I quit...I smoke...I quit...I smoke

I’ve never been a smoker so I can’t offer any helpful advice, but I hate to hear you’re struggling. You’ve always been one of my favorite peas because you keep it so real. I hope sharing these issues here does provide you some support. I do agree with those who’ve pointed out that you have a number of stressors in your life right now so it may not be the best time to add the stress of quitting smoking to that. Anyway, I hope you get things straightened out to feel more equilibrium soon.

I am so sorry you are living with such struggles. I'm glad you talked to your sister and hopefully she will back off for right now.

My dad always said he was going to quit smoking when he was 58. He developed some health issues at 56 and the doctors told him he needed to quit. He tried and tried but couldn't seem to shake it. When he turned 58, it was like a switch. He quit mid pack, mid carton, while my step mom continued to smoke. He speculated that because he had always said 58, that his brain played tricks with him until he turned 58. I hope the same weird thing happens for you at 43.

In the meantime, I will tuck you safely in my thoughts while you work to find the meds that will work for you.

Hugs to you. Hope things resolve soon for you. I knew a woman for whom lithium made a huge difference; she said she felt like herself again.

Hugs. Glad you spoke to your sister about how you feel.

I quit for good Feb 2014 when my mother in law was in a hospital bed under hospice care in my living room dying from lung cancer - after my then 9th grade daughter said "YOU HAVE TO STOP mom, I can't watch you die too."

However, I did have to use, and still use, a vapor cigarette. I started at high nicotine levels and had to use a flavor that tasted like tobacco. Now I'm down to almost no nicotine and fun flavors. I hope within a couple of years I can quit using this altogether. But part of the addiction is the habit. Even with this, I still gained weight and I hate that, but I am SO glad I don't smoke now and the smell makes me ill when someone smokes around me. I wish I'd had the aversion years ago!

Every time I quit cold turkey I started back again. I simply could not do it that way. I tried Chantix, Lexapro, nicotine gum, patches etc but nothing else worked. I think the time and circumstances have to be right for YOU. Period. YOU have to be ready to make the change in your time.

Years ago I was having some issues; I was depressed, anxious, marriage in trouble, finances a wreck and had developed an ulcer. My doctor said 'cut out the greasy food, caffeine, and alcohol'. I had to laugh - that was the full gamut of my diet, honestly. I told him I'd wither up and die if I quit it all at one time. he told me then to not even think about quitting smoking yet until I was better in control and able to hand the stress of quitting and making such a big change. I think the same is true for your here - you simply have to work out your other health issues and be ready (for you, not for your sister *even though her intentions are good) to be able to succeed.

I wish you the best, truly. It's a beast to quit even under the best of circumstances.

I'm sorry you're struggling. As a former smoker I know how hard it is to just get your mind to get to the point where you feel like you can even attempt to quit. I also understand how easy it is to slip back into the habit when you're under stress etc. I quit cold turkey when I was 21 and didn't have another cigarette for years...... until I was going through some hard stuff with my ex. It is so easy to use cigarettes as a crutch. I haven't had a cigarette in about 16 years now, and I have to be honest..... there are times when I still think it would be nice to light up.

I'm glad you told your sister how you're feeling. She only has your best interests at heart but she also needs to realise that it's just not that easy to quit. You know it's bad for you, everybody knows it's bad, but you have to be in the right frame of mind to quit.

Good luck with eventually quitting, and all the other stuff too. xx