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Post by psoccer on Jun 1, 2017 22:26:32 GMT
My husband just called and asked me to agree to do this. I have no one to talk to about this. We have three children at home, and they all need to go to college. His daughter and her husband got arrested almost two weeks ago. She got out, but her husband is still in jail, and needs bail. They seemed to be very normal people, they have jobs, two cute boys, and are in their thirties but alcohol got involved and I guess his behavior changes. Nobody was killed or injured, but I don't want to say much more. They put their house up, but we have more equity so they want us to sign our house over to a bondsman. I don't have much of a relationship with either, we see them at Christmas and maybe one other time. Obviously since this is his child he wants to do this now to get her husband out. I asked why his parents couldn't do it, and he said it was because they were going through a divorce. Is this really no big deal? I know if he shows up to court we get our house, but I don't want to worry about what he is doing. Please tell me the good and bad so I can make an informed decision when he gets home.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 1, 2017 22:29:15 GMT
ABSOLUTELY FREAKING NEVER EVER EVER!
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Post by christine58 on Jun 1, 2017 22:29:24 GMT
Nope...
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jun 1, 2017 22:30:06 GMT
Hell no!
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
RefuPea #1406
Posts: 2,648
Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Jun 1, 2017 22:31:28 GMT
Hell No!
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Post by smokeynspike on Jun 1, 2017 22:31:43 GMT
NO. And not just no, but hell no, not ever!!!
The only person I would do that for would be my husband, but only because he has a direct interest in showing up and not getting our home taken away from us. For anyone else, including our only child, there is no way that I would agree to do that. You just can't control other people and their actions, and whether they show up or not, and I'm not willing to put my own hard earned home on the line.
I think it goes back to the "never do business with family" adage because you can get taken advantage of very, very quickly.
Melissa
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jun 1, 2017 22:32:08 GMT
No way! I'm sorry that he put you in this position, but his adult child cannot take control of your family.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,949 
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Post by scrapngranny on Jun 1, 2017 22:33:02 GMT
ABSOLUTELY FREAKING NEVER!!
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Post by Zee on Jun 1, 2017 22:33:48 GMT
Never in a million years. She's out, she can take over. I can't imagine what the hell they both did to have bail so high it needs two houses...No.
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Post by LilyRose on Jun 1, 2017 22:35:12 GMT
Hell to the no.
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Post by disneypal on Jun 1, 2017 22:39:03 GMT
No! No! A million times NO! I would never do that!
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
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Post by ginacivey on Jun 1, 2017 22:39:04 GMT
this is going to cause a rift in your marriage - either way you go
for me...it really would depend on my relationship with the arrested and the charges
if he's dealing drugs - it's a no go
from the details you mentioned - it sounds like a domestic case
or a weapons charge
but that's awfully high bond for just that
gina
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Post by jenjie on Jun 1, 2017 22:39:22 GMT
I'm sorry. But no.
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 1, 2017 22:40:26 GMT
I didn't even need to read your post to say HELL NO! The only way I would do that was if I got arrested.
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Post by jemmls4 on Jun 1, 2017 22:40:29 GMT
Oh HELL TO THE NO!
Never, ever in a million years would I ever do that. Just say no.
Their mess, they need to clean it up. Do NOT back down.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jun 1, 2017 22:41:06 GMT
Not just no, but HELL FUCKING NO.
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Post by psoccer on Jun 1, 2017 22:41:15 GMT
this is going to cause a rift in your marriage - either way you go for me...it really would depend on my relationship with the arrested and the charges if he's dealing drugs - it's a no go from the details you mentioned - it sounds like a domestic case or a weapons charge but that's awfully high bond for just that gina It does have to do with weapons. It just make me sick, because yes, it is going to cause a huge rift if I say no. |
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
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Post by marimoose on Jun 1, 2017 22:41:19 GMT
NO. And not just no, but hell no, not ever!!!The only person I would do that for would be my husband, but only because he has a direct interest in showing up and not getting our home taken away from us. For anyone else, including our only child, there is no way that I would agree to do that. You just can't control other people and their actions, and whether they show up or not, and I'm not willing to put my own hard earned home on the line. I think it goes back to the "never do business with family" adage because you can get taken advantage of very, very quickly. Melissa  |
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Post by myboysnme on Jun 1, 2017 22:41:53 GMT
No. The only person I would put up my house for is my husband or my sons IF they were completely innocent of whatever they were in for. It sounds like your husband's daughter and her husband did something that landed them in jail.
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scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,307
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Post by scrappinghappy on Jun 1, 2017 22:42:19 GMT
No way! Not for anyone. He has no vested interst in your house so why should he care
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jun 1, 2017 22:42:36 GMT
In this case, absolutely not. They got into this mess as adults, they have a house of their own to make those decisions with, they can do it on their own. Not worth putting your mortgage and credit and financial security on the line for.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 3,410
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Post by TXMary on Jun 1, 2017 22:43:09 GMT
Absolutely not. Ever. Never.
No way in hell.
Nope.
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
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Post by marimoose on Jun 1, 2017 22:43:19 GMT
Looks like we are all in agreement. They got themselves in a pickle and now they need to get THEMSELVES out. I would not risk my own family's future on them. NEVER!
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Post by epeanymous on Jun 1, 2017 22:43:38 GMT
No. No no no, no.
I don't give legal advice on the internet, and this is not legal advice. But if the bail is high enough that you need to put your home equity down as collateral, these aren't minor charges and/or this isn't the first time they've been in trouble with the law. Bail is supposed to reflect two things -- community dangerousness and risk of flight (which is really just the risk they won't show up for court, not literally that they are going to flee the jurisdiction). It isn't impossible, but it would be unusual, that people who have strong family ties who have no criminal history who haven't done much of anything would have a bail high enough that you'd need to finance it. I worry that there is something -- something major-- that either you haven't been told or that you don't understand (eg, having huge amounts of heroin in your house wouldn't hurt anyone, but could make you eligible for a trafficking charge that in many places would carry 25 years, so "no one got hurt" doesn't mean that the charges aren't serious).
He made a bad decision because of alcohol, you say. Here is the thing -- you know another bad decision people make while under the influence of alcohol? Not showing up for court (and you'd better believe I've had that happen, multiple times). If they don't show up, you are on the hook. You could lose your home. And bail bond companies, I am just going to say it, are shady.
Also, here is the truth -- if the charges are serious enough that the bond is this high, if he is convicted, he may be looking at jail time anyway, so you could take this risk (and maybe lose), and he could go to jail anyway. So you might be taking a risk just to get him a temporary reprieve.
I would not agree to this.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jun 1, 2017 22:44:00 GMT
Oh hell no!!
Kid got himself into jail - he can get himself out.
Also if he's been in there for 2 weeks & needing enough bail money to put 2 houses up? They're not telling you the whole story.
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Post by papersilly on Jun 1, 2017 22:44:52 GMT
this is a huge deal! at least to me so NOPE i wouldn't do it. they got themselves in this mess, it's not your problem to get them out. if the girl's grandparent's won't even do it (regardless of the reason), why should it fall on you? nope, i wouldn't do it. shit happens and you don't want your home on the line when it does.
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 1, 2017 22:45:22 GMT
Go look up what the charges against him are
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cindosha
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,118
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Post by cindosha on Jun 1, 2017 22:46:20 GMT
Do you want to risk losing your house? I can't say no hard enough!!!!
Cindy
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Post by lesley on Jun 1, 2017 22:46:23 GMT
Never, ever. And shame on your husband for asking you to do that.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jun 1, 2017 22:46:53 GMT
this is going to cause a rift in your marriage - either way you go for me...it really would depend on my relationship with the arrested and the charges if he's dealing drugs - it's a no go from the details you mentioned - it sounds like a domestic case or a weapons charge but that's awfully high bond for just that gina It does have to do with weapons. It just make me sick, because yes, it is going to cause a huge rift if I say no. It would already be a rift for me with him even ASKING you to do this and putting you in this position. If he can't see that this is a terrible idea, I'd be questioning his sanity. It isn't even HIS kid! It's her husband! NO. NO NO NO NO. You should show him this thread. |
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