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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 26, 2017 2:41:56 GMT
There was a debate on a FB page of mine about Halloween. At our school only K through 2 can dress up and it is only for a parade near the end of the day. All the littles dress up and they parade around the school for all the other kids to see. All the other grades (3rd - 8th) have classroom parties or activities, depending what the teachers do. That said all other classes have 'their' own thing as well, so it isn't like K-2 get all the fun. One or two class grades get a Valentine's Dance, and so forth.
So a mom posts on FB for parents who are part of this FB page, NOT ran by the school. Totally a parents page outside school. Mostly people ask questions if there is a free dress day or parking gripes or whatnot... this topic got out of control a bit.
Anyways, the question was 'why do only the K-2 kids get to dress up? It's not fair'... (to condense her story)
Some posted 'it's always been that way, I don't know why' Some posted "other classes get their own fun day different ways" Some posted other comments. (I can't remember exactly what because the post was deleted by the original poster) but along questioning like that.
It got a little heated because those who just agree to the policy say that is the way it is, who cares.. Why make a mole hill into a mountain. And basically said life isn't fair. The others agreed with her and said not fair.
Then she is getting mad because everyone isn't agreeing and going on and on about how her son (4th grader) is so bummed out he can't wear his costume to school (which NONE of them can.... only for the parade)... then she goes on about it being discriminatory.
One mom said that is a crock because what about the kids who's parents won't let them celebrate because of religious or personal beliefs about Halloween. Are those kids being discriminated? Should the school just cancel it all because 3 kids (or whatever the number is) can't participate?
So curious what ya'll think... I'm not saying which side I am on (although you might be able to tell because how I wrote this..lol??) Also just a coincident, my DD is in the same grade, 4th.
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garcia5050
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Post by garcia5050 on Oct 26, 2017 2:53:31 GMT
Not every kid gets to do everything. When my kids started elementary, only the kinders got to put on a costume during school hours and parade around. Older kids always tended to break the rules (nothing scary), and the rules could be subjective, so it was easier to do away with the benefit for them. While my kids were there, parents complained about the same thing, so the PTA said they would put on an evening event, if enough parents volunteered. The evening event was made into an annual event, and eventually, all kids, including the kinders could only dress at the evening event. Either way was ok for me.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Oct 26, 2017 2:53:40 GMT
This is the sort of thing that makes me glad I don't have kids.
First of all, stop teaching your children to expect life to be "fair." It's not.
Second of all, you know a really good way to make sure NO ONE can dress up? Start complaining about the ones who can.
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kate
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Oct 26, 2017 2:54:36 GMT
I hate costumes at school. Minimally, they are a huge distraction. In the worst cases, they are quite dangerous (imagine 4-yr-olds in floor-length princess dresses negotiating the stairs or running on the playground). Inevitably, props such as Harry Potter wands, sparkly crowns, and detachable superhero capes end up lost.
I vote that costumes be banned at school. The parents can arrange an after-school or weekend party if they're desperate to share costumes with school friends.
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Post by myshelly on Oct 26, 2017 2:57:00 GMT
Can I have an option for Halloween should be a national holiday and therefore no school on Halloween?
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 26, 2017 2:57:35 GMT
I think it would be nice to let all kids who want to dress up for their party. Really, if you are stopping instruction for a party and to see a parade, there isn't much of a deal to let all the kids dress in school appropriate costumes.
It is always funny to me to see this type of thing. The elementary school did away with not only costumes, but Halloween parties too, yet the high school is totally okay with students coming to school and wearing costumes all day as long as they are school appropriate.
In no way would I take this to the school board. I would agree with talking to the principal about the reasonings and see if things could change. Work within the school. And then, suck it up and follow whatever is decided.
It is one freaking afternoon, get over it (parent). At the same time, I would see the split being elementary/middle not 2nd/3rd
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SabrinaP
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Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Oct 26, 2017 2:57:58 GMT
I hate costumes at school. Minimally, they are a huge distraction. In the worst cases, they are quite dangerous (imagine 4-yr-olds in floor-length princess dresses negotiating the stairs or running on the playground). Inevitably, props such as Harry Potter wands, sparkly crowns, and detachable superhero capes end up lost. I vote that costumes be banned at school. The parents can arrange an after-school or weekend party if they're desperate to share costumes with school friends. Agree! I just don’t get Halloween at school. Kids often start shedding their costumes before the day is over. I like the years when we don’t dress up for Halloween at school.
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SabrinaP
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Post by SabrinaP on Oct 26, 2017 2:58:20 GMT
Can I have an option for Halloween should be a national holiday and therefore no school on Halloween? And the day after too!
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 26, 2017 2:59:06 GMT
Can I have an option for Halloween should be a national holiday and therefore no school on Halloween? I'd rather it be the day after Halloween
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 26, 2017 2:59:53 GMT
We used to have a HUGE 'Fall Festival" and it was awesome.. All kids wore costumes, there was bouncy houses, mazes (inside and outside the school), there was TONS of stuff to do. But of course, only the same people volunteered and that started causing friction. Then the family who provided all the decorations (they were REALLLLLLYYYY big Halloween fans, meaning they had a warehouse of stuff) and they moved.. It all fizzled out.
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Post by utpea on Oct 26, 2017 3:02:34 GMT
I know wearing costumes at school are a hassle, but it is something that most kids love to do. To minimize the difficulty of children running around in Halloween gear all day, our elementary school would have a parade near the end of the day. Each classroom had their own party and afterwards, the parent volunteers from the party helped the kids change into their costumes for the school parade. After the parade was over, kids changed back into their regular clothes and then it was time to go home.
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Deleted
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May 21, 2024 16:14:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2017 3:03:54 GMT
I think times have changed such that school is no longer the place for things like Halloween, Valentines Day, etc. parties. (PS, I'm 58) And even though there is no doubt I'm a Christian, I don't think Christmas, Hanukkah, other religious celebrations are appropriate any more either. There are enough other venues for these types of celebrations and little enough real teaching going on in the schools.
Not sure if that answers your question. My two-cents worth, anyway.
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 26, 2017 3:04:32 GMT
IME, kids had less interest in dressing up for school around 3rd/4th grade because of the costume restrictions (no masks, nothing hand held, etc.). They didn't want to get a lame second costume that met the rules and didn't want to wear a stripped down costume. DS was the Grim Reaper during these years and without his mask & scythe risked being mistaken for Harry Potter.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 26, 2017 3:07:22 GMT
I can kind of see it from both sides. On the one hand, the little kids probably have a little more leeway in their schedule to accommodate the distraction that costumes at school bring. On the other hand, how many times a year is there something purely fun for kids to celebrate? Having said that, I’m glad that our school allows all of the kids to dress up (nothing scary, no weapons, no masks, no makeup) if they want to for their one hour long class party. They are encouraged to bring a change of clothes to change into after the party. I volunteered to help out last year and the kids all had a BLAST. They did crafts, had fun games and the kids got a bunch of little non candy treats. Another cool thing was that the teachers set up a backdrop and took individual photos of the kids in their costumes to put in their end of year portfolios. So fun!
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 26, 2017 3:07:41 GMT
Well I will spill my thoughts and basically not every kid gets to do everything. Life isn't fair. My suggestion to the mom, have your own Halloween party and invite the kids over to your house.
My daughter (like I said is in 4th grade as well) would love to wear her costume. Does she complain? Not really. She knows she can't and that is the end of it.
This mom couldn't get past how disappointed he was that his friends couldn't see his costume and he should continue the fight and make it so they all can wear costumes. It was really over the top.
Personally I hate the thought of getting the costume all ready for school and all that, then have to do it all over again that night.. then what if she loses a piece of it. (one year in preschool her costume didn't even make it home--thank her dad on that one!)... a party is fine by me.. without costumes!
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 26, 2017 3:09:20 GMT
I think times have changed such that school is no longer the place for things like Halloween, Valentines Day, etc. parties. (PS, I'm 58) And even though there is no doubt I'm a Christian, I don't think Christmas, Hanukkah, other religious celebrations are appropriate any more either. There are enough other venues for these types of celebrations and little enough real teaching going on in the schools. Not sure if that answers your question. My two-cents worth, anyway. I think it is sad that we think about taking these things away from children. So many kids have such great memories of them. For some, it is the best memory of grade school. There is a shared cultural experience that we keep shrinking all the time. For instance, you are 58, I am 40, DS is 16, my niece is 6 and all of us have participated in a Valentine's or Halloween party. My assumption is that you and I also probably went to schools in different states.
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Deleted
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May 21, 2024 16:14:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2017 3:10:07 GMT
Our school had all the kids dress up and participate in a parade. As a parent, it was a bit of a pain to have to buy costumes for kids through 8th grade, but my kids enjoyed it so there was that. Regarding the OP, I would let the K-2 have their moment, maybe even change the rule to 3-5, but I wouldn't require the grades who don't wear costumes to watch the parade.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 26, 2017 3:12:46 GMT
I know wearing costumes at school are a hassle, but it is something that most kids love to do. To minimize the difficulty of children running around in Halloween gear all day, our elementary school would have a parade near the end of the day. Each classroom had their own party and afterwards, the parent volunteers from the party helped the kids change into their costumes for the school parade. After the parade was over, kids changed back into their regular clothes and then it was time to go home. Our school solves the problem by letting the kids wear their costumes to school, they have the party in the morning, and then the kids change back into street clothes after their class party. They still get the fun of dressing up without having a whole day of distractions, tripping, etc. from being in costumes.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 26, 2017 3:21:12 GMT
I think times have changed such that school is no longer the place for things like Halloween, Valentines Day, etc. parties. (PS, I'm 58) And even though there is no doubt I'm a Christian, I don't think Christmas, Hanukkah, other religious celebrations are appropriate any more either. There are enough other venues for these types of celebrations and little enough real teaching going on in the schools. Not sure if that answers your question. My two-cents worth, anyway. I think it is sad that we think about taking these things away from children. So many kids have such great memories of them. For some, it is the best memory of grade school. There is a shared cultural experience that we keep shrinking all the time. For instance, you are 58, I am 40, DS is 16, my niece is 6 and all of us have participated in a Valentine's or Halloween party. My assumption is that you and I also probably went to schools in different states. I agree with you. I went to a really lousy grade school and some of my only good memories of my school days were from holiday celebrations. I’m really glad my kid’s school allows those kinds of celebrations.
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Deleted
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May 21, 2024 16:14:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2017 3:26:00 GMT
I think times have changed such that school is no longer the place for things like Halloween, Valentines Day, etc. parties. (PS, I'm 58) And even though there is no doubt I'm a Christian, I don't think Christmas, Hanukkah, other religious celebrations are appropriate any more either. There are enough other venues for these types of celebrations and little enough real teaching going on in the schools. Not sure if that answers your question. My two-cents worth, anyway. I think it is sad that we think about taking these things away from children. So many kids have such great memories of them. For some, it is the best memory of grade school. There is a shared cultural experience that we keep shrinking all the time. For instance, you are 58, I am 40, DS is 16, my niece is 6 and all of us have participated in a Valentine's or Halloween party. My assumption is that you and I also probably went to schools in different states. My elementary years were spent in New York. Specifically, Long Island. I too have fond memories of these parties in grade school. I just question if school is the place for them today. We had small classes, school plays, spirit days where you wore the school colors and competed in sports, and Boy and Girl Scout meetings were held in school classrooms. There was no such thing as a "participation trophy" and siblings weren't invited to birthday parties. There were winners and there were losers. I also don't subscribe to today's "fairness" doctrine. Life isn't fair and we don't do our children any favors by pretending it is. Or should be.
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 26, 2017 3:35:23 GMT
We had small classes, school plays, spirit days where you wore the school colors and competed in sports, and Boy and Girl Scout meetings were held in school classrooms. There was no such thing as a "participation trophy" and siblings weren't invited to birthday parties. There were winners and there were losers. Many schools still do a lot of this. Maybe not the small classes, but the rest is and has gone on. I got participation trophies my entire rec soccer career. I still have them. Everybody got them. They often had the team name and record. My kids got them all through their rec days (which only ended two years ago). They all got ribbons or whatever. This anti-participation trophy confuses me. Around here there are school plays and programs. They've screwed the holiday programs by making them over pc. The schools do spirit days and weeks. Boys and Girl Scouts are either at schools or churches. I don't see what is wrong with any of these.
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Oct 26, 2017 3:42:51 GMT
I hate Halloween!
Little dd is at a religious school that doesn’t celebrate Halloween. Older dd is at a school that allows costumes for the last hour of the day. So the kids come in uniform and change to costumes. Our religion doesn’t celebrate Halloween but we don’t stop the kids from going out for fun and I don’t stop dd from wearing a costume at school. It’s a secular school so we roll with it. Thankfully there are many rules about appropriate costumes.
In your situation I could go either way. Sure it’s no big deal to allow costumes for an hour of the day (as long as there are rules about appropriate costumes) but it’s also not a big deal to not have costumes.
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Post by librarylady on Oct 26, 2017 3:44:36 GMT
Our school solved it all by saying only kids in a costume that related to a book the child had read (or read to the child) could come to school in costumes. It was "Book Character Day". No scary faces or face paint allowed. Solved the religious objection. Kids and parents who were dying to have a costume could have one.....
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Post by ExpatBackHome on Oct 26, 2017 3:47:50 GMT
At my sons school in Poland, there was pre-k through grade 12. Grades pre-k through 5 dressed and paraded. And they had a trunk or treat. There has to be a cut off somewhere. Just like only grade 6-8 got to go to the dance. I have no problem having grade cut offs for different events.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 26, 2017 3:48:10 GMT
Can I have an option for Halloween should be a national holiday and therefore no school on Halloween? One year we had conferences on Halloween. Longest day of my life! I think kids should be able to dress up k-12. It is one of the few fun holidays. If you only want them to dress up the last two hours or so, that is fine. Our school did the parade k-6. We also had parties the last 45 minutes of the day. During the day, we just geared all of our lessons towards Halloween topics. The few years I had Jehovah's Witnesses I changed what they did. During the parade they helped in the library as per their parents' wishes. I think if parents don't want their kids in school that day for religious reasons they should have an excused absence.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 26, 2017 4:31:30 GMT
Our school solved it all by saying only kids in a costume that related to a book the child had read (or read to the child) could come to school in costumes. It was "Book Character Day". No scary faces or face paint allowed. Solved the religious objection. Kids and parents who were dying to have a costume could have one..... That's our 3rd grade class.. my daughter dressed up as Laura Ingalls Wilder.... But no way was she having it for a Halloween costume.. lol
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Post by scrapsuzy on Oct 26, 2017 6:11:15 GMT
I haven't read the thread, but voted Other. I'm in the "have a party, no one wears costumes" camp. As I scrolled past, I saw the OP was in that camp, too.
Some people (the upset mom) have too much time on their hands. And she is contributing to her child being upset rather than looking at other viable options as realistic and helping her child to adjust his expectations.
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georgiapea
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Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Oct 26, 2017 9:03:47 GMT
Life is not always going to be fair. Time to learn to suck it up little buttercups.
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Post by *sprout* on Oct 26, 2017 9:22:52 GMT
I think it is sad that we think about taking these things away from children. So many kids have such great memories of them. For some, it is the best memory of grade school. There is a shared cultural experience that we keep shrinking all the time. For instance, you are 58, I am 40, DS is 16, my niece is 6 and all of us have participated in a Valentine's or Halloween party. My assumption is that you and I also probably went to schools in different states. I agree with you. I went to a really lousy grade school and some of my only good memories of my school days were from holiday celebrations. I’m really glad my kid’s school allows those kinds of celebrations. I completely agree with you and freecharlie. Sure, sending costumes to school is a pain, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm glad my dd's school has classroom parties - complete with costumes.
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tuesdaysgone
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Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Oct 26, 2017 9:48:29 GMT
At my school the kids don't dress in costumes during the school day, but we have school wide trick or treating in the evening (it's tonight as a matter of fact)
It's the best attended and most fun school function of the year. The teachers will be dressed up and standing at our classroom door. Kids and parents are dressed up and walk (once) around the school, getting some candy from each teacher. It lasts one hour and then everyone goes home. The "cost" of admission is a donation of canned or boxed food for our food drive.
Yes, tomorrow will be a shitty day and some kids are in a candy hangover, but it's Friday.
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