Help me find the solution to these kitchen dilemmas

I can't speak to anything other than the chicken in the crock pot...but I do that one regularly (to debone and freeze in dinner size portions.) My way works but it is truly hysterically funny to watch. I use a big wooden spoon stuck up in the cavity and the pasta ladle (mine is plastic so the pasta tines are pointy plastic) to scoop up the front. Lift the whole thing out at once and plop in the big mixing bowl to cool. 

And when I saw funny...I mean like the time the chicken slid off the wood spoon stuck up it's whoowhoo and went flying across the kitchen floor leaving a chicken ooze trail across the floor. And two cats flying after it trying to get a bite out of it but it was too hot and so they kept wacking so that it was fly off in a new direction with them chasing it again. And two teenage boys trying to catch the chicken, the cats and their breath because they were laughing so hard they couldn't hardly stand up straight. And their mother jumping up and down screeching like a rabid monkey with her butt hairs on fire. That kind of funny.

 

I think you need to use a lot. like drapped over the edges of the sieve. You can't be THAT clutsy! ha

. Wrap the chicken bones in cheesecloth and tie it up before putting it in the cooker. Then just pull it out off the broth, slip a wooden spoon through the top of the "bag," and suspend it over the pot to drain. Once it is finished draining just toss the whole mess.

That's how I make my broth out of a turkey carcass or rotisserie chicken carcass.

If you have more than just bones to cook, wrap the bones and scraps of meat separately. Then you don't have to pick through the bones afterwards to recover any meat you might want for soup.

Yeah, because that won't make you feel inadequate.  (I do love her, and her I'm so much better than you attitude really makes me giggle.)  

I use whatever combination of large forks, tongs, pot holders, serving spoons, etc., to get a big roast out of the pan. It's never very neat and clean. For a whole turkey, I have these giant, sharp forky things (I forget what they're called) from Pampered Chef to lift the turkey out. Oh yeah, I think they're called turkey lifters. Just as messy as everything else, but at least they're strong enough to lift a large turkey.

For straining soup, I put the pot or bowl it's going into in the deep side of my hi-low sink. I put the large sieve over it and kind of prop it on the divider between the sinks, so it's less likely to tip off. Then I pour carefully. (First I have already scooped out all the big chunks of bone, skin, veggies, etc.)

Now this part is really important: wash (or at least rinse well in hot water) the mesh sieve right away. Everything rinses off easily, or if not, I give it quick wipe with a scrubber. Then it can go into the dishwasher whenever. I've never had any serious problem getting it clean this way. If you leave it to dry up with everything stuck on, it's going to be much harder to clean.

I just have a stainless steel one with the black plastic handle/lock in the center.

I've read about a silicon lift thing to put under the chicken in the slow cooker then the handles fold over the top of the chicken, when the chicken is done just lift the whole thing out. Others use it under roasts and ham. I heard about it in slowcooker groups I belong too. I don't cook whole chickens though so never really paid attention.