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Post by hop2 on Mar 28, 2017 1:28:24 GMT
Lately I have a bad habit of allowing my emotions to color my communications- ( personal not business ) and when I try to remove the negative emotions from the communication it still seems to come off almost abrupt. In the past I've been able to write it out and come back and edit it. Lately I just can't seem to come to the point where anything is acceptable.
There have been some things people have done lately that have been very disappointing but I know it wasn't done purposefully or with bad intent. Perhaps without thought but not with bad intent. Never the less, my being abrupt in a reply because I'm trying to mask my disappointment won't help. Neither will expressing my disappointment serve any purpose but to possibly hurt their feelings as well.
Any tips or pointers?
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Post by getting started on Mar 28, 2017 2:02:25 GMT
I find being honest helps. Rather than being abrupt try saying that you were surprised/frustrated/hurt/etc when ...
Give them a chance to respond, then change the subject. I am the same as you, when I have something like that on my mind I come off as abrupt and I find it helps to try to be more casual in my tone after that initial conversation and it lightens it a bit.
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Post by mom on Mar 28, 2017 2:06:56 GMT
I agree....be honest about your feelings. But then let it go.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Mar 28, 2017 2:10:05 GMT
When I need to email my ex and he has pissed me off... Happens way to frequently.!! I pretend I am writing to a business colleague. I include pleasantries and then I explain what I need, why I need it, and by when. Then I thank him for his time. Work 78.3% of the time. I usually tell him to fuck off in my head!  |
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Post by hop2 on Mar 28, 2017 2:29:30 GMT
With my friends I can be honest but with acquaintances and people involved in activities I find it difficult to be honest. If they actually cared how I felt then I wouldn't be in the position of being hurt or disappointed. So burdening them with my honesty doesn't seem productive.
And of course I've got tons of other crap going on and over time at work and graduation and personal crap. So I'm already overwhelmed and stressed.
Oh well, I guess abrupt, sticking to the facts is better than snarky & bitchy & a thanks so much for being thoughtless
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Post by beebee on Mar 28, 2017 3:05:04 GMT
I always try to hold back on communicating until I can control my emotions. Sometimes that means waiting for a day or two before I talk to someone about a certain touchy subject, but a little time always helps me to gain that control needed.
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Post by lucyg on Mar 28, 2017 3:21:49 GMT
I imagine you are feeling kind of overwhelmed by life right now. Is there any extraneous stuff you can cut out that will help expose you less to annoying, thoughtless people? Volunteer work, committees, etc.?
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 28, 2017 3:34:14 GMT
I read and reread and then sometimes ask another opinion.
Also if it is truly upsetting, I find email to be a bad way to communicate
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Post by hop2 on Mar 28, 2017 3:38:55 GMT
Your right Lucy I am overwhelmed. But all my extra 'stuff' ends this weekend. Then it's only all the grad stuff for DS. The ok give it a few days and take a few deep breaths
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Post by lucyg on Mar 28, 2017 16:08:05 GMT
Be sure to take care of yourself, not just everyone else. I know that sounds cliched, but you probably need to hear it now and again.  |
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Post by annabella on Mar 28, 2017 16:11:11 GMT
Always wait a day to respond to emails.
Have someone else read your draft first.
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