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Post by Anita on Aug 18, 2014 2:19:20 GMT
My daughter leaves for college on Wednesday. I'm not handling it very well. I'm so excited for her, but just so sad that I won't see her every day. I'm so lucky that she'll only be 1 1/2 hours away. She just left to go tell her best friend goodbye. He's leaving tomorrow morning for his college. They've been best friends for the last 5 or 6 years, and just knowing how sad she is to say goodbye to him made me cry the minute she walked out the door. I can only imagine how hard Wednesday is going to be for us!
My family is going through so much right now - my mom just finished cancer treatment, now my uncle was diagnosed with cancer too. My DH was laid off from his job 2 weeks ago. Even without all of that, I would have a tough time with my daughter leaving, but I'm already emotional.
I'm really hoping that I can hold back the tears until after I drop her off at the school. My tears would make it harder on her. My goodness - where did the time go, it seems like she just started Kindergarten!
Just had to get that off my chest.
Anita
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 18, 2014 2:23:39 GMT
Mine went last year and kept coming home on weekends! Ugh. I get your sense of loss though. Most parents struggle at first and then seem to ease into it and appreciate it. Hopefully you will get there sooner than later. I remember my mom putting on a very brave face and then several weeks later a friend on my dorm floor remembered her crying in the elevator. Now that broke MY heart. I am sure I was her favorite child.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
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Post by janeliz on Aug 18, 2014 2:24:09 GMT
That's so tough. I'm sorry. You're already in a fragile place, and now you have this huge, emotionally charged event ahead. That would bring anyone down.
Hang in there. ((Hugs))
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 18, 2014 2:24:53 GMT
I have 5 years and while I know it'll happen, I think I'll stick my head in the sand
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caro
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Post by caro on Aug 18, 2014 2:27:14 GMT
I 'm sorry. I so remember those days of kids leaving for college, getting married, moving out of state. It's hard but it will get better.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 18, 2014 2:27:29 GMT
As a fellow mom who just sent her first born off to college TODAY (I said my goodbyes yesterday as his dad is taking him to his college) I completely and totally understand.
I was a giant puddle of mommy mush yesterday and today I have been wandering around as if I lost my best friend. I can't seem to settle into doing a single chore all the way through without getting up and starting something new. I am just lost.
Gentle hugs to you...
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mlana
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Post by mlana on Aug 18, 2014 2:35:32 GMT
My DD's started college last year and it was so hard to not just let her go but to encourage and buoy her up as she prepared to leave. I sat down and gave myself a stern talking to one night and I memorized a speech to say when I would start getting upset. When she'd turn around and I would be on the verge of tears, I'd tell her that I was so glad she was going on this adventure, that I was so proud of her for doing what needed to be done to ensure her venture was a success, and that I knew she was going to do well. But I'd say, she was an awesome person that I loved to be around and I was going to miss her and her awesomeness. I must have said this or some variation of it a thousand times before I left her at her dorm.
She called me about an hour after I left and told me that I was awesome, too, and she was going to miss me and my awesomeness. I cried all the way home.
Marcy
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Post by Anita on Aug 18, 2014 2:38:41 GMT
Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate the support. I really am excited for her, I'm just so emotional.
Anita
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Post by shanni on Aug 18, 2014 2:39:00 GMT
My DD's started college last year and it was so hard to not just let her go but to encourage and buoy her up as she prepared to leave. I sat down and gave myself a stern talking to one night and I memorized a speech to say when I would start getting upset. When she'd turn around and I would be on the verge of tears, I'd tell her that I was so glad she was going on this adventure, that I was so proud of her for doing what needed to be done to ensure her venture was a success, and that I knew she was going to do well. But I'd say, she was an awesome person that I loved to be around and I was going to miss her and her awesomeness. I must have said this or some variation of it a thousand times before I left her at her dorm. She called me about an hour after I left and told me that I was awesome, too, and she was going to miss me and my awesomeness. I cried all the way home. Marcy That is the sweetest thing I've heard all day! TFS! |
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Post by Sassenach on Aug 18, 2014 2:41:38 GMT
You have a lot going on right now. Go ahead and cry a little. Tears are meant to be released. Hugs to you.
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Mystie
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Post by Mystie on Aug 18, 2014 2:44:46 GMT
That's a lot of emotion to be carrying around. Let yourself cry when you need to! I hope your DD has a great year at college and that you both adjust quickly. (((Hugs!)))
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Post by newfcathy on Aug 18, 2014 2:55:37 GMT
Ds heads off on Monday. Even he will only be 2 hours away.... He is an only child.
I know just how you feel.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by lgr4 on Aug 18, 2014 2:58:28 GMT
It will be hard, but you can be tough! You're a mom--thats what we do (even when we don't want to)!!!!!
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Post by spitfiregirl on Aug 18, 2014 3:19:28 GMT
I feel your pain. I went to the beach today because I couldn't bare to watch my son pack and leave.... So sad to come home to an empty place. But I know it's for the best for him.
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Post by worrywart on Aug 18, 2014 3:25:14 GMT
I totally understand. Ds leaves Wednesday and the thing that stinks is we both have been sick in the last few weeks and now I have bronchitis or something and feel like crap and don't want to touch or hug him cause I don't want him to catch it. I am going to miss him SO much. He is my running buddy.
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eastcoastpea
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Post by eastcoastpea on Aug 18, 2014 3:46:16 GMT
I know when that happens here I'm going to be a mess. Hugs to you.
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Post by kristalina on Aug 18, 2014 4:10:42 GMT
Both of mine leave this month. We got the first settled in to her new place on the 10th, the other goes on the 24th. I well up at the drop of a hat right now. bittersweet for sure.
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oaksong
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Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Aug 18, 2014 4:21:15 GMT
These threads are bringing tears to my eyes as I think about my last one leaving for college next year. Hugs to you...
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Post by flanz on Aug 18, 2014 4:22:38 GMT
Hugs to all of you mommas on this threshold or who have just said your goodbyes. It is definitely an emotionally charged time.
Our kids are now both out of college. Both went far away, meaning we only saw them Parent's Weekend in October, one came home for Thanksgiving, the other did not, at Christmas Break and Spring Break, and the first two summers.
I had an Eastern European mom who had a really tough time letting go of the proverbial apron strings and so I worked really hard not to do that to our kids. And the nest emptying was not tough as I thought it might be. I kept focusing on the fact that our job as parents is to raise kids who are independent and confident out in the world. We asked them to call us on Sunday evenings for the first few months and sat on our hands when we wanted to pick up the phone to call them, or send emails. We really let them know that we love them and were here for them, but that we were going to let them initiate contact. And we did a good job of that. However much you miss them, please don't be helicopter parents. Let them miss you a little bit, let them make their own decisions and solve their own problems to the extent that you can. Most of our young kids heading to college really need that freedom and chance to grow up and learn what they are capable of.
Hugs to all of you. You can do this!
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inkedup
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Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Aug 18, 2014 4:30:30 GMT
Sending you big, fat hugs. You must be wiped out with all that you've been dealing with. I hope the time between tomorrow and your daughter's first trip home passes quickly and that your mom is done with chemo for good. I hope your uncle'a treaent is successful, too.
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Post by jenn on Aug 18, 2014 5:05:20 GMT
My DD's started college last year and it was so hard to not just let her go but to encourage and buoy her up as she prepared to leave. I sat down and gave myself a stern talking to one night and I memorized a speech to say when I would start getting upset. When she'd turn around and I would be on the verge of tears, I'd tell her that I was so glad she was going on this adventure, that I was so proud of her for doing what needed to be done to ensure her venture was a success, and that I knew she was going to do well. But I'd say, she was an awesome person that I loved to be around and I was going to miss her and her awesomeness. I must have said this or some variation of it a thousand times before I left her at her dorm. She called me about an hour after I left and told me that I was awesome, too, and she was going to miss me and my awesomeness. I cried all the way home. Marcy I LOVE this and I am going to memorize it for next week. |
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PLurker
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Post by PLurker on Aug 18, 2014 5:52:32 GMT
My DD is a HS senior this year and I already can feel the tears coming if I let my mind go there. I'll miss her a bunch! Have to say, I think she'll miss me too. Life goes on (just a bit too fast) Here's to a great life for our little fly-aways!
Swim Goldie, swim! Fly Goldie, fly! (anyone get that reference besides me and above mentioned DD?)
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Post by alibama on Aug 18, 2014 17:20:18 GMT
This thread made me tear up and my kids are both grown up and gone already. It was so hard. It has been four years and it is still hard to look at those empty rooms.
{{{{HUGS}}}} to all of you that are going through this right now.
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Post by peasful1 on Aug 18, 2014 17:31:23 GMT
Aw. It's hard. We've had these little people all to ourselves for years and years. And then they start growing up and there is no going back with the endgame being a life of their own. It's a sad and disarming change. It's ok to feel it. My son leaves next year. I get you. I'm already feeling it.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 18, 2014 17:32:18 GMT
That has to be hard. I am not yet ready for my kids to leave and I doubt I'll be ready when they are 18 either. I secretly hope they go to community college for a couple of years before they head off, both to save money and so that they won't leave me....lol...
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oh yvonne
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Post by oh yvonne on Aug 18, 2014 17:33:33 GMT
awww, <hugs!>
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Deleted
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Oct 9, 2024 18:19:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2014 18:33:07 GMT
{{{{ hugs }}}}
I was in your shoes 2 years ago. Like you, my daughter is only 1.5 hours away. She ended being available to come home quite a bit. And she called me a lot, along with text messages and facebook posts/IM. So maybe you're daughter will do the same?
This year, as a Junior, her schedule is much busier with the introduction of a internship hours in addition to class/work hours. And it's spread out in a way that will make coming home on the weekends harder/not as doable, so I anticipate we won't see much of her until Thanksgiving and then Christmas break.
Be kind to yourself! This is a tough transition time for everyone in the family.
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Deleted
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Oct 9, 2024 18:19:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2014 18:37:00 GMT
My DD's started college last year and it was so hard to not just let her go but to encourage and buoy her up as she prepared to leave. I sat down and gave myself a stern talking to one night and I memorized a speech to say when I would start getting upset. When she'd turn around and I would be on the verge of tears, I'd tell her that I was so glad she was going on this adventure, that I was so proud of her for doing what needed to be done to ensure her venture was a success, and that I knew she was going to do well. But I'd say, she was an awesome person that I loved to be around and I was going to miss her and her awesomeness. I must have said this or some variation of it a thousand times before I left her at her dorm. She called me about an hour after I left and told me that I was awesome, too, and she was going to miss me and my awesomeness. I cried all the way home. Marcy Nice job Mom! And I too cried ALL.THE.WAY.HOME. God love him, my dh took one look at me as I walked in the door (he had come and left, with our son earlier in the afternoon) and said "I guess we're getting pizza tonight." |
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Post by mdoc on Aug 18, 2014 18:43:37 GMT
Good luck on Wednesday; I hope for your daughter's sake that you can hold it together until she's out the door. Mine left last Wednesday for her junior year. Knowing that she's thriving while at school 12 hours away makes it easier to see her go. It is amazing how quickly they grow up!! I hope things will be looking up for your family soon.
ETA: Re-reading this, it sounds a little harsh. Not intended that way at all.
I know how hard it is to let them go!
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Post by flanz on Aug 18, 2014 20:16:06 GMT
I replied earlier, but just saw an article posted on Huffington Post today: 7 Ways To Survive The College Transition www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-pace/college-transition_b_5661223.htmlHere is the last portion of the blog post: Here's what I've learned from having two kids dare to move on after high school and do quite well despite all my attempts to keep them needy and dependent on their mom. Syllabus on Letting Go of Your Kid 101:1. Give them space. Let them establish communication and be okay with how often or how little they make the effort. (You will be surprised at how frequently they want to talk to you now.) 2. Understand that your role is changing. Setting rules now gives way to establishing expectations that they learn to be healthy, independent thinkers and doers. 3. Ask how classes are going, but don't demand a report on grades. Simply let them know if they are flunking they should tell you, otherwise let it be. (To this day I have never asked about college grades from my kids.) 4. Don't respond to every Facebook photo they post. Believe me, they aren't posting that photo for your benefit anyway. 5. Show them you are independent from them. Like a clingy boyfriend, parental neediness is unattractive. Explore one new thing for yourself now that your brain isn't completely consumed with being their parent. Being too busy to immediately answer a phone call or text from them because you're too engaged being you again sends them a great message about navigating changes in life. 6. Reinvent their bedroom. This doesn't have to be a major overhaul. Ease your way into it by getting a new comforter or pictures that you like. Think about a new paint color. You'll be looking at that room far more than they will from now on. 7. Send a care package. Include a simple note that says enjoy. You'll have fun gathering some of their favorite items. They'll appreciate the goods and that it came without any parenting strings or advice attached. Don't do this often as it defeats [HASH]5. Bad news: this isn't an easy class. Good news: Embrace your kid by letting go. You'll see that college can be an incredible journey. Who knows, your kid might even enjoy it, to Hope this is helpful to at least some of you. hugs. |
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