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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 13, 2017 16:09:30 GMT
Now I will say that I hear some stories of rude people and I think boy, I'm glad I live here in small town GA because I really never encounter that. Most everyone is very nice, polite and considerate of others. That's what I see when I'm out and about. So my DH and I were on our way out of town and were in a suburb of Atlanta. We got off an exit and were in a very busy area with a big intersection. (eta: it was about 12 noon, so not dark) We were in the left turn lane and the car in front of us was stopped in the middle of the intersection obviously broken down and not waiting on traffic. As we sat there waiting on the light a guy pulls up and jumps out to help whoever is in the stopped car (a nice Cadillac) and so DH gets out to help also. I hop over to the driver's side and take a left into a shopping center parking lot while DH and 2 guys push the lady's car through the intersection to a gas station on the corner. They push her car right up to the pump- she doesn't look at them, speak to them or acknowledge their existence much less that fact that they had just pushed her car out of the way and to the pump!  The 3 guys looked at each other like WTH?, shook each other's hands said 'thanks' and went on their way. The driver did not even look at them. I was asking DH details bec I couldn't wrap my mind around that, I said 'did she even make eye contact with you?', he said no not once. Man, how can you live your life that self-absorbed, entitled, ungrateful, or whatever the heck she was?! I know some might say she was embarrassed or upset or blah, blah, blah, but there is NO excuse for not simply saying "thank you". |
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 13, 2017 16:11:32 GMT
Wow. Tell your DH I would have been extremely grateful for the help. He's a great guy!
She's a whack job.
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Post by busy on Nov 13, 2017 16:16:42 GMT
Obviously that is rude, but she may also have been afraid. Not saying that's justified in any way, but even here in pealand, people seem to display a lot of fear of strangers, especially men. She may have been a bit panicked by breaking down in an intersection to begin with and then fearful of the strange men who very kindly helped her. Some people react very poorly to stressful situations.
Of course the right thing for her to do would be to be grateful and acknowledge their help - literally everyone knows that. The fact that she didn't to me is more suggestive of fear than being "entitled" or anything like that. I bet later, once she was calm, she felt badly for how she handled it.
Your husband knows he did the right thing, as do the other men. Some times, that has to be enough.
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Nov 13, 2017 16:28:34 GMT
Now I will say that I hear some stories of rude people and I think boy, I'm glad I live here in small town GA because I really never encounter that. Most everyone is very nice, polite and considerate of others. That's what I see when I'm out and about. So my DH and I were on our way out of town and were in a suburb of Atlanta. We got off an exit and were in a very busy area with a big intersection. We were in the left turn lane and the car in front of us was stopped in the middle of the intersection obviously broken down and not waiting on traffic. As we sat there waiting on the light a guy pulls up and jumps out to help whoever is in the stopped car (a nice Cadillac) and so DH gets out to help also. I hop over to the driver's side and take a left into a shopping center parking lot while DH and 2 guys push the lady's car through the intersection to a gas station on the corner. They push her car right up to the pump- she doesn't look at them, speak to them or acknowledge their existence much less that fact that they had just pushed her car out of the way and to the pump! The 3 guys looked at each other like WTH?, shook each other's hands said 'thanks' and went on their way. The driver did not even look at them. I was asking DH details bec I couldn't wrap my mind around that, I said 'did she even make eye contact with you?', he said no not once. Man, how can you live your life that self-absorbed, entitled, ungrateful, or whatever the heck she was?! I know some might say she was embarrassed or upset or blah, blah, blah, but there is NO excuse for not simply saying "thank you". I don't understand it either. Your DH is a gem and so is the other man who helped, and, as they would say over in Africa, the two men "saw" each other. The lady in distress did not "see" them, possibly through panic as a pp said. hijack: what is the excuse of about 80% of selfie-taking jerks who don't see anybody else beside them or behind them? Is it OK to be so self absorbed you trample them? The only fellow travellers they "see" are the ones in the picture they NEED to take, then it seems to be OK to rudely demand the offender move! What is almost worse is the smokers who are forbidden to indulge while on a pristine bit of near-Antarctic wilderness who load up on their poison while queuing for the Zodiacs and drop their butts (3 or 4 in a short space of time) about 3 feet from a proper receptacle  /hijack I say again the OP's DH was a gem. |
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Post by lucyg on Nov 13, 2017 16:55:59 GMT
Or maybe she has some kind of personality disorder or autism or something? I'm just tossing ideas out there, because otherwise I can't begin to imagine not acknowledging these guys who helped her.
It sounds like something far beyond entitlement or self-absorption. It's just so outside the realm of normal behavior. Even most narcissists understand the basic rules of civilized society.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:49:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 16:56:42 GMT
Maybe the car was stolen?  |
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Post by christine58 on Nov 13, 2017 16:59:28 GMT
Your husband knows he did the right thing, as do the other men. Some times, that has to be enough. right...she may have been scared who knows. I am not sure I would call her rude. We do kind things to be kind... |
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 13, 2017 17:03:40 GMT
Your husband knows he did the right thing, as do the other men. Some times, that has to be enough. My DH is the type of guy that will help anyone at any time and not expect anything in return. It's just that not even acknowledging his presence was so far out of the norm he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. She had a passenger as well that also didn't acknowledge them. DH said they were nicely dressed middle aged women, nothing unusual about them that he could see. |
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 13, 2017 17:05:15 GMT
I am not sure I would call her rude. How can you say that wasn't rude (impolite or ill-mannered) at the very least? |
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Post by jenjie on Nov 13, 2017 17:13:32 GMT
I can't wrap my head around that. Thank you Mr. Homemaker for stepping in to help.
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Post by kristi521 on Nov 13, 2017 17:14:47 GMT
Wow! I have been in that situation and yes I was totally embarrassed, but I was also so very grateful to the gentlemen that helped me get out of the way and told them so. Thank you to your DH and the others that stopped to help.
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Post by Zee on Nov 13, 2017 17:16:20 GMT
Or maybe she has some kind of personality disorder or autism or something? I'm just tossing ideas out there, because otherwise I can't begin to imagine not acknowledging these guys who helped her. It sounds like something far beyond entitlement or self-absorption. It's just so outside the realm of normal behavior. Even most narcissists understand the basic rules of civilized society. I agree, my first thought was that she has some type of socialization disorder coupled with being nervous. |
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
RefuPea #1406
Posts: 2,648
Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Nov 13, 2017 17:16:54 GMT
I am not sure I would call her rude. How can you say that wasn't rude (impolite or ill-mannered) at the very least? I do think it was rude. However, I think there was something going on other than entitlement. At first, I was thinking stranger anxiety heightened by embarrassment. However, since the passenger didn't acknowledge them either, maybe they are members of a religion that doesn't allow outside interaction. Or, an abusive spouse that could have been an issue. The passenger could have reported her speaking to men she would have been forbidden to talk to. At this point in time, nothing would surprise me. Your husband and the men who helped know they did the right thing. Sometimes that has to enough. |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Nov 13, 2017 17:17:30 GMT
Thank you to your DH and the other 2 men!
Thinking that the women should have at least waved a thanks! It wasn't like a remote area, it was a busy intersection, car pushed into a gas station where there were other people.
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Post by Zee on Nov 13, 2017 17:22:24 GMT
How can you say that wasn't rude (impolite or ill-mannered) at the very least? I do think it was rude. However, I think there was something going on other than entitlement. At first, I was thinking stranger anxiety heightened by embarrassment. However, since the passenger didn't acknowledge them either, maybe they are members of a religion that doesn't allow outside interaction. Or, an abusive spouse that could have been an issue. The passenger could have reported her speaking to men she would have been forbidden to talk to. At this point in time, nothing would surprise me. Your husband and the men who helped know they did the right thing. Sometimes that has to enough. there was a passenger? |
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Montannie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,486 
Location: Big Sky Country
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Post by Montannie on Nov 13, 2017 17:22:25 GMT
Obviously that is rude, but she may also have been afraid. Not saying that's justified in any way, but even here in pealand, people seem to display a lot of fear of strangers, especially men. She may have been a bit panicked by breaking down in an intersection to begin with and then fearful of the strange men who very kindly helped her. Some people react very poorly to stressful situations.
Of course the right thing for her to do would be to be grateful and acknowledge their help - literally everyone knows that. The fact that she didn't to me is more suggestive of fear than being "entitled" or anything like that. I bet later, once she was calm, she felt badly for how she handled it. Your husband knows he did the right thing, as do the other men. Some times, that has to be enough. This is true. Every so often, there is a letter to the editor in our local paper from a person looking to thank a person who helped them out with a tire, stranded car, etc. The phrase used is often "I was so rattled, I forgot to ask your name." The letters are intended as a thank you. |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 13, 2017 17:26:10 GMT
We were in the left turn lane and the car in front of us was stopped in the middle of the intersection obviously broken down and not waiting on traffic. As we sat there waiting on the light a guy pulls up and jumps out to help whoever is in the stopped car (a nice Cadillac) and so DH gets out to help also. What if... they weren't broken down? What if... they weren't out of gas? What if... She was merely busy talking to the other woman in the car and zoned out, not realizing that she should be going? And then... what if... two men came up to your car and you weren't sure what their intentions were? Just another possibility. |
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 13, 2017 17:27:56 GMT
Yes, I didn't mention her until my 2nd post. |
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 13, 2017 17:30:07 GMT
What if... She was merely busy talking to the other woman in the car and zoned out, not realizing that she should be going? That would be quite a laugh for them every time they talked about it. "Remember that time we were just sitting there and these guys pushed our car to the gas station?!" But no, the car wasn't running so they weren't just sitting there. |
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Post by Zee on Nov 13, 2017 17:30:41 GMT
Yes, I didn't mention her until my 2nd post. Oops, missed that, sorry. Well then they're just weird, both of them. |
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Nov 13, 2017 17:35:44 GMT
I am also thinking they might be of a culture that the women are not allowed to speak to others unless the men give them the ok. We were waiting at a doctor's appointment once and I started chatting to a nearby lady and she didn't respond to me. Her dh then spoke to her in their language and then she chatted a little with me.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Nov 13, 2017 17:36:15 GMT
Obviously that is rude, but she may also have been afraid. Not saying that's justified in any way, but even here in pealand, people seem to display a lot of fear of strangers, especially men. She may have been a bit panicked by breaking down in an intersection to begin with and then fearful of the strange men who very kindly helped her. Some people react very poorly to stressful situations.
Of course the right thing for her to do would be to be grateful and acknowledge their help - literally everyone knows that. The fact that she didn't to me is more suggestive of fear than being "entitled" or anything like that. I bet later, once she was calm, she felt badly for how she handled it. Your husband knows he did the right thing, as do the other men. Some times, that has to be enough. This is true. Every so often, there is a letter to the editor in our local paper from a person looking to thank a person who helped them out with a tire, stranded car, etc. The phrase used is often "I was so rattled, I forgot to ask your name." The letters are intended as a thank you. yes, this same type of thank you is also routinely posted in my area Facebook groups. People are so nervous/rattled/scared/etc that they just go blank and forget. |
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Post by pondrunner on Nov 13, 2017 17:38:02 GMT
I don't assume it's ungratefulness... she could have been scared, embarrassed, upset, so many things. This causes people sometimes to just freeze up, you really do go into your own world sometimes in stressful situations, I don't believe there's "no excuse" because we don't know her side of the story.
A good deed is a good deed even if no one says "thank you".
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Post by bianca42 on Nov 13, 2017 17:39:10 GMT
Or maybe she has some kind of personality disorder or autism or something? I'm just tossing ideas out there, because otherwise I can't begin to imagine not acknowledging these guys who helped her. It sounds like something far beyond entitlement or self-absorption. It's just so outside the realm of normal behavior. Even most narcissists understand the basic rules of civilized society. Or PTSD from being carjacked. Your DH did a wonderful thing. I'd prefer to think that she appreciates it in her own way but can't show it vs. assume she's an ass. (And she very well might just be a horrible person...but I feel better believing she's not.) |
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,785
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Nov 13, 2017 17:46:19 GMT
Given there were two adults in the car & neither could muster even a basic gesture of acknowledgement to strangers that removed them from danger, IMHO it's a classic case of rudeness & over-entitlement. They expect others to help them & are probably still upset no one had rescued them earlier! I'm glad there's still people like your husband still willing to do the right thing...
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 13, 2017 17:49:35 GMT
I am also thinking they might be of a culture that the women are not allowed to speak to others unless the men give them the ok. People are so nervous/rattled/scared/etc that they just go blank and forget. she could have been scared, embarrassed, upset, so many things. So, for those that are thinking these types of things could have happened, what about a simple hand wave of thanks? Or even eye contact that she saw them? |
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Post by kitkath on Nov 13, 2017 17:58:43 GMT
She had to put the car in neutral for them to push it so it’s not like she didn’t know what they were doing. Very weird.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,072
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Post by used2scrap on Nov 13, 2017 18:12:00 GMT
I am also thinking they might be of a culture that the women are not allowed to speak to others unless the men give them the ok. People are so nervous/rattled/scared/etc that they just go blank and forget. she could have been scared, embarrassed, upset, so many things. So, for those that are thinking these types of things could have happened, what about a simple hand wave of thanks? Or even eye contact that she saw them? If it's trauma or fear, a PTSD response, then hand gestures or eye contact could be anything but simple. In the throes of a flashback or trigger? And certainly no gestures or eye contact if they aren't "allowed" to speak to males. If people are kind enough to lend a helping hand, I hope they are kind enough to acknowledge possible reasons for reactions besides "they're just a**holes." Then again, maybe they are. But why let that cheapen a good deed? Would you leave someone stranded because you weren't going to get an enthusiastic enough response? |
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Post by pondrunner on Nov 13, 2017 18:15:40 GMT
I am also thinking they might be of a culture that the women are not allowed to speak to others unless the men give them the ok. People are so nervous/rattled/scared/etc that they just go blank and forget. she could have been scared, embarrassed, upset, so many things. So, for those that are thinking these types of things could have happened, what about a simple hand wave of thanks? Or even eye contact that she saw them? It just sounds to me like you may be looking for something that a person might or might not have been conscious of or capable of doing in the moment. Without knowing the circumstance none of us knows why the response was what it was. |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Nov 13, 2017 18:15:54 GMT
I am also thinking they might be of a culture that the women are not allowed to speak to others unless the men give them the ok. People are so nervous/rattled/scared/etc that they just go blank and forget. she could have been scared, embarrassed, upset, so many things. So, for those that are thinking these types of things could have happened, what about a simple hand wave of thanks? Or even eye contact that she saw them? Since we aren't her we are just saying what we've heard other people say  I don't think any of us said it was ok. |
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/hijack
I don't think any of us said it was ok.