Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 11, 2024 0:28:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2014 6:09:40 GMT
As long as it isn't the "honoree" throwing any shower I don't see it as a gift grab. Friends know what the divorced person is in need of. Some people divide up household goods and move on. Others end up with an angry spouse destroying everything or not going through the division of property like they should so one of them is starting off with nothing.
When my divorce was final a good friend took me to Sam Choy's for lunch. It wasn't a celebration.. more of a commemoration of an end to one of life's chapters and the start of a new chapter. Another couple of friends gave me various "shower" types of gifts for setting up a new household. They understood the strain my finances were in and how little I owned as a new single woman coming out of a bad divorce.
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ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,083
Location: Valley of the Sun
Jul 26, 2014 21:02:07 GMT
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Aug 28, 2014 6:09:41 GMT
I've never heard of such a thing...and I've had several friends divorce. I can understand celebrating that final step (as I've had a few friends go through rough marriages and subsequent rough divorces), but can't imagine a expecting a gift--that just seems over the top to me.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 11, 2024 0:28:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2014 6:14:01 GMT
Actually I asked this question because a friend of mine received this invitation. And a gift is expected. Included was a list of "possible" ideas which included linens for kitchen, bath and bedroom. Small appliances. Dinner ware. And gift cards. This seemed a bit over the top but perhaps this is how it is done. A gift is expected by who? The hostess or the honoree? As in any shower they shouldn't be the same. I can see it being tacky if someone is throwing their own shower. BUt I don't see it as tacky if Jane knows Suzie has needs now that the divorce is finalized and Jane wants friends to rally around Suzie to lift her spirits and care for her more immediate household needs.
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ctencza
Shy Member
Posts: 39
Jun 27, 2014 0:43:36 GMT
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Post by ctencza on Aug 28, 2014 10:03:20 GMT
We threw a celebration when my friend's divorce was final. I made a cake with the bride stabbing the groom. It was all in fun. Everyone brought a plate of food and some champagne. My friend would NEVER have expected or encouraged any of us to give her a present. She just needed one night of happiness after a particular dark time.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Aug 28, 2014 10:33:17 GMT
Actually I asked this question because a friend of mine received this invitation. And a gift is expected. Included was a list of "possible" ideas which included linens for kitchen, bath and bedroom. Small appliances. Dinner ware. And gift cards. This seemed a bit over the top but perhaps this is how it is done. Seems like she may be in need of replacing a lot of the essentials and someone is throwing her a party to do so. Like everything else, to each his own.
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Post by Miss Ang on Aug 28, 2014 11:49:43 GMT
Sometimes marriages don't work it. I understand that. It happens.
However, people (I assume!) go into a marriage planning to spend their entire lifetime with their spouse. When a couple divorces, for any reason, I think it's sad. Basically, things in life didn't go quite like they intended. Maybe the husband was a cheat or a jerk, or maybe the wife was, but either way, to me, divorce is an ending and while a new beginning is around the corner, I think celebrating a divorce is disrespectful of the original intended plan when a couple marries.
Celebrating a new beginning, even after a difficult marriage/divorce is understandable to me though.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 28, 2014 12:25:52 GMT
I realize some divorces are necessary but I don't get a celebratory vibe when a marriage dies. I will never show up at Macy's to buy from anyone's divorce registry that's for sure. The death of some marriages are not worth celebrating, but I can guarantee you that most are. I've been to a lot of divorce parties and they are a blast. You celebrate getting into a marriage, why not celebrate it when you move on to the next phase of your life? And while I hate showers, I can totally see the need for a divorce shower. So many people get shafted by their former spouse that they need to start all over again when it comes to household items. So I would hate the shower, but I would totally understand it.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 28, 2014 15:51:31 GMT
It wasn't termed a divorce shower - but someone threw a house warming party for my aunt after her very, very difficult divorce. She was in a crappy apartment, trying to make it work with two young kids and never having worked outside the home. I'm sure some would term it tacky, but the attendees were more than happy to support her in a difficult time.
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