Advice on dealing with 5 year old.

ignore the screams. do a time out. consistent ..you have to do this over time for it to help. over and over. keep occupied. redirect. or have him do something physical..like touch the toes or something to distract him. ..again, ignore the bad as much as possible and praise the good.

I got this from a Facebook friend. Maybe you could adapt some of these activities for his age/ability and use them to head off the tantrums and re-direct him?

www.minds-in-bloom.com/2014/07/brain-breaks-freebie.html

Did you steal my 5 year old son and make a photocopy? He has been the exact same way. He WILL NOT stay in time out. We have joked that we need a timeout corner with handcuffs because he won't stay there. The other day all he had to do was pick 5 things off the floor, it took 32 hours... He's sassy, rude, throws things, is mean to everyone. Only one week until school starts, only one more long week...

Forgot to add: part of the problem is my son won't stop talking long enough to hear what I'm saying.  Then he gets mad because he didn't hear what I said (which I won't repeat) because he talked over me.  Repeat endlessly for the past 8 weeks. 

I hope you figure something out and I will be reading this thread for ideas!   

Of course it doesn't but boredom will lead to acting out, it becomes it's own form of entertainment in a way, something to do that is guaranteed to get attention.  Does he enjoy anything that the other boys can also be engaged in? Can he help out with them in some way? Give him small tasks and praise him when he does them.

Do the younger ones nap? Can you do something with just him if they do? Maybe make that reward time for behaving? Say, hey do you want to do a puzzle together when your brothers nap? Maybe more one on one attention? I know how frustrating mouthy kids can be but from what I recall, at least my DD waited until her teen years to be a pain (but has been really good lately).

I have great luck having kids that age start the timer and the ring tone on my phone...can't argue with the timer...and let them start it. so..."in 1 minute, you will xyz"...here, set the timer...

as much concrete tactile stuff as possible. visual cues are really good at this age...charts, lists, timers, anything to take focus off you telling him something.

I don't claim to be a parenting expert, but I have been through two kids that age so far, and I found that their behavior was always better when they had some responsibilities, when I praised them for the things they did that were helpful and positive, and when I was feeling happy and peaceful. The more I got stressed out by their behavior and showed the stress, the worse it got. Which is a hard thing to tamp down. As is praising a kid who is driving you nuts.

Have you read any of the Alfie Kohn books? I don't agree with him 100% about all things ever, but I find that his thoughts map more onto mine than most parenting books I have read, and, if nothing else, they make you think about your approach.

DS was the tester of rules and the most stubborn person I've ever known. If I to tell him to stop hitting his sister, he would kick her.  If I told him no hitting or kicking, he would shove.  That kids drove me batty.  I know I did much better with him when we had some time apart.  I was more patient and more consistent.  And he was distracted because he had other stuff going on.

I agree with Love and Logic.  When I started doing that, it was like it all clicked.  For both of us.  

Don't take it personally.  It's easy to get frustrated if you just spent the entire nap time playing Legos and reading to him, and then he's a little imp when you want him to clean up.  Set the timer and leave the room.  Empathize with him, but stand firm.

Be consistent.  Without fail.  Even if it's inconvenient.  Five year olds love to test the system.  They are now old enough to figure out how things work and want to know what they can get away with.  This is why you pick your battles.  Because you can only choose one or two things to work on at a time.  Otherwise you can't be consistent with the rules.

Tell yourself all week long that you just have to hang in there until next Tuesday. Then you will get a break from 5 year olds and the younger two can drive you nuts.  And remember this for next year--you need a plan for the end of the summer.  Do something different, enroll him in a camp, take a quick get a way, something different.

It may be time to shake things up a bit. Head off the boredom with a surprise trip to the park, the zoo, etc. He probably is bored and isn't quite old enough to vent his frustrations appropriately. Good luck.

Sometimes kids are just giant turds. Time out standing sounds good. Talk all you want because I am going to leave the room. Maybe time out isn't the best consequence for him. I don't know what is, but perhaps something he loves could be taken away. How many days until school starts?