|
Post by cadoodlebug on Dec 26, 2017 17:46:37 GMT
My family continues to amaze me. My sibling does a photo calendar for my parents every year. She's stated she it's a pain, makes a big deal of it. She always puts in a request that I give pictures, help put them in, etc. My kids are older now and I just don't have pictures nor do I care to make an effort to take them for her project (that she complains about every year!) Last year it was a scramble because she made the request last minute and I had to bug the kids to send them. This year I thought i'd solved the issue. We haven't been getting along so I was kind of surprised to get an email about it. I replied that it was time to go our separate ways on this! I further stated that I was surprised she'd ask (because the issues we're having are big and she's made no effort to resolve) and I was sure our parents would be happy to have a calendar with just her kids. I figured finally we are free of this, that the calendar issue is finally done for me! Today a family member dropped off a calendar. Opening it i'm thinking cool she did her kids. NOPE my kids are in it - at first I think old pictures, then I realize there are new ones from this year. I was confused for a minute then I realized she stole my pictures off facebook to use in her gift. I'm still a bit shocked that instead of just doing her own thing, she actually went to my facebook page and lifted my photos. So it totally makes sense when someone doesn't want to be involved in your project to go take their photo's off social media right?! In the greater schemes of what has gone on this year this isn't a big deal. I'm kind of finding humor in the lengths some people will go to get what they want. But there were pictures on Facebook that she could use? Doesn't make sense to me.
|
|
|
Post by bc2ca on Dec 26, 2017 17:49:41 GMT
TBH, it really bugs me to hear someone say their photos were stolen from a social media account that the "thief" had access to. They didn't hack into your account, there is no crime here. Your sister or mother did not steal the photos. They used them. I think you need to take a deep breath and notch down your outrage.
IIRC, your children are young adults. Are you going to ask your kids to block your mom and sister so they can't see or use photos in the future?
I do understand the dynamic of dealing with an estranged sister. Mine is frustrated that her young adult children want relationships with their aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents and she is no longer able to control or limit our time.
|
|
seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,568
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
|
Post by seaexplore on Dec 26, 2017 18:09:08 GMT
I think you need to suck it up and be thankful your sister included your kids (your mom's grandkids) in her calendar.
I make one each year for both sides of my family (my parents, mil and her DH, fil and his DW) and request pictures at thanksgiving. Rarely do I get any. So, I turn to Facebook for them. I do each kids birth month with pictures of them. Months when there aren't any birthdays, I do family collages. They are a ton of work. If people sent me pictures, it would be so much easier. BUT I don't bitch about it, I just do it because the grandparents enjoy it,
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Dec 26, 2017 18:10:25 GMT
I can see both sides to this. What sticks out the most to me is that Gma probably doesn't have any issues with the grandkids appearing in the calendar, so I can see why she would want the pictures. How she got them was legal, even if it seems wrong. I'd continue to amp up my privacy settings for what I could control and be good with the rest. Hopefully you'll find some peace or even a better relationship with them in 2018.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 29, 2024 0:13:42 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2017 18:21:00 GMT
I get it, you didn't want to participate and have your kids included on a calendar made by your sister and for your mother because of other family issues. Your sister (and mother?) did it anyway. My first impression is that you need to just let it go and let your Mom enjoy her gift. Be thankful as it's not a task I would want to be burdened with putting together each and every year. But then, when you said a family member dropped off a calendar to you, that seems like a rub. I hope you guys can all get past these slights as you seem like you are already at the cutoff point and it's a shame for the grandkids to be the ones in the path of the fallout.
|
|
katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,402
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
|
Post by katybee on Dec 26, 2017 18:38:07 GMT
I get it, you didn't want to participate and have your kids included on a calendar made by your sister and for your mother because of other family issues. Your sister (and mother?) did it anyway. My first impression is that you need to just let it go and let your Mom enjoy her gift. Be thankful as it's not a task I would want to be burdened with putting together each and every year. But then, when you said a family member dropped off a calendar to you, that seems like a rub. I hope you guys can all get past these slights as you seem like you are already at the cutoff point and it's a shame for the grandkids to be the ones in the path of the fallout. Could have been a rub. Could have been a peace offering. We are really only getting one side of the story and can never know for sure...
|
|
|
Post by M~ on Dec 26, 2017 18:42:01 GMT
This reminds me of the last Christmas I spent with my relatives. My sister took a bunch of literally 10 year old pictures that she had (because she didn't have recent pictures of any of us) and made a family calendar as the gift she gave out. My psycho mother decided to go to therapy because she could not believe that after all of the money she had spent over the years on us my sister gave her a cheap calendar. It was beneath her and she had to work through the pain. True story. OMG. I'm sitting here crying with laughter. For real. OMG. I can't. Your matter-of-fact-ness coupled with the underlying ridiculousness of it all reminds me exactly of my family. OMG. I cannot.
|
|
StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,668
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
|
Post by StephDRebel on Dec 26, 2017 18:49:45 GMT
I can't see this being a fight I was willing to participate in. every conflict can use a bigger person. This is your opportunity.
|
|
|
Post by destined2bmom on Dec 26, 2017 19:01:12 GMT
This reminds me of the last Christmas I spent with my relatives. My sister took a bunch of literally 10 year old pictures that she had (because she didn't have recent pictures of any of us) and made a family calendar as the gift she gave out. My psycho mother decided to go to therapy because she could not believe that after all of the money she had spent over the years on us my sister gave her a cheap calendar. It was beneath her and she had to work through the pain. True story. scrappyesq, I am so sorry that your mom reacted that way and didn’t see it being as beautiful of a gift as it was. Huge hugs!
|
|
kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
|
Post by kelly8875 on Dec 26, 2017 20:22:12 GMT
If I was the sibling making the calendar, I would have taken it as the OP just didn't want to take the time or hassle to gather the pictures. Not that the OP didn't want to be included at all. If the OP didn't want to be included, that should have been made clear. Just assuming the sibling understands that because of some issues isn't fair. Like I tell my kids, ANY picture or information on Facebook is available to anyone. I think the sibling thought you didn't want to help at all (which you didn't), so she just did it all.
I think the grandparents would be awfully disappointed if only some of the grandkids were included.
My XMIL and my mom both take pictures from my Facebook and use them. I don't care one bit.
|
|
tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,427
Jun 27, 2014 2:27:09 GMT
|
Post by tanya2 on Dec 26, 2017 20:28:07 GMT
I'd be super pissed that she took my pics of fb & I'd be either unfriending her or at least blocking her from seeing your pics
|
|
azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
|
Post by azredhead on Dec 26, 2017 21:07:41 GMT
I can see both sides of this . I do this for my family or i had till the last two years just because things have been really bad for us here in a few different ways. But I did it for some 15yrs. But my siblings and inlaws know I'm doing it. It's become a tradition. It is easier for me to just access the pics on social media as we're spread all over in different states. It's just easier. As the family has gotten bigger I make sure I include birthdays and photos of each kid. Sometiems I miss some. It's been a tradition for a long time. It's had it's headaches as I try to add an even amount of all of them but even that doesn't work out, you can't please everyone. My mom and both SIL's and my sisters look forward to it every year. I've just one brother that's complained I don't use his kids enough and I always tell him you know I do this for several years.. without pics it's a litle hard. I do mine all digital and them my mom used to print them and then have them bound. I hope you can enjoy your new calendar. It can be a fun thing!
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 29, 2024 0:13:42 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2017 21:36:41 GMT
I can see both sides of this . I do this for my family or i had till the last two years just because things have been really bad for us here in a few different ways. But I did it for some 15yrs. But my siblings and inlaws know I'm doing it. It's become a tradition. It is easier for me to just access the pics on social media as we're spread all over in different states. It's just easier. As the family has gotten bigger I make sure I include birthdays and photos of each kid. Sometiems I miss some. It's been a tradition for a long time. It's had it's headaches as I try to add an even amount of all of them but even that doesn't work out, you can't please everyone. My mom and both SIL's and my sisters look forward to it every year. I've just one brother that's complained I don't use his kids enough and I always tell him you know I do this for several years.. without pics it's a litle hard. I do mine all digital and them my mom used to print them and then have them bound. I hope you can enjoy your new calendar. It can be a fun thing! My SIL has made a few snarky comments before. But whatever. Yes, i do know childs birthday is in October but I need that month for Halloween pictures. So her spread is September. My sister didnt complain when her childs birthday spread was March instead of April due to Easter. Or about the amount of pics used. Hard to get them when you delete me from your friends list and dont share pics with me or my parents. But the joy I bring my mom keeps me doing the calendar every year. I think I am on year 9 with the one she just got.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 26, 2017 21:53:32 GMT
I can see both sides to this. What sticks out the most to me is that Gma probably doesn't have any issues with the grandkids appearing in the calendar, so I can see why she would want the pictures. How she got them was legal, even if it seems wrong. I'd continue to amp up my privacy settings for what I could control and be good with the rest. Hopefully you'll find some peace or even a better relationship with them in 2018. Is it legal though? If the photos weren’t set to public and someone who wasn’t supposed to have access to them gained access (through someone else) and went ahead and had them professionally printed, I would think that could be a gray area especially since she specifically told her sister to only use photos of her own kids on the calendar. I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that I had to sign a digital signature on Costco where I get my photos printed that I agree to only upload and print those photos that I have the express permission to print so they don’t get nailed for copyright infringement.
|
|
azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755
Jun 25, 2014 22:49:18 GMT
|
Post by azredhead on Dec 26, 2017 22:11:06 GMT
calimom yea my mom it was a big deal for her too! She was sad when I didn't do it after our flood and our other dog got sick. I just had too much on my plate. Now that she's passed I'm not sure if I can keep it going. My sister and SIL want me too. crazy4scraps were they professional pics? then yes. Other wise if they are personal I don't think it matters. I've only been ?? once. And we used Costco alot to. I like them because they do a lot of the bigger sizes like th 12x12 for the calendar so I 've done it for all sizes now. But I know when I worked at my local LSS we'd have to tell people that if they had professional ones?
|
|
|
Post by pierkiss on Dec 26, 2017 22:29:55 GMT
I can see both sides to this. What sticks out the most to me is that Gma probably doesn't have any issues with the grandkids appearing in the calendar, so I can see why she would want the pictures. How she got them was legal, even if it seems wrong. I'd continue to amp up my privacy settings for what I could control and be good with the rest. Hopefully you'll find some peace or even a better relationship with them in 2018. Is it legal though? If the photos weren’t set to public and someone who wasn’t supposed to have access to them gained access (through someone else) and went ahead and had them professionally printed, I would think that could be a gray area especially since she specifically told her sister to only use photos of her own kids on the calendar. I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that I had to sign a digital signature on Costco where I get my photos printed that I agree to only upload and print those photos that I have the express permission to print so they don’t get nailed for copyright infringement. Would it really be worth it to sue family members and to try and sue whoever printed the calendar though? My guess is no.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Dec 26, 2017 23:13:17 GMT
I can see both sides of this . I do this for my family or i had till the last two years just because things have been really bad for us here in a few different ways. But I did it for some 15yrs. But my siblings and inlaws know I'm doing it. It's become a tradition. It is easier for me to just access the pics on social media as we're spread all over in different states. It's just easier. As the family has gotten bigger I make sure I include birthdays and photos of each kid. Sometiems I miss some. It's been a tradition for a long time. It's had it's headaches as I try to add an even amount of all of them but even that doesn't work out, you can't please everyone. My mom and both SIL's and my sisters look forward to it every year. I've just one brother that's complained I don't use his kids enough and I always tell him you know I do this for several years.. without pics it's a litle hard. I do mine all digital and them my mom used to print them and then have them bound. I hope you can enjoy your new calendar. It can be a fun thing! My SIL has made a few snarky comments before. But whatever. Yes, i do know childs birthday is in October but I need that month for Halloween pictures. So her spread is September. My sister didnt complain when her childs birthday spread was March instead of April due to Easter. Or about the amount of pics used. Hard to get them when you delete me from your friends list and dont share pics with me or my parents. But the joy I bring my mom keeps me doing the calendar every year. I think I am on year 9 with the one she just got. I would make sure that every (there was a typo and it said very instead of every) child got a month that wasn't their birthday or something. To be the only kid not celebrated in your birth month would suck. Signed the calendar maker who did that to her nephew a couple of times before I realized it
|
|
imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
|
Post by imsirius on Dec 26, 2017 23:31:59 GMT
I'd be super pissed that she took my pics of fb & I'd be either unfriending her or at least blocking her from seeing your pics Yep. Op said she did not want to do the calendar and said sister should just do her kids. Then sister took photos without permission and used them anyway. That is not right. I had a similar situation with my FIL once. I am not friends with him on fb because he cannot keep private things to himself and sees nothing wrong with announcing stuff or overstepping boundaries. He took photos of my son and his friends from my page without my permission ( they were tagged with DH in them) and used them in his cover photo. He did not have the right to put photos of my kids not to mention HIS FRIENDS without their knowledge or permission and I lost it. FIL also took photos of my dd from his phone before she was officially adopted and posted them.i had NO idea he even took the pictures, nevermind posted them. We were not allowed to have her info or photos on social media until her adoption was finalized. Someone saw them and alerted my DH and DH was livid. Needless to say, FIL was blocked from photos.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 29, 2024 0:13:42 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2017 23:37:13 GMT
My SIL has made a few snarky comments before. But whatever. Yes, i do know childs birthday is in October but I need that month for Halloween pictures. So her spread is September. My sister didnt complain when her childs birthday spread was March instead of April due to Easter. Or about the amount of pics used. Hard to get them when you delete me from your friends list and dont share pics with me or my parents. But the joy I bring my mom keeps me doing the calendar every year. I think I am on year 9 with the one she just got. I would make sure that very child got a month that wasn't their birthday or something. To be the only kid not celebrated in your birth month would suck. Signed the calendar maker who did that to her nephew a couple of times before I realized it Child didnt care lol buts sil made a mountain out of a mole hill and my mom shut it down lol
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 29, 2024 0:13:42 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2017 23:38:58 GMT
My SIL has made a few snarky comments before. But whatever. Yes, i do know childs birthday is in October but I need that month for Halloween pictures. So her spread is September. My sister didnt complain when her childs birthday spread was March instead of April due to Easter. Or about the amount of pics used. Hard to get them when you delete me from your friends list and dont share pics with me or my parents. But the joy I bring my mom keeps me doing the calendar every year. I think I am on year 9 with the one she just got. I would make sure that very child got a month that wasn't their birthday or something. To be the only kid not celebrated in your birth month would suck. Signed the calendar maker who did that to her nephew a couple of times before I realized it Also see bolded. She got September. And a pic in her costume like all other grandkids in Oct.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Dec 26, 2017 23:43:15 GMT
I would make sure that very child got a month that wasn't their birthday or something. To be the only kid not celebrated in your birth month would suck. Signed the calendar maker who did that to her nephew a couple of times before I realized it Also see bolded. She got September. And a pic in her costume like all other grandkids in Oct. I saw the bolded. It still bothered MY nephew when he looked for his birth month and he wasn't the focus like the rest of the kids (my nephew is 9). This year he went straight for his birth month and saw himself and was super excited. Since it doesn't bother your family member, then it obviously doesn't apply. ETA: I made a typo in one of the above posts. I meant that I would give every child a month that wasn't tied to their birthday so that the October birthday wasn't the only one that didn't have their birth month as their spread.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Dec 27, 2017 0:18:26 GMT
I can see both sides to this. What sticks out the most to me is that Gma probably doesn't have any issues with the grandkids appearing in the calendar, so I can see why she would want the pictures. How she got them was legal, even if it seems wrong. I'd continue to amp up my privacy settings for what I could control and be good with the rest. Hopefully you'll find some peace or even a better relationship with them in 2018. Is it legal though? If the photos weren’t set to public and someone who wasn’t supposed to have access to them gained access (through someone else) and went ahead and had them professionally printed, I would think that could be a gray area especially since she specifically told her sister to only use photos of her own kids on the calendar. I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that I had to sign a digital signature on Costco where I get my photos printed that I agree to only upload and print those photos that I have the express permission to print so they don’t get nailed for copyright infringement. Who knows. They weren't sold, so no profit was made. The sister just made the mom a calendar from the pictures the mom had access to.
|
|
luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,685
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
Jul 22, 2017 4:59:41 GMT
|
Post by luckyjune on Dec 27, 2017 2:21:46 GMT
1. Grandparents get the calendar with all grandkids represented. 2. You don't get bugged or have to hear about what a hassle it is to assemble the calendar. 3. Your sister gets to continue something that she thinks is important and needs to control.
Win-win-win. I'd let the Facebook thing go.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 27, 2017 4:29:20 GMT
Is it legal though? If the photos weren’t set to public and someone who wasn’t supposed to have access to them gained access (through someone else) and went ahead and had them professionally printed, I would think that could be a gray area especially since she specifically told her sister to only use photos of her own kids on the calendar. I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that I had to sign a digital signature on Costco where I get my photos printed that I agree to only upload and print those photos that I have the express permission to print so they don’t get nailed for copyright infringement. Would it really be worth it to sue family members and to try and sue whoever printed the calendar though? My guess is no. Probably not, but I was simply questioning the idea of whether or not it’s actually legal to take someone else’s photos and do whatever you want with them regardless of how they feel about it, that’s all. I fall squarely into the camp of ‘just because you can doesn’t mean you should’.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 27, 2017 4:39:47 GMT
Is it legal though? If the photos weren’t set to public and someone who wasn’t supposed to have access to them gained access (through someone else) and went ahead and had them professionally printed, I would think that could be a gray area especially since she specifically told her sister to only use photos of her own kids on the calendar. I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that I had to sign a digital signature on Costco where I get my photos printed that I agree to only upload and print those photos that I have the express permission to print so they don’t get nailed for copyright infringement. Who knows. They weren't sold, so no profit was made. The sister just made the mom a calendar from the pictures the mom had access to. Actually, the calendar company made money selling the calendar which is what makes it a gray area since the sister DIDN’T have permission to use those photos. That’s all I’m saying.
|
|
|
Post by #notLauren on Dec 27, 2017 4:46:35 GMT
How does a person "steal" photos that have been placed on social media?
I really don't get the upset here or why you'd block your mom and sister from pictures of your kids.
|
|
|
Post by #notLauren on Dec 27, 2017 4:49:41 GMT
Who knows. They weren't sold, so no profit was made. The sister just made the mom a calendar from the pictures the mom had access to. Actually, the calendar company made money selling the calendar which is what makes it a gray area since the sister DIDN’T have permission to use those photos. That’s all I’m saying. You're really reaching here.
|
|
pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,646
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
|
Post by pudgygroundhog on Dec 27, 2017 4:54:11 GMT
This is clearly not about a calendar. Maybe it's time to change your settings so your sister and mom can't see your pictures or posts on Facebook. On the topic of calendars - I'm an only child with an only child - sure simplifies making the calendar for my parents at Christmas time.
|
|