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Post by genny on Sept 21, 2017 19:41:02 GMT
We support our local battered women's shelter here in town. Every year they have a big luncheon which is their biggest fundraiser of the year - I usually attend with my mom, cousin, and sister. Long stories involved, but there have been some horrific domestic abuse situations in our family with 2 consequential murders - so the program is very near and dear to us.
The statistics they quoted today were staggering. I had no idea that Georgia was #1 in the country for teen dating violence. It was just unreal and I was brought to tears more than once (as I usually am at these luncheons) by the words of survivors and the statistics in black and white.
Mildred Muhammad - her story was unbelievable. What that man put her through was nothing short of terrorism - he kidnapped her children, he stalked her - had people watching her and spying on her for him. Because of course he convinced people SHE was the crazy one, the one doing all the bad things etc. He had her phone number changed again and again, he sabotaged her locks so he could come in and out of the house. Her lawyer and advocate were even scared of him.
The way she told the story she asked for help over and over again (police and FBI), but kept hitting blocks because the proper paperwork hadn't been filed for this thing or that thing, or there wasn't a custody agreement in place yet and there were no laws in their state for one parent taking the kids (at the time, and that has now changed). She was able to get a life long restraining order put against him though. The absolute horror of the comments made to her after the shootings blew my mind. People told her that if she had just stayed with him he could have killed just her and saved all those people in DC that he killed. Or that had she stayed on the west coast where she belonged, he would have never come looking for her…I was truly astounded that people found a way to blame her for HIS actions!
Anyway - no big climax to my post I was just so moved by the story and wanted to share because until today I had no idea about her and her story and what led to those shootings.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Sept 21, 2017 19:56:59 GMT
Very moving. Thank you for sharing.
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Post by annabella on Sept 21, 2017 19:57:10 GMT
Wow that's crazy people blamed her! I never knew she was the intended target. I'm surprised they executed her husband so quickly, I thought those things go through years of appeals.
I always wondered if he had a sexual relationship with Lee Boyd Malvo. To sleep together in a car for 3 weeks, seems very intimate.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 14:39:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 20:05:07 GMT
Not wife, but ex-wife. From what I read, he went on his shooting spree after the divorce and that she believes she was likely the person he was after. I cannot imagine living with that kind of fear.  |
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,174 
Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on Sept 21, 2017 20:09:21 GMT
That is so horrifying. One of the first murders was here locally. Our Police Dept was the one that helped the investigation move forward by piecing together evidence.
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Post by genny on Sept 21, 2017 20:12:45 GMT
Not wife, but ex-wife. From what I read, he went on his shooting spree after the divorce and that she believes she was likely the person he was after. I cannot imagine living with that kind of fear. Yes, ex wife, correct. Sorry. She divorced him and after he moved out is when he started terrorizing her. And you're correct it was after the divorce - they lived in Washington state together, but she had fled to the Baltimore after things started getting really crazy. The FBI put she and her children, her sister and her DH in protective custody before they located him because they believed her, and possibly her family, to be targets as well. It was really a unnerving story. I'm with you, I can't imagine the fear of having a person like that want to kill you with the kind of skills he had. He'd told her more than once "one shot" and she knew what he meant. He told her she was his enemy and his enemies would not live. CRAZY. |
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Post by compwalla on Sept 21, 2017 21:10:45 GMT
We still live in a country that routinely asks women, "What did you do?" when men assault them. Her story is terrible but not surprising.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Sept 21, 2017 21:54:44 GMT
Sounds like it was a powerful talk. What that poor woman went through. I think domestic violence is an indicator of so many things and I am constantly disappointed at attitudes/comments I hear about domestic violence (indifference, blaming the woman, etc.). |
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Post by birukitty on Sept 22, 2017 0:51:35 GMT
Thanks so much for posting this. I didn't know anything about her story but I'm so impressed with her strength for having the courage to speak in public now about what she went through. It doesn't surprise me sadly about the comments she got blaming her. There are still so many people who are truly ignorant about domestic violence and what it is actually about. The only way this will change is to do what she is doing and others like her-speak out and educate others.
I am so sorry about what she went through. I remember vividly when the attacks around DC were going on. My husband was commuting to DC. from our home in Annapolis, MD to his job and we never knew when or where the next attack would hit. It was a very scary time. I can't even begin to imagine what she went through either being married to that man or worse trying to get away from him and divorced.
My prayers are with her and any woman who is in this situation or who has gotten out and is trying to repair her life. With your family members to Genny. I myself lived through it over 24 years ago.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Sept 22, 2017 0:57:03 GMT
Wow, thank you for sharing!
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,036
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Post by used2scrap on Sept 22, 2017 5:52:44 GMT
Having lived in the area of one of the shootings, it was such a terrifying time. I can only imagine what she and her family endured; I'm so glad she was able to get herself and children free. He was truly evil.
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Post by tommygirl on Sept 22, 2017 12:19:25 GMT
How wonderfully brave of her to be speaking out about her ordeal to help other domestic violence victims.
I also lived in the area at the time of the shootings. I felt like it was pretty widely understood that she was a victim of this man.
Its so sad that people would blame her.
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,147
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Post by scrapnnana on Sept 22, 2017 13:27:38 GMT
I don't question that she was in danger of being killed if he found her, but there is no way that he killed all those people in the hopes of trying to kill her. Maybe that wasn't the way she put it, but that is the impression that I got from the OP regarding people blaming her. Perhaps that was not what was meant.
I lived in the area when it happened. It was a terrifying time. The shootings were so incredibly random. One of them was very close to where I lived. There was nothing that any of the victims or locations had in common, and no one (including the police) had any idea where he would strike next. He just delighted in murdering people. Perhaps he was trying to terrorize her with the random killings, warning her that her time was coming, but if that was the case, did she know, and if she knew, did she try to tell the police? They were grasping at any clue to the killer, but they seemed to have no idea where to even look for the longest time. Over all, it was not as long as it seemed at the time, but it was horrifying while it lasted.
I have no doubt that he made her life a living hell, and I am not at all surprised that he was vindictive and abusive prior to his going on to kill random people. I am truly sorry for the hateful comments people have directed at her. It was never her fault. There is no way she could be blamed. She deserves some peace in her life now, and it's horrible that people she doesn't even know are adding to the hurt and pain she already suffered.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 22, 2017 21:53:32 GMT
I don't question that she was in danger of being killed if he found her, but there is no way that he killed all those people in the hopes of trying to kill her. Maybe that wasn't the way she put it, but that is the impression that I got from the OP regarding people blaming her. Perhaps that was not what was meant. I lived in the area when it happened. It was a terrifying time. The shootings were so incredibly random. One of them was very close to where I lived. There was nothing that any of the victims or locations had in common, and no one (including the police) had any idea where he would strike next. He just delighted in murdering people. Perhaps he was trying to terrorize her with the random killings, warning her that her time was coming, but if that was the case, did she know, and if she knew, did she try to tell the police? They were grasping at any clue to the killer, but they seemed to have no idea where to even look for the longest time. Over all, it was not as long as it seemed at the time, but it was horrifying while it lasted. I have no doubt that he made her life a living hell, and I am not at all surprised that he was vindictive and abusive prior to his going on to kill random people. I am truly sorry for the hateful comments people have directed at her. It was never her fault. There is no way she could be blamed. She deserves some peace in her life now, and it's horrible that people she doesn't even know are adding to the hurt and pain she already suffered. My understanding at the time was that he planned to kill her as one of the many random shootings happening then, so she would just look like another random victim, and it wouldn't be traced back to him. |
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