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Post by crimsoncat05 on Nov 13, 2017 20:02:17 GMT
... one of those days where you feel like other people are out there living your life, doing all the exciting things? The things you never even realized you wanted to do till now (when you read about them on Facebook)??
While you're stuck at home paying the bills, cleaning the cat boxes, watering the plants, going to the boring job, etc.?
And you know you should be happy for them, but you're resentful of the fact that they're doing these ultra-exciting things and you're NOT?
And you can't figure out how your life got to be so boring and predictable, but it seems like it's too late to do anything about it now because there's other people counting on you, and you're a 'responsible adult' so you can't just chuck it all and run away (but you'd really like to), because then who would take care of things?
I don't really want to DO the things from Facebook, necessarily; it's just that reading about that person's adventures makes my life seem really mundane and boring right now, and I'm feeling stuck because of it, I guess.
I'm not sure where today went off the rails... it seemed to start out okay, but I'm in a bad mood now, and it feels like it's just getting worse. Maybe I just need a 'do-over' on today. (and to stay off of Facebook, lol.)
thanks for letting me vent.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 20:05:48 GMT
Oh lord, all the bloody time!
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 13, 2017 20:06:54 GMT
If you're healthy take advantage of what you can. Perhaps you don't have a lot of free time, but use that free time when you can for something fulfilling for yourself. If a chore doesn't get done because you are enjoying your life then I view that as a good thing. You'll get to the chore later. It's important to balance your life and if you're healthy then do it. I learned that the hard way. Don't follow suit.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Nov 13, 2017 20:07:54 GMT
thanks, lainey. (aside: whenever I see anyone use the word 'Lordy" I totally hear Jim Comey in my head now, from his Senate hearings- the extra-earnest way he said it makes me laugh. So thanks.)
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Nov 13, 2017 20:11:21 GMT
Yes pretty much all the time!
I avoid FB most days because everyone that I follow seems to have such marvelous lives! It's fucking depressing to know your life isn't like that at all.
Having said all this I'd give anything to have that boring life back after the hell it's been since August.
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Post by Zee on Nov 13, 2017 20:20:50 GMT
Honestly, I'm very content with my boring life. I've had enough stress and adrenaline thrills to last the rest of my life. Plus it's cold now and I won't be leaving my house for anything but work and shopping until next spring, if I can help it! I guess some of my friends travel and have good lives, but I don't envy any of them. I do those things on a smaller scale. I have a nice family and a strong marriage and while I may not have everything I want, I have everything I need plus lots of things I don't need. Including four cats I don't get the Facebook hate from people who are constantly comparing their lives to others. I use fb to stay connected with friends and family. It's my happy place. If someone interferes with that, I hide or unfriend them.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Nov 13, 2017 20:22:47 GMT
Stay off of Facebook.
And if things don't get better today they will tomorrow. Or in a few days. I had the longest string of HORRIBLE days a few weeks ago and things got better. After I had ice cream for dinner a few times.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Nov 13, 2017 20:24:03 GMT
Stay off of Facebook. And if things don't get better today they will tomorrow. Or in a few days. I had the longest string of HORRIBLE days a few weeks ago and things got better. After I had ice cream for dinner a few times. Ice cream is great for that isn't it lol!
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Post by mom on Nov 13, 2017 20:24:34 GMT
I just remind myself they are only posting the exciting stuff and none of the crap they deal with.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Nov 13, 2017 20:27:49 GMT
Yes. All the time. I have a "friend" on there who is constantly going on these great adventures. The thing is she never really worked much in her life. She only marries for money. When that man won't support her anymore, she moves on. While my husband works his rear end off and I've been been having a barrage of health issues, dealing with an Autistic son and we can barely make ends meet. I guarantee that I'm happier than her overall, but I do wish I could do the stuff that she does and could buy the the things she does. But I don't ever see that happening they way things tend to go for DH and I.
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Post by scrapqueen01 on Nov 13, 2017 20:30:21 GMT
With dh's mood and dd's inability to get herself up and moving this morning I was so wishing for the days when I was single and only had myself and my stuff to worry about. The attitudes my family has developed has me about ready to run away to live in a cabin in the mountains alone.
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Post by jenjie on Nov 13, 2017 20:34:33 GMT
It probably seems like everyone is having all the fun because it's showing up in your feed. Probably all that fun, and all the achievements, are spread out over a bunch of different people. a bunch of people are each having SOME fun, not ALL the fun.
I heard a speaker yesterday talk about how much information we receive, so much more than in years past. It's overwhelming. He said even the stuff you hear on the news, a lot of the statistics have gone down but you wouldn't know it because news is dispensed 24/7 and they need to fill all that space with content.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 13, 2017 20:36:40 GMT
I unfollowed that person on Facebook. I couldn't take it anymore. I am not normally the jealous sort of person. But this person was trip after trip. A new house. A lakehouse. And when her husband bought her a top of the line Jeep for a birthday gift, that was it for me. I just didn't want to hear about her new purse or her 500 selfies of how beautiful she looks after getting her hair done. And yes, she's beautiful too. It just got to be too much. I found I would read her posts and then get resentful. I figured that I did not need that in my life, in my face, every single day. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but someone can only take so much of flaunting material things in your face before you just start to feel bad about all the things you don't have. I don't want to live my life thinking about all the things that are missing in my life. Last week's sermon was about gratitude. And the fact that so many people feel entitled to things and then don't look at them as a gift. I have been trying to think about all the blessings I have in my life and view them as gifts.
On the flip side, I have one facebook friend who is a very eccentric, intellectual sort. He has been different from the norm since I met him at age 7. He is witty and passionate. He also chooses to live life as simply as he possibly can. 3 changes of clothes, no bed to sleep on (he sleeps on the floor), his 20 year old Jeep does not have doors on it and he lives in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. But he posts the most amazing nature photography. He posts about all his adventures. He lives like a recluse, but his posts always make me think about things in different ways. When was the last time we stopped to appreciate our microwave? We don't. We feel like a microwave is a basic necessity. Yet, he lives happily without one. And it makes me think about how blessed I actually am. I have the luxury of scrapbooking. Do I have a room? Nope. Do I have a large stash? Nope. But just as I can live simply with very little scrapbook products, he can live simply in every single aspect of his life. I envy him. And he's the kind of person I want to envy. A person with character and passion. A person who has virtually nothing and is absolutely OK with that. I envy how his mind works. And his posts inspire me.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,689
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Nov 13, 2017 20:42:33 GMT
I doubt anyone really has a life that is all glitz, glam, and adventure. I think the people who have pages like that know that people login to social media for a break and prefer to see happiness and positivity and treat Facebook like a highlight reel.
My page has a mix of fun adventures and everyday nonsense but the everyday nonsense has a positive or funny spin on it. A sort of shared digital scrapbook if you will. It's not that there are less bad things in my life, I'm just not going to waller around and document them when I can pull out fun vacation pics and give myself a boost.
Everyone has a pile of shit they're wading through, I appreciate people who keep it to a highlight reel and don't make my pile any deeper with their drama and negativity.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 20:50:25 GMT
I'm glad you posted this. I read it and thought "I feel exactly that way about my ex." He and his GF just came home from a 2.5 week trip to China, last year it was Thailand, the year before that Iceland, before that New Zealand and next fall it's Africa. The pictures are splashed all over FB because he feels like he has to tag my 14 yo DD so she can see them (she didn't go). Meanwhile, my DH and I stay home, have not had a vacation in the 6 years we've been together without at least one kid or his mother, and run everyone where they need to be in addition to working full-time. DH travels for work every week so I'm the one stuck holding the bag.
Then I realized: he is on the verge of being caught cheating again. About a month ago, one of his "friends" posted his on-line dating profile to his FB page. He deleted it and told everyone that it was old and he hadn't been active on it since he met his GF almost 4 years ago. He also has an IG page that I'm sure she doesn't know about it since it's under a fake name. So in addition to having all those adventures, he is constantly looking over his shoulder instead of being a stand-up guy.
My conscious is clear. I'm there for all my kids' big moments, something I wouldn't trade for the world!
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
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Post by ginacivey on Nov 13, 2017 21:05:41 GMT
Everyone has a pile of shit they're wading through, I appreciate people who keep it to a highlight reel and don't make my pile any deeper with their drama and negativity. aint that the truth
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Nov 13, 2017 21:09:40 GMT
I remind myself that what people show on FB is their highlight reel. You'd think I have this fabulous exciting life by what I post, but in reality, my life mimics the movie Groundhog Day.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 21:16:10 GMT
I just remind myself they are only posting the exciting stuff and none of the crap they deal with. This and I have a friend who can't pay the bills and yet vacations at least every 6 weeks.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 21:23:27 GMT
I just remind myself they are only posting the exciting stuff and none of the crap they deal with. This and I have a friend who can't pay the bills and yet vacations at least every 6 weeks. And should have added... She gets into knock down drag out fights with her husband. ( she does hit back). He broke her hand during one fight. He smokes weed drinks and has cheated on her. She left him once. She can vacation all she wants , I know what goes on behind her closed doors and don't want her life.
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Deleted
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Sept 21, 2024 0:45:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 21:24:28 GMT
Yes pretty much all the time! I avoid FB most days because everyone that I follow seems to have such marvelous lives! It's fucking depressing to know your life isn't like that at all. Having said all this I'd give anything to have that boring life back after the hell it's been since August. I have realized that when people post on FB or Instagram, it is just a split second of their day. A single moment. Like a video of kids watching the first snow of the season, in matching pjs, with combed hair, and little stuffies all lined up on the window sill. It just screams set up to show a perfect life. Everyone posts the perfect, cropped photo. Or posts a silly cute story. The whole authentic tag is so annoying. If you have to hashtag authentic, you are far from it. One of the many reasons I gave up FB. I enjoy my boring life. Plus I know many who are in serious debt from all their fun.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 21:27:38 GMT
With dh's mood and dd's inability to get herself up and moving this morning I was so wishing for the days when I was single and only had myself and my stuff to worry about. The attitudes my family has developed has me about ready to run away to live in a cabin in the mountains alone. Girl, I had to drag dd out of bed this morning. Teens. Ugh!
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Post by lesserknownpea on Nov 13, 2017 21:39:07 GMT
I just remind myself they are only posting the exciting stuff and none of the crap they deal with. THIS! I house and animal sat for 5 weeks last spring in Hawaii. ( I know, I know) I posted beautiful, fun, happy pictures of the whole adventure. The homeowners ( extended family ) have acreage and lots of animals. Lots. Including a Houdini of a young goat who kept getting out and had to be found , repenned , and the escape area located and Mickey Mouse back together. The other goats kept knocking me down and scaring the crap out of me , ( leaving me with minor but painful injuries) when I was caring for them. They had an elderly dog with multiple serious issues. A huge one. I worried the whole time she’d die on my watch, a couple nights it seemed close. And there was major nasty clean up. Seriously nasty. Still, I lovingly cared for all the animals, made it to the beach for a few hours each day,(except the worst day of goat abuse, I was too traumatized to drive), and posted away about the fabulous time I was having. While this is an extreme example, the principle holds true. Personally, after my life so far, I love a simple mundane life. I hope this doesn’t sound trite, but I truly am a count your blessings girl. Dirty laundry meant I had healthy kids who could play outside. Dirty dishes meant we had food. Work meant we could pay our bills. ( not always a given). I warned you it would probably trite. Jealousy often means something is missing in your life, and usually not what initially triggered the jealousy. Stop and reflect on your life and perhaps you’ll know what you really want. Often, it’s exactly what you have.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2017 21:45:42 GMT
I just remind myself they are only posting the exciting stuff and none of the crap they deal with. Stop and reflect on your life and perhaps you’ll know what you really want. Often, it’s exactly what you have. This. Exactly this. But I found too, that reading such down and sad posts from others, made it harder to remember what I have that others dont. I worked on that in therapy years ago and yes finding the positive is a great tool. And being thankful for what I have. But when a mom friend is yet *again* posting about her awful day with the kids, its hard to stay positive. Other peoples emotions affect me. So I cut out fb. And dang it have I been way less stressed and happy.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Nov 13, 2017 21:51:13 GMT
Other peoples emotions affect me. good point- this happens to me, too. That's one of the reasons I DON'T hang out on Facebook very often; I forgot about that the last couple days, I guess. Most of the time, I like my mundane, ordinary life just fine. It's just sometimes I get in a mood where I'd rather run off and join the circus, so to speak. lol.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Nov 13, 2017 22:03:07 GMT
Everyone has a pile of shit they're wading through, I appreciate people who keep it to a highlight reel and don't make my pile any deeper with their drama and negativity. “ I love this paragraph, Steph! Plus, anyone who has the pedigree to carry off using ‘waller’ in a sentence makes my day 😉
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Post by papersilly on Nov 13, 2017 22:06:40 GMT
you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. take my next door neighbor for example. young couple. he is a partner in his law firm, she is a SAHM who teaches pilates in her own state of the art home studio. they have a full time nanny for the one kid, a dog walker for the dog, new cars every 2 years. they bought their house (their first home) a year after we did and did tons of work to it so that it looks like something out of magazine. seems perfect right?
well, her husband developed a brain tumor recently. he was quite sick. that gorgeous house is now for sale. everything is not as it seems. i'll keep my ho-hum life, thanks.
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Post by deekaye on Nov 13, 2017 22:22:49 GMT
My best friend and I have a silly, not-very-mature, "drinking" game we play on Facebook. Every time that mutual acquaintance/Facebook friend posts about her faaaa-buh-louslife (new car, new toys, perfect city home, wonderful summer home, perfect children, perfect husband, etc.) we offer a private message toast to each other. It's amazing how many funny gifs or memes have to do with alcohol!
See, I told you it's not very mature, but it keeps us laughing!
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Post by alexa11 on Nov 13, 2017 22:36:57 GMT
Yes-every day for the last couple of years, since my life was completely turned upside down. It's hard to get used to a new "normal". And reading about the things that people are doing that I used to do makes me sad.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Nov 13, 2017 22:54:44 GMT
My best friend and I have a silly, not-very-mature, "drinking" game we play on Facebook. Every time that mutual acquaintance/Facebook friend posts about her faaaa-buh-louslife (new car, new toys, perfect city home, wonderful summer home, perfect children, perfect husband, etc.) we offer a private message toast to each other. It's amazing how many funny gifs or memes have to do with alcohol! See, I told you it's not very mature, but it keeps us laughing! I totally want to do this, but those acquaintances I follow on ig and fb that qualify are not followed by anyone I’m close to. I stick with those ones for entertainment purposes.
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Post by ntsf on Nov 14, 2017 0:04:50 GMT
I think sometimes it is different stages in life.. we have been in the weeds.. and we have done things that seem exciting. our life is often boring and tough.. having on going medical issues from an accident 35 yrs ago, a disabled adult child.. lots of stresses and strains.. but then now as we are retiring.. and have made progress on getting our disabled child in care under others.. we are back to doing some more exciting things. I felt overwhelmed when my kids were small, dh was gone for months for business and I had no family and few others to help.. so I know there are things hiding in people's lives.. so I try not to compare.. though that is tough.
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