Fluff ~ How about a 28 yr. old who won't highway drive?

I'm 33 and have severe highway driving anxiety. There are certain places I will not drive to because of it. It sucks but I recognize that with my driving anxiety in these places it's not safe for me or the other drivers around me. Every year I push myself a little bit more and a little bit farther just because sometimes there are things I have to do for work and such. In a situation where it's just a party I likely just wouldn't go. If I had other options like trains or relatives I would absolutely take advantage of those offers.

My mom will not drive on the freeways. She has been driving for years. And I had a co-worker who also did not drive on the freeway. She once got a ticket for going 40 in a 55 zone. So, some people just are not comfortable driving on fast roads. I'd rather they get rides then go out there and become a traffic hazard.

I think you're being horribly judgey, would it be better to have an anxiety attack once she's on the highway if her fear overcomes her?
I'm 47 and don't drive at all, I know my limitations.

I understand her fear. Driving on the highway, specifically the Capital Beltway, in and around Washington, DC is traumatizing. I learned to drive on the Beltway years ago, and you couldn't pay me to drive it anymore. I'm not real crazy about riding on it anymore. It's beyond nerve wracking, especially if you're a nervous driver. Better that she not get behind the wheel of a car with that kind of anxiety. Not everyone is cut out to drive.

I get the highway thing and yes it is best if a person does know their limitations

But she's really going A LOT out of her way and spending probably double for the little jaunt to NJ. NJ transit is costly and Amtrak is insanely expensive.

I wonder if it's all to see her father?


DD has several friends who can't drive. It irks the crap out of me because DD ends up driving them places and I end up subsidizing other parents stupid parenting choices. Just a pet peeve of mine. Where we live there is NO mass transit. Maybe a train to NYC but that's over priced and under reliable. You just have to drive here unless you bike a lot.

I dont know why she coulsnt take the train other than cost.

As for highway driving, my mother won't do it. My cousin, who is the same age as me, won't drive on the interstate or in big city traffic. She barley wants yo drive in town.

Me? I'll drive anywhere that isn't sheer drop off cliff.

I understand, I was like this until I was about 24. I finally overcame my fear by taking a trip to see my sister by myself playing CDs of music I really liked and found empowering.
Then I drove up to see my dad in Chicago. From there it all got much easier.

I think a large part of it was not knowing exactly where I was going, which caused me a lot of anxiety compounded by the fast speeds. Now I can drive across the country alone, all around Chicago, Philly, other urban areas without being scared. I just got more confident by making myself do it. I actually am a lot less scared if I'm the driver, because I'm in control. But I understand the fear.

GPS changed my life! I have a horrible sense of direction, and it was so frustrating to try and find places while driving with a map. Mapquest helped my first independent big journey but GPS on my phone is even better. It takes the fear out of things so I can focus on the road.

I don't care if someone else drives, doesn't drive or only drives in specific conditions such as not on the highway as long as they aren't involving me in their transportation issues in ways that makes it an issue for me.

I had a co-worker in her late 50s who did not drive and she was a terrified passenger to boot. She would clutch the chest strap of the seatbelt so hard she was literally white knuckled even though traffic was light and only moving 35 mph. I would occasionally offer to take her home if the weather was bad or if work caused her to miss her bus (it was an hour between buses) I offered at my convenience. Otherwise, her life choices were just that, hers. Not saying anxiety is a choice (although refusing treatment is a choice) but choosing to live where public transportation is sparse is a choice, choosing to accept a party invitation outside your available transportation routes is also a choice.

As long as she has family/friends who accept her limitations I don't see it my business to comment or have an opinion about it.

In my 20's, I was in a terrible car accident while on the highway, I avoid it wherever possible and I get very anxious if I'm on the highway even as a passenger. My hubby says I'm always looking in the side rear view mirror! So it could be a very valid fear.

I stopped driving highways when I was 30.  I had panic attacks. I tried driving expressways but I was terrified.  I HATED feeling this way! I tried several times to drive on expressways but the fear was overwhelming.


At age 56 I had to drive into town every day for radiation treatments. I challenged myself to take baby steps and I was driving the expressway by my third radiation treatment. There are areas of the expressway I still avoid. One area is called malfunction junction - no other explanation necessary. 


We all have fears, it costs nothing to be kind and respectful. 

You knowledge about anxiety is about a sound as my knowledge about what runny, green shit taste like so if I were you I would just be quiet at this point...

I tend to be someone who can be quick to judge others sometimes. I'm trying to work on it, and remind myself that "there but for the grace of God go I."