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Post by stacmac on Sept 30, 2017 15:02:13 GMT
So out of the blue tonight I had a crazy panic attack. I have not had one for so long. I was asleep and woke up with a gasp and it was on. My heart was RACING, my mouth was dry, I couldn't calm it down. My chest started to hurt and I started to feel nauseated and like I was going to die basically. My not so dh was on the computer on his oculus, I went to tell him my heart was beating crazy, he didn't even get off to start with. I tried walking around the house instead, gave the kids a kiss, tucked them in again, meanwhile my heart is still going NUTS. I started getting that weird out of body feeling, just feeling awful, went back to hubby, told him I need help. I'm starting to feel I'm having an svt or a heart attack. He says he'll get off the computer in minute and feels my heart.tells me again to sit and relax. I tell him over been laying and relaxing and breathing and it's not helping. I want to call an ambulance. Now I actually really start panicking. I decided to call an ambulance  now hubby gets off computer and is angry because I'm calling an ambulance for a panic attack and I know he's right, but for God's sake I needed help Of course, two minutes later I begin to feel a bit better. My heart rate is back to normal now. I call and cancel ambulance asap of course. Just had to sit through a huge lecture from husband. I know he's right about calling.... But for God's sake, I feel so alone. I need someone who's familiar with panic attacks to please tell me I'm not crazy. I'm so worried one day something will happen and he won't believe me because he'll think it's 'just a panic attack'. I feel like I've ruined everything and I'm a bad person. |
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Post by psoccer on Sept 30, 2017 15:09:13 GMT
You are not crazy. I find that if I take big gulps of water it helps to calm me down. Mine come and go. I can go years without them and then BAM! they come on. The worst is when they are in the car. I literally want to strip off all my clothes and jump out of the car.
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Post by annie on Sept 30, 2017 15:14:39 GMT
Shame on your husband! Makes me so mad for you. How dare he lecture you when he ignored you!
My daughter gets panic attacks, so I know how awful they can be!!
I think you need to have a come to Jesus talk with your DH about your needs and how he needs to support you.
Big (((hugs)))!
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Post by stacmac on Sept 30, 2017 15:18:54 GMT
Shame on your husband! Makes me so mad for you. How dare he lecture you when he ignored you! My daughter gets panic attacks, so I know how awful they can be!! I think you need to have a come to Jesus talk with your DH about your needs and how he needs to support you. Big (((hugs)))! He just has no idea. Absolutely no idea. He thinks he is helping by minimising it. He thinks of he makes a big deal out of it I will get worse or something. He didn't want to give it attention. |
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Post by stacmac on Sept 30, 2017 15:19:21 GMT
I'm going to try and get some sleep. What an awful night.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Sept 30, 2017 15:21:09 GMT
Hugs.
Stop thinking that you are a bad person because this happened to you. You didn't choose to have panic. Your husband did choose to ignore you. You need to have a conversation about that.
Talk to a doctor about coping strategies if this were to happen again. Make sure your dh is on the same page and understands exactly what panic attacks are.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,427
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 30, 2017 16:03:25 GMT
I'm so sorry your not so DH is being an ass about your very real panic attacks! He needs to get a grip and help you!
I get them. Mine too come out of the blue. I shake, get nauseous, flushed, blazing hot, tingly, diarrhea, vomiting. It's awful! When mine hit, I can do nothing but breathe and tell myself I haven't died from one yet so this one isn't going to kill me either.
Any chance you can get some xanax to keep on hand. Just the lowest dosage. I find that when I start to feel it creeping in, I can take one and it helps keep it to a minimum. If the panic attack has become full blown, I often need 2. That said, I haven't had a prescription for 7 years because I've been busy being pregnant, nursing, trying to get pregnant, and nursing again. Once I'm done nursing this kiddo (March 8, 2018 is the deadline for him! LOL) I will get my prescription refilled. For now, when I get them, I just ride them out. Not fun in the least!
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Post by peatlejuice on Sept 30, 2017 16:03:44 GMT
Panic attacks often have similar symptoms as heart attacks in women. Just because you've had panic attacks before doesn't mean the next one won't be a heart attack. Your husband is an asshole and you did the right thing in calling the ambulance for help.
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Sept 30, 2017 16:07:55 GMT
I'm sorry. Panic attacks while you are sleeping are the worst. When I am awake, I can rationize things to myself and slow them down, but I can't when I wake up like that at all.
I called the ambulance last year for the same thing. My blood pressure was up to 200/110 (it's usually normal) and would not go down so I was pretty sure I was dying. They did an EKG and took me to the ER for a few more tests. Just a panic attack. I think it scared the shit out of husband, who had been incredibly dismissive about my issues with anxiety and panic attacks. He has been a bit more supportive/empathetic, which has been the upside of it.
I am sorry your husband is being a jerk about it. If you have never had a panic attack before, you just don't understand the powerlessness and terror of it.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Sept 30, 2017 16:14:40 GMT
I will admit something. I have someone close to me that has panic attacks (not children or spouse) and when I used to try and be supportive everything I said or suggested was wrong. Sit here and I will get you something to drink "NO that doesn't work". Here take a deep breath and let it out slowly "no that doesn't work", Why don't we go for a walk "No....". So I got to the point that I essentially ignore her when she's having an attack and let her work through it herself. It's not that I don't want to be supportive but hell she made me feel like I was intentionally trying to make it worse.
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Post by tracyarts on Sept 30, 2017 16:16:57 GMT
I've gone to the ER during a panic attack. I had pain and a strong squeezing sensation in my chest, my heart felt jumpy, my arms went weak and tingly, I was having trouble breathing, my ears were ringing, I had spotty vision, my head felt like it was under pressure inside, I couldn't speak well, and my legs were so weak that I could barely walk.
I was certain that I was having a heart attack, or another stroke, but it was a panic attack.
Something to keep in mind, panic attacks are not "all in your head". The things you feel are real, and actually happening to your body. You're not imagining the chest pain, lightheadedness, weakness, numbness, etc...
And the frustrating thing, panic attacks can mimic medical emergencies and it's very hard to determine the difference sometimes. I know what my panic attacks feel like most of the time, but every once in a while I just don't know what's happening to my body. My husband knows what to look for in terms of a true medical emergency, and has had to check me out a few times.
Even as such, I've been told that if my gut feeling says go to the ER, go. I haven't been since that one time, but have come close.
Your husband needs to be made to understand that this is 100% real. You don't think you're having serious physical symptoms, you *ARE* having serious physical symptoms.
As far as how to manage it? I'm a big fan of guided meditation and breathing exercises, along with a rescue medication for times when breathing it out or repeating a mantra just isn't enough to stop the attack from escalating.
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deanna
Junior Member
Posts: 71 
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Post by deanna on Sept 30, 2017 16:33:59 GMT
My niece had what they called panic attacks since she was a young teen. They took her to the hospital several times--and was told: "it's JUST a panic attack." (JUST a panic attack?) Anyhow, they gave her Xanax off and on to relieve the symptoms. She's in her late 40's now. She still was having these episodes--so another doctor has now diagnosed her with an auto-immune problem. Apparently, it's quite a new diagnosis, but it's similar to sleep apnea, but she's not sleeping. And also apparently, according to this doctor, Xanax could have killed her--She's going to be in a study group soon, and see if there is something that will work for her. She recently had to have surgery--and the doctors were afraid to give her anesthesia! She had to have someone with her for 24 hours AFTER the surgery to make sure they kept her breathing. So the phrase "JUST a panic attack" really gets me. "just a panic attack" is bad enough, but it MIGHT be something else entirely. Doctors are very dismissive at times!!
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Post by pherena on Sept 30, 2017 16:50:08 GMT
You're not crazy, and you know you're not. When you're in the middle of an attack, you are not the rational person you normally are. It's been years since I've had one, too, and they are awful. In addition to that "out of body" sensation, I would have the overwhelming feeling that I was going to die. Literally die. I know how bad they are. You hang in there. Knowing what they are and that they will pass can be a small help, but just know that you're not alone.
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
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Post by Grom Pea on Sept 30, 2017 17:11:05 GMT
How awful that your husband was dismissive. You should have a discussion about should this happen again, how he should support you. Just because he thinks he should minimize it, doesn't mean that's what works best for you. I guess I'm lucky that my only attacks have a specific trigger (rollercoasters or thrill rides with high acceleration). Even though I figured it out, I'm unable to control it so I don't go on rollercoasters anymore. It's a terrible, real, feeling and you have every right to have called an ambulance, it really does feel like you're about to pass out from lack of air.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 8:02:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2017 17:27:31 GMT
You're not crazy. Panic attacks are real and real scary, but, when you say "I need help" what exactly do you need him to do to help?
Your actions of walking around, tucking/kissing kids, etc seems like you aren't all that worried about it being more than a panic attack. Tell him exactly what you want from him such as "I need you to take me to the ER"
Having a panic attack shouldn't ruin everything. But having unrealistic expectations from other will ruin a relationship. Don't expect him to know what a very vague "I need help" means if you have never discussed how to help you in a panic attack. This isn't meant to be an additional lecture, it is the experience from the other side of caring for someone that asks for help then shoots down every seemingly helpful idea but won't tell me what to do that will help. I'll eventually get rather calloused about helping as I think you would with someone doing the same to you.
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Post by pb on Sept 30, 2017 17:49:18 GMT
My therapist had me write down four things to do in a panic attack on the back of her card. The first was "pull over and stop" as I tended, at that time, to have them driving. It sounds funny to make that the first one but I would visualize the card in my head. There was breathe, there was call my husband and I don't remember the fourth.
Now my list is not written down but I go through a process and have a routine really helps.
I have never felt bad enough to feel like I had to go to ER so that adds a complexity to the whole thing.
We also use a descriptive scale, part way up the wall, half-way, on the ceiling, on the ceiling clinging with all my might, and on the ceiling about to fall down. That gives my husband and my adult sons some awareness of how bad it is and how much involvement might be needed.
I also do on-line jigsaw puzzles because I find it relaxing to align the neurons in my brain. That, a lot of mindfulness, breathing and medication. I have been know to premedicate if I feel rumblings.
Sending big hugs
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PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Sept 30, 2017 18:04:38 GMT
I had no idea panic attacks could come out of nowhere and while someone is sleeping. I thought they were more like a reaction to something that someone got worked up over. How scary.
Anyeay, I feel like his dismissiveness could make it worse for you. Would you agree? I can imagine feeling like you're dying and begging for help and no one throws you a rope. You're already struggling, and I can imagine that just makes it worse. I bet even just validation and silent support would have helped.
I would spell out in perfectly clear terms what you expect from him as a partner. I'd even write it down so it's idiot-proof:
1) stop what you are doing quickly if possible. (Continuing to play games isn't reasonable)
2) give me your undevided attention
3) ask me what I can do for you (hug me, run a bath, drive to ER)
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,427
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 30, 2017 18:04:46 GMT
I will admit something. I have someone close to me that has panic attacks (not children or spouse) and when I used to try and be supportive everything I said or suggested was wrong. Sit here and I will get you something to drink "NO that doesn't work". Here take a deep breath and let it out slowly "no that doesn't work", Why don't we go for a walk "No....". So I got to the point that I essentially ignore her when she's having an attack and let her work through it herself. It's not that I don't want to be supportive but hell she made me feel like I was intentionally trying to make it worse. I get that. When I am having one, the best thing for ME is to just be left alone. Don't touch me, don't try to get me anything, just be there in case I DO need something.  |
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Sept 30, 2017 18:19:15 GMT
I'm sorry you're going through this. Panic attacks are terrifying! They have the same symptoms as a heart attack so I've been to the ER a few times. I'm to the point now where I can control most of them by drinking a glass of cold water - I think the sensation of the cold is a shock to the pain in my chest and calms the pain.
At one point my doctor gave me some paperwork on panic attacks and how to manage them, most was typical info such as try to relax, meditation, etc, but one stuck with me. Basically it was: nobody has ever died from a panic attack and to focus on the pain as you ride it out. I thought it was stupid but then I tried it and focused on the pain as it constricted up and down my chest and let go of the fear I was dying. It helped as a distraction.
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Post by tracyarts on Sept 30, 2017 21:01:02 GMT
I had no idea panic attacks could come out of nowhere and while someone is sleeping. The one that sent me to the ER started while I was sleeping. I woke up from a sound sleep to a very strong panic attack and that made it seem all the more a medical emergency. You're disoriented and can't pinpoint a cause for how you're feeling. It really catches you off guard. Waking up to a panic attack can be a perimenopause thing because of hormone fluctuations. My SIL and I both are dealing with it. It can also be related to things like sleep apnea, but that was ruled out in my case. I'll be sleeping soundly and peacefully, then be jolted awake to a panic attack in progress, and sometimes a hot flash or night sweat along with it. It can happen multiple times a night or during a nap. And then not happen again for days to a couple of weeks. And then start up again. I have had anxiety since my 20s, but only started having panic attacks after starting perimenopause in my mid 40s. I'm hoping that after it's all said and done and my hormones level back off, the panic attacks will end too. |
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Post by Lexica on Oct 1, 2017 1:23:14 GMT
I am sorry your husband made you feel that you had done something wrong. I agree with the posts about being specific with what you need him to do for you, even if it is to just sit with you and hold your hand as you work through it.
I started having panic attacks after being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I didn't know at that time that fibro can bring panic attacks along with the other fun symptoms. I just had no idea what was happening to me. I had been laying on the couch and quietly reading a book when it came on. I tried standing, walking, focusing on my breathing, etc. and non of it helped. I just had to ride it out. By the date of my next doctor's appointment, I had had several episodes and read on line that these episodes can be caused by fibromyalgia. I discussed it with him and he put me on an anti anxiety medication. I am not big on taking lots of pills, but those episodes were so terrifying that I agreed to take the medications to avoid them. I haven't had another one since I started the meds.
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now hubby gets off computer and is angry because I'm calling an ambulance for a panic attack and I know he's right, but for God's sake I needed help 
