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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Sept 28, 2017 19:52:05 GMT
I feel like I've been very active lately...LOL.
Okay, so most of you know I have not been feeling well and on top of all that I had to take my methotrexate today which really just kicks my behind. I haven't been really been able to do much around the house besides minimal straightening up. I also really haven't been able to get through making an entire meal for my family without it totally exhausting me. DH has been trying...really has. But God bless him he can't cook. I asked him to make boxed mac and cheese for the boys the other day and he didn't add butter or milk to it...just powder cheese stirred into the noodles. He makes breakfast and can grill...I'm kind of over pancakes and waffles and hot dogs at this point. He has been only working half days to come home and help me with the boys, their school and cooking dinner. Here is our dilemma. A lovely lady at his work has offered to get her church folks together to make a few meals for us and want to buy us dinner tonight from a restaurant. I think it's a beautiful idea, but I feel really bad saying yes...I also don't want to hurt feelings by saying no. What do we say to them? I can cook some and I ordered groceries this week of nothing but simple meals of spaghetti and meatballs, ham steaks and even lunch meat sandwiches, just to kind of get us through til I'm feeling better and can get back to normal life.
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Post by donna on Sept 28, 2017 19:59:57 GMT
Let people help you. I had to accept help last spring and while it was hard it was a good thing.
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Post by LilyRose on Sept 28, 2017 20:00:58 GMT
I think you should gratefully accept. They/she would not have offered if they didn’t want to do it. Especially her offer of a restaurant meal tonight. Don’t you sometimes hear of someone going through a rough time and wish you could help out? Well, that’s what she’s doing. And someday when your hard times are a memory, you can pay it forward.  |
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,922 
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Post by pilcas on Sept 28, 2017 20:06:37 GMT
Yes, do accept. That is what communities are for.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,733
Location: So. Calif.
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Post by garcia5050 on Sept 28, 2017 20:06:49 GMT
Absolutely take the kind gesture. Someday, you'll be able to return the favor.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 28, 2017 20:06:51 GMT
They offered, let them help.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Sept 28, 2017 20:09:51 GMT
Accept. Promise her when you feel better you'll pay it forward.
Also, bertolli makes some great bagged meals, just heat and serve. We use them a lot during the fall (busy shooting season and I'm gone a lot).
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Post by rst on Sept 28, 2017 20:13:40 GMT
Accept the help.
Also figure out some bullet proof, easy meals people will eat and can't mess up.
One of mine: pre-cooked grilled chicken strips ( I get mine from Costco, but you can find them in most groceries), microwave rice/grain pilaf-- you put the pouch in the microwave for 90 second and it's ready to eat-- nothing to add. Frozen veggies in a microwave pouch. I make rice/grain bowls-- put the pre-cooked chicken into the bowl, splash it with whatever salad dressing you have on hand, then warm in the microwave. LAyer on the rice and veggies. Top with whatever cheese, nuts, or condiments you find in the fridge. It's almost healthyish and everything is easy to keep on hand, and you have a meal in less than 5 minutes, literally. It would get expensive to feed a family that way every night, but having it on hand saves you from stress and spendy eating out.
Hope you feel better, and enjoy being coddled by people who care.
One suggestion -- either ask that they bring only disposable containers, or figure out a system to get the dishes back to the right people without it becoming one more stress for you.
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Sept 28, 2017 20:14:35 GMT
I would say, yes, please! It's hard accepting help but people really LIKE to be able to do something practical. Take it and enjoy some nice food |
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Sept 28, 2017 20:17:04 GMT
think it's a beautiful idea, but I feel really bad saying yes It is SO SO SO easy to GIVE. Receiving though...that involves acknowledging that you actually need. And that you need help. It involves humility and grateful acceptance. Receiving is as important a lesson as giving. Accept the help you and your DH need right now. You'll have a chance to give to someone else later on...for now, receive and allow someone else the gift of Giving. |
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Post by pondrunner on Sept 28, 2017 20:17:13 GMT
Food made for you with love by someone else is good medicine. My advice is even if you don't think you need it, it's OK to let someone love you and take care of you.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 28, 2017 20:21:39 GMT
I agree with the others that you should accept it. It's a nice gesture. You should not feel guilty about that at all.
But...and I mean this sincerely. Your DH needs to step up. Cooking a simple meal should just be a matter of reading instructions. I really see no excuse for screwing up Kraft. Also, there are a lot of frozen meals and Sam's club has a lot of fresh meals that only need to be heated. He can manage this. I wouldn't let him off the hook. You need help. He needs to step it up.
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,732
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Sept 28, 2017 20:28:42 GMT
Graciously accept the help. They want to help, and it will make a big difference for you. Consider them a blessing in your need.
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Post by #notLauren on Sept 28, 2017 20:30:44 GMT
Absolutely accept. This is a big part of the fellowship of Churches. It's a lovely gesture and it will certainly help you.
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,516
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Sept 28, 2017 20:31:18 GMT
I think you should gratefully accept. They/she would not have offered if they didn’t want to do it. Especially her offer of a restaurant meal tonight. Don’t you sometimes hear of someone going through a rough time and wish you could help out? Well, that’s what she’s doing. And someday when your hard times are a memory, you can pay it forward.
 Exactly this! Very well said LilyRose.
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 28, 2017 21:14:48 GMT
People want to help. Let them do so.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Sept 28, 2017 21:25:46 GMT
think it's a beautiful idea, but I feel really bad saying yes It is SO SO SO easy to GIVE. Receiving though...that involves acknowledging that you actually need. And that you need help. It involves humility and grateful acceptance. Receiving is as important a lesson as giving. Accept the help you and your DH need right now. You'll have a chance to give to someone else later on...for now, receive and allow someone else the gift of Giving. So true!! We volunteer our time a lot to help those in need. We make stockings for soldiers serving oversees during Christmas, I knit hats and scarves to give to our food pantry and just a few weeks ago we spent our entire weekend loading trucks to send down to Texas and here I am struggling to accept help. We decided to accept the help, even though it's hard. I feel a bit greedy because I can make some stuff for dinners. But it would be less of a burden for us. Tonight we will be enjoying a nice dinner from Red Robin, my boys are thrilled, I think they are tired of pancakes and not properly made mac and cheese as well...LOL. |
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Sept 28, 2017 21:26:52 GMT
I agree with the others that you should accept it. It's a nice gesture. You should not feel guilty about that at all. But...and I mean this sincerely. Your DH needs to step up. Cooking a simple meal should just be a matter of reading instructions. I really see no excuse for screwing up Kraft. Also, there are a lot of frozen meals and Sam's club has a lot of fresh meals that only need to be heated. He can manage this. I wouldn't let him off the hook. You need help. He needs to step it up. He's trying. He's been sick with the flu this week, so I am cutting him a little slack, but yea, reading a box isn't so hard. |
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Post by aljack on Sept 28, 2017 21:26:58 GMT
Yep, let them.
I felt the same after two different surgeries. I even remember not wanting to answer the door because it seemed like if I needed dinner brought to me, then I should not be able to walk downstairs and answer the door. However, I soon learned my co workers and church family wanted to help. I rolled with it. I actually got to the point that I wanted to talk to someone else besides my family. It inspired me to get dressed and not mope in bed all day which doesn’t promote healing.
I know it feels awkward but as mentioned, it was offered out of kindness and willingness to help.
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Sept 28, 2017 21:37:51 GMT
So true!! We volunteer our time a lot to help those in need. This is your blessing coming back to you. You've helped. It's your turn to be helped. When you're feeling better, you'll be able to help again. I can guarantee you that every one of those church members who is signing up to bless you with a meal has been helped by someone else at some point in their lives. This is their turn. Let them take it. Feel better soon! |
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 28, 2017 21:37:59 GMT
Yep, let them. I felt the same after two different surgeries. I even remember not wanting to answer the door because it seemed like if I needed dinner brought to me, then I should not be able to walk downstairs and answer the door. However, I soon learned my co workers and church family wanted to help. I rolled with it. I actually got to the point that I wanted to talk to someone else besides my family. It inspired me to get dressed and not mope in bed all day which doesn’t promote healing. I know it feels awkward but as mentioned, it was offered out of kindness and willingness to help. I'm involved with the meal ministry at our church. Often, the recipients have a cooler on the front porch and we just leave the meal there. No awkward chit chat or answering the door when you aren't looking your best. There's a drop off time and the instructions say whether they want the food hot or if they can reheat it. We use a site called mealtrain.com. If you feel up to a brief visit, you can just answer the door when they bring the food. But the cooler would give you an out if it's a bad day or you are feeling well, but want to spend that time with your family, rather than the food person. |
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on Sept 28, 2017 21:41:27 GMT
Say "yes, please" and "thank you". You can pay it forward when you feel better  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 22, 2024 0:07:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2017 21:42:39 GMT
Badly.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 28, 2017 23:09:16 GMT
I've been on both sides of that equation, and I agree with everyone saying let them help. Really, it's a pretty small thing to do for them if they're already cooking anyway. When I make meals for people, I'd make things that I could easily make two of at once so that I'm cooking for us too at the same time which is something I'd have to do anyway, and just pack the extra one up in foil to drop off.
Last year when I had my first foot surgery, one of our neighbors came by with a few prepped meals for us and I did feel kind of bad accepting the help because DH typically does most of our dinner time meal cooking. Her comment was, "It's always harder to get everything done when you're a person down." She was right. It was a blessing to my husband to not have to cook those few nights since he also had to clean up which is the part I typically do.
(And I also agree that it shouldn't be that difficult to read directions for Easy Mac or to pick up some prepped heat and eat meals at Costco or Sam's, a precooked rotisserie chicken at the grocery, etc. It's really just not that hard.)
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,661
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Sept 28, 2017 23:18:06 GMT
Please do let them help. I know a lady who just lost her husband of many years. She helps the ladies at her church do meals for those in need. She said that right now that is helping her in her grief. She is with the other mostly woman and this is getting her out of the house.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 28, 2017 23:27:27 GMT
I've been the recipient of great compassion and great meals for my family. When I can I pay it forward and I have done so for others. Give your dh the week off. Let him get rid of this flu and if others are willing to cook for you let them. Being ill sucks, but having great support is priceless.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,323
Location: MN
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Post by smcast on Sept 29, 2017 3:16:32 GMT
Yep, let them. I felt the same after two different surgeries. I even remember not wanting to answer the door because it seemed like if I needed dinner brought to me, then I should not be able to walk downstairs and answer the door. However, I soon learned my co workers and church family wanted to help. I rolled with it. I actually got to the point that I wanted to talk to someone else besides my family. It inspired me to get dressed and not mope in bed all day which doesn’t promote healing. I know it feels awkward but as mentioned, it was offered out of kindness and willingness to help. I'm involved with the meal ministry at our church. Often, the recipients have a cooler on the front porch and we just leave the meal there. No awkward chit chat or answering the door when you aren't looking your best. There's a drop off time and the instructions say whether they want the food hot or if they can reheat it. We use a site called mealtrain.com. If you feel up to a brief visit, you can just answer the door when they bring the food. But the cooler would give you an out if it's a bad day or you are feeling well, but want to spend that time with your family, rather than the food person. What a great idea! |
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 29, 2017 14:11:35 GMT
Accept the help. It makes the giver feel so good. It will bring you closer to the friends that reach out to you. Trust me, I know!
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Post by lemondrop on Sept 29, 2017 14:16:11 GMT
Glad to hear that you accepted the help. Feel better soon!
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Exactly this! Very well said LilyRose.
