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Post by chrissyc72 on Aug 25, 2017 22:52:34 GMT
Chrissy, I'm in Charlotte and have a son who graduated from UNC-C. (And my daughter is at school in Boston, so I know how hard it is!) There are a lot of activities and clubs to join; encourage him to get involved. It's a great way to meet other kids. They must be coming up to the Zombie week, where they have a campus-wide zombie hunt which is a lot of fun. Once the light-rail opens, it'll be a great way to get uptown and explore our beautiful city. My son worked for four years at the Starbucks near campus - it was easy to walk to, and offered flexible hours. It was also a good way to meet lots of people. (It's up past the football stadium - go past the bioinformatics building and across the street.) If he needs a place to get off campus for a bit and just sleep for the weekend, just let me know.  Thank you so much!!!! I am sure he will start to love it! |
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Post by genealopea on Aug 25, 2017 23:06:14 GMT
It's such a gorgeous campus. Between my two, we probably visited 50 campuses, and UNCC is definitely one of the top five. Is he in one of the new dorms? What's his major? My son was a computer science major, and graduated in 2016.
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Post by heckofagal on Aug 26, 2017 0:29:57 GMT
My family lives in the St. Louis area. My niece went to school in Chicago and hated it from day 1. Her parents had the rule that you sign up to go away you need to stick it out for the year. She went back for her sophomore year and hasn't been back. Now she has a husband and 2 kids.
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Post by chrissyc72 on Aug 26, 2017 0:51:33 GMT
It's such a gorgeous campus. Between my two, we probably visited 50 campuses, and UNCC is definitely one of the top five. Is he in one of the new dorms? What's his major? My son was a computer science major, and graduated in 2016. He is in Oak and it was redone I believe last year. It's ok. Really small but he likes it I guess. The campus is beautiful! Definitely a favorite. |
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likescarrots
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by likescarrots on Aug 26, 2017 0:54:39 GMT
Just an FYI - Charlotte is not southern. Geographically it is below the Mason Dixon line, but that is the only thing that is southern about it. I'm not sure where you live, but as someone from the West Coast who has traveled extensively for both pleasure and work - I would absolutely classify Charlotte as the South. It might not be "deep" South, but it is South none-the-less. I'm from the north east and to many of us, anything below DC is considered the south... |
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Post by txdancermom on Aug 26, 2017 1:01:21 GMT
Suggest he seek out clubs and activities that interest him. transitioning to college is hard - in high school you went to school from 8 to 3, classes every hour or so depending on the schedule....you may have had a study hall period, and a lunch period. you were told where to go. College - you may have a class that meets one day a week for several hours, others that meet a couple days, very few every day and you may only have 4 or 5 and there are a lot of free hours to fill. the first week of class, there may not be a lot of outside work.
my guess is once he gets really involved in campus life, he will like it. encourage him to stick it out a year, and if in the spring he is still not happy then look to transfer somewhere else.
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Post by Really Red on Aug 26, 2017 1:08:55 GMT
I always tell my kids there are only two things you can't change: babies and death. Don't have one or do the other. My one daughter went to school (unhappily) in Boston. She fell in love in one minute. My other daughter didn't love school the first year. I asked her to do it one year, then she could transfer anywhere she liked. She decided to move off campus, I got her a car and she got a job. She's so self-sufficient and pays for everything and her grades are stellar. She just needed to feel in charge. Her twin was not the same. Everyone needs something different. But as you know one week means nothing. I was SURE I made a huge mistake after one week, but ended up loving school. I hope it's the same for your son.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 26, 2017 2:29:38 GMT
I have an incoming freshmen getting ready to leave. So, I am a big talker aren't I? We were told that it takes about 6 weeks for our students to recover from homesickness. At first I'm expecting him to be unhappy and hoping that I'm pleasantly surprised. He had a great high school experience and has really good friends. It's going to be a huge shift from mom's home cooking and constant support and fun to a tough cirriculum and dorm food. Those lonely times will be hard w/o his safe places to land. However, I keep reminding myself that this is normal stuff, a rite of passage if you will and that once he's settled in he'll thrive. If he's miserable after a few months then we would re-visit. One week is too soon to call it a day, unless there's a traumatic issue that hasn't been addressed.
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Post by chrissyc72 on Sept 1, 2017 9:49:47 GMT
Well he still doesn't like it. 2 weeks in and he is going to speak to his advisor today. Says it's very boring and why pay so much money for a school he isn't loving. He'd rather come home and do community college and figure out his next move. Ugh. I told him his isn't coming home if he is going to lose money. So very upset.
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Deleted
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Nov 1, 2024 13:30:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2017 10:18:14 GMT
Well he still doesn't like it. 2 weeks in and he is going to speak to his advisor today. Says it's very boring and why pay so much money for a school he isn't loving. He'd rather come home and do community college and figure out his next move. Ugh. I told him his isn't coming home if he is going to lose money. So very upset. Oh my, I'm sorry. Will he finish out the semester, or can he drop w/out the big financial hit (I'm not sure how all of that works). |
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Post by happymom on Sept 1, 2017 11:41:35 GMT
Our son went 9 hours away. For us it helped to always plan the next trip home....and booked the flight. Fall break and thanksgiving break.
It took him until 2nd semester sophomore year to really like it and feel like he had really close friends.
I would make him go for a semester and push the WHOLE YEAR option and then transfer if needed.
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Post by happymom on Sept 1, 2017 11:44:18 GMT
Well he still doesn't like it. 2 weeks in and he is going to speak to his advisor today. Says it's very boring and why pay so much money for a school he isn't loving. He'd rather come home and do community college and figure out his next move. Ugh. I told him his isn't coming home if he is going to lose money. So very upset. That is a very expensive lesson for "boring" I wouldn't accept this unless it was serious depression. Life is tough...live with adult choices |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 1, 2017 12:38:43 GMT
I have lived all over the south including Alabama, South Carolina, and several other places. I consider North Carolina the south. Can I ask why you don't think it's southern? I will admit Charlotte is different. It would not be a town I would want to live in. I am an hour from Charlotte but choose to go other places. Tell you son he can go down to South Carolina (only about 20 minutes from Charlotte). Tell him to visit Rock Hill. Winthrop University is there if he just wants to walk around a different campus for fun. And glad he is meeting friends, etc. The first week(s) are rough but hopefully it will be good for him! Thanks I will let him know that. He doesn't have a car so it's tough to get around. The light rail system will be up and running in March but not sure where else it'll go besides the city. Lots of free stuff happening in Charlotte this weekend. Uber is his friend until the light rail gets there. www.charlotteonthecheap.com/6-free-things-labor-day-weekend/ |
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by ellen on Sept 1, 2017 13:48:00 GMT
Bored? Is it possible that he's really homesick and doesn't want to admit it? I actually think that talking to his advisor might be a good idea. An adult at the school might be able to give him better advice. If my kid would have wanted to return home it would have cost my husband and me $9000. Sorry kid, you are finishing the semester. One of my coworkers had to do this with her daughter. She had a really hard time going back second semester her freshman year. She had several phone calls where her daughter was crying wanting to come home in January. Her parents were very clear that they were spending a lot of money and could not afford to take a hit like that. It took a little while but her daughter got it together and she was fine.
This has to be incredibly stressful for you. Even if you can get a big share of your money back, I don't think I'd be supportive of him returning home because he doesn't "love" it. There are probably a lot of kids around him right now that are faking it until they make it. He might feel like he is the only one who is struggling to adjust, but there are a lot of them who are homesick, overwhelmed, and wondering if they made the right school choice. I'd probably tell my kid that they are there until December and that if they are still hating it that they can do second semester at the community college. Perhaps by that time he'll be doing better and want to stay.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
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Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Sept 1, 2017 15:30:51 GMT
Well he still doesn't like it. 2 weeks in and he is going to speak to his advisor today. Says it's very boring and why pay so much money for a school he isn't loving. He'd rather come home and do community college and figure out his next move. Ugh. I told him his isn't coming home if he is going to lose money. So very upset. Both you & your son should make understanding the repercussions of quitting college a priority today. For example: Will he pay full tuition & room/board for an entire semester/year? Can he return for full refund any prepaid accounts (eg meal card) or books? Can the loan be deferred or transferred to another school? How will withdrawal affect his ability to secure a future education loan? Will a transcript be created, showing he started but didn't earn credit, at this school? Based on the financial impact of quitting, you can determine whether to continue entertaining the notion. If he ultimately decides to quit school, a requirement to come home should be a full time job. Since college is "boring," he shouldn't mind working at least until all expenses for which you weren't reimbursed (eg time/gas/hotel to move to/from) are repaid. Please discourage him from attending school anywhere until he's mature enough to appreciate the opportunity & focus on his future. |
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Post by chrissyc72 on Sept 13, 2017 23:50:50 GMT
Update: Well he absolutely hates it! Classes are boring, kids are immature and he just hates it! He said he'd stay through the semester last week but today he is totally miserable and depressed. He called financial aid to see if he can withdraw without losing money and they said he'd lose everything. He's only Been there a few weeks and I'm sure he's not the only one to ever feel this way. He's meeting with his advisor tomorrow but I'm afraid he is gonna be even more upset after that since I think he'll have to stick it out till December.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 13, 2017 23:55:10 GMT
Have you spoken to his RA?
I know it sounds a little helicopterish.
When I was an RA sometimes knowing a kid was miserable I could really help them find some people to hang out with.
Once he is resigned to stay until Dec he might make the best of it. Attitude is half the battle.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Sept 13, 2017 23:56:55 GMT
that's really too bad... classes are boring- are they just the 'standard' classes everyone needs to take? Can he look forward to something more interesting next semester? It sounds like it's tough from so far away to decide if he's really giving it his all-- if he thinks the other students are immature, it sounds like it's NOT that HE'S not ready to move away from home- is it? (then again, if it's a 4-year college, then how can all the other students be immature?) Is it just somewhat of a culture shock, moving from a larger city to somewhere 'down south' (if I recall correctly...)
but if he truly IS miserable, then maybe it would be better for him to make different plans for next semester. Not much benefit to the college experience or the education if he truly IS miserable and he's TRULY bored with the classes.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,643
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Post by janeliz on Sept 14, 2017 0:12:05 GMT
I hope he settles in and has a great freshman year.
I absolutely love Charlotte. I think it's a terrific city.
ETA: Oh no! I just saw your last update. I'm sorry.
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Post by chrissyc72 on Sept 14, 2017 0:24:35 GMT
He has to stay. He has to learn to deal with other people and situations. I just feel so bad cause he keeps saying he made a mistake and should of done community college for the first 2 years. I think he's homesick too. Oh well, nothing we can do. He just had to stick it out.
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Post by Patter on Sept 14, 2017 0:39:05 GMT
Oh I am so sorry he is still so miserable. I have no idea if he would be interested in something like this but I know MANY people across the country that have found their way at a university by joining CRU. I did not know about it or have anyone tell me when I was in school, and I wished I had. Would have made all the difference in the world to me. rsl.uncc.edu/cru-campus-crusade-christNext meeting is tomorrow night at 8 p.m. Hugs! |
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by ellen on Sept 14, 2017 0:44:51 GMT
If he were my son I would just encourage him to get through the semester. I think you have a homesick kid. Classes at a community college aren't likely to be more interesting than the classes he is currently taking. College kids on their own for the first time can be kind of goofy so I can see where he thinks they are immature, but that's going to be the case at every college. Maybe as he gets further into the semester he'll start feeling more comfortable. If that happens, great. He'll probably stay the year. If he's still miserable in December, I'd have him come home and do community college. I'm sure he had good reason to think he'd like his school, but sometimes things aren't what we think they'll be. It's ok if he comes home. College costs too much to force them to stay some place they don't want to be, but it's expensive enough that we make them finish the semester. In the meantime, you are correct. He is going to have to deal with this. I feel for you. Hard to coach our kids through a hard time.
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Post by chrissyc72 on Sept 14, 2017 2:50:10 GMT
If he were my son I would just encourage him to get through the semester. I think you have a homesick kid. Classes at a community college aren't likely to be more interesting than the classes he is currently taking. College kids on their own for the first time can be kind of goofy so I can see where he thinks they are immature, but that's going to be the case at every college. Maybe as he gets further into the semester he'll start feeling more comfortable. If that happens, great. He'll probably stay the year. If he's still miserable in December, I'd have him come home and do community college. I'm sure he had good reason to think he'd like his school, but sometimes things aren't what we think they'll be. It's ok if he comes home. College costs too much to force them to stay some place they don't want to be, but it's expensive enough that we make them finish the semester. In the meantime, you are correct. He is going to have to deal with this. I feel for you. Hard to coach our kids through a hard time. I know. He's thinking why pay so much for a school I don't love. Could do community college for so much less. Hard lesson to learn but if he didn't go he'd wonder if he missed out. We have told him he needs to stay till December. Easier for us to say but like my husndsd said, he's not sick or injured so he's staying. Had to learn how to deal with people. Thanks to all for the advice! |
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Deleted
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Nov 1, 2024 13:30:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2017 4:14:37 GMT
Do all you can to make sure he is getting involved in some sort of "club" Doesn't have to be fraternity but every campus has a wide variety of student organizations. If he feels everyone is immature, encourage him to seek out the international student activities director and hook into the international student organizations. We have one that seeks to pair up international students with US students. They have regular social events. In my experience the international students arriving tend to be a lot less "goofy" They know how to have fun without some of the boundary pushing American students seem to go through.
No matter what, get involved. (and yes, general education classes are boring no matter where you take them) Make the most of the out of class time/experience.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Sept 14, 2017 4:39:31 GMT
I do agree, though, that if it's general education credits (as long as he has an idea of where he wants to go afterward so they would transfer), he COULD do those at a community college for much less money. Going away to a 4-year college right out of the gate isn't for everyone. An associates degree from a reputable community college CAN be part of a perfectly fine education.
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Refupea #402
