Book club dilemma - WWTPD?

I think that when it's your turn to pick a book on something that matters, you should pick one that relates to something you find very important. Clearly she feels strongly that ending abortion matters, and found a book that she thought would fit the theme. I am of the mindset that you join a book club in the hope of reading new things and sharing the different ways people interpreted the writing. I think you are going to have the same opinion no matter who picks the book next time, no matter the subject. (the opinion being that they are furthering their agendas). I don't think that's the case. I am wondering if this is the theme for the whole year, if maybe this is no longer the right book club for you.

For what it's worth I would be uncomfortable reading both of those books. I'm not a fan of Nie Nies, and won't waste my reading time on her story. And i am also pro choice, and am not too interested in reading a book about a former abortion dr. Though, of the two is much rather read the abortion dr one. I would probably opt out of reading them both. I wouldn't say anything about it, unless asked. But I would reevaluate whether his club were still a good fit for me.

As long as there was nothing negative said about the 2 books you mentioned, you should feel free to choose one written by one of your favorite Atheist authors.

It sounds to me like it's not a good fit for you. And it also sounds like you're looking for a reason to bow out so I would just tell them that you'll be too busy this next year to participate. I don't think it's necessary to tell them why exactly unless that's a discussion you want to have.

I agree that this book club doesn't sound like a good fit for you. That's a shame, because I have found my book club to be one of the most enriching things that I do for myself. Even though I belong to an organized religion, I wouldn't enjoy what you're describing either.

My book club runs differently in that everyone brings books at the beginning of the year and we vote. Only once in 15 years of belonging did we choose something that I did not want to read because of personal beliefs. I simply didn't go that month and didn't say anything to anyone.

We have had some pretty contentious discussions even without books that have a particular premise. We decided a long time ago to stay away from self-help books because it just got too personal. No one has ever brought any books such as you've described, and I think as a group we would vote down anything that promoted any particular viewpoint.


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Your statements are contradictory. Why would an atheist would join a book club that includes books in the religious genre ? Why complain about a book written by a LDS woman who survives a plane crash? I think some people love feigned outrage and look to be offended.

I think the OP is less "looking" to be offended than noting that when the theme was countries, someone chose a book that was NOT part of the theme. Instead that person chose a faith-based book. I can see why the OP would view that as pushing an agenda.

The abortion book would not be one I would read and I wouldn't attend that meeting because at this point, having heard the debate for 30+ years, I'm no longer interested in debating the topic or hearing other people's opinions on it.

At this point, I would not attend. If asked why, i would state my reasons. If I saw that other books coming up were veering in directions I didn't find valuable, I'd bow out of the club. But right now, I'd wait and see -- if that is, I'd found the meetings fun and useful before. Sometimes it's a temporary glitch or hiccup and sometimes it's sign of change. You don't know until you wait and see.

I've been a member of my book club for over 12 years. There are two or three of us who are WAYYYYY more liberal than the rest. The rest are pretty faithful and conservative in their views.

The way I look at it is that the beauty of book club is that it forces you to read books that you would probably not choose on your own. Sometimes those books go against every single thing I believe in, but they *do* give me insight into how someone else might believe how they believe. I have learned all kinds of things, I have rethought some of my own beliefs...and over the course of a decade plus, I have become more compassionate and understanding because I have been exposed to not only new books but the beliefs behind them through discussion.

My group is pretty cool though. We have never had any kind of animosity, we all tend to just roll along. There is good-natured teasing (as in "hey anxious, you need to stop watching CNN and start watching FOX to see what's really happening..." and always done with good intentions not meanness.) 

Saying all that, I would gently suggest that a good review of how you feel about participation in that particular book club. If you are not getting any joy from attending, then perhaps it isn't the right fit? I know that with my group the enjoyment I get isn't just from the book/discussion...it is the sisterhood I find within my group-and to me that is just as important. 

I also think you should find another book club.

This one hasn't been a good fit for you for awhile now, and that doesn't seem likely to change anytime soon.

Maybe your Hawaiian member just has crappy taste in reading material. I'm LDS and I wouldn't want to read that book and I certainly wouldn't try to foist it onto others. I don't particularly care for the LDS genre in books anyway.

In the book club I used to be in we voted on books. Someone would make a recommendation and if there was enough interest in it, we would read it. Those that didn't want to could skip that month or not read it and still show up for the food and socialization. No one thought badly of them. But maybe this group isn't a good fit for you. With the theme of Things That Matter, you're probably going to be reading about everyone's personal cause this year. Is that something you are interested in. It's basically making book club a platform for each member to sell what they believe in. I wouldn't like that.

wow, really? i wasn't saying you didn't know that, just making a point that her take on countries might've been more literal than yours. unclench. generally true about the mormons tho, i was giving her the benefit of the doubt. either way, sounds like you need a new book club.

You said the theme was countries. She picked a book written by a fellow countryman about her life in her country. While you may have preferred she pick a Hawaiian author, apparently she didn't. What if she was from New York? Would you be as offended if she didn't pick a book by a New York author?

And why is it specific to this woman? Why do you feel she was pushing her agenda, but the person who picked a book with the Hindu characters wasn't pushing Hindu, and the book with the Jewish characters wasn't pushing Judaism? What is the difference?

It sounds like it is time for you to move on and find a group that is a better fit.