Update: I'm down in the dumps

That IS frustrating and disappointing. I'd be angry and hurt too. Hugs.

maybe she is fine with going - but feels like you dont want her there since you are mentioning asking other people?

I dunno. I would want to believe that she would keep her word about going. Maybe something else is going on?

 I'm sorry she's treating you like this.

You mentioned you two discussed the cruise and cost, but did she know you were moving forward with buying the tickets?

Aww. I'm sorry. I'd feel hurt and frustrated if I were you too.

I'm guessing that she just isn't in a place where she can afford cruise vacations and hasn't found the courage to just come out and tell you that. If I were in her shoes, I'd feel so bad about letting you down, especially after you picked up the tab last year. I feel anxious just thinking about how she must be feeling about owing you a couple of thousand dollars now.

Money and friendship just don't mix well. In the future, plan the vacation you want to take and go for it. You can let her know if she wants to join you that you can split expenses, but don't commit financially for her ahead of time. If that means that she misses out, that's okay.

That's not what I meant at all. It's already done, she's already been paid for by the OP. There's no changing that. So she has a choice to continue to be down about, and let the awkward money issue possibly come between her and her friend. Or invite her, learn a hard lesson, and move on. OP absolutely deserves to be upset; I would be, too. But since what's done is done, I'd do my best to let it go and move on. Inviting her already-paid-for friend isn't meant to prove anything at all; it's just deciding what's more important, her friendship or the money.

I agree. Stop paying her way. I am betting she feels very awkward about it. Get your money back. Go by yourself or find somewhere that is not as expensive and see if she can afford to pay her own way. Seriously though---stop paying for her.


ETA: Wish you were a friend of mine...I am always looking for someone to travel with and I am a teacher too!! 

This.

I'm sorry that your "friend" isn't sounding like one.

Can you see if the other cruise is still open and switch?

Vacations should always be something to look forward to that bring you pleasure. I can certainly see how what's happening is dampening all that for you.

It's time to have an honest heart-to-heart with your friend. This really sounds like a communication problem. Maybe too many assumptions being made? Sit down with her and talk this through. You really need to know where she stands going forward.

Perhaps she assumed you were paying this time as you did before. Then when you booked and the $ came up as due, she was surprised, embarrassed and now awkward.

All depends on what was discussed before and after booking.

I would be really frustrated too. It would be presumptuous for her to think you are treating again and really inconsiderate to not say anything.

When it's all said and done...I hope you have a great time!

Make her pay for something: taxi to cruise, drinks on ship, shore excursions. Just because of the way she handled this. Don't reward bad behavior. Ask for a small sum of money upfront before boarding the ship.

There's gotta be someone else that wants to do this with you, you just haven't asked the right people. At a meeting last week my co-worker said she went to Guadaloupe for 10 days because the flight was only $200! My other co-worker said "hey I saw that deal too but couldn't find anyone to go with me". I said I would have gone with you. We do lunches and chat all the time, but I guess because we don't hang out outside of work she didn't think to ask me. In the past few years I've seen friends on facebook post their vacation pics and when I see them next I'll ask who they went with and have discovered that quite a few of my friends are traveling alone. I've made it known to people - you can ask me, I'm always down to travel somewhere.

This reminded me of the time my friend bought 2 concert tickets in a city across the country. She had agreed with a friend to do this together. After she bought the tickets her friend just went MIA and avoided her for months. Later he resurfaced and said he couldn't afford to go. She was pissed at how he handled it. She was able to sell the other ticket online.

if she doesn't pay for the cruise, at least let her pay for excursions, drinks, and whatever else is not included in the cruise.  just so there is some fairness to come out of this.

this was a painful lesson but at least now you know. next year, indulge yourself wherever YOU want to go.