periwrinkle
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Jun 26, 2014 4:05:01 GMT
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Post by periwrinkle on Jun 29, 2014 23:43:03 GMT
Siblings, 2 years apart in age.
You're providing them with a pass that covers both the bus and light rail.
They can go to just about any part of Portland they want. They've lived a very sheltered suburban life.
I was discussing this with my neighbor this morning. We both agreed that our husband's would be more comfortable doing it at a younger age than we would. They (generally speaking) accuse us of being over protective.
My ex husband just gifted our kids with public passes so they have something to do while they are visiting him. He told them to take a trip to Ikea to learn how to use the system.
My kids are very intelligent, but they don't have any street smarts whatsoever. They certainly don't know which parts of Portland they might want to avoid.
I've got mixed feelings. My ex has done it, most likely to spite me, so there isn't much I can do about it at this point. I found out when I was trying to pass a message to my son. They were on the return portion of their Ikea trip, and my son's phone was dead. So I'm guessing "make sure you charge your phone before you go" wasn't covered.
I know they need to learn how to do this. It's good life experience. ..but I also think you go out with them the first go round and and cover things, such as what part of town to avoid, and what to do if the guy behind you on the MAX feels you up, or ejects himself into your hair. (Not that I'm sure I'd know what to do in the latter) still, they need to know it's a possibility.
What do you think is the right age?
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 29, 2014 23:50:46 GMT
Is it wrong to say 30??! ha...from the northern backwoods mommy.
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periwrinkle
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Jun 26, 2014 4:05:01 GMT
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Post by periwrinkle on Jun 29, 2014 23:57:50 GMT
Not wrong at all.  This reminds me of banning books in high school. You can shelter them, but at 18 they can read and watch whatever they want. They graduate, go off to college. .. it seems they should be able to navigate public transportation... When do you rip that bandage off and throw them out there though?. So far they've been to Powells and down to check out the PSU campus...which is exactly where every parent wants their teenage daughter hanging out, though there are much worse places she could go. |
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Post by annabella on Jun 30, 2014 0:00:04 GMT
"They were on the return portion of their Ikea trip, and my son's phone was dead. So I'm guessing "make sure you charge your phone before you go" wasn't covered."
Even if he charged his phone, if he is on it all the time he probably runs that battery out pretty fast! I would buy him a portable charger. I would also teach him to not to be on his phone when waiting for the bus, walking down the street and on the bus because he needs to be alert of his surroundings. In my city there's huge signs on the subway saying iphones are frequently stolen right out of people hands so you really shouldn't have them out to pass the time while waiting for a train.
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periwrinkle
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Posts: 38
Jun 26, 2014 4:05:01 GMT
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Post by periwrinkle on Jun 30, 2014 0:04:00 GMT
Oohhh good point. Thank you.
Better question. ... what do I need to teach them about safety and public transportation?
I don't generally take the max, and I never use the bus. That would never occur to me, other than to tell them not to use head phones as it makes them less aware of their surroundings.
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Post by ctpea on Jun 30, 2014 0:04:02 GMT
I was allowed to go into the city from the burbs when I was 12 but my girls - yeah that won't be happening anytime soon. They are 11 and 13. Not happening. I think it would be less worrisome if they were older - kind of agreeing with the 30 suggestion, lol. But no seriously!
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Post by smokeynspike on Jun 30, 2014 0:05:59 GMT
15 or 16
I went off to college never having cooked myself a meal, balanced a checkbook, or washed a load of laundry and I felt woefully unprepared for living on my own 4 hours from home at barely 18. I hope I prepare my daughter better. I learned fast because I had to, but what a learning curve!
So how old are they?
Melissa
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 30, 2014 0:06:59 GMT
I don't know Portland, so I could be off base, but 13ish? I r8de out city b6s all over t8wn. I think you teach them areas not to go, have a chargws phone eaxh and eaxh with a whistle
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periwrinkle
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Jun 26, 2014 4:05:01 GMT
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Post by periwrinkle on Jun 30, 2014 0:20:06 GMT
My daughter is 16. (Doesn't drive, she hasn't had the courage to take the car out of the parking lot)
My son is 14.
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 13:24:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 0:23:40 GMT
16? My so is 12 and I couldn't at his age
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Post by Amelia Bedelia on Jun 30, 2014 0:25:00 GMT
I don't know Portland, but I would let my newly 7th grade dd go to Berkeley for a nice cream or a movie with friends. The BART station is between our apartment and her school (about 3 blocks total distance) so I have no problem with them walking to the station alone. There is a $1 ice cream shop and 2 theaters within 2 blocks of the Berkeley Bart station. The train trip is about 12 minutes. I'd be cool with that. She would be expected to text upon arrival and before coming home.
We've been practicing a little over the last year. We started having her ride the train home by herself from her Japanese classes in Oakland (safe part of town). She was to text when school let out, walk to the train, text when she got there and we'd meet her at our station and walk home together. Of course this was after we had made the trip several times. She was 10 when we started this.
I felt like it was important for her to be able to navigate the train system invade we ever had a traffic issue and she was stranded somewhere. Traffic in the Bay Area is awful and a 20 minute trip can quickly become an hour trip. I didn't want her first solo trip to be an emergency.
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scrappinmama
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Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jun 30, 2014 0:27:19 GMT
It depends on the maturity of the kid, of course. But generally speaking, teens should be able to handle a trip to the city by 15 or 16.
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quiltz
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Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Jun 30, 2014 0:32:06 GMT
Years ago (1970's) my cousin and I would go to the CNE from Kitchener to the CNE on the Greyhound bus by ourselves. Leaving at 8:00 am and coming home after 11:00pm.
No way that my kids were allowed to do that. Times have changed! |
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Dalai Mama
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Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Jun 30, 2014 0:33:39 GMT
My kids live in the city.
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periwrinkle
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Jun 26, 2014 4:05:01 GMT
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Post by periwrinkle on Jun 30, 2014 0:33:45 GMT
I wouldn't have done it at 10 (outside of my comfort level). However, I think you're taking a smart approach, gradually letting out the reins.
I'm not familiar with Berkley at all.
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Post by rst on Jun 30, 2014 0:34:53 GMT
12 or 13. With my kids, we made a trip by bus together first so they were familiar with how it all works. They have phones, they can read a map, they have a plan of what they intend to do. They know how to check in. We're near Seattle, which I would say is equivalent to Portland. The two of them together are a far less likely target for anything unseemly than alone, but even on their own, I would be ok with my kids going around during daylight hours. I traveled to the Middle East and Africa all by myself when I was 16 with nothing but interesting stories and a lot of confidence as a result. Give your kids an opportunity to rise to the challenge.
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 13:24:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2014 0:35:47 GMT
For daytime trips, I think they are old enough. MAX and bus troubles usually happen at night. Have them download the TriMet app so they can always look up the schedule, maps, closest stops, etc..
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Post by tuva42 on Jun 30, 2014 0:37:49 GMT
My DD is 15 and this week is riding around Munich on the subway with her 16-year-old cousin. I feel very comfortable with her doing this. Two years ago, we let the girls stay in downtown Munich longer than we wanted to stay and allowed them to take the subway home by themselves. I guess at 13 and 14 I was okay with the occasional trip, but I'm more comfortable at 15 and 16 with them going wherever they want.
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periwrinkle
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Jun 26, 2014 4:05:01 GMT
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Post by periwrinkle on Jun 30, 2014 0:41:13 GMT
Dalai, what age would you send them out to the burbs?  |
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Post by maryland on Jun 30, 2014 0:42:05 GMT
I don't know your area, but I would guess 16 for my kids. That is the age they could drive, so as long as we showed them how to do everything and they were familiar with what to do, that would be fine with me in our area. My husband is much more lenient with our daughters than I am. But he and his sister were just 17 when they went off to college (him 3 hrs. from home and her 7 hrs. from home). And they had lots of experience finding their way around Europe as teens, so he knows our kids could do it too (they are smarter than we were at that age - haha!).
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cycworker
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Post by cycworker on Jun 30, 2014 0:45:25 GMT
It depends on the teen. I don't think I went off alone with a friend like that until maybe 16. But I also couldn't learn to drive until 18 due to medical related stuff.
My cousin, J, who will be 16 on the 11th, was allowed to go over to the PNE/Playland Vancouver with a friend at age 14, I believe. Maybe 13. I don't remember. I know I was nervous about it and luckily I have the kind of relationship with her Mom that I could voice that to her and she explained that she wasn't sending her cold, with no experience... the year before they took them but hung back & let the two girls (J & her BFF) do everything on their own so they could watch & coach them re: how to handle themselves. And she was required to text to check in at certain times of the day.
When my brother was 17, he wanted to take my dad's truck over to Vancouver to attend a wrestling thing & we had a huge blow out over it. My parents were in Europe & they'd left me in charge. Bro said they knew about this thing & he was allowed to go via the truck, but they never mentioned it to me. I tried to convince him to take the bus, or have his friend (a year older/more experienced) drive - even offered to pay bus fare - but he dug his heels in. Ultimately my aunt convinced me it was ok and we worked it out but it was tense.
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periwrinkle
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Jun 26, 2014 4:05:01 GMT
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Post by periwrinkle on Jun 30, 2014 0:47:06 GMT
Mostly BusyPea, except for that guy jacking off. I think that happened early in the day.
I'll talk to them about sticking together when they get home.
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Post by Amelia Bedelia on Jun 30, 2014 0:48:43 GMT
My daughter is 16. (Doesn't drive, she hasn't had the courage to take the car out of the parking lot) My son is 14. I would be way more comfortable letting them take public transit than driving At that age I would be surprised if they can't handle it. They might need a trip or two before they can do it perfectly without any links, but they should pick it up in no time. 5th & 6th grade seems to be the age here to turn kids loose on buses and trains to commute to schools. It's mainly scary because it's new, but they'll get the hang of it. Independence is character building. |
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melissa
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Post by melissa on Jun 30, 2014 0:54:25 GMT
I started going into NYC by myself from the NJ suburbs by the time I was 12 or 13.
Not really sure how old dd was when she started going in by herself. Definitely at 15 when she started performing in NYC. But if she was coming home at night, one of us met her and came home with her. This past year, at 17, she even came home at night by herself. She started taking other friends in at 16. Oh.. and I guess we lightened up dramatically when she actually lived in the Village for a few weeks for a ballet program at 14.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jun 30, 2014 1:39:04 GMT
Depends on destination, time of day, and companions.
Their whole lives, I explicitly trained my kids about public transportation. Things like where to stand on the el platform, which car to board, where to sit, where to put your purse/backpack, when to use your phone, how to hold your phone when at a stop, how to not flash cash, how to carry some cash in a separate pocket, what to do if you need help.
Most of all, I tried to encourage that ineffable "I am blasé, yet competent" vibe. Carry yourself with purpose. Be detached, yet alert. One time, I intentionally sat away from my then-early-teens daughter on the el late at night. It was interesting to watch how she drew weirdo attention, simply because she didn't yet know how to make herself look unapproachable. Now she's a pro.
If she'd only learn to keep the damn flap on her purse closed in coffee shops. (TWO stolen wallets. Both probably stolen by hipsters, not hardened criminals.)
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Rainbow
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Post by Rainbow on Jun 30, 2014 13:00:49 GMT
It would depend on the maturity of the kids. Not in years.
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Post by Kelpea on Jun 30, 2014 13:11:08 GMT
If they were raised in the city, earlier than if they were suburbanites who were infrequent visitors. My teen daughter would be fine; she's from NYC and can navigate well even though she might have some confusion with the subway. But with apps and helpful New Yorkers, she'd manage.
My 14 year-old son? No way.
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grinningcat
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Jun 30, 2014 13:15:15 GMT
Other than the over protective parents in our family (one set), the kids in our family begin this kind of thing around 10. Depending on maturity of course. To be honest, it floors me when I hear about kids in their teens who are completely dependent on their parents to get around and cannot/will not/not allowed to navigate something as simple and freeing as public transportation.
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Post by epeanymous on Jun 30, 2014 13:40:04 GMT
To me it is only partly a function of age -- it is also a function of life skills, street smarts, worldliness, etc. My kids live in a city and are familiar with taking the bus, following directions, etc. My 11-year-old (seventh grade in the fall), eg, has pretty free reign (with her phone in hand) to wander our area, and takes herself to the library, the grocery store, etc.
So I don't know about the age. I'd let her take that kind of trip with friends, no problem, but she has been raised to be street-savvy.
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CeeScraps
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Post by CeeScraps on Jun 30, 2014 13:41:11 GMT
I'm totally expecting this request from dd this summer. I feel she will be ok as long as she is with someone. She loves the city. We've spent weeks down there on and off the past few years. It was great because we parked and walked everywhere we went. So, she has experience and a slight familiarity with the area.
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