College question

Has he said that he wants to leave? A week isn't very long and it takes far longer than a week to get a better feel for a place. No one has friends those first few weeks - everyone is just an acquaintance at first. It takes a while to get used to college classes. Good advice that parents got when we brought our kids for freshman registration is that when things are going well, they'll tell their friends. When things are not going well, they will call you. They encouraged us to not get worked up about it, just be reassuring. Encourage them to go to the activities on campus. If my daughter would have been miserable I would have encouraged her to finish the semester and transfer if she's still miserable in December. I suppose it's harder when he's so far from home. I know at my daughter's school there is a drop by date. I don't really know how that works. It's so hard not to worry about them in these early weeks of college.

It's way too soon to tell. I agree with above - encourage him as much as possible to get out, meet people, join clubs. If he wants to come home, ask how he envisions that - is he going to take classes? Get a job? He should stay at least, as long as we're not talking about him being clinically depressed, for the semester. Then revisit it over break. Some schools just aren't the right fit. I know plenty of kids who have transferred. But I'd hate to see him come home after a week - he really hasn't give it (forgive the pun) the old "college try." Is he normally an anxious kid? Was this expected?

I have known a lot of kids that were in the same boat.  Almost all of the parents made them wait it out for the first semester. Almost all of those kids decided to stick it out for the rest of the year. Some changed schools the next year, some fell in love with their new home.  A few parents allowed their kids to come home after one semester.  

I know a lot of people who are at that school and a lot that graduated from there.  Everyone that started there has loved it. A few people that started at other schools and transferred are/were unhappy there, though. I personally hate Charlotte. Despise that city with a passion. 

Living in the south is VERY different than living in New York. Some get used to it and like it and some don't. Try and convince him to give it some time. Have him look into what he is financially responsible for this semester. How much $$$ he will loose, how he plans to pay back the loans, etc. I'm from the north and went to college in the south. It took a long time to get used to it. Not that I ever got "used" completely.

Glad you're feeling better about it!

I told mine to give it a year. If she doesn't like it after the first semester, we'll talk about transferring for year 2. No way would I allow her to drop out so soon. The first semester of college is a hard adjustment for nearly everyone!

Has he said he doesn't want to stay there???

He's doing just fine then. My daughter lived too far from home to come home often and she always commented that she felt sorry for the kids who decided to go home every weekend. She said all you do is work during the week and that all the fun to be had is during the weekend. Learning a new town and college is the fun part. My daughter sent me a text the day after we left her saying, "I want to come home but I'm going to try to make the best of this." She was tired and nervous. By noon she was fine.SaveSave

Maybe to southerners it's not, but I guarantee you, as a west coaster it sure as hell felt southern to me. Not as southern as places I've visited in GA, MS, and LA but southern nonetheless. It would be a major adjustment for someone from the north, midwest or west.

As to the OP, I felt a lot like your son my first few weeks in college. I went to college in Minnesota after growing up in Oregon and Washington. The weather, the people, the everything... it was all different and I knew no one there. I had been so excited to go away to college and was shocked to find myself feeling homesick. But I stuck it out and soon I loved it. The first couple months were rough though. When EVERYTHING about your life changes in one fell swoop, it takes even those most well-adjusted kid a little while to adjust. It's waaaaaay too soon for him to even entertain coming home, unless there's a mental health issue in play. 

I went to college before email, texting and social media were a thing. I think that probably makes it harder if you're feeling homesick. Seeing your friends having fun elsewhere, knowing exactly what your family is doing without you, and so on. Only talking to my family once or twice a week (long distance was expensive in the olden days lol) actually *helped* - I would invariably feel wistful for home when I heard from my family about life going on without me at home. When I was doing my own thing at school, I had fun, was making friends (of course they're not yet like the friends you'd had forever in high school, but that comes with time), getting involved, etc. 

All that's to say, though I am sure it's tempting to check in daily or more, I'd try to lessen that a bit. And when you do talk/text, focus on what *he's* doing rather than sharing what's happening at home. Ask him about various things on campus - buildings, activities, etc. - with the presumption that he's getting out there and checking things out. 

I hope your son has a good semester. It is always hard when your child goes away to college.

My son went to college at a school 1000 miles away and I was a nervous wreck the whole first year. He ended up loving his school and had a wonderful four years. He is starting law school this week in a different school which is about 800 miles from us in the other direction. He's 25 and very independent. However, I find myself fighting the urge to text him every five minutes to see if he is making friends and adjusting to his new school.

I'm not sure where you live, but as someone from the West Coast who has traveled extensively for both pleasure and work - I would absolutely classify Charlotte as the South.    It might not be "deep" South, but it is South none-the-less.

I know that nobody wants a kid to give up after just a week, but you should make yourself aware of withdrawal deadlines and tuition/housing refund policies just in case. If he is still miserable or just feels like it is not a good fit, his chances for a successful semester are greatly diminished. Whatever GPA he earns at this school will possibly follow him to another institution, and if he does poorly, that can be very hard to overcome. If he is really struggling at mid semester, you need to know what your options are.

It's bad enough to make student loan payments on a wasted semester if you withdraw after the refund date with no earned credit, but it is really painful to be making those payments for a semester of a low GPA that will be a drag on your college career for a long time to come.