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Post by bianca42 on Sept 4, 2014 19:24:11 GMT
I cut my nipple while shaving my legs. Talented, right? My husband (boyfriend at the time) came home unexpectedly and decided to sneak into the bathroom. I didn't hear him come in, so of course when he opened the shower curtain he scared the crap out of me. My hands went up along with the razor and it grazed my nipple. OUCH! Thankfully the bleeding stopped and I didn't have to explain that to the ER staff. DH was shaving when I blurted out that I was pregnant with our first...he cut his throat with the razor.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,015
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on Sept 4, 2014 19:43:26 GMT
I was cutting fabric at my table, sitting very closely to the table and concentrating. I swished my right funbag between the scissor handles. Ouch. this has to be an autocorrect
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Post by quinmm14 on Sept 4, 2014 20:13:38 GMT
I was cutting fabric at my table, sitting very closely to the table and concentrating. I swished my right funbag between the scissor handles. Ouch. this has to be an autocorrect That's also what I thought, I'm now pretty sure funbag = boob! At any rate, ye-ikes!
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Post by Lindarina on Sept 4, 2014 20:18:01 GMT
The strangest way was maybe one app I downloaded to help me with my running. It's called Zombies, run!, and makes you run really, really fast away from zombies. I of course, ended up with tendonitis in my achillies (because of previously mentioned broken bone), and I'm still not completely healed. I guess that says a little bit about how well I'm going to do during the zombie apocolypse OMG -- I did the same thing with Zombies, run! It took a long time for my leg to heal. I told the doctor I was attacked by zombies Yeah, I tried to explain this to my doctor, but I don't think she saw the humor in it
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Post by ljsmom on Sept 4, 2014 20:26:51 GMT
I broke a finger playing bunco with a group of women at church. Seriously. Myself and gal across the table when grabbing for the dice and my finger jammed into her open palm. HOLY HELL! I sat there stunned and crying and the whole room just looked at me not sure what to do. Then I became a mess of laughing and crying b/c even in the moment I realized how ridiculous it was that I had just jacked up my finger at BUNCO AT CHURCH!
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Post by quinmm14 on Sept 4, 2014 20:55:28 GMT
I broke a finger playing bunco with a group of women at church. Seriously. Myself and gal across the table when grabbing for the dice and my finger jammed into her open palm. HOLY HELL! I sat there stunned and crying and the whole room just looked at me not sure what to do. Then I became a mess of laughing and crying b/c even in the moment I realized how ridiculous it was that I had just jacked up my finger at BUNCO AT CHURCH! Extra points if you didn't swear! Ouch!
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Post by barbarac on Sept 4, 2014 21:08:09 GMT
I tripped up the steps at the Empire State Building and broke my arm.
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Post by melly on Sept 4, 2014 21:15:57 GMT
I feel really guilty for laughing so hard at some of three! I figure I only have that right because I, too, have been in pain before. My stories aren't nearly as weird as some of these, but here are a couple- A horse I was exercising got out of control galloping, and it felt like she was going to jump a really high barbed wire fence. So I decided to bail. She swerved to avoid the fence at the same time, so basically I was flung off her side, and I skidded on my back, head first, about 20 feet on gravel. The helmet I was borrowing split in half. Bloody back and arms with gravel stuck all over me, but I had to get back on and ride her for another hour. Ouch! I broke my big toe while just walking down the hall. Not running, I didn't trip on anything or stub it... I don't even know how it happened. I ran into a few things and got black eyes and a bloody nose- mostly doors or walls, but one time it was a piano. I was a sleepy teenager when all of those incidents occurred. I hurt my back all the time doing dumb, normal things. Usually just sleeping. I will wake up unable to move and have to go to the chiropractor for the next month. Once I flipped my hair after towel trying it and tore something in my upper back and had to have physical therapy and everything. I broke the side of my foot 2 minutes in to my first soccer practice ever, in 5th grade, by stepping in a hole. Never played soccer again. Those are just a sampling of my clumsiness. Nothing too serious at all, but after typing all that and reading it again, I feel like I should live in a padded room for my own safety! Maybe I should delete some of these... LOL Oh! Thought of one more strange one. When I was a toddler, we were at my big brother's basketball game. We were at the top of the bleachers. A basketball was thrown really hard, hit the wall behind us, bounced back and hit me in the back, sending me flying over all the bleachers and landing on the court! The game was stopped and the guy who threw the ball felt so bad. I don't remember this one of course, but I have heard it many times!
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Post by genny on Sept 4, 2014 22:06:12 GMT
I have two.
Putting some stuff up in the attic about 10 years ago. Lost my balance going up the attic latter - I went to grab anything to stop myself and ended up missing the metal hinge on the ladder with my hand but hit it with my wrist and my arm slid down it until I finally fell all the way off the ladder. It sliced my wrist open - and looked just like I had slit my wrist. It was so bad I had to go to the ER to get stitches - they truly didn't believe me and were calling in a counselor. I was SO embarrassed! Luckily the box I was putting up there was light so it didn't hurt me when it fell on me. Jeez that was a mess.
Another time I had taken my kids to the park - it was cold out and my hands were really dry. I was going across the monkey bars and my hand just slipped off the cold metal and I went down face first with my arms splayed out. For whatever reason the reaction to brace myself just did not happen at all! I had bruises up and down my arms for a week and you could tell people thought I was lying when I tried to explain. Good thing my kids were witnesses!
DD walked too close to a swing set at school when she was in 1st or 2nd grade and got hit by a kid on the swing - broke her hand!
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Sept 4, 2014 22:59:34 GMT
A long time ago...I was putting dishes away and a plate slipped and sliced me between my thumb and first finger, had to get stitches.
Another time I fell down our spiral stairs and my big toe and the next toe went on either side of the spindle, stitches in between my toes.
We had just started our woodburner for the winter (the 1st night) and I moved the tool stand to the other side of the burner. Got up in the middle of the night to put some wood on, forgot I moved the tools and fell in between the tools and the woodburner, second degree burns on my arm and back.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 1:35:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2014 23:16:02 GMT
We have a small shower (30x30) and I was kicking my leg up on the wall to shave the lower half. I kicked it fast and hard and wound up kicking the shower door handle right at the sharp part. It went between my little and 4th toe and sliced a hole in it about 1/2 inch deep. They couldn't sew it at the ER because there wasn't enough skin so they glued it. I also broke those 2 toes. To top it off, I had to have a tetnus shot, which I was allergic to, and my arm swelled up to about 2x its normal size and was so hard and hot to the touch for 2 weeks!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 27, 2024 1:35:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
this has to be an autocorrect That's also what I thought, I'm now pretty sure funbag = boob! At any rate, ye-ikes! Well... to a guy, it might be considered a fun bag!
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Post by moosedogtoo on Sept 4, 2014 23:25:43 GMT
I kicked what I thought was an empty paper sack sitting beside my parents' kitchen trash. Unfortunately, my mom was throwing out a bunch of old phone books and I broke my toe.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,229
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Sept 4, 2014 23:51:13 GMT
I dropped my CHI flatiron on my foot and broke my second toe. Another time, I dropped the same flatiron and it landed with a perfect grip on my ankle. Burned both sides of it and hurt like hell. I seriously thought about giving up the flatiron after those two incidents, but my lumpy hair won out.
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kimpea
Junior Member
Posts: 87
Jun 25, 2014 21:44:25 GMT
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Post by kimpea on Sept 5, 2014 0:23:08 GMT
Walking down our steep icy drive I slipped, landed on my bottom and went sliding down really fast. I slide face first into the bumper of my dad's Buick and got a black eye. When I went to school neither my teacher or the principal believed my story. Both thought my dad must've hit me. Finally they called my brother out of class to ask him what happened. He was laughing quite animatedly as he retold the story so they finally believed me. Thank goodness my brother found it hilarious that I got hurt or my dad may have been hauled down to the police station.
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Post by ametallichick on Sept 5, 2014 0:30:10 GMT
I once slammed the back door of our Suburban on my right bicep. Still can't figure out how that happened. I had a huge bruise!! I knew a woman that tore her Achilles Tendon while putting on a thong. Then my friend's mother tripped over the dog and slammed her face and shoulder in to the corner of her fireplace. Shoulder needed surgery. Lost 4 teeth and needed reconstructive surgery on her gums.
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Post by mama2three on Sept 5, 2014 0:49:26 GMT
this has to be an autocorrect That's also what I thought, I'm now pretty sure funbag = boob! At any rate, ye-ikes! Yikes! Am I the only one LOL? I have never heard that term!
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Sept 5, 2014 0:51:59 GMT
I was 4 I think and I was standing on a stool at the sink helping my mom wash dishes. She went to the restroom and I was washing a glass. I had my arm stuck down in it and it broke (I don't remember how or why) and sliced my arm open. It was right on the artery so every time my heart beat blood would spurt out. I went running to my mom on the toilet (ha!) with blood shooting up in the air. She freaked out! My dad had to hold pressure on it while mom drove me to the hospital. My dad saved my life. <3 Around that time I fell over the side of our staircase- about 6-7 steps up maybe. It didn't have a bannister or anything, it was a 70's house and I guess that was a style. So I fell over the side and slide across the floor. I ended up with a concussion and a broken collarbone. My poor mom!
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Post by Lexica on Sept 5, 2014 0:56:07 GMT
I've got a few of these.
When I was in high school, I was in the gym after class and getting dressed to go to the next class. The girl next to me used her deoderant, which in those days came in a glass bottle. I gather it was also pressurized. She spritzed it on and went to fling it back into her locker. She hit the edge of the metal locker and it exploded. I had just been bending over removing my gym shoes, and thank God had stood back up only seconds before the explosion. It threw glass shards out for a few feet from the pressure of it. She started crying right away. I thought she had been hurt by it. I saw blood all over the floor. When I tried to console her and check out her injury, she said it wasn't her, it was me! I had't really registered the feeling yet. Looking down, I saw that I had shards embedded in my leg from my thigh down to mid calf. Then I started crying. I wasn't in much pain, but her crying made me cry. I eventually did cry from the pain when I was sent to the office and the woman in there tried to take a wet paper towel and scrub my leg off. There were still shards of glass in there and her scrubbing certainly didn't make it feel better. I wanted to just go home. My mom was a nurse and I wanted her to pick the glass shards out. The school wouldn't release me to drive myself home so I called her to come get me. I felt so badly for the girl with the deoderant. It totally was an accident and not her fault. I heard her mom called the school to see how I was later that day. When word got around that a nurse picked me up, people were somewhat freaking out. They didn't realize it was my mom. My mom happened to be in her uniform when she came to get me. That's also back when they were required to wear the white uniform, white nylons and shoes, and a white hat styled from the school you graduated from, so she looked really official instead of how casual nurses get to dress these days.
I also tripped on a piece of wood my son left in my driveway. I fell and cracked my wrist bone.
I was pulling out a chair in my dining room to check my son's homework. My feet got tangled up and I fell sideways. I put my hand out to catch myself and my finger hit the wall and was jammed back up into my hand. It made the finger pop out of the knuckle and it was laying sideways across my baby finger. The really bad part of that was I was in the final stages of court reporting and it cost me about a year and a half before I got it to where I could move it fast enough to type again. That one sucked. It was really painful too. It would straighten out and would be impossible to bend. Then they put it in a bent contraption and it refused to straighten out again. They finally put an exercise gadget on there where I had to do like finger sit ups every 30 minutes. OMG. I can still recall the pain on that one.
I also fell in my bedroom getting ready for work one morning. I was trying to step over the sitting bench that I had in front of my closet doors. My right leg, the one that has never operated well since my spinal surgery, caught the edge of the bench and I lost balance. I started trying to regain it, hopping around. I started falling and all I could see was the sliding glass door on one side of me and the dresser edge on the other. I tried to land squarely between them. I did it, but as I landed, I felt the two bones in my forearm shatter my elbow bone and come popping out the back of my arm. That wasn't fun. Took a year to get it to function properly again. For the longest time, I couldn't lower it all the way. It looked like I was holding it out over a super full skirt on one side of me while the other side went straight down.
I have a few others in there, but these are the most memorable.
My last one was coming down the stairs late one night to get a glass of ice water. I drink a ton of water, but it has to be very cold. I was coming down the stairs and my male cat heard me. He jumped through the open stairs to greet me and just happened to land on the very stair I was stepping onto. I felt him under my foot and the next thing I knew, I was heading forward and down the staircase. The only thought that I remember is "this isn't going to end well" and then I guess I landed and blacked out. I woke up 4 hours later vomiting. I had broken ribs, a broken clavicle, broke the bone behind my eye socket. That was over 3 years ago. I still have a dent in my forehead where I guess I took the greatest impact. For the longest time, I couldn't move one eyebrow. That whole side of my head was numb and swollen and I couldn't move it for the life of me. The swelling finally went away, and I know this sounds stupid, but I had to do like a physical therapy on my eyebrow to make it start to respond to moving upward again. That was a therapy on my own, I didn't mention it to my doctor. It was embarrasing enough to see people look at me weird as I was talking. I know one side was moving as it normally does in conversation and the other side was just laying there all lazy. I started parting my hair so that the hair covered the dent so people wouldn't notice the stiff eyebrow as easily. The swelling is now gone, the eyebrow moves now, but that darned dent is still there. Oh, and my kitty is fine. I guess I must have fallen forward and didn't actually step on him. Poor kitty must have been spooked. But he still comes to me for loving and pets, so no grudge held.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Sept 5, 2014 1:24:00 GMT
I dropped my large barrel curling iron on my breast. Hurt like a mother and I had a nice burn for weeks.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,642
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Sept 5, 2014 2:03:06 GMT
I was STANDING STILL in a garage, talking to my DH. He was at least 10 feet away from me. I wasn't swaying or moving in any way. Just standing there talking. Next thing I knew, my leg went out from under me and twisted so hard that my ankle swelled up and turned black and blue. I had to use crutches for over a week. I still cannot understand how I twisted my ankle standing still. And people wonder why I don't do yoga or zumba. I'd kill myself!
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Post by angiet on Sept 5, 2014 2:10:28 GMT
When my dd was 4, she had beginning swimming lessons where the parents were in the water with them. This particular night the parents were catching the kids as they jumped into the pool. DD had jumped several times and enjoyed it. The last time, she jumped before I was ready for her. Her tooth hit right above my left eye.
There was blood every where but it soon stopped. The next morning when I woke up, my eye and most of my face was swollen. The doctor who treated me said that technically it was a bite and human bites were full of bacteria. I had a double infection and it took several days for it to clear up. I still have a scar!
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,170
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Sept 5, 2014 2:12:17 GMT
I was in the hall at school, talking to another teacher. Answered her question, turned to go on down the hall and rolled my ankle. I fell and broke a bone on the side of my foot.
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Post by genealopea on Sept 5, 2014 2:54:55 GMT
When I was about six, I was playing in a friend's yard. His dad was an avid golfer, and had rigged up a way to practice hitting the golf balls... he had a golf ball attached to a long elastic cord, which was tied to the top of a metal stake in the ground. For some reason, I picked up the golf ball and my friend pulled the rusty metal stake out of the ground. We kept backing away from each other to see how far the cord would stretch. The stake slipped out of his hand, and since I was holding the golf ball, it came towards me. The metal rod went through my left arm. My friend flew into his house and hid under his bed. My dad wrapped me in a blanket and got me to the ER. I can remember the ER doc telling me how very lucky I was... if I'd have moved to the right an inch, the rod would have shattered the bone in my arm and I probably would have lost that arm. If I'd been an inch to the left, it would have gone through my heart. Yikes! Nearly half a century later, I still have the scars on my arm. Better than the alternatives!
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Post by whipea on Sept 5, 2014 3:15:06 GMT
These are awesome! As a full card bearing member of the klutz club I will share a few; At about age three while playing "Three Stooges" had a terracotta flower pot broken over my head. Ended up with 18 stitches.
At age four got my middle finger caught between the sprocket and the chain on a bike, the bike was upside down, and the top of my finger was crushed. It is still very weird looking, the finger points one way and the nail grows another.
At age five, I was somewhere up in one of the northern states with my parents and I climbed up a steep rock hill. When I started down I slipped and went feet first on my chest down the hill. I had road rash from my face to my waist.
Then there was the time I stuck my elbow in a moving metal ceiling fan and ended up with seventeen stitches and a fractured elbow.
I can go on and on with all kinds of laceration and broken bone weirdness, but the most recent event was when I slipped going up the stairs, about halfway up and went down backwards. Landed on a large dog who was following me. She was not hurt, just scared but I broke a rib.
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Post by smokeynspike on Sept 5, 2014 3:39:31 GMT
The worst injury I ever had was the first time I broke my ulna and radius in my lower arm: I fell out of a lawn chair onto a deck. Who breaks their arm falling out of a lawn chair? Then I rebroke it three months later a week after getting my cast off, but I went into immediate shock (didn't even realize I had rebroken it until I saw the U shape) so that didn't hurt so much initially.
Melissa
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,895
Location: Northern Virginia
Aug 7, 2014 22:09:44 GMT
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Sept 5, 2014 4:24:00 GMT
Geez, so many great stories here...and strangely reassuring to know that I'm not the only klutz in the bunch!
I've had quite a few random klutzy moments that ended in injury (nothing more serious than a fractured bone though). The strangest is probably the time when I was about 9 and had just finished a game of tennis at the local park... Thought it would be fun to run up and jump over the net like I had seen players do on TV...not thinking that those athletes are a) adults and therefore taller; and b)smart enough to wait until the nets are lowered! Anyway, I ran up at full speed, then chickened out at the very last second (probably realizing then that the net was too high). However, it was too late to stop my forward momentum, so instead of jumping over, I ducked under the net at the part near the middle where there's a space between two nets. Well when most people duck, they bend their head forward -- no, not me, I evidently did some sort of weird limbo move where I threw my head back as I ducked under and the wire cable scraped all the way up my neck! It was a lovely red/purple mess for several weeks that summer. And I'm sure I got tired of explaining it (not to mention what my parents must have gone through)! It looked worse than it was though since it was really just scrapes and bruises (with a wire cable sort of imprint). Probably looked like I had survived an attempted strangling...
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Sept 6, 2014 19:38:41 GMT
I am going to Hell. Yes, I know I am because it is just not right to admit that I laughed all the way through this thread.
And now I am afraid I am jinxed.
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Post by Jen in NCal on Sept 6, 2014 19:47:45 GMT
I rolled drunkenly out of my niece's bed, slipped on the floor and hit the top of my cheekbone on the edge of her red toy piano. Black eye, concussion and much laughter ensued. Two years later and there is still a tiny chip of broken bone I can feel.
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Post by chaosisapony on Sept 6, 2014 20:10:35 GMT
I used to be really into aquariums. Several years ago I found a piece of wood I wanted to put in my aquarium. It needed to be immersed in water for a few weeks to get it to sink. So I took it outside and put it in a big bucket of water and was going to use a cinder block to hold it down in the bucket. I picked up the cinder block with my wet hands. It slipped out of them and landed on my toe. Holy * [HASH]$! the pain! My toe still doesn't move correctly, it is just sort of stuck in place.
And for one more:
This past winter I decided to try to ride my horse bareback. I was on a slope, the ground was muddy and I am not tall enough to get on him without a mounting block. So I grabbed the metal crate I typically use to get on and stood on it with my muddy shoes. I am still on the muddy slope. I took a giant leap of faith! Didn't even make it half way up on the horse because my feet slipped, the crate slipped and I came back down underneath my horse. The way I landed caused the corner of the metal crate to end up making best friends with my vagina. I actually cried it hurt so bad and I couldn't sit down without pain for a couple of days.
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