In Law Vent... Or why can some people never be on time?

My sister in law is a saint, because my parents are like that and she's able to brush it off much more easily than my brother or I can. My mother made them both almost late to my brother's wedding. It was a simple ceremony on the beach, so it wasn't quite as noticeable as it might have been in another venue, but it wasn't great. This involved a simple trip across town.

It took a few years, but my MIL now understands that when I say dinner is at 6, that means we will begin eating at 6. If she chooses to be late, that does not mean everyone has to eat cold food. She, on the other hand, will make everyone eat cold, dry food because she has to wait for everyone to arrive. My bil and his wife arrive as close to mealtime as possible so they don't have to help out.

DH's family makes me crazy. No concept of time. So many Christmas Eve meals eaten cold and dry waiting for them. Being late to functions (we started taking our own vehicle). So rude. I feel for you.

yup my SIL is the same way. Although Dh's cousins aren't particularly known for promptness either.So now we always plan an hour ahead. We have teased them about it as well. It drives me batty though on holidays and special occasions. Totally understand your frustration!

It's always a toss up at our house which will annoy us more that day.....his parents who show up like 2 hours early, or mine who show up an hour late. We don't host many occasions but it usually really starts to bug me during sports season, I know I should be grateful my parents travel almost an hour (sometimes more if it's away) to watch them play, but why they can't seem to get their sh!t together and get there before the game starts is beyond me. I don't bother saving seats any more, somehow they've managed to get lucky and sit with us but at some point that won't happen. and dh will be thrilled when that occurs because they like to chit chat during the game and it drives him straight up the wall

Totally off topic but this drives me straight up the wall too.  My mother would want to talk about this or that or about people I have no idea she is talking about DURING THE GAME.  I'm like, "I'm trying to watch the game."  She didn't get it.  Now I go down to the sidelines and take pics during the games and I don't have to talk to anyone.  

About being on time tho....my exH is this way.  He just doesn't get that people make plans to eat at a specific time and just showed up whenever he felt like it.  Probably one reason he is an ex.  For our dd's 16th b'day we planned to eat at 5pm because it was a Sunday evening before a work and school week and she wanted her out of town cousins to be there.  They have an almost 2 hour drive to and from so didn't want to keep them too late.  I told and texted him the whole itinerary about everyone was getting there around 3 and we would eat at 5 and have cake and celebrations at 6pm so everyone could be on the road to go by 8 at the latest.  He kept saying he would bring XYZ to contribute to the meal and would be there by 5.  He didn't get there until 6 and was mad that we started w/out him.  I was fuming mad. FUMING!  
He just can't ever seem to be on time for anything - ever.  For soccer games, I would have to tell him at least 30 mins earlier than we really had to be there otherwise we'd be 30 mins late every single time.  I am rarely, if ever late for anything but being late for a planned meal is just unacceptable and totally inconsiderate of others esp the hostess that is planning for all of the food to be ready at X time.  Rude!  


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Ugh. I always feel like people who do that are valuing their very minor whims and conveniences over your time.

Anyhow, I agree that I would want to eat dinner at my normal time and just keep their portion to reheat when they arrived, but I also know my inlaws would be angry if I did that . My inlaws arrive on a plane these days, which has helped--planes have schedules.

My DH is that guy who struggles to be on time and I hate being late for anything, so we sort of balance out. We regularly traveled to a lake cabin that in his head was a 3 hour trip. It was 3 hours to the town nearest the cabin and another hour to the cabin. The first hour of the trip was always in big city rush hour traffic and easily took twice as long, so add another hour. DH had two regular stops on the way for coffee/gas breaks. Each stop is a minimum 20 minutes. Even if we left at 5 and didn't arrive until almost midnight, he would consider it a 3 hour trip.

At least they texted you so you could get the kids fed.

My parents could travel 12 hours and make a meal on time. My SIL couldn't make it under two hours and make it on time. It wasn't that they couldn't leave on time. They had to shop their way here. So meals could be 2 hours late. I stopped waiting. I told them when the meal would be served and if they were going to be late they could have leftovers or eat before they came. I have absolutely no patience for late people. Almost all of the time if you are late it is a choice. You know there will be traffic, a possible accident, or a sick kid. Plan for it. I was told that I would finally understand when I had kids. Nope. Still was on time.