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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 16, 2014 1:13:41 GMT
We went on a Disney cruise fall of 2013 with my dh, myself, 16 ds and 4 ds. We had a great trip! Our 16 year loved it and 4 year old did too. Our 16 (now 17) loved the teen club, all the freedom on the ship, doing a teen excursion and just had an amazing week. We left him stay out until late and it was just a great experience. Our youngest ds liked the kids program but doesn't have the personality that wants to stay there all day. We would have him there 2-3 hours tops and often had text or calls before then that he was asking to be picked up. He is use to us having date nights, goes to preschool, etc. He just just the type if he has his preference he would be with mom and dad.
Ds 17 has 2 more years of high school. We planned on going one more time while he was in high school. Disney pulled out of our port in our home state but will be back next fall for a couple months. However, I found out that once you hit 18 Disney will not allow you to be in the teen program even if you are in high school. Ds 17 is on the autism spectrum, very high functioning but needs a program and thrives when there is one. We wouldn't take him at 19 or 20 unless he had a group of friends going. He doesn't want to be with us but for a small amount of events, some meals, etc. We are cool we that and thrilled where he is at.
My dh was talking about planning a cruise this fall and doing Disney again as a family. Ds5 hears us talking and said, that he really didn't want to go on the Mickey ship. I told my dh honestly after our last 2 trips being a family vacation I wasn't so sure I wanted to do a family trip this fall. We go every spring for a week away just the 2 of us. We were bouncing around the idea of doing a trip this fall just the 2 of us. My mom has more time on her hands and could help and both are kids are in school FT so their care is less than in past years.
Than I had the thought what about doing a Disney cruise and just taking ds17. We SO want to go when he can do the teen program again and we only have until next spring to do so. The following fall if we want to go on one out of our home port with our little guy we could and not take ds who would be 18 at that time.
Have you ever gone on a vacation and just taken one of your kids? Ds 22 is away at school and doesn't just love cruising. Both my boys went to Alaska this June with their dad and loved Alaska but ds22 not so much the cruising aspect. He will be in school during that time too.
I told my dh my idea and he kind of looked at me like I was nuts. I said it is kind of the best of both worlds. We would give ds17 the trip we really want him to be able to do one more time and we would have a lot of time together just us too.
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Post by melanell on Aug 16, 2014 1:17:30 GMT
I think it could work if there was a plan in place for one on one time with the other child in the future if they wished.
It sounds like the perfect idea in this particular case, really. DS 17 gets to go while it's still a great fit for him, and DS 5 doesn't have to do something he's not into.
Best of luck!
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Post by gryroagain on Aug 16, 2014 1:21:56 GMT
I have taken both my dds on solo trips. Oldest DD and I visited hot springs and hiked on our own for a few days, youngest DD and I went to away gymnastics meets and stayed a few days to sight see. It's a lovely way to bond with the kids, IMO, I think you should do it while you can!
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Post by Kelpea on Aug 16, 2014 1:25:13 GMT
Funny you should post! Just found out today, actually, that my son's football coach made some noise today about my son's possibly starting as safety for his freshman football team at high school this season. For Adam, it's a huuuuuuuuge deal, since he was a latecomer to the game (only the last couple of years for a rec team; made the middle school team his last year but got very little field time).
He already asked me if he could stay behind the last week in August while the rest of us go on vacation. I support him in his endeavors, and if he gets to start for his team, but misses practices the week before school, he loses his spot.
I wouldn't dream of his not making this team. So I say, "go for it!"
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Post by kristi on Aug 16, 2014 1:27:30 GMT
I have taken my daughter & son on solo trips. I remember them as extra special & think the kids feel the same way.
If your younger son doesn't want to go & you have someone to watch him, I think it is perfectly ok to go and have fun.
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marimoose
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Post by marimoose on Aug 16, 2014 1:32:35 GMT
I took my youngest daughter to Florida two years ago. My two oldest did not live at home and my then 18yo son was working and doesn't like the same kind of stuff that his sitter and I like. My dh, just happened to be out of town for half of that week, and my son was thrilled to have the house to himself and invited a friend to stay over. I am thinking of taking my son on a couple of days hiking getaway in a few weeks. I say go for it especially since your window of opportunity is closing for oldest son.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2014 1:34:58 GMT
Your youngest child will have plenty more opportunities to vacation with you after the 17yo becomes more independent and doesn't go. So take your older son and enjoy your time with him. Youngest ds will love having Grandma to himself.
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Post by txdancermom on Aug 16, 2014 1:41:58 GMT
Yes we have. One summer, dh wanted to go to the Saturn Homecoming (in his Saturn) and since we had done that road trip once with 2 smaller kids, I was not keen on going again unless we took the bigger car (not a Saturn). about the same time, the American Girl store opened in Chicago - so dh and I each took a kid and went on separate vacations - dh and ds to Saturn and then Civil War battlefields on the way to and from, dd and I to Chicago to AG Place and other things around where I grew up.
we have done other seperate trips for other reasons.
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Post by maryland on Aug 16, 2014 1:47:00 GMT
I think it sounds like a great idea! Your 17 yr. old son wants to go and can be in a teen group one more time. Your younger son doesn't want to go. You will save money this way, and have a great time with your older son.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Aug 16, 2014 1:47:02 GMT
Do it! There seems to be no reason not to! Have fun!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2014 1:48:18 GMT
given the time is short when your 17 year old won't be able to have the same enjoyment I'd plan to take him. leave the little guy at home. There will be other years coming when little guy gets his vacations with just mom and dad because the older boys will both be living their own life in some way.
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Post by Tamhugh on Aug 16, 2014 1:49:15 GMT
When D [HASH]1 was in 8th grade, I had planned a trip to Disney. It overlapped one day of middle school basketball tryouts. He and DH decided they would stay home so he could go to tryouts and I went to WDW with D [HASH]2. At first, it bothered me, but then it turned out great. They are 4 years apart and we had done fun things with [HASH]1 when he was still an only child. This trip was perfect because [HASH]2 could pick what he wanted to do and where he wanted to eat, etc without having to compromise. We had a blast for a few days alone and then my parents and sister's family joined us for 2 days. It was one of my favorite trips ever.
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Aug 16, 2014 1:50:41 GMT
My friends just took a family vacation with only 1 child and they were disappointed. The dh said he takes little time off of work (and they go away 3 times a year or more) that when when he's on vacation he wants to spend it with the whole family. They thought the time they had with that 1 child was great and meaningful, but that the others were a bit left out and jealous, even though they did other things with their parents.
I also think that you don't ask a five year old if they want to go again, you just take them. 5 year olds always find a way to have fun. If he didn't like the child minding just keep him with you. We do many date nights and trips way without kids, but my kids also don't like the child minding on a cruise ship, so we just keep them with us. Afterall, dh and I spend enough time alone when we're at home or vacationing together that we don't need those 3 hours on a cruise ship.
So I'd say it's better to take everyone. But then again I'd probably take ds when he's 19 on a ship and just say he's 18 so he can partake with the teen area which is what he enjoys, so maybe I'm a bad one to ask.
Have fun no matter what you choose!
Paige.
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akathy
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Post by akathy on Aug 16, 2014 1:55:56 GMT
Sounds like a great idea to me. You have a lot of years to take youngest DS on vacations and not many left with older DS. I'd take the opportunity for your middle son to have some alone time with just Mom & Dad. Being the middle child is hard. You don't get much time with just your parents and not either brother there. It'll be good for all of you. I didn't believe in making sure my kids had the same experience. I tried to parent according to their individual needs instead.
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Post by mdoc on Aug 16, 2014 1:58:55 GMT
My DH has taken each of our kids to Disney World by herself. Each went when she was at a perfect age to enjoy Disney with Daddy without older or younger siblings to get in the way. I think it's wonderful for kids to get to do things with parents individually, and my kids loved it.
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Post by lattemomof3 on Aug 16, 2014 2:05:43 GMT
Testing to see if I can post
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Post by lattemomof3 on Aug 16, 2014 2:17:07 GMT
Ok!  for some reason I can quick reply, but not create a post or post the regular way! DS12 and I are taking a 5 day trip to Disneyland, just the 2 of us, in October. I have a nephew who is an only child, and my kids think he is soooo lucky to be able to travel with his parents by himself, have their full attention, help choose where to eat etc. so we decided to take each kid on a solo trip. We don't have grandparents who will help watch kids at home, so dh & I have to split up. DH took dd14 to Disney last year, the year before that I took DD8. It was great for DLH & dd14 to bond, because she is usually my buddy & does a lot with me. They still talk about their trip, and for Christmas Dd14 made a large frame with photos of their trip in it for DH's office. I am similarly looking forward to hanging out with ds12, who does a lot with my day at home. And I loved taking dd8 (she was 6 when we went) because she was my last little girl to dress up as a princess, get photo ops with princesses & pooh, and do little girl things on our trip. It is SO MUCH FUN to get to focus on one child, we had such great conversations & we get to know new things about them. As long as you promise the 5 year old that he will also have his own special trip, he should be fine getting spoiled by grandma for the week:). Bring him home a special souvenir. As others have said, you will have many more years to travel with him, but I bet it will mean a lot to your middle son, and your dh & you, to take a special trip before he graduates. |
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Post by lattemomof3 on Aug 16, 2014 2:18:52 GMT
And the very best part about traveling with one child? No sibling arguments!! |
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 16, 2014 2:54:38 GMT
Thank you for your replies! Big help! The deal they have allows a one hour hold time! LOL Not much time to think about it. We had been talking about it for a few weeks but just weren't ready to decide. However, we will leap for a great deal.
Paige-We wouldn't not be taking him because he doesn't want to go. It is more that it isn't his love and favorite thing and we can take him again in the future. If he went he would have a good time but it also wouldn't give us much time together and not be in parent mode. Our middle ds had some time with us but loved the teen events. We would go this year with old middle ds and next year when Disney is porting in our home state we would take our little guy. I can't lie about his age. You have a passport and state ID so if someone wanted to lie about it that wouldn't be possible. I confirmed with her on the phone that once you turn 18 (even if you are in HS) you cannot be in the teen program and she said that is correct.
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Aug 16, 2014 4:13:05 GMT
I am on the fence. I think it's fine, but you have to 'even it out,' as it were. You can't take middle ds on a special trip just him and not take the younger one. I've been there, though as the older child. I didn't even want to go where they were going and I still resented them taking my little brother on a trip and me not getting one. And making younger ds wait a year doesn't count in the sense of keeping things even/fair. You need to do something with him in the same time period as this trip (as in no more than a month or two after your cruise) or it's not fair.
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stepht5
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Post by stepht5 on Aug 16, 2014 5:06:35 GMT
DH and I have both done trips with just one of our kids And plenty of family trips with everyone! |
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anaterra
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Post by anaterra on Aug 16, 2014 11:08:44 GMT
My ex n I split when my children were pretty young... we have 2 boys n 1 girl in the middle... 1 yr he wanted to take the boys to a baseball game.. my daughter would have hated it n been a brat making my ex upset... n not letting her bros enjoy.. i thought perfect op for us to do a girls trip... the next summer I took my oldest son.. the following summer my youngest... 1 on 1 trips turn out to be their faves! My ex alternated spring breaks for 1 on 1... they all have fun memories of family trips n parent trips... ur youngest may feel upset n left out but when he gets his trip it will click.. and you do have so many more yrs of just him along... no guilt here... I think its a good thing..
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Post by eversograceful1 on Aug 16, 2014 12:27:00 GMT
I've known quite a few people who do this. You could always plan something special with your 5yo only at a different time
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 16, 2014 14:18:37 GMT
We would be doing this trip with my 5ds the following fall when they are porting out of Galveston. But at that time my middle ds will be 18 and can't be part of the teen program. Due to his needs and likes that would be a no go for him and not work. Ds5 bent and personality isn't for trips. We take him on trips and he does fine but if we let him choose he would say lets stay home! LOL We don't let a 5 year old decide we do but they just don't do it for him. He went away for 4-5 days to a cabin this summer in Arkansas with 40 friends and another week at a family camp with 38 families and that is his favorite vacation ever. This was our 9th year and he loves going. By the time we will take him on the Disney cruise out of our home state port he will be almost 7 hopefully wants to go. If he really wasn't totally not into it then we would look at other options. This is the child that the first time I took him to the movies he said, oh man that made me nervous. He functions fine in life but likes home, routines, etc. We see on our trips he does enjoy them and never has an issue but know they stretch him which we are great with. When we did our fall family cruise last year my middle ds talked about when we do it again next year and we told him honey this isn't going to be a every thing type trip. Our other vacation is a annual event so in his mind he thought great now we have added a new annual event! My mom heart just wants to be able to give us a fun memory with just him while before 18 hits and they won't allow him to be in the teen program. At one point he was at a place that we questioned even taking him on vacations because it was no vacation for anyone and very challenging. He is doing SO much better now and I love the idea of being able to imagine and do a trip where we would go just the 3 of us.
Thanks for your input. We wouldn't be telling him anytime soon, would buy trip insurance and find a fun way to surprise him about it in the future.
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trollie
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Post by trollie on Aug 16, 2014 14:20:15 GMT
I thinks separate trips are fine.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 16, 2014 14:32:28 GMT
Hearing the replies from people that did a trip and just took one of their kids and the childs perspective of it being so special makes me ready to move forward. My dad did next to nothing solo with me growing up. One time he took me to dinner and than HUGELY surprised me on the way home and bought me a moped. A bunch of my friends had gotten them that summer and were going all around our neighborhood. I never asked for one much less dreamed of one but that night is one of my fondest memories I have with my dad. Not so much because he spend $ but because he thought of me. He took time for me. My mom always took time for us but dad struggled with relationship and didn't want the "work" that they brought. Sad but true yet I will always treasure that memory and also the trips we did go on. We lived in MI, had a boat and often went on lake vacations and used our boat. Fond memories.
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 16, 2014 14:33:39 GMT
If your youngest is fine with everyone but him going it should be good. I'd assure him that he will get to do something special when you return. Or before. Ice skating, horseback riding, a week of aquarium and zoo visits, whatever things he enjoys.
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Aug 16, 2014 14:34:34 GMT
Yea, I say take the vacation...leave the little guy home with grandma
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scrappinghappy
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Post by scrappinghappy on Aug 16, 2014 16:02:02 GMT
We do it all the time. We have four kids and try to take one family vacation with everyone when possible but with two kids away at college it isn't always easy to schedule. We do trips with all of them one on one and it's a great bonding experience. DH takes them hiking or camping, I prefer working bathrooms and electricty, LOL. DD (15) and I are going to London for a week. She doesn't know it yet but she's been talking wistfully about going to London and everything she'd do while there and is going to have her socks blown off when she sees her ticket at the airport. Can't wait. While we're gone, DH will take DS to Boston and meet our other two there.
The kids LOVE the one on one trips - undivided attention, getting to do only what THEY want to do, no compromise. [HASH]besttimeever
If your little one will have a blast with Grandma, I would do it in a flash.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 16, 2014 18:16:02 GMT
Scrappinghappy-That is good to hear. Thanks for sharing. The travels has always meshed well because of our family camp. We didn't do much outside of that. Our family camp is really nice and cost more than a Disney cruise! LOL So before last year we didn't do another family trip outside of that. My 2 oldest went on trips with their dad so they did have other trips and they would do weekend youth trips at church or youth camp in the summer. But at this point with an adult, a close to being adult and a little guy I can see making some changes. Our family camp has programs from birth to highschool age but not college. College kids can still go but that means they would go in with the adults. So most of them stop at that point. I think my middle guy will continue going to that for as long as it works and they might make an exception for him being with the teenagers. It is his favorite place on this planet. I would be fine with him going and doing more with us but his heart is to hang out with the guys or at least at this point it is.
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for some reason I can quick reply, but not create a post or post the regular way! DS12 and I are taking a 5 day trip to Disneyland, just the 2 of us, in October. I have a nephew who is an only child, and my kids think he is soooo lucky to be able to travel with his parents by himself, have their full attention, help choose where to eat etc. so we decided to take each kid on a solo trip. We don't have grandparents who will help watch kids at home, so dh & I have to split up. DH took dd14 to Disney last year, the year before that I took DD8. It was great for DLH & dd14 to bond, because she is usually my buddy & does a lot with me. They still talk about their trip, and for Christmas Dd14 made a large frame with photos of their trip in it for DH's office. I am similarly looking forward to hanging out with ds12, who does a lot with my day at home. And I loved taking dd8 (she was 6 when we went) because she was my last little girl to dress up as a princess, get photo ops with princesses & pooh, and do little girl things on our trip. It is SO MUCH FUN to get to focus on one child, we had such great conversations & we get to know new things about them. 
