When a toddler is too attached to mommy

The first thing that has to stop is the temper tantrums. She can be mad, but she can not hurt people. No hitting. No slamming your head into people. With a child like this, it can actually be easier to stop. When the child acts up, the mom takes away her attention. Baby slaps? mom puts her in down and walks away. If child follows and continues to hit, mom puts baby on chair and walks away. If child won't stay on chair and tantrum continues, child goes to bedroom with door shut. Mom walks away until tantrum is over. It can take a bit depending on how determined the child is, but removing attention is the very best method I've found for toddler tantrums. They don't do logic so you can't explain. the tantrum is for attention, so take it away until they learn that the behavior doesn't get them the desired result.

The socialization aspect is harder. It has to be done slowly, but it can be done. I don't have advice for this part. Because the behavior is so extreme Becca may want to take her to a child psychologist to get some advice and help. Also to have Baby tested for a LD that might be affecting her ability to socialize.

I think that kind of attachment to mommy is pretty typical for that age. Just be consistent with the reactions to the behaviors.

" DD throws fits if she doesn't get her way and slaps mom and bangs her head against mom."

This needs to be shut down immediately.  DD needs to be isolated safely as soon as she acts aggressively against mom or anyone else.  Firmly told "No", then put in a time out, where she doesn't get any attention, cannot harm others, yet is still safely supervised.  They need to set aside a space with baby gates or some other restrictions.  Harming mommy has to have the consequence of no attention until the tantrum is over.

Years ago, my then 16 month old popped up from the ground, crashing his head into my jaw as I was leaning over, unintentionally, just jumping.  He hit me at a vulnerable spot and gave me severe TMJ for over a year. I ate blender food and applesauce and yogurt.   Skulls are wicked hard, and can cause a lot of damage.

At 22 months children don't play with each other parallel play is more common at that development stage.

If mom &dad work then I guess I wouldn't find it abnormal for some children to have separation anxiety and cling to mom.

I think creating a monster is a tad bit dramatic.

Maybe the temper tantrums are a way of expressing herself when she doesn't have the ability to communicate in any other way. Pretty normal but don't feed it. Let her figure out how to self comfort herself. We had a soft toy dog - we called it a lovey.

All moms are exhausted with little ones.

All quite normal - maybe mom can leave the little one with grandma for a day to get a break.

When ours tried hitting in frustration, we told them "You do not hit". or "No hitting." or just "No!" depending on their age, and if it continued, we put them in their crib, but stayed in the room, and reminded them that hitting wasn't okay.

We did it every time. (During the baby/toddler years. When they were older and could rationalize more, we did different things for the one who had a hitting phase.)

It was annoying, but they did get the message. One got it very quickly. One took a lot more time. I got used to sitting in the room with that one.

When my youngest dd was that age, she would barely go to dad, let alone grandma/friends/aunts. She just HATED being around other people. She would cry when we pulled into grandma's driveway and cling to me the entire time we were there. Drove me batty! And poor MIL was so sad, she just loves her grandbabies! It was a phase, and by the time she was 3 1/2 she loved grandma! I just tried to be calm and reassuring about family members and not make a big deal out of it. If dd saw that I (or the family members) were getting stressed, that just reinforced to her that there was something to be stressed about.

As far as the temper tantrums go, I think that's pretty typical two year old behavior as well. They don't call them the terrible twos for nothing! That doesn't mean that the behavior shouldn't be corrected. When she tries to bang her head, put her down and firmly say no, that hurts mommy. If she tries to hit, firmly but gently grab her hand and say no hitting. When she starts throwing a tantrum, put her down in a safe place and walk away, telling her that when she can settle down she can come out.

Above all, try not to let your dd feel like she has created a monster. There is enough guilt in motherhood without feeling it coming from our own mothers as well. (Not saying you are doing this at all, I just remember every time dd would throw a fit in front of my mom I like I was a horrible mother. My mom never said anything, but that's how I felt. One of the best compliments I ever received from my mom is when she told me I was doing a great job with my kids.) Let dd know that she is in a really tough stage with her little one and that this too shall pass.