pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Feb 25, 2017 14:20:56 GMT
MIL is in hospice in a nursing home, and will pass soon. Last weekend when we were there, FIL asked me to make him a collection of recipes he can make for himself. He's 77 and MIL has done all of the cooking. They have a couple of 'Cooking for Two' type cookbooks, but he's a simple meat and potatoes type guy. I was thinking about a simple collection of basic recipes that would make enough for supper and lunch the next day.
I am also going to try to make up Crock Pot frozen meals in small size he can make without a lot of leftovers.
I am used to cooking for our crowd, so cooking for one is a big change.
I wish he was closer. I could bring him meals or have him over regularly.
I hate that he's going to be alone after 52 years. Cancer sucks.
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Post by librarylady on Feb 25, 2017 14:39:00 GMT
There is a cookbook of recipes that only use 4 ingredients.
He might find that useful.
Would he consider a retirement/independent living apartment near your home?
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Feb 25, 2017 14:45:56 GMT
Check out the Campbells site.
When I first learned to cook a million years ago I made of lot of things from them. We still like their chicken and rice with cream of crap soup. Lol.
Also, check Pinterest for "sheet pan" recipes. I use a lot of those ideas for quick meals.
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wellway
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Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Feb 25, 2017 14:52:38 GMT
I was going to suggest a cookbook for one but that might be too sad. Has he internet access? Maybe links to some food sites.
My other thought was, did your Mil do all the shopping? If he has to start shopping now he might find it overwhelming. Can someone do a few trips with him to get the lie of the land?
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Post by leannec on Feb 25, 2017 14:54:46 GMT
Check out the Campbells site. When I first learned to cook a million years ago I made of lot of things from them. We still like their chicken and rice with cream of crap soup. Lol. Also, check Pinterest for "sheet pan" recipes. I use a lot of those ideas for quick meals.  Could you make up some spaghetti sauce, chili, beef stew, etc. for him and freeze it? We've done that for MIL ... Pinterest is a wealth of ideas for simple stuff ... especially chicken based dishes if he is into that ... here is my "Everything Chicken" Pinterest board that might help you get started  Leanne's Everything Chicken Pinterest Board |
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 25, 2017 14:57:35 GMT
Another option is a program like "Let's Dish". You go in and do all the prep ahead, then freeze. He wouldn't have to shop for any of the ingredients. I used to do this all the time. This program creates 6 servings, but I would divide into 2, so 3 servings per meal. DH often ate 2 servings. He could have leftovers the next day. It's actually pretty fun to put them together. link |
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Post by librarylady on Feb 25, 2017 14:58:49 GMT
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 25, 2017 15:05:17 GMT
Oh, and rotisserie chicken! He can add a baked potato and a vegetable. Easy |
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Post by littlemama on Feb 25, 2017 15:06:43 GMT
Honestly, the best thing you can do is write down how to prepare basics- how to bake a chicken breast, how to fry a pork chop, how to make scrambled eggs, how to make and freeze spaghetti sauce, etc.
He's not going to need anything fancy to start, he is going to need the basics.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
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Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Feb 25, 2017 15:09:06 GMT
Have him check out the frozen veg section of his supermarket. Lots of choice and the benefits are he can use as much or little as he wants and there is no waste and no prep.
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Feb 25, 2017 15:12:01 GMT
Ouch. This one got me, OP. I wish him and you all good thoughts. And good food, seasoned with great memories.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Feb 25, 2017 16:33:10 GMT
I don't have any specific recipes at the moment, but I know that at least on allrecipes.com, if you find a recipe you like, you can change the serving size and it will scale it down for you, and then you can print it with the revised measurements. Now, that leads you sometimes to weird things like 2T 2t of butter or 1/6 cup of something, but as long as it's cooking and not baking which is more precise, he'll be okay if it's a tad bit off and he just uses, say 2T of butter.
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Peamac
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Post by Peamac on Feb 25, 2017 18:16:14 GMT
Can you make a small recipe book of some of MIL's recipes that aren't difficult to make? I'd write the recipes out on 4x6 cards and put them in a 4x6 photo album from the Dollar Tree or Michaels. That way they'll stay clean and be easy to find.
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Post by Basket1lady on Feb 25, 2017 18:31:45 GMT
My in laws are dealing with this right now and we are 2,000 miles away. FIL is now in charge of the house due to MIL's dementia. And he doesn't really cook, even though it's been a few years.
He does heat things up from the grocery store. So frozen "TV" dinners, frozen meals, soups, ready to eat from the deli area (pasta salads, rotisserie chicken, ribs, pot roast) are all choices for them. They eat a lot of sandwiches, too.
Twice a week they get lunch from Meals On Wheels, which also gives us an unofficial check-in on them. If no one answers the door or there are newspapers in the drive way that haven't been brought in, we are notified of that. In addition, they go to the senior center in town twice a week for a meal as well. That gets them out of the house and it's regulars, so they see people that they know. And once a week, the local casino provides them with lunch and $5 to gamble with. FIL loves that!
I'm sure they are getting way too much salt in their diet and not enough whole foods, but they are both in their 80s and still out and about. You take what you can get.
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zztop11
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Post by zztop11 on Feb 25, 2017 20:21:05 GMT
Protein foods are easy. Teach him how to broil or fry a steak, fish and chicken pieces. After that all he has to do is add some type of salad dressing like italian in the pan with it to make a glaze. Done in a few minutes. I give him lots of credit for wanting to learn. Now a days there are so many prepared foods, it makes it easier. Boston Market makes a wonderful meatloaf that would last him for days.
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Why
Drama Llama
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Post by Why on Feb 25, 2017 20:52:46 GMT
I would suggest one of the small size George Forman type grills. I find it the easiest for doing one chicken breast or one chop or burger. Mine is old and doesn't have parts that could go in the dishwasher or sink. If it did I think I would toss all my skillets. The booklet has a chart for how long each should take so it cuts down on the guess work.
Great start for those meat and potato meals guys love. |
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Post by LisaDV on Feb 25, 2017 21:03:32 GMT
Lots of good advice already given, I just wanted to say "cancer does sucks". Hugs and prayers for your family.
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Post by goldenblind221 on Feb 25, 2017 21:06:28 GMT
Poor FIL.  My heart hurts for him. Have you thought about places like Snap Kitchen or Dream Dinners? They are meal peep places that take all of the guess work out for you. Just reheat and eat! If not, I agree with the idea already mentioned to go with the basics: how to pan cook a chicken breast, how to do a roast chicken, etc. There are lots of good recipes out there (pioneer woman has lots of man-tested man-approved recipes I can vouch for) that maybe he can prepare, then freeze or refrigerate and use as leftovers for a couple days. Versatile things like roast chicken, pot roast, ground beef spaghetti sauce, chili, etc., lend themselves very well to repurposing in other meals. |
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Feb 25, 2017 21:15:13 GMT
All great ideas. I like the George Foreman grill idea, too.
He currently lives rent free in a parsonage as he's still pastoring. But it's got foundation issues and needs other repairs, and it's just too big for him. There's a lot of things to go through before he could move. DH plans to go up after school is out and help with that process. There are Senior apartments and his sister actually lives there. She is helping us to try to convince him to take that option. Then they could share meals and he'd have no maintenance or yard work. He had talked of buying a house and we are trying to dissuade him. The market in their town is awful and he is not in any shape to handle home repairs or upkeep.
He has internet, but would do better if something is already made. I like the photo album idea for organizing and keeping clean. We bought DS "A Man, A Can, & A Plan," maybe Dad would like that.
He can do basic things. He's just not sure of how to put everything together. I also think he's just more overwhelmed than he admits.
He likes to have breakfast with his buddies and he can get MoW's. The town he lives in is in rural S Dakota, so the meal prep place is out of range for him.
I like the idea of taking MILs recipes to feed two.
Thanks again. I will get started on it.
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Post by silverlining on Feb 25, 2017 21:32:01 GMT
I love the idea of asking him what his favorite dishes were that your MIL used to cook. Then you can see if the recipes can be simplified maybe, and which ones might work for him to freeze portions for other days and which ones could be easily adapted for one or two servings.
Also, ask him what he likes to order at restaurants, and what he enjoys at potlucks. Some of those might be easy things for him to prepare for himself.
I'm so sorry that he is having to deal with this.
My FIL was in a similar situation when my MIL was sick and after she passed away. He actually enjoyed learning to cook, inventing new recipes, and bragging to us about what he made:)
He had always been the forgetful one in their relationship, and not especially helpful in the kitchen. When he was forced to by MIL's illness, he kept track of all their appointments, made grocery lists, shopped, and cooked. MIL had never really wanted him to do that stuff before, so he didn't, but it turned out that he was much more capable than we thought!
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by mlana on Feb 25, 2017 21:35:36 GMT
I am so sorry y'all are having to go thru this.
My mom hates to cook and she stays with me about 3 weeks out of the month. She, like my DH, has high blood pressure, so she eats a low sodium diet here. When she goes home, I send homemade, low sodium meals frozen in small portions and sealed with my Foodsaver. She has the option of microwaving them or she can drop some of them into boiling water and they're ready in just a few minutes. I also send her home with some fresh things like cooked and sliced chicken breast, taco fixings and fresh tortillas, and whatever leftovers she wants to take. She really loves my homemade yogurt, so I mix some up with fruit and agave and send it with her.
If you and your DH live close enough, you could make meals, freeze them, and take them to him regularly. You could also make him dump meals for his crockpot.
Marcy
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Post by librarylady on Feb 25, 2017 21:47:46 GMT
If he is still with a congregation, I'll guess that members of the congregation will bring over lots of food. When my BIL died, my sister had so much food--and we packaged it in meals for 1 or 2 and popped it in the freezer.
Another option for the future: You could make some frozen meal packages, freeze them. When you have several, get a Styrofoam cooler, put in your frozen packages, top it off with dry ice, tape shut (sealed well) and FexEx it to him. Hopefully you are not so far away to make this impossible.
My husband's Rx is mailed in the cooler with dry ice and that is how I know it can happen.
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by pridemom on Feb 25, 2017 21:55:15 GMT
silverlining Thank you, that gives me some hope. I wish he lived closer but he's 550 miles away. We have suggested he move near us, since his daughter is also here, but he does have a great deal of community support. This is the area he and MIL were born and raised in. We appreciate the sense of community he has. Plus, DH's cousin made one of her mom move and the poor woman had a stroke in the car.
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Post by Basket1lady on Feb 26, 2017 18:10:23 GMT
What the heck? I was posting on another thread and my post appeared here!
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katybee
Drama Llama
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Post by katybee on Feb 26, 2017 18:32:50 GMT
Have you thought about meals on wheels? I used to deliver for them in college, and delivered to a lot of single, elderly gentleman. And the meals looked pretty darn good.
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Post by lucyg on Feb 26, 2017 20:14:36 GMT
All great ideas. I like the George Foreman grill idea, too. He currently lives rent free in a parsonage as he's still pastoring. But it's got foundation issues and needs other repairs, and it's just too big for him. There's a lot of things to go through before he could move. DH plans to go up after school is out and help with that process. There are Senior apartments and his sister actually lives there. She is helping us to try to convince him to take that option. Then they could share meals and he'd have no maintenance or yard work. He had talked of buying a house and we are trying to dissuade him. The market in their town is awful and he is not in any shape to handle home repairs or upkeep. He has internet, but would do better if something is already made. I like the photo album idea for organizing and keeping clean. We bought DS "A Man, A Can, & A Plan," maybe Dad would like that. He can do basic things. He's just not sure of how to put everything together. I also think he's just more overwhelmed than he admits. He likes to have breakfast with his buddies and he can get MoW's. The town he lives in is in rural S Dakota, so the meal prep place is out of range for him. I like the idea of taking MILs recipes to feed two. Thanks again. I will get started on it. I don't really have anything to add to everyone's good suggestions. Just wanted to say I'm sorry for this sad place in life he's found himself in.  Well, I guess I would add to the 4x6 recipe book idea ... make sure he understands measurements. My mom once had my dad make a simple recipe for her when she had to go out. It called for a pinch of salt. He didn't know what a pinch of salt was, so he decided it was probably an ounce. Needless to say, the recipe was ruined. This is a Harvard-educated lawyer we're talking about.  I don't know how much of that was passive-aggressiveness and how much was true cluelessness, but I would make sure he understands a pinch is a PINCH, a tbsp is 3 tsp, a pint is two cups, a stick of butter is half a cup, LEVEL teaspoons, etc. Maybe just a little chart in the back of the book. |
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Post by mcscrapper on Feb 26, 2017 20:29:33 GMT
My dad is also 77 and been alone for the past 2 years after his wife lost her fight with cancer. While I am lucky I live pretty close and can take him some prepared meals, I do have to keep him in check a little with his meals. He is pre-diabetic but thinks that if he takes the medications the doc prescribed to him, he won't "get diabetes." Hard to teach an old dog new tricks especially in the kitchen.
I would suggest some good meals he can prepare, half and freeze. This worked for my dad and I think he actually enjoyed making the food as it took some time to do and kept him busy.
I know you live far away but maybe when you are there you can show him how to make a few easy items and how to freeze half of each recipe you make. I did this and we really enjoyed our time together. We made a day of it and shopped for all of the ingredients and supplies - freezer bags, aluminum pans, etc. With the casseroles, I put half in one of those square cake pans, covered it with foil and put in a ziplock bag with the heating instructions written on them. I also included the instructions on the recipe sheets I made so he had it in two places.
We made:
taco soup
bake ziti / rigatoni
vegetable soup
chicken spaghetti
chicken pot pie soup
These are all super easy and also fairly cheap to make. I have my own recipes but I've seen similar recipes while combing Pinterest. If you want what I use, I'll be happy to share. He didn't have to do a whole lot when he made the freezer meals - just a salad or made some bread or something to go with it. It was pretty easy overall but just took some time.
If he is tech savvy at all, maybe you could do an electronic recipe book for him and post pics of the meals.
And I agree...cancer does suck.
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Post by mcscrapper on Feb 26, 2017 20:35:11 GMT
Meant to add....
maybe this can be a good opportunity for you two to keep in touch each week, too. Maybe help him with some meal planning. I do this with my dad. He is a single dude but LOVES to shop at Sam's and Costco and likes to buy in bulk. I really had to prove to him that him buying in bulk does NOT save him money at all because he was either not using all of it or it would expire. It was also really easy for him to buy all of these pre-packaged meals which were horribly high in sodium and/or sugars. He just wasn't getting it.
Now I do my online coupons and help him with his too. Whether or not he uses them, I don't know for sure but he says he does.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 26, 2017 21:13:55 GMT
If he lives in a small rural SD town I am betting he is going to be taken care of for awhile from the community. ha. Usually the MOWs is a very good option. People will bring food. Train him to freeze parts of it. As most will be too much.
Where does he live? I am from a very small MN town on the SD border.
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Post by bc2ca on Feb 26, 2017 21:44:52 GMT
My dad was effectively doing all the meals for a couple of years before mom's dementia reached the point she couldn't be at home. He had a monthly menu that he would write on the calendar just to keep track of alternating proteins and vegetables. He liked to cook proteins once a month and baked beef, ham, pork and chicken breasts in an afternoon, sliced and portioned them, sealed with a food saver and froze them. In the morning, he'd pull out whatever protein was listed for the day and defrost it in the fridge. He'd boil his potato and microwave whatever other vegetable was in the rotation. About once a week he eats at my sister's house and has to put up with whatever "fancy" meal she is preparing (you know, something exotic like spaghetti & meatballs with a salad  ). One of the main reasons he decided to sell the house and move into a senior community when mom moved into fulltime care was because he didn't want to cook for one. He has a fully functioning apartment and usually prepares his own breakfast and eats in the dining room for lunch or dinner. Your FIL is lucky to have a sister nearby and I'd gentlely encourage him to look at the senior housing. Cooking for one and eating alone will be one of the most difficult transitions for him and a reminder of what he has lost. |
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My heart hurts for him.
).