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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 17, 2017 1:18:33 GMT
Your "children" aren't children. They are young adults. They can take care of themselves. In fact they can help take care of nephew if needed. To me it's a family thing, and something family does for other family. It's just not about you.
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caniplay
Junior Member
Posts: 66
Nov 1, 2014 16:21:16 GMT
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Post by caniplay on Feb 17, 2017 1:35:50 GMT
I'd let SIL follow in her own car and drive and be support to her own son. In this situation I would not want to have to be a support system for your DH and 4 kids plus another, esp with behavior issues. Ive been there when my Grandpa was placed in hospice and my sister asked the same of me. (She hasn't been an ideal parent either and I had always been the 'fall back' parent to her 5 kids.) I had to tell her NO, that I needed to focus on me and my kids, since we were all closer to Grandpa than her kids were.
So, in short, No, I would not take him but I' d suggest caravaning there and back, like you mentioned. Maybe then your DH can help SIL control her son, if needed, but not be his main support.
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Post by mollycoddle on Feb 17, 2017 1:59:03 GMT
Would her ex consider taking him?
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Post by txdancermom on Feb 17, 2017 2:04:24 GMT
I think I would decline to take him with me, you will have enough to deal with your dd's and the emotions that go along with your mil's situation. If sil wants her son to go, she should take him.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 17, 2017 2:12:51 GMT
Remember your children are always learning. In a few years, when they have families of their own - how do you hope they treat each other? how do you expect them to treat their future nieces and nephews? Do you expect them to simply concentrate on their own immediate family when things are difficult?
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Post by littlemama on Feb 17, 2017 2:28:48 GMT
Does SIL have to work and that is why she can't take him? If so, is MIL not expected to make it to the following weekend? If the answer to both of those questions is no, then my answer would be no, particularly if nephew isn't close to MIL. If you SIL has to work and this could be MILs final weekend, then I would take him.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 17, 2017 3:39:31 GMT
I would suggest that his mother be the one to take him. It would be nice if you did, but it seems like this is his mother's responsibility not yours. You already have six people in a van. It sounds like the daughter needs to step up.
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
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Post by pridemom on Feb 17, 2017 19:09:06 GMT
Updated in original post.
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Post by anonrefugee on Feb 17, 2017 19:34:27 GMT
Good update. Best wishes to you and your family making this trip.
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julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
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Post by julieb on Feb 17, 2017 20:26:52 GMT
Great update! Adults should act like adults.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Feb 17, 2017 20:43:46 GMT
I just saw this thread and I'm so glad it's working out that you don't have to make this decision. I'm very sorry for the situation.
That said, I absolutely agree that you should worry about your family first.
I have very clear priorities on who gets first dibs on my attention and who comes first in my concerns and that is always my nuclear family - DH and our kids. Next is my mom and grands when they were here, including DH's folks. After that, I worry about my brother and his family. My mom used to pester me to take my nieces and nephews on our trips, but my family didn't want to do that; they liked having all my attention and knowing that we would travel the way they liked to travel. As much as I love my mom and nephews, my kids got my attention first.
Marcy
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caniplay
Junior Member
Posts: 66
Nov 1, 2014 16:21:16 GMT
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Post by caniplay on Feb 17, 2017 21:55:57 GMT
I agree with your update and understand your feelings of guilt. I hope your family feels peace and comfort soon.
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