bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,640 
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Post by bethany102399 on Dec 12, 2017 19:36:05 GMT
You know, white elephants suck when it's a range of gifts from nice to crap. it feels like it only works if everyone is on the same page in terms of everyone is giving something funny/quirky vs something nice (er)
Signed,
the person who got a banana slicer in the office white elephant exchange, while several others got gift cards and coffee mugs.
I'm just bitter today. I gave a funny day calendar, and firmly believe in putting something nice(er) in or at least putting a gift card in with the crap. I need to let it go, the person who put in the slicer is my boss. I am therefore saying it here.
The pea who got the live mouse one year still wins.
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Deleted
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Nov 1, 2024 15:36:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2017 19:39:15 GMT
I got green socks once, another time it was a cheap plastic Christmas pin...but the winner for me was the "used" container that you could still smell the vinegar that was used to "clean" it.
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River
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Location: Alabama
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Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Dec 12, 2017 19:40:23 GMT
I am so glad my family has stopped doing these exchanges! I get they can be fun, but for that to happen I think everyone has to be on the same page. Clearly my family was never on the same page.  BTW...what the heck is a banana slicer? Off to google. |
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Post by littlemama on Dec 12, 2017 19:42:56 GMT
There are too many variations of that game to make it fun for everyone.
- slightly used items that you just don't like or use
- nice gifts costing a certain amount
- crap, trying to be funny.
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Post by bbkeef on Dec 12, 2017 19:44:50 GMT
I have a secret Santa story from years ago. A boss no one really liked, forgot about our holiday luncheon/secret Santa party. She quick runs to her office and bags up a dusty old candle holder The rest of us got nice gift cards and candies. You could guess who the gift was from and she totally bragged that she grabbed it off her desk. She looked like a total a$$. The organizer specifically wanted it to be Secret Santa and NOT white elephant stuff.
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Post by myshelly on Dec 12, 2017 19:47:23 GMT
The easy solution is don't use the term "white elephant" because different people think that term means different things.
If I hear "white elephant" I think it's supposed to be a crappy gag gift, the funnier or more random the better.
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on Dec 12, 2017 19:59:26 GMT
They've tried to turn it into secret santa and upscale the gifts in the past, people complained. Of course, their idea of upscaling the gifts was to put a higher dollar amount on it than most of us were comfortable with. There were several "crap" gifts this year, but almost all of them had a gift card with them. Except of course the one I got.
I don't know why I'm pissy about it but I am. I think it's bleeding into a larger argument I'm having wth DH right now over the fact that I do 99.9% of the shopping/wrapping/baking that surrounds Christmas and all I ask in return is for him to put at least one item under the tree for me. He has yet to do this, and we got into a pretty big fight about it. I'm really tired of putting in time and effort and not getting anything in return. It makes me feel very unloved. Sorry, that went on a bit of a tangent there. I'm PMSing and it's causing me to be weepy.
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PrettyInPeank
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Posts: 4,691
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Dec 12, 2017 20:01:54 GMT
I am so glad my family has stopped doing these exchanges! I get they can be fun, but for that to happen I think everyone has to be on the same page. Clearly my family was never on the same page. BTW...what the heck is a banana slicer? Off to google. Read the reviews on Amazon while you're at it. 😂 |
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Post by hdoublej on Dec 12, 2017 20:04:13 GMT
Yeah, that stinks!! I'm really glad we don't do those anymore where I work. This was the first year we did practical gifts instead of gag gifts and it was wonderful! Everyone had a blast and came home with something they could use. Sorry you got such a crappy gift.
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PrettyInPeank
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Posts: 4,691
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Dec 12, 2017 20:04:17 GMT
They've tried to turn it into secret santa and upscale the gifts in the past, people complained. Of course, their idea of upscaling the gifts was to put a higher dollar amount on it than most of us were comfortable with. There were several "crap" gifts this year, but almost all of them had a gift card with them. Except of course the one I got. I don't know why I'm pissy about it but I am. I think it's bleeding into a larger argument I'm having wth DH right now over the fact that I do 99.9% of the shopping/wrapping/baking that surrounds Christmas and all I ask in return is for him to put at least one item under the tree for me. He has yet to do this, and we got into a pretty big fight about it. I'm really tired of putting in time and effort and not getting anything in return. It makes me feel very unloved. Sorry, that went on a bit of a tangent there. I'm PMSing and it's causing me to be weepy. Don't put up with it. Don't buy him gifts, don't buy his parent's gifts, don't buy his boss a gift, or whoever you take care of on his behalf. If he doesn't wrap your stuff, don't wrap his. Leave it in the plastic bag. Sometimes people have to feel something to get it. |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 12, 2017 20:07:07 GMT
I don't know why I'm pissy about it but I am. I think it's bleeding into a larger argument I'm having wth DH right now over the fact that I do 99.9% of the shopping/wrapping/baking that surrounds Christmas and all I ask in return is for him to put at least one item under the tree for me. He has yet to do this, and we got into a pretty big fight about it. I'm really tired of putting in time and effort and not getting anything in return. It makes me feel very unloved. Sorry, that went on a bit of a tangent there. I'm PMSing and it's causing me to be weepy. I understand. After 38 years, I have given up. I buy myself a nice gift, usually a purse I wouldn't buy for myself, and put it under the tree from him. Why is it so hard? RE: original post - I hate white elephant gift exchanges. I don't want to put effort into a crappy gift, nor do I wish to receive one. |
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breetheflea
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Posts: 6,458
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Dec 12, 2017 20:16:42 GMT
I had a movie I wanted, and at the last minute someone stole it from me, I ended up with a voltage tester... I also ended up with a Beanie Baby one year. You are right, people really need to be on the same page as to what kind of gifts...
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 12, 2017 20:18:33 GMT
The easy solution is don't use the term "white elephant" because different people think that term means different things. If I hear "white elephant" I think it's supposed to be a crappy gag gift, the funnier or more random the better. This is how we see them here too. "White elephant" means random crap and gift exchange is something people would actually want. |
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on Dec 12, 2017 20:18:48 GMT
I buy myself a nice gift, I hate this, and I'm sorry that you've had to resort to it. Because of the way my life is structured I know literally everything under the tree. I help my mom shop, I often shop for my kids to help ILs who live out of state - saves on shipping if we buy it here and they just send us funds- of course I get DH's stuff. I'd love to not know what's under the tree. I accepted a long time ago that he's just not a gifter, his part in that is that he's willing to let me give him a list. I draw the line at buying it for myself. Spend the effort and energy to pick something, I know our budget when I make the list I'm not going to go over it. I thought he learned in 2012, which was hands down the worst year of our adult lives. He had been unemployed all year, I had some health issues, my car died forcing me to take the bus to work for months, it was awful. We traveled to ATL to see his parents and our plane tickets were our Christmas gift from them. I had hustled to get stuff down there for our kids and managed to get him something too. He couldn't be bothered, and I had nothing to open Christmas morning. MIL was mortified. I was pissed and let him know it too. it's not about the item it's about the effort and taking the time. |
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Post by annabella on Dec 12, 2017 20:20:03 GMT
My co-worker entered a horn for your cat to wear.
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Post by padresfan619 on Dec 12, 2017 20:20:58 GMT
You know, white elephants suck when it's a range of gifts from nice to crap. it feels like it only works if everyone is on the same page in terms of everyone is giving something funny/quirky vs something nice (er) Signed, the person who got a banana slicer in the office white elephant exchange, while several others got gift cards and coffee mugs. I'm just bitter today. I gave a funny day calendar, and firmly believe in putting something nice(er) in or at least putting a gift card in with the crap. I need to let it go, the person who put in the slicer is my boss. I am therefore saying it here. The pea who got the live mouse one year still wins. Oh hey that was my office! We are doing white elephant again this year and had to put rules in place. No trash, no live animals, no dead animals, and the company will reimburse everyone up to $10 to try to encourage people to bring something half way decent. |
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Post by beaglemom on Dec 12, 2017 20:32:14 GMT
They've tried to turn it into secret santa and upscale the gifts in the past, people complained. Of course, their idea of upscaling the gifts was to put a higher dollar amount on it than most of us were comfortable with. There were several "crap" gifts this year, but almost all of them had a gift card with them. Except of course the one I got. I don't know why I'm pissy about it but I am. I think it's bleeding into a larger argument I'm having wth DH right now over the fact that I do 99.9% of the shopping/wrapping/baking that surrounds Christmas and all I ask in return is for him to put at least one item under the tree for me. He has yet to do this, and we got into a pretty big fight about it. I'm really tired of putting in time and effort and not getting anything in return. It makes me feel very unloved. Sorry, that went on a bit of a tangent there. I'm PMSing and it's causing me to be weepy. I liked this....as a total validation for how you are feeling. My dh sucks at gifts. We just bought a new house, I dealt with all the financing, 95% of the packing, 95% of orchestrating the movers, and now 95% of the unpacking. We do Hannukah and Christmas. I have bought 8 night of Hannukah gifts for 3 kids and him, I am 99% sure he hasn't gotten me anything. And I have bought 95% of the kid's Christmas presents. He'll probably end up getting some of the random house stuff on my Amazon wishlist (that is there for everyone other than him). I tend to buy myself something after the holidays if he fails as my Christmas present - at least that way I get something I want. Rather than the random thing that he decides I might like, but he ends up using more than me (the cold press juicer, sous vide...). |
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 12, 2017 20:54:17 GMT
Sometimes people have to be told repeatedly (until they learn) how to do things. Our first Christmas I wanted a pair of sweats. Any color BUT grey. He heard grey sweats. I still remind him of his gifting skills from 30 years ago. Now I make a list and all three of the men who buy for me go right off of that list. No surprises. Not much fun, but it is what it is. The other 362 non gift giving days they are pretty darn awesome. I have to remind myself that they clean the house, grocery shop, do laundry, fix anything techie and lift heavy things for me all of the time.
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Post by cade387 on Dec 12, 2017 20:57:58 GMT
I would save the banana slicer for next year. When I get something shitty I bring it back for next year.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 12, 2017 21:01:01 GMT
There are too many variations of that game to make it fun for everyone. - slightly used items that you just don't like or use - nice gifts costing a certain amount - crap, trying to be funny. I agree!! |
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Deleted
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Nov 1, 2024 15:36:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2017 21:04:54 GMT
I hate dh's family stocking exchange. It's essentially a white elephant gift exchange except that you have to buy something for everyone. Because no wish lists are exchanged and price limit is usually $5 or less per person, you end up with target dollar spot stuff or something with a clearance sticker on it. I'm still annoyed with the Thanksgiving paper plates with the .75 sticker on it from Target I got one year.
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Post by Mary_K on Dec 12, 2017 21:12:54 GMT
Totally agree.
Just got down with our office party. The gift limit was $25.00. These people can afford $25.00 gifts.
I brought a $25 gift.
Many people brought $10 or less. Like the mug that said "Most Ordinary Employee". Just the mug.
Or the fluffy socks (they were $1.00 at the Old Navy black Friday) with a pkg of hot chocolate. 1 pkg. No mug.
Mary K
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Post by Mary_K on Dec 12, 2017 21:14:08 GMT
My co-worker entered a horn for your cat to wear. Unbelievable.  |
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,640
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Post by bethany102399 on Dec 12, 2017 21:18:48 GMT
You know I'm tempted to just sit out next year. Attend the party, bring a dish to the pot luck and then just politely pass the cup when the numbers come around. No time or expense on my part beyond what I consume in the form of wonderful food my co-workers bring. There are a large group of us, I bet if I just passed the cup without taking a number, no one would notice.
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Post by christine58 on Dec 12, 2017 21:22:02 GMT
I liked this....as a total validation for how you are feeling. My dh sucks at gifts. We just bought a new house, I dealt with all the financing, 95% of the packing, 95% of orchestrating the movers, and now 95% of the unpacking. We do Hannukah and Christmas. I have bought 8 night of Hannukah gifts for 3 kids and him, I am 99% sure he hasn't gotten me anything. And I have bought 95% of the kid's Christmas presents. He'll probably end up getting some of the random house stuff on my Amazon wishlist (that is there for everyone other than him). I tend to buy myself something after the holidays if he fails as my Christmas present - at least that way I get something I want. Rather than the random thing that he decides I might like, but he ends up using more than me (the cold press juicer, sous vide...). AND...there's a baby on the way.... Give him a good talking to!! |
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perumbula
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Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
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Post by perumbula on Dec 12, 2017 21:28:44 GMT
I still remember how awful I felt at my first work gift exchange when everyone around me got something fun and I got a roll of toilet paper the guy had stolen out of the bathroom. I lived in college dorms at the time and all our TP was provided, so it wasn't even useful. He thought it was super hilarious and kept coming over to me to tell me how funny he was.
I seem to have the worst luck at these things, too. I'll always get the thing I wanted the least. If I choose something cool to start with, it will get stolen and I'll still end up with something stupid.
I really want to like gift exchanges. I do. I go in with low expectations and try and remind myself that if I really wanted a bag of Kisses, I could buy one, but it doesn't always work.
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Post by mrssmith on Dec 12, 2017 21:29:09 GMT
The worst and most awkward one I participated in was when our team boss bought all the items herself and decided we would do a gift swap. The stuff was mostly awful. I did end up with some coasters (French poster themed). There were totally random things like peppermint schnapps and placemats and a candy dish and some fold up beach totes. It was so awkward and she was trying way too hard to make it festive. It was clearly a last minute idea to do some team bonding.
I think things like this should be optional with strict guidelines, or dropped entirely.
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Dec 12, 2017 21:32:19 GMT
Ugh, that stinks. Gift exchanges only work when the rules/expectations are crystal clear. We do a joke/junk white elephant with my family that is always a ton of fun - lots of joking and oddball items. We tried to do one at my office, but some people didn't seem to understand the joke part of it. One lady wrapped up a very old bedspread from her basement. It wasn't funny, it was just yucky. I quite participating after that one.
Husbands not helping with the holidays is the #1 complaint I hear at this time of year. A couple years ago I told my husband he was responsible for buying gifts for his side of the family and making the visiting arrangements, and I stuck to it. It made me SO HAPPY to hear him complain about stores being packed and wrapping gifts and not hearing back from his sister. HA ha ha.
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Post by Merge on Dec 12, 2017 21:38:50 GMT
I never participate in white elephants or secret santa. I always put in a lot of effort to get a nice gift and then get stuck with crap myself.
If that makes me a grinch, so be it. I'd rather give the money to charity, where there's no expectation of something in return.
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Post by quinmm14 on Dec 12, 2017 21:49:19 GMT
You know I'm tempted to just sit out next year. Attend the party, bring a dish to the pot luck and then just politely pass the cup when the numbers come around. No time or expense on my part beyond what I consume in the form of wonderful food my co-workers bring. There are a large group of us, I bet if I just passed the cup without taking a number, no one would notice. You know what? That’s what I did this year. I’m going to be on vacation anyway, and won’t have to go into the office to deliver a gift or bonus, return in the new year and deal with a random crap gift. The stink eyes will probably roll but who cares! |
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