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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 2, 2017 0:16:16 GMT
My sister's FIL is dying. Of lung cancer. He was a smoker. He just finished chemo and his tumors are bigger than when he started. They have decided no more treatment. They said he probably has months to live.
My sister keeps sending me things about how bad smoking is for you. I know she wants me to quit. I try to quit over and over again. I am just not successful long term. My bipolar gets bad and it's like a catch 22. I often have paranoid thoughts that I'm going to get cancer. And I'm not talking about that nagging doubt in the back of your head. I'm talking about actual paranoid thinking where it goes round and round in my head on a loop that I cannot shut off. You would think that this would drive me to quit but it comes with mania which sometimes I cannot calm myself and what happens? I smoke more. Because I can't calm down.
I've been a hot mess lately. I'm on an experimental dose of one medicine and my doc added another about a month and a half ago. At first I felt better but now I'm back to cycling back and forth. This morning I felt so agitated I almost decided to leave work. Within a few hours I was back to normal. Now I'm sitting on my couch trying to get up the energy to crochet. But I feel too down to even do that.
It's just so frustrating because I can't get stable enough lately to even try to quit smoking and I'm getting message after message from my sister about it.
I always had 43 in my head as the magic age where I needed to quit by. My dad quit when he was 43 and now he's almost 70 and in great health. So I've just always had it in my head that that was the magic age. I'm 42.
Anyway I don't even know what I'm looking for. I just needed to type it all out. I'm frustrated. It's not easy. I have exhausted almost every single kind of medication to treat my bipolar disorder and I still can't get it under control. I've got two weeks until I see my psychiatrist and she has finally suggested lithium and I'm scared to try it. But nothing else is working and I'm out of options.
I guess I just needed to write it all down so I can process it. I'm just spinning my wheels and not knowing what to do.
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Post by mom on Nov 2, 2017 0:20:30 GMT
Hugs, friend. My only advice to you is to share with your sister what you've shared here. Maybe she will ease up on you a bit.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,178
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Nov 2, 2017 0:22:41 GMT
Can you send your sister a message telling her that you are struggling right now and HER messages to you about quitting are adding to your stress? Ask her to stop and give you some time because you need to get your bipolar situation under control before you can deal with the smoking.
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Post by Judie in Oz on Nov 2, 2017 0:23:35 GMT
I think stabilising your bipolar should be the first thing to do. After that's sorted a bit, then you can try to quit smoking. Quitting is really hard. Have you thought about trying an e-cig as a substitute? It worked for me, and I was a pretty heavy smoker. I managed to wean myself off the e-cig after a year. There are days when I would still love a cigarette, but I don't ever want to have to quit again.
I wish you success in managing both things.
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Post by SallyPA on Nov 2, 2017 0:25:16 GMT
I think you're being really hard on yourself! Your sister means well and cares about you, but it's only making you more and more anxious.
There is never a good or easy time to quit. BUT, when you feel out of control in your head and unbalanced and manic, it is not the time to quit. I gently suggest you wait until you are feeing better and more balanced! Take care of yourself in the other ways you can with diet and activity and know that at some point in the next several months, hopefully, you can tackle smoking.
Also, don't let the fact that you haven't been unsuccessful before deter you from trying again. People often try many times before finding success. Also, talk to your doctor about nicotine replacement options. They would be much better for you than other meds because of your bipolar. Hugs and be kind to yourself!!
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,268
Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Nov 2, 2017 0:25:28 GMT
I'm sorry for what you are going through. My mother was diagnosed bi-polar, and she also was a smoker until one day (while in a psychiatric facility no less), she suddenly decided to quit and that was that. But... knowing what I know now based on her history, my dad's and my own, I fully believe that my mother's depression was exacerbated by under treated thyroid disease. Many doctors treat based on labs (TSH especially) alone, and not symptoms. She had every symptom of low thyroid and while she was on Synthroid, I don't believe she (nor my father) was treated appropriately. Obviously, mental health is a big issue, but I have to let you know my experience and give it to you as an option. stopthethyroidmadness.com/thyroid-depression-mental-health/
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Post by scrappintoee on Nov 2, 2017 0:30:40 GMT
I'm so sorry for ALL you're going through; and it's totally understandable why it's so difficult to quit smoking. I also understand about being afraid to try lithium ----or ANY new med---knowing the *possible* side effects can be very daunting, can't it?
Sending you many ((( hugs ))).
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Post by tracyarts on Nov 2, 2017 0:32:15 GMT
I second the e-cig suggestion. My husband stopped and started smoking many times over the course of several years. A few years ago he tried an e-cig and after a while he stopped it, and stopped for good. I think stabilising your bipolar should be the first thing to do. After that's sorted a bit, then you can try to quit smoking. Quitting is really hard. Have you thought about trying an e-cig as a substitute? It worked for me, and I was a pretty heavy smoker. I managed to wean myself off the e-cig after a year. There are days when I would still love a cigarette, but I don't ever want to have to quit again. I wish you success in managing both things.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 2, 2017 0:38:36 GMT
Can you send your sister a message telling her that you are struggling right now and HER messages to you about quitting are adding to your stress? Ask her to stop and give you some time because you need to get your bipolar situation under control before you can deal with the smoking. I did. I just put it all out there. I'm trying to be sensitive because I know how hard this is for her whole family. She said she understood.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 2, 2017 0:41:49 GMT
keithurbanlovinpea, I am hypothyroid. I did call my primary doc today and asked them to see if she would consider running labs before I make a change in my psychiatric medication. I was last tested in December. I also have PCOS. I believe everything is interrelated.
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Post by teacherlisa on Nov 2, 2017 0:44:15 GMT
Many hugs!
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Nov 2, 2017 0:46:06 GMT
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) It IS tough to quit!
Do you have Rx coverage?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 19:21:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2017 0:48:13 GMT
Your sister tells you this because she loves you. She means well.
Some people think that they're sharing info with you that you just don't know.
I tell my doctor that I'm not overweight because I don't know about bad foods, portion control, or the need for exercise.
I'm a former smoker. You cannot quit for someone else. It will never EVER work. You have to quit when YOU decide it's time to quit. No amount of someone harping on you to quit will push you to quit.
I'm sorry that you're struggling so much with your medication and bi-polar diagnosis. I do agree with the others, that you MUST address that before you can worry about the smoking.
I hope that you're feeling well enough soon so that IF/WHEN you're ready to begin the process to quit, you'll be in a place to do so.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 2, 2017 0:49:27 GMT
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) It IS tough to quit! Do you have Rx coverage? Yes but my psychiatrist will not allow me to take any smoking cessation medication.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 19:21:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2017 0:55:03 GMT
I want to add that IF/WHEN you're ready to quit, be sure to let us know. I'm sure there are plenty of former smokers able to help walk you through and provide advice, support, and encouragement.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,178
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Nov 2, 2017 1:03:27 GMT
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) It IS tough to quit! Do you have Rx coverage? Yes but my psychiatrist will not allow me to take any smoking cessation medication. Why is that? My husband quit by using the patch and the gum. His doctor said they were more effective combined than each by itself.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 2, 2017 1:15:24 GMT
Yes but my psychiatrist will not allow me to take any smoking cessation medication. Why is that? My husband quit by using the patch and the gum. His doctor said they were more effective combined than each by itself. I can use a patch or gum. I just cannot have any medication like chantix or Wellbutrin.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 2, 2017 1:20:58 GMT
I smoked for a long time before I quit. Non-smokers can't know how hard it is. I think trying to make sure everything else is in order first is probably a good idea.
Does your DH smoke?
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
Jun 26, 2014 14:43:10 GMT
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Post by scrappington on Nov 2, 2017 1:21:35 GMT
As a I quit then smoke quit then smoke member I know your pain
Cigarettes are your best friend. Your best friend with a mullet.
You need to find a new best friend. With a hair cut.
I need to as well. Your not alone though.
I hope you get your meds regulated and you start to feel better.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Nov 2, 2017 1:30:58 GMT
I’m so sorry you are in this position. I understand where your psychiatrist is coming from, the warnings on the cessation drugs make them sound very counterintuitive to use when you are bipolar.
I don’t smoke, but I do have anxiety, and I know if I was a smoker, trying to quit would only make it worse. From reading your posts lately it sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life right now. Your illness, your son’s illness and your husband being gone during the week is a lot to handle. Give yourself a break while you are in the middle of adjusting your meds. You are doing the best you can right now. Quitting by 43 is a good goal, it is an arbitrary number, quitting when you are feeling strong is a good goal too.
For right now do things that make you feel better. Focus on the healthy diet, relaxation, and activities that make you happy. When your crocheting makes you happy, do that, when it doesn’t, do something else. If you are forcing yourself to do it, it makes feel worse instead of better. Watch a movie, surf the net, read, or anything that calms your mind.
You will be in my prayers.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Nov 2, 2017 1:38:51 GMT
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) It IS tough to quit! Do you have Rx coverage? Yes but my psychiatrist will not allow me to take any smoking cessation medication. Sent you a PM.........
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,268
Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Nov 2, 2017 1:41:57 GMT
keithurbanlovinpea , I am hypothyroid. I did call my primary doc today and asked them to see if she would consider running labs before I make a change in my psychiatric medication. I was last tested in December. I also have PCOS. I believe everything is interrelated. I wholeheartedly agree. I was a hot mess of brain fog and depression until I found a doctor who treated symptoms and I finally got off synthetic T4 meds. Good luck to you!
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 2, 2017 2:04:56 GMT
I smoked for a long time before I quit. Non-smokers can't know how hard it is. I think trying to make sure everything else is in order first is probably a good idea. Does your DH smoke? No he doesn't.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Nov 2, 2017 2:13:51 GMT
I smoked for a long time before I quit. Non-smokers can't know how hard it is. I think trying to make sure everything else is in order first is probably a good idea. Does your DH smoke? No he doesn't. That will help!
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Nov 2, 2017 2:20:09 GMT
Good luck. Its a terrible addiction to struggle with. My mother smoked up until her death, and was never able to quit, in spite of the fact that cigarettes were literally killing her.
I say that not to add to your fear and guilt, but to try to convey that I understand what a pernicious addiction it is.
I'm sure it's hard to focus on quitting when you are struggling mentally and emotionally. I hope you are able to find meds that help you feel stable enough to tackle quitting if you are ready.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much. You are always so kind and positive here. I hope we can be as much of a support to you, as you are to us. Sending you hugs hugs. I'd take you out for coffee if I could.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Nov 2, 2017 2:23:46 GMT
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) It IS tough to quit! Do you have Rx coverage? Yes but my psychiatrist will not allow me to take any smoking cessation medication. We have a friend who took Chantix but had to quit after he started having serious suicidal ideation. Have you considered e-cigarettes?
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 2, 2017 3:28:32 GMT
Are you in touch w/your psychiatrist? I would mention the current cycling and let him/her adjust your meds, again. ITA w/you that your conditions are related. Perhaps it's time for new labs and different meds or at least a different dosage. Psych/thyroid meds are like playing chemical roulette. You have a right to feel well.
As for the smoking, you're a grown up and you know the dangers. Your sister loves you and means well, but when you're cycling it's touch enough to deal w/that.
((((HUGS)))).
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Post by librarylady on Nov 2, 2017 4:14:20 GMT
Hope you can get your bipolar in check. That lithium has helped many others, maybe it will be the magic wand for you.
Smoking: My husband smoked for over 50 years-- 2 packs per day. When the dr. told him he MUST stop...he was able to conquer the demon. Here is what he did...He spent about a month getting mentally ready. Then, he counted how many cigarettes he was smoking each day. Then he counted out 1 less each day and progressed until he was down to zero. This eliminated the physical withdrawal symptoms. He stopped in 2002 and is so happy that he finally stopped.
I wish you luck.
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Post by dasmith2 on Nov 2, 2017 8:45:15 GMT
I second the e-cig suggestion. My husband stopped and started smoking many times over the course of several years. A few years ago he tried an e-cig and after a while he stopped it, and stopped for good. I think stabilising your bipolar should be the first thing to do. After that's sorted a bit, then you can try to quit smoking. Quitting is really hard. Have you thought about trying an e-cig as a substitute? It worked for me, and I was a pretty heavy smoker. I managed to wean myself off the e-cig after a year. There are days when I would still love a cigarette, but I don't ever want to have to quit again. I wish you success in managing both things. I was a 2 pack a day smoker until July when I quit. I have some pretty significant mental health issues that didn't help and are a daily struggle(PTSD, Bipolar, major depression, severe anxiety and paranoia) that being said, I was ready to quit cigarettes. I switched to e cigs and that is what got me off of the tobacco. Now I still use the ecig but I plan on quitting that as soon as I get to my goal weight(only 20-25 pounds-but it sure as heck isn't coming off like I like it too ugh just ugh lol). Letting your sister know what you are going through might help- let her know that you do want to quit but you are having issues right now, maybe she will help you in other ways. I'm sure she means well, but she needs to know that she is making it worse on you- maybe she will become supportive in other ways. It is such a hard habit to break!! Trust me I know- and you will do it when you are ready. (((hugs)))
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Post by Fidget on Nov 2, 2017 10:46:44 GMT
I understand, it's so difficult to quit. I did manage to quit 10 years ago, but I do not have the other health issues. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. When I first quit I felt depressed, like I lost my best friend so I can certainly understand how much more difficult it must be for you. That said, I am healthier and happier now than I've been in 40 years so please, like the phrase says "never quit quitting". Good luck and hugs to you.
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