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Post by Kelpea on Aug 31, 2014 20:38:21 GMT
UPDATE...pretty good news. The neighbor who taped? DH went over to chat with him. According to the neighbor, there was no typical loud party noises, and in fact, only a small number of kids at the house. He took pics in case of a potential for damage to his property or other property, and that's pretty much it. He told DH his own daughter had thrown a huge bash about ten years ago and he was just being proactive, and when he realized my other neighbor/friend was monitoring the situation with the police, he backed out. He and DH shook hands, and all is well. Our senior (HS) daughter just joined the "I'm throwing a get-together 'cause my parents are out of town" club. Teens are stupid sometimes; the whole frontal lobe thing and all that.  She had about 20 kids over in total. We found out about it two hours into their party; my neighbor called my husband and I while it was happening, as the police were at the house. My husband stayed on the phone with the police and everything was handled to everyone's satisfaction. No vandalism, no screaming around the neighborhood; etc. In fact the kids were indoors and were too afraid to open the door to anyone, much less the police. We just found out from our daughter and three friends who were also there that an older gentleman, a neighbor catty-corner to our home, was walking up and down the sidewalk in FRONT OF OUR HOUSE videotaping the kids coming into the house as they arrived to the party. It turns out he scared the kids, maybe because he wasn't talking with them or anything; just pacing back and forth on our sidewalk, taping them. My daughter initially didn't know who he was, and was pretty freaked out. Why on earth would this guy be taping them? Evidence for the police? For us? He hasn't come over to our home to discuss the matter and we've been back for a day and a half. My husband will likely pop over later and in a friendly manner, ask if he could get a copy of the photos/video in case we need it for if the party blows up in our faces. Any of you guys have an idea about why this guy taped them?
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,524
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Aug 31, 2014 20:47:50 GMT
Sounds like he was just trying to scare them, and it worked.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 31, 2014 20:48:00 GMT
Kids throw an unsupervised party that the parents don't know about and you wonder why a neighbor is out in front of the house making his presence known?
He didn't tape them discreetly. He was quite obvious about what he was doing.
Sounds to me like he was showing the kids that there actually was an adult there watching them.
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Post by greenlegume on Aug 31, 2014 20:48:48 GMT
Kids throw an unsupervised party that the parents don't know about and you wonder why a neighbor is out in front of the house making his presence known? He didn't tape them discreetly. He was quite obvious about what he was doing. Sounds to me like he was showing the kids that there actually was an adult there watching them.  |
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,556 
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Post by cycworker on Aug 31, 2014 20:50:55 GMT
Lefty et al - I see what you're saying, but if that's true, why hasn't be checked in with the homeowners?
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ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,182
Location: Valley of the Sun
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Aug 31, 2014 20:52:22 GMT
Maybe he was taping to show you evidence but since the police showed up later, he figured you already knew?
I dunno. I still think it's weird but if you know him, you can go ask him since he was so blatantly recording.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 31, 2014 20:54:03 GMT
Lefty et al - I see what you're saying, but if that's true, why hasn't be checked in with the homeowners? He doesn't need to check in with the homeowners in order to accomplish the goal of letting the kids know an adult noticed and was watching. |
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 31, 2014 20:56:05 GMT
I think you have to assume anything you do in public nowadays can be taped. If it were me, I'd ask her if there is anything else she wants to tell you before your husband goes over there.
Btw, who called the police and why? If all the kids were quiet and indoors it doesn't make sense.
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Post by Kelpea on Aug 31, 2014 20:57:05 GMT
I'm pretty sure the kids were already afraid, lol, as they received notice the police were on their way; the guessed the neighbor had contacted the police while he was taping them.
As mentioned, an actual "friend" neighbor was on the phone with us the entire time the police were in attendance. By the time the police had arrived, in fact, the taper had beaten a path out of there. My neighbor who was working with us (as was a police officer who was also on the phone with us), was clearly helping out in the situation.
We're not exactly pals with the older neighbor; I was just posting to see what you all thought. As I mentioned, my husband will be popping over later.
Oops; edited to add; we've already had a discussion with six of the kids' families; we have all names and anything else pertinent to the situation. In fact, they met us at the house today to further discuss.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2014 20:59:07 GMT
Maybe he knew you weren't home, saw your daughter was having a party with lots of teenagers, and wanted to tape everyone arriving just in case something went terribly wrong (party got out of control, someone was hurt, violence, etc) so there would be evidence of who was there?
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Post by Kelpea on Aug 31, 2014 21:00:44 GMT
That's certainly plausible, Ashley, but we didn't tell him we were leaving town; just the friend who was watching our home for us and who was our liaison with the police at the time of the incident. I just felt the guy was kind of creepy. My $.02.
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
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Post by gloryjoy on Aug 31, 2014 21:01:42 GMT
Maybe he knew you weren't home, saw your daughter was having a party with lots of teenagers, and wanted to tape everyone arriving just in case something went terribly wrong (party got out of control, someone was hurt, violence, etc) so there would be evidence of who was there? These are my thoughts as well. |
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 31, 2014 21:01:43 GMT
Lefty et al - I see what you're saying, but if that's true, why hasn't be checked in with the homeowners? Why should he? He made his presence known. The police came. The parents were notified. The party was kept under control. Now, maybe he considers it over. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2014 21:07:06 GMT
That's certainly plausible, Ashley, but we didn't tell him we were leaving town; just the friend who was watching our home for us and who was our liaison with the police at the time of the incident. I just felt the guy was kind of creepy. My $.02. My neighbours don't tell me when they're leaving town, but I know when they aren't home or gone away. It's not that hard to tell. I usually see them loading up their car, or notice that their vehicle/main vehicle is gone. |
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Aug 31, 2014 21:07:47 GMT
If he had no idea parents weren't home , why did he video the kids? That seems an invasion of privacy.
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Post by transprntbutterfly on Aug 31, 2014 21:08:46 GMT
That's kind of creepy. I would just go and ask him why he was video taping the people coming to your house. He doesn't know, or didn't know at the time, if you DD had permission for the party or not.
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Post by SabrinaM on Aug 31, 2014 21:11:44 GMT
That would bother me a great deal. I'm glad your husband plans to chat with him about it.
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tracylynn
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Post by tracylynn on Aug 31, 2014 21:13:53 GMT
If he wasn't making a secret of the fact that he was taping them, I don't see the problem. Like others have said, that was probably the point. He was out in the open, not hiding, not being creepy. Mostly probably making the point that he knew you were out of town and he knew your daughter probably shouldn't be having that many friends over. He's very likely the one who called the police. I'd say leave it be. He probably accomplished his goal - no need to talk to you about it.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 31, 2014 21:14:06 GMT
I think you need to be more concerned with neighbors that tape your kids discreetly than someone who is making an obvious show to teenagers that may be about to create a big disturbance.
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 31, 2014 21:21:23 GMT
Hasn't happened here- yet. The joys of parenting teens. Even the most responsible can become a lug nut.
Maybe he didn't really record anything, just wanted to scare them?
If he did record, ask for original not a copy. Not that you'll know if he's given it to you... And I'd buy him a new tape or memory card.
Good luck to all, may we survive teenagers.
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Country Ham
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Posts: 3,316
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Aug 31, 2014 21:24:19 GMT
Why were the police called?
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Post by cindyupnorth on Aug 31, 2014 21:26:06 GMT
"I think you need to be more concerned with neighbors that tape your kids discreetly than someone who is making an obvious show to teenagers that may be about to create a big disturbance."
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I'm going to add that maybe you should be more concerned with the idea that your kids thought it was ok to have a party when you weren't home, then the neighbor. Deflection?
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IPeaFreely
Full Member
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Location: Castle Frankenstein
Jun 26, 2014 8:32:27 GMT
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Post by IPeaFreely on Aug 31, 2014 21:27:12 GMT
Ask him if he has taped any other parties at your house. I'm betting he has. He could be collecting evidence before he makes a complaint about noise or underage teens being out of control.
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,556
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Post by cycworker on Aug 31, 2014 21:32:00 GMT
I still think it's creepy and I'm glad Kelpea's husband is going to talk to the guy. I would want that recording destroyed.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,203
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Aug 31, 2014 21:33:10 GMT
Whilst I think it is odd behaviour it may have been a better option to him than confronting a large group of teens.
How did he know to start taping? I would be asking DD how quiet or loud her friends were when they arrived. Chances are they were loud and brought attention to themselves.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 31, 2014 21:41:21 GMT
Lefty et al - I see what you're saying, but if that's true, why hasn't be checked in with the homeowners? I've been that neighbor 'almost' ( no taping ). Years ago my neighbor's teens had a bunch of boys over on one of the Jewish holidays. ( no school, parents at work) I can see the neighbors back yard from my kitchen. They were loud and obnoxious in the back yard, then the boys started playing rough and I didn't like what they were doing. They were playing touchy grabby 'football' 2 boys per teen girl. But they boys kept tackling the girls 2:1 and grabbing at their clothes/ bodies etc. It was getting way out of hand IMHO. The girls were shrieking and yelling. So I went outside and stood on my deck watching them with my cordless phone in my hand and looked like I was dialing, (Not cel phone ) took less than a minute for those boys to stop and clear out. I've never been sure if the girl was happy about that or not, I know her friend was because her friend thanked me when she left later. I did not go over and speak to the parents. My goal was for the crap to stop, and the extra kids to go home, not to get the neighbor kids in trouble. In fact I have no idea if they would have been in trouble maybe the parents knew the friends were coming over. ( had I known who the boys were their parents I would have called because they were so far out if line if you asked me. ) |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2014 21:48:31 GMT
He probably prevented a much larger party and larger problems. Personally I would go over and thank him for caring. I would hope that my neighbors would look out for my kids and our 'hood like this. If the kids were doing nothing wrong, then they had nothing to worry about.
But I do have to wonder what got him out there in the first place and why the police were called. 20 kids at one house doesn't automatically bring police. I suspect the parents aren't getting the whole story, especially if the kids were warned the cops were on the way and had time to clean up/hide stuff etc. |
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Post by 1lear on Aug 31, 2014 21:53:30 GMT
Yes, I'm thinking the kids weren't as quiet as you think and he was trying to get them to leave. The kids may have been parking in front of his house, loudly playing their music in their car, and he wanted to scare them. I don't fault him at all.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2014 22:00:32 GMT
He noticed something was not "normal" for your house, your street etc.
Maybe he's noticed this kind of thing before (that you never found out about) and this time, wanted to record the incident. Maybe he saw one of the kids selling drugs from their vehicle.
We want our neighbors to have our backs and take notice when things aren't as they normally are...IMO, it sounds exactly what this guy did.
I think both you and your DH should go over and thank him for noticing that things weren't quite right. I'd not address the recording necessarily, but he may bring it up. I'd go over with the attitude of thanking him and not giving him the 3rd degree or demanding the tape or memory card.
What kind of consequence did your DD get? Was your DS home too or was he with you out of town? |
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Post by magentapea on Aug 31, 2014 22:05:12 GMT
I'm going to add that maybe you should be more concerned with the idea that your kids thought it was ok to have a party when you weren't home, then the neighbor. Deflection?
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I agree. It sounds like you are more upset about someone openly videotaping IN PUBLIC (i.e. not through your windows) than you are about the fact that your teenager had a party and the police were involved!
How many times do you hear stories about teenager's parties trashing the house and doing tens of thousands of dollars in damage? He may have been trying to prevent that kind of damage to your or someone else's property, or at the very least be able to show the police the suspects in that event. |
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