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Oct 10, 2024 10:24:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2014 0:47:18 GMT
I don't know how to deal with this so I am going to ask you. Please answer as honestly as you can. If you have a lot of anger in your heart and it is eating you up inside how do you deal with it? It is time for me to say my before dinner prayers. I just can't go and proclaim my faith and be this angry inside.
What do you do when you have this kind of feeling inside? I need to know how to deal with this.
Thank you,
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Post by scrapqueen01 on Aug 23, 2014 0:56:15 GMT
I'm a Christian so praying and admitting my anger to God helps. Also talking to a trusted friend is a big help. Sometimes talking to a professional is needed. Never be afraid to see a counselor to help you get to the root of the anger.
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Post by annabella on Aug 23, 2014 1:08:28 GMT
Quotes from my favorite Christian author Lysa Terkeurst
Forgiveness is mandatory; reconciliation is optional. Think about pursuing soul integrity and carefully watching your words. You can face things that are out of your control and not act out of control. We won't develop new responses until we develop new thoughts. Stop rehashing things and turn the page afresh. Ask God for a better perspective to help you see good even when you don't feel good. Because acting out of control only adds to your troubles. Labels only stick if you let them. Exploding will only make you feel awful in the long term. But don't trade your unhealthy exploding for unhealthy stuffing. Remember your tongue is powerful so begin by honoring the one offended. Giving honor reveals more about your character. Keep your response short and full of grace. For now, why not be the rare person who offers love to this hard to love person. Not everything needs a response. Choosing a gentle reply doesn't mean you're weak; actually means you possess a rare godly strength. The one who holds their tongue is the one who holds the power, by responding with rage you transfer your power to the other person. You don't want to be more immature than your kids. You can't control the other person. Ask God to help you hold back your explosions and let him work on fixing that person.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090 
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Post by scrapaddie on Aug 23, 2014 1:24:14 GMT
You have already gotten some good advice .... Anger will only hurt you... Without knowing the specifics...
First, I ask god for help.. And then I search for something positive to do. I was very angry when my not so dh left.... But I looked for ways to make others happy.... I began a card class for seniors in assisted living... It redirected my energy and gave me a lot of pleasure. Was I justified in my anger? Of course! But the anger hurt me more than anyone...
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Post by Regina Phalange on Aug 23, 2014 1:50:02 GMT
I think a therapist would be more help.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 23, 2014 2:12:26 GMT
I'll respond as an 'Other'. As a non-Christian I don't have guidelines (like those great ones Annabella posted) to follow but I don't allow other people to wreck my peace and happiness. Not to say that if something happened in the afternoon I wouldn't still be angry at dinner time but I would, as soon as possible, put the anger and the person 'behind' me and go on with life. But I do it for me, not because a religious entity is going to frown if I don't. I just don't want other people's actions to make my life unpleasant.
I do hope you get a resolution to the difficulty.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 23, 2014 4:35:41 GMT
I'm a huge advocate of finding a great therapist to help you work through your issues w/anger. Something happened that caused you to feel angry and that warrants you being heard, exploring the situation(s) and finding a way to work it through and heal. Anger can be healthy, but it can also rule the place. That's not healthy. I don't rely on G-d for my emotions. My belief is that G-d created emotions, but it's up to me to express them in a way that is good for me. You can work though this and get it off of your plate. I wish you the best.
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Post by miominmio on Aug 23, 2014 5:26:14 GMT
Anger can be part of a healing process, and it can be the natural response to something going on in your life. The problem is when you become stuck in it for too long. Identifying why you are angry, is the first step to overcome it. In my religion, being angry isn't shameful, but it isn't exactly something to be celebrated either. If it's a problem for you and you're not able to work thru it yourself, maybe a therapist of some kind might be able to help you?
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Aug 23, 2014 13:06:00 GMT
I'm a Christian so praying and admitting my anger to God helps. Also talking to a trusted friend is a big help. Sometimes talking to a professional is needed. Never be afraid to see a counselor to help you get to the root of the anger. This. As a Catholic, confessing our sins to our priest is part of the healing process. While I don't partake in the sacrament of Confession personally, I do find I feel better confessing my anger to God on my own. I also find talking to a friend is a big help. Sometimes just having someone say, "Yeah, I totally get why you're angry. You have every right to feel that way." is enough to start being able to move on. And counseling is never a bad thing. BTW, nice quotes annabella! |
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Aug 23, 2014 13:38:48 GMT
When I'm angry at a person, it helps me to physically remove myself from our shared space, at least for a little while. I'll vent it privately, and then I'll make an effort to prioritize. I can't change the other person, so I'll change myself, right? I change my thinking. I prioritize. What is my goal, and how important is the situation with this person in relation to my goal?
I also ask myself, is there any way I can blame "the situation" rather than the person, to excuse the person's actions in order to begin to forgive? Would he/she have upset me if it weren't for these extenuating circumstances? You have to be careful with this one, because abusive people will try to manipulate you with it. But it's a valid question and it helps you to begin to see the other person's point of view.
Now, if I'm angered by the unfairness of a situation rather than a person, I'm not sure I have an answer for you. I have a chronically ill child, and while I admit to feeling anger at the unfairness of it early on, I found it was largely a waste of my energy and it did nothing to help my DD. I had to stop feeding my anger any attention. My anger served no purpose except to divert my attention from my family. I just had to stop.
On one of the divorce threads awhile ago, a very wise Pea suggested scheduling some time to wallow in the anger and the pity and all the negative feelings, and then stop. Just stop. Put it away and don't give it any more attention until the next scheduled time, so it won't consume your life. I think that advice makes a lot of sense. I hope you find peace.
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Post by tuva42 on Aug 23, 2014 23:53:14 GMT
Is she angry at God?
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Post by gonewalkabout on Aug 24, 2014 0:20:57 GMT
Anger can be so hard to deal with. I will say forgiveness. I'll also say that saying and doing are two very different things. It's hard to do! No question.
Forgiveness is ultimately for yourself, to help free yourself of anger. God wants us to forgive for that reason, because all it does is hurt us, it stops the healing process and He doesn't want us holding onto harmful baggage.
Sometimes that healing process can take some time, sometimes it requires others to come into your life (like counselors or understanding friends) in order to do that.
What it has come down to in my life is deciding if I want someone else to continue to dictate how I am going to feel right now. Am I going to allow that person to continually mess up my day? Giving the issue and anger up to God every day has helped me. Forgiving on a daily basis, and deciding that how I will feel is my decision. Also forgiving someone doesn't mean forgetting. It just means that you can move on without the hurt and pain that has been dealt to you.
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Post by BuckeyeSandy on Aug 24, 2014 1:59:03 GMT
Anger is neither good or bad, it is energy that is blocked. Block it too long and it becomes rage. What is the situation that has you "angry"? Can YOU (personally) do anything about it? Anger is energy, it is the energy to "change the world" or just your little corner of it. Used well, it can save lives, allowed to "explode," it kills and maims.
Sometimes being able to find the best person to talk to about this is a hit or miss. I have had a couple spiritual advisers/confessors than were very good at helping me, and at other times in my life, a clinician was a better match.
One actual activity that HAS HELPED ME, house cleaning. I mean the old fashioned, floor scrubbing, hands and knees, whole body deep cleaning a floor, or the shower or the base boards type of cleaning. I want to "DO." I have energy that I am almost bouncing. I can take my anger out on the dirt and crud. And when spent, there is a sense that something productive happened.
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