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Post by peano on Oct 6, 2017 19:44:50 GMT
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And I thought it was interesting the author mentioned the Jimmy Kimmel monologue after the shooting—because what I noticed in that same monologue was that Jimmy APOLOGIZED. APOLOGIZED for getting teary-eyed and emotional. What does it say about our expectations of men in this society that they are expected NOT to get emotional about the mass killing of 58 people? All the primary males in my life are almost totally cut off from their feelings. It worries me and makes me sad. Peas have been looking for reasons for this latest horror. I think this piece has some truth to it.
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,736
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Oct 6, 2017 20:14:10 GMT
I see it all over the place. A classmate of my daughter's was never allowed to do anything with friends after school. He had to study and practice piano. His mother would sit over him for hours critiquing every note he played. He was not allowed to ever just hang out. Every minute had to be spent on a worthy purpose (with the intent of getting into a top college.) He did not get into the schools of his choice, and his parents actually told him they were disappointed in him. He was such a sad and lonely boy. His mental health must be so precarious.
ETA: I think this piece has some merit. When I was a kid, free play outside was the norm. My mom was a great mom, but she sure didn't keep watch over me every minute. I remember bringing bits and pieces of nature home, and my dad would talk to me about what I found, and we'd go to the library to look things up. Not everything had a purpose -- it was just fun to figure out what I found.
I've digressed with anecdotes, but I think that stifling people from love, play, and friends can certainly lead to loneliness and depression, and even in the extreme to murder.
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Post by papersilly on Oct 6, 2017 20:55:43 GMT
I see it all over the place. A classmate of my daughter's was never allowed to do anything with friends after school. He had to study and practice piano. His mother would sit over him for hours critiquing every note he played. He was not allowed to ever just hang out. Every minute had to be spent on a worthy purpose (with the intent of getting into a top college.) He did not get into the schools of his choice, and his parents actually told him they were disappointed in him. He was such a sad and lonely boy. His mental health must be so precarious.. Sounds like the Asian household I grew up in. Lol . For us, that was the norm. Especially with immigrant parent who wanted more for you. I disagree that it would leave someone with a precarious mental state. It actually serves as the opposite. It makes you tougher and better able to cope with some of life's disappointments. None of the other kids I know who grew up this way wound up being a mass shooter. If you can survive a Tiger mom, you can survive anything. Besides, Bringing that kind of shame to the family is worse than not getting into that preferred school. That's half joke, half absolutely dead serious. DH grew up in that go-outside-and-play kind of world. We like to tease him by calling him a free range chicken. |
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,736
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Oct 7, 2017 1:24:01 GMT
I see it all over the place. A classmate of my daughter's was never allowed to do anything with friends after school. He had to study and practice piano. His mother would sit over him for hours critiquing every note he played. He was not allowed to ever just hang out. Every minute had to be spent on a worthy purpose (with the intent of getting into a top college.) He did not get into the schools of his choice, and his parents actually told him they were disappointed in him. He was such a sad and lonely boy. His mental health must be so precarious.. Sounds like the Asian household I grew up in. Lol . For us, that was the norm. Especially with immigrant parent who wanted more for you. I disagree that it would leave someone with a precarious mental state. It actually serves as the opposite. It makes you tougher and better able to cope with some of life's disappointments. None of the other kids I know who grew up this way wound up being a mass shooter. If you can survive a Tiger mom, you can survive anything. Besides, Bringing that kind of shame to the family is worse than not getting into that preferred school. That's half joke, half absolutely dead serious. DH grew up in that go-outside-and-play kind of world. We like to tease him by calling him a free range chicken. True, his parents were immigrants from India. But they were seriously awful -- there really wasn't any love to be seen; it was a very sad situation. That' why I said I think he might be mentally precarious. I know families with "tiger moms" and even though they are super tough, the love shines through and family is everything. I'm not sure that such a structured life is for my family, but still, having the support of your family is most important. OMG, I can't even imagine what our family would be like if one of my kids was a mass shooter. I don't even want think about it. I was totally brought up as a free-range kid, and so were my kids, LOL. We're all pretty easy going. |
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