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Post by gypsymama on Aug 24, 2014 22:17:07 GMT
i think diligent isn't the word i would use... but whatever on that one... i dont' see how anyone can pinpoint groceries down to the penny, sometimes tehre's a sale, some things you have to get... and of course electric bills vary, etc... can HE go to the store with $100 in hand and get the groceries for the week and hit it within $5?
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Post by cahwoo on Aug 24, 2014 22:24:55 GMT
We have to. We are seniors with only SS for income.
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azredhead
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Post by azredhead on Aug 24, 2014 22:26:12 GMT
We don't keep spread sheets but rather keep track. i know how much to budget each month for bills. Some months are easier and not so tighton the budget . I have to keep track in my head or a note book only because I tend to forget stuff that does need to be paid and then I know what's left to play or whatever. DH usually just want know what's left, he'll tell me if he's thinking of what we need or want to do outside of bills. He doesn't like doing the bills.
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Post by Merge on Aug 24, 2014 22:26:33 GMT
We're back on a strict budget saving up for a big vacation. DH has taken over paying the bills and budgeting for this - I've been doing it for 18 years and it's his turn LOL.
He concedes a certain amount of wiggle room on groceries. You might be a little over the budgeted number one week and a little under the next. Setting a monthly budget instead of weekly might be easier because it allows for those little variances.
We use cash only for non-budgeted things. This is new and it's hard for me. I have a certain amount each week to cover unplanned Target trips, quick snacks, little luxuries like pedicures, etc.
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Post by lightetc on Aug 24, 2014 22:28:30 GMT
FWIW, I've done the bills for 10 years. Now he wants to. You might have to roll with it for a few months until he sees that there's really not as much give as he first imagined. Alternatively - let him go grocery shopping as suggested. He may also need to do the food prep that week to ensure success doesn't just mean not buying enough. But yes, it can be worth it if you're both on the same team. If you're pulling in opposite directions then I imagine the outcome may be different.
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Post by houston249 on Aug 24, 2014 22:30:13 GMT
Yes and no. Some things had to be flexible like groceries. Say we spent, on average, 205.00 a week without coupons or sales. I would budget 240.00 every week. That left me some wiggle room if something had its price raised or maybe something we used all the time was a killer deal and I wanted to stock up on it there was no problems for me. Most often i had 35 dollars or more "left over" And that went straight to the credit cards. You all could put the extra in your retirement fund instead.
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Post by anniefb on Aug 24, 2014 22:31:45 GMT
I have a budget and try to stick to it, however, I wouldn't worry if it was a small amount over one week as long as over a month or few months I'm hitting the right numbers. I agree about letting your DH do the shopping
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Post by Basket1lady on Aug 24, 2014 22:44:34 GMT
Well, I've never had a budget where $5 made that big of a difference. But about 10 years ago, we stopped spending and put everything into reducing our debt. We had a $10,000 Visa bill from fertility appts and it wasn't going down much. And it didn't seem like it would ever go away. We paid it off in 3 years, including the car loans as well. We did have a pay raise, and took little vacations instead of big trips, started eating out only twice a month, and tried not to nickel and dime our paycheck away.
The freedom and lack of stress from money is worth every sacrifice. We are now putting huge chunks of money away for college and retirement. We went to London and Paris in April and had a wonderful vacation. We don't use any pay raises and it all goes into savings of some sort. DH and I no longer bicker about each others spending and if it's "worthy." Honestly? I wish we had done it years before. I don't regret the money spent on fertility treatments, but we could have reduced some of our bills in other areas.
Anything you do to help reduce the debt and build savings is a good thing. Even if it means that you aren't completely debt free--it's better than where you were, right? You and your DH need to come up with a DOABLE plan and then stick to it. But it has to be doable for both of you.
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Post by lorieann13 on Aug 24, 2014 22:52:31 GMT
Yes and it was worth it. It allowed us to pay off roughly $75,000 worth of medical debt in 5 years. We only have about $1000 left that just surfaced recently. We cut out cable/internet, took trips close to home, were careful with driving, and budgeted for everything. We had a month savings for say an er visit or needed more groceries. But it allowed us to pay of ds' medical debt (which was WITH insurance), and qualify for a low rate on our new mini van. Now we have a good chunck left over each month that we can put away into college savings, personal savings, and to have as fun money. It sucked, I won't lie. I hated not being able to scrapbook or go out with friends or buy that cute shirt I wanted. But its way better not having a big chunk hanging over our heads
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scrappinmama
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Post by scrappinmama on Aug 24, 2014 23:01:09 GMT
I have done it before. And I'm thinking of doing it again. For groceries, what has really helped is actually adding things up as I put them in the grocery cart. If you have a goal in mind (getting rid of debt, retirement or emergency savings, big purchase), then it is totally worth it.
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Post by eebud on Aug 24, 2014 23:14:16 GMT
I don't think I have ever had a strict budget that was written down on paper but I have lived with a VERY strict idea of how my money was spent and I knew exactly what my bills were and when they were due to know what was paid from every paycheck. So, I guess you could say that my budget was in my head. I know that this doesn't work for many but it always worked for me.
OP, if you DH is complaining about $5 extra at the grocery store and he wasn't with you when you shopped, ask him to tell you what grocery item you should have left behind so that you didn't go over by $5. He might have very good input or he might not be aware of costs. Are you shopping the sales and planning your menus based on whats on sale? This can help the grocery budget a lot.
I think the main thing is to figure out what works for your family to get out of debt and stay out of debt. It is VERY freeing when you are debt free whether completely debt free or debt free other than house/rent payment. If your family needs a strict budget, then that is definitely what you need to do but it also needs to be worked out over the course of a few months to take into account the ups and downs and different months. If you have been using Quicken or something similar, you might be able to create your budget using past expenses rather than waiting for future expenses and for that matter, you can create your budget in Quicken. I started using Quicken in 1996 so I have many years of history of expenses if I need them.
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Post by melanell on Aug 25, 2014 1:43:14 GMT
There was a time when we did that. Not immediately after going down to one salary, but maybe a year and a half later. We just weren't as comfortable with our savings and ability to easily handle unexpected expenses as we wished to be, so we tightened the belt hard for awhile. We set money aside and that was it. We didn't go over. For awhile my mantra was "We're broke." so much that my family pretty much started to believe it, LOL! We weren't broke, obviously, but I wanted them to act like we were. It started off as a joke, but after awhile you get out of the habit of spending so much. Of course, things evened out, and we loosened the reigns a bit, and then later another kid came along, and we pretty much dropped the reigns, and hmmmmm---come to think of it, maybe I should start telling everyone we're broke again.
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Post by Erica on Aug 25, 2014 1:58:48 GMT
I am thinking about having a budget. There are some things I want to pay off. I also want a new car.
I have been thinking about using cash only too. I don't want to keep getting new debit cards because all the stuff that's going on with debit/credit cards being compromised.
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Post by cmpeter on Aug 25, 2014 2:20:02 GMT
Just when we were saving up for the down payment on our first house. And , yes at that time it was well worth it because we bought our first house.
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scrapaddie
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Post by scrapaddie on Aug 25, 2014 2:26:41 GMT
When I divorced, I inherited mega debt from the marriage, much of which I had been unaware. I wanted to retire.... So I made the bills a priority... Cut out all kinds of things like subscriptions , did not air condotipn, kept the house at in the winter, etc... But the bills are gone and without them, I was able to retire very comfortably!!
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Post by jumperhop on Aug 25, 2014 2:30:58 GMT
No but dh just quit his job to go off on his own so we will be on a strict budget. Luckily I have a food storage that will help. Jen
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mlana
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Post by mlana on Aug 25, 2014 6:58:17 GMT
We've done it several times in our married life and they've not only been productive times, but also fun.
My DH is not someone who had ever lived on a budget until we got married. He had a lot of trouble adjusting and he just plain fought me at first. We were so poor and he just didn't get that there was no backup; both of our sets of parents were equally poor and weren't able to help us if we ran short. We finally decided to look at it as a team building exercise - could we work TOGETHER to find ways to provide for our family AND put money aside for future fun? We could and we did!
We learned to look thru the pantry and fridge and make a list of what was getting close to the expiration date and to use that first. We learned to take a minute and turn off the lights as we left the room. We reminded each other, when one of started grousing, that keeping the house cooler in the winter and warmer in the summer were small prices to pay for a stress free vacation. We sat down and discussed how we were going to pay for something before we bought it, something DH doesn't care about usually.
DH and I were talking about this the other night. He said that what he remembered working best was when we set a goal of xx dollars per month for groceries and however much we came in under, half went to the trip fund and half went on whichever debt we were focusing on. He said that he found it easier to agree to try store brands when he could see the extra going to the vacation fund. He hated, but understood, the opposite of that: if we went over budget, the full amount we went over came out of the trip fund.
Our DS was an only child during the early years and he doesn't remember that we were ever short on money. He remembers the charts I made to show how much we had saved for a trip and how excited he was when DH got the chance to work some extra hours and did. The extra money was split with so much going into our cushion fund, so much going to pay off debt and so much going to the trip fund. After DH got paid and after we went to the bank, we'd gather around our little area where we hung our chart and we'd let DS replace the old chart with the new one, then he'd measure to see how much closer we were to our goal. We didn't realize it at the time, but that made a huge impression on him.
For things like groceries, I think that looking at a month,rather than a single trip is the best way to budget. I know our Kroger puts chicken breasts on sale every other week or so, so that's when I bring our freezer stock back up to level. When the frozen veggies go on sale, I buy enough to fill up that section of the freezer; I don't buy them again until they go back on sale and I only ever buy enough to bring my stock up to the amount I've decided we can use in a 6 week period.
Marcy
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Country Ham
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Post by Country Ham on Aug 25, 2014 12:53:33 GMT
Yes you can. You pay cash for everything. I mean if you have 100 dollars in your pocket for groceries and after your stuff gets rung up and it comes to 105.00 dollars what would you do? You would have to take something out of the cart that comes to 5 dollars or a little more so you could pay. That's where credit cards can get us in trouble. We plan a budget that is 100 a month for certain things. We think 105 is OK cause it's just 5 dollars over budget. But if you allow yourself 5 dollars over on groceries, then it's 5 dollars over on clothes, and 5 dollars over on something else and before you know it you are 25 dollars over budget for the month. Doesn't sound like much but if you spent 525 dollars and your check is only for 500 then what?
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 25, 2014 12:57:55 GMT
We have not set exact dollar amounts, but we have stopped spending on anything not essential. When the housing crisis hit, DH chose to give up 80% of his salary so he could pay his employees. They took pay cuts, but no one was laid off. Then he was diagnosed with cancer. We managed to get through 2 years without his salary and did not go into debt.
It meant no eating out, buying groceries at Walmart (which we still do), no vacations, no renewing magazines, etc.
Things are better now, but we learned how much money we just sort of blew without thinking. We are very different now.
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scrappert
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Post by scrappert on Aug 25, 2014 13:03:40 GMT
I would say I am like your husband! However, I do set aside money for an allowance to spend just on whatever I want. But when that runs out, you have to wait for your next allowance payment. It is tough, I will admit that. I am finally in a place that I can breathe more. There was a discussion on living paycheck to paycheck, well that was me. I have a spreadsheet, I budget everything that is coming my way. This sheet runs months in advance. If I over budget, what remains goes to a bill. I don't ever under budget, that is just my way. All money is accounted for. Every penny has a name. This works for me. When I was married, DH took control of the bills. We ended up with a lot of money problems. When we separated, I took over all the bills. Even after our divorce, I still had control over the bills (that is another, long story). It's been 4 years, I was able to have money for my son to do things that he would have never been able to do otherwise. I have now cut all ties with the XDH, so that is why I can breathe more...
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scrappinmama
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Post by scrappinmama on Aug 25, 2014 13:05:22 GMT
Yes you can. You pay cash for everything. I mean if you have 100 dollars in your pocket for groceries and after your stuff gets rung up and it comes to 105.00 dollars what would you do? You would have to take something out of the cart that comes to 5 dollars or a little more so you could pay. That's where credit cards can get us in trouble. We plan a budget that is 100 a month for certain things. We think 105 is OK cause it's just 5 dollars over budget. But if you allow yourself 5 dollars over on groceries, then it's 5 dollars over on clothes, and 5 dollars over on something else and before you know it you are 25 dollars over budget for the month. Doesn't sound like much but if you spent 525 dollars and your check is only for 500 then what? This is such a good point. And it's exactly why budgets get blown. You think $5 isn't much, but $5 here and there can add up quickly.
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msliz
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Post by msliz on Aug 25, 2014 14:56:29 GMT
A friend of mine married a man who became a control freak right after the honeymoon. He took over all the bills and micromanaged her spending. It was awful, and the divorce was worse. That doesn't sound like your situation at all, but arguing about money can cause all kinds of problems. I'd just urge you and your DH to work as a team and not allow yourselves to see the other as opponents. Like other posters have mentioned, this exercise has the potential to do some real good for your family
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2014 15:05:36 GMT
we pretty much always try to stick to a "strict budget"....to me it is totally worth it because it means we don't spend without thinking about it. This has allowed us to (1) pay off credit card balances totally; (2) pay cash for used cars/large and medium purchases and (3) put money into savings (regular and college) that would normally be wasted away.
However, I will say that each pay period (biweekly) we have a specific amount of "living money" that goes to groceries/eating out and extras. Over the years, it's been pretty easy to analyze what we need/want and that money does allow for some "fun". So it skips the $5 worries, but anything big, but not super expensive, might get put off a week or two. And I keep pretty good track of how much "living money" we have at any point in the pay period.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 25, 2014 16:15:08 GMT
I was on an incredibly strict grocery budget for some time. DH kept complaining where 'all' the money went vs what I was making for dinner.
I had to explain to him over and over and over again that in the last few years food prices have shot up, the children being teens eat larger portions things like that. He grumbled repetitively. I got the flu he did 1 weeks groceries ( with a list from me for dinner foods ) and he went $75 ( in one week )over budget and didn't even get the non food things we needed like detergent. I have no clue how he managed to do that I swear I did not pad the list with expensive foods. Chicken, sausage and chop meat mostly, and fresh veggies.
Now I have the 'budget' for groceries which I try very hard to stick to plus $100/month for if I go over. If I don't use it it goes into the 'account' for the kids random school activity expenses that pop up all year long.
So yes I agree that he should shop once or at least go with you so he sees how it us spent.
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Post by tuva42 on Aug 25, 2014 17:20:45 GMT
We have been married for 25 years and we've kept a spreadsheet of every expense every month of that whole time. We know how much money we have all the time. It has really helped. We were able to save for our kids college expenses, take vacations and buy a new house, all knowing that we had the money we needed to cover our bills and do these things, too. It helped us when we were first married to figure how much of a house we could afford, and how we could live on just his salary when we had kids. I would not have had the discipline to do this if it had not been for my husband, so he gets the credit.
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 25, 2014 18:00:01 GMT
The person 'controlling' the money/budget needs to do the grocery shopping. Having a strict budget is fine but it will only work if both people agree to participate.
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 25, 2014 18:13:17 GMT
We do a cash flow analysis every now & then if we feel like money is flowing out too quickly (get a receipt or write down everything you spend money on for a month). From this, I will set a loose budget and try to stick close to it, so $5 a week over and under isn't going to blip on the radar.
The first time we did this (15 years ago?) DH became a little obssessed with getting the weekly grocery bill lower and lower and lower until I told him the only way I could keep going in that direction was to feed him less and eliminate meat. He also used to bug me about not couponing, but honestly I found very few things on my list that had coupons available.
I agree that the person controlling the budget needs to be the one shopping and think the budget has to come from a realistic place (like reviewing receipts from the last month), not a made up number.
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Post by ahiller on Aug 25, 2014 18:20:36 GMT
You should try youneedabudget.com (YNAB). The whole premise of their system is that our lives fluctuate and no two months will be exactly the same, financially. It's ok to spend $5 more on groceries so long as you can pull it from somewhere else. We've been doing it for nearly a year and it's really changed the way we budget.
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Post by mamanay on Aug 25, 2014 18:43:21 GMT
Dang I don't think I could grocery shop like that. I don't go crazy, but if something we use all the time is on sale I stock up. Aka peanut butter, coffee, cereal, chips, sodas, juice, etc I only buy when it is on a bogo sale. Then I might buy 4-8 and we are good for quite some time. So some weeks I spend little and some weeks way more.
The only guaranteed items on my list are milk, bread, fruit and salad fixings.
I don't generally meal plan or have a menu. But I do keep a stocked pantry and fridge. If it's on sale and we like it or will use it and I don't already have a bunch of it, I buy it. Then as the week goes, I cook what I feel like making based on my pantry/freezer. Aka ground beef is on sale. I'll buy several pounds and freeze. I don't stock pile, but I usually have a variety of possible meal options.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 25, 2014 19:00:23 GMT
I am wanting to do a strict budget and am really struggling with how to do it. I feel like we need to cut expenses but I'm not sure where.
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