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Post by Ryann on Aug 16, 2014 18:11:24 GMT
My opinion is that she should be able to not have a curfew. If she is not coming home for the night, she tells you so before she leaves or she calls to tell you this before you go to bed. That way when you get up in the morning and her bed is empty, you don't need to worry she's lying in ditch somewhere because she didn't come home.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 16, 2014 18:17:46 GMT
I'd take this opportunity to ask that she call when she plans to spend the night away from home.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,899
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Aug 16, 2014 18:25:43 GMT
At 8:30 this morning. She will be 20 next month. She is a good girl, going to college full time and working. So, we don't really have a curfew. But today was something that has never occurred . What's your opinion? Say something, or let it go. I'm torn because she doesn't drink, smoke or any other bad habits. I know who she was with and where they were. Hmmm what do you think? When I was that age and home for summer break from college I was expected to give them an ETA on when I'd be home. That might be worth a talk with her - but I wouldn't try and put a curfew on a 20 year old who's doing what she needs to do with college and work!
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ReneeH20
Full Member
Posts: 452
Jun 28, 2014 16:00:48 GMT
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Post by ReneeH20 on Aug 16, 2014 20:13:33 GMT
I have a 19 and a 20 yo. They don't have curfews. Like other poster's kids, they are expected to tell us where they are going and an estimate of when they will return. If they are going to stay out, they send a text to my phone.
I would talk to your daughter about it. Not coming at her all mad, but since she is an adult now it's common courtesy to let people you live with know if you'll be gone. I used the example of their Dad and I checking in with each other if he is working late or I am.
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Post by Sassenach on Aug 16, 2014 21:47:45 GMT
I think she should have sent a quick text to let you know she was ok. Even though you know where she was supposed to be, I still would have been worried. Everyone makes mistakes so unless this becomes a habit I would just talk to her this time.
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Post by genny on Aug 16, 2014 22:23:07 GMT
That's tough. I had super strict rules while I was at home, even after 21. My DS will be 18 in April, but will still be in high school so it will still be somewhat strict until graduation (strict by our standards is damn well lax compared to my mom BTW - we are pretty loose and open around here)
I agree that a text or call letting you know that she's not coming home are a show of respect and she needs to do adhere by that.
Genny
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Post by maryland on Aug 17, 2014 2:34:58 GMT
My son just turned 18 and we are going thru the same thing. The rule is to tell me where you're going, who you're with and what time you'll be home. If there are any changes in the plan, I'm to be told that too. Technically, if he was away at college like some of his friends, I wouldn't even have that information, so I tell myself I'm lucky (depending on how you look at it ) to know that much. So far he's been pretty good about sharing. Doesn't mean I'm getting the truth, but what can I really do, kwim? At 20, if she's shown good judgement in the past, I'd say you have to let it go. They were easier when they were toddlers, weren't they?
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Aug 17, 2014 2:37:30 GMT
I would want to know that she was staying out so I wouldn't worry.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Aug 17, 2014 2:59:28 GMT
I was already married at age 20. I say leave it alone.
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Post by AussieMeg on Aug 17, 2014 3:52:00 GMT
Gawd, I just had a sudden flashback to me at 20, walking home from a big night out with a girlfriend as the sun was coming up, then sleeping all day.
But......
I'd KILL my DD if she did that!! She at least should have the courtesy of letting you know if she isn't going to be home at night.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Aug 17, 2014 3:55:33 GMT
My only rule with my 26ds who still lives at home is to text if he's not coming home. No details necessary. I'd expect that even if it was another adult living in my home.
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stepht5
Shy Member
Posts: 39
Jul 2, 2014 23:43:49 GMT
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Post by stepht5 on Aug 17, 2014 5:01:55 GMT
I have younger kids in the house so, we've never allowed that type of behavior. In fact when our oldest daughter was 20 I made her move out because she consistently stayed out until 2 or so during the week. She didn't drink or do drugs. But, we are a family house not a flop house. If you can't be home most evenings you need to live in your own place.
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