PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,754
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Jan 27, 2018 15:48:55 GMT
It's getting to be that time of year when people are planning high school graduation parties and I was wondering if most of peas had one when they were graduating and in turn do you have or plan on having them for your kids?
Me: I think my mom had a extended family/friends party for me but I recall I wasn't expecting it and felt kind of strange (to me) to be having a party for simply completing high school. I was not one to like the spotlight on me either but that's just me.
My DD is a couple years beyond that and she requested NOT to have one and thought it a waste of money. So I let her invite a few friends on a getaway weekend/few days and foot the bill. She loved that and it was much preferred by her. Financially it was probably about same cost and a lot less work, for me.
DS is due to graduate in June. He too, has opted out of party and in lieu will be getting a more substantial gift from me (computer/desktop/upgrades) that he prefers and again, a lot less hassle from me.
I am okay (selfishly effort-wise) with the kids' decisions especially since they do not like and are uncomfortable with all the extra attention on them.
So are high school graduation parties a given in your world?
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Jan 27, 2018 15:51:09 GMT
Big thing around here (SE Michigan), I imagine there are very few kids who don't have a party unless their parents simply can't afford it. I had one and expect ds will have one in a couple years.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 27, 2018 16:00:30 GMT
I think it depends on the kid. People here have them but it isn’t a given. My mom held one for me and invited the uncles and aunts. I got to invite some of my friends but it was definitely odd (for me). I’m another that doesn’t like to be the center of attention. If my kid didn’t want one I would respect that, just as I would definitely host one for her if she did.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jan 27, 2018 16:01:11 GMT
It’s the norm here. We had parties for both kids and took a family trip that summer. I knew it would be the last time they were completely mine and I was savoring that.
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Post by peano on Jan 27, 2018 16:02:38 GMT
They are big around here; nonexistent when I grew up. We are planning a big final family trip rather than a graduation party.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 3:44:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2018 16:02:49 GMT
Two had parties and one opted to go on a grad trip with his friends. I think a gift or a party is appropriate. Doesn't have to be a large party or an expensive gift, but something to celebrate the occasion.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jan 27, 2018 16:08:44 GMT
It's the norm to have a party around here. We had big parties for both our girls. Invited family, friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. It was a fun time with everyone getting together, and good food and talk. I'm of the mind that things don't have to always be comfortable for my kids. I want them to learn to be in Uncomfortable situations and talk to relatives they don't see a lot, the elderly, the young. They were both in speech and drama, so they know how to talk in groups, but one on one, they feel uncomfortable with. So I'm of the mind of, if you don't ever do it, it's going to stay uncomfortable, but if you have to do it once in awhile, it's less so.
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Post by auntkelly on Jan 27, 2018 16:35:49 GMT
No one had graduation parties in my area when I was growing up.
When my son and daughter were graduating, almost everyone had a party. My son didn't show much interest in having a party, and we were taking a big trip to celebrate, so we didn't have a party. He went to all of his friends' parties and enjoyed himself, but didn't seem to mind not having his own party. My daughter did want to have a party, so I was happy to help her w/ that.
I would just do whatever the kids want to do. In the long run, I don't think it will make much difference whether they have a graduation party.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jan 27, 2018 16:39:39 GMT
No
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,378 
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Post by cycworker on Jan 27, 2018 16:42:39 GMT
Don't really know what norm is here. I wanted a big party so we had one. Think my brother did,M too.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 27, 2018 16:48:20 GMT
Around here many kids have one, but they range from a small family gathering to a rented space in a nice hotel. In my opinion, it is the kid who should get to decide what they want (minus relatives coming for the graduation). I feel like the trend for kids is more focused on talking to friends using technology and I can see graduation parties slowing down in the years to come. Whatever. If my kids wanted to take a small trip instead of a party, it would have made my spring much more relaxing.
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Belle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,309
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Post by Belle on Jan 27, 2018 16:50:47 GMT
When I was in high school I don’t think any of my friends had grad parties. If they did, I wasn’t invited. My mom threw a party for me and the guests were my grandparents, 1 older couple that was friends with my mom and grandparents. It wasn’t really a “party” but I think it was very meaningful for my mom. Even though it was a small group she ordered a bakery cake and flowers and sent invitations.
The only other grad parties I have been to have been for our next door neighbor girls. I will be honest, I have found both gatherings extremely ackward. We aren’t super close with them, don’t socialize with them other than a quick chat a couple of times a year outside in the summer. The girls are older than my kids so no connection between the kids either. For both parties, my neighbor has done a brunch — we usually pop over for 30 minutes then make our excuses as to why we can’t stay longer and let them get back to visiting with their friends and family.
A grad trip is way more my style than a big party (or even a small party)!
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,900
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jan 27, 2018 16:53:16 GMT
It's a huge deal around here. Almost every kid has a big party. Friends seem to coordinate the times and people will spend their weekend party hopping. My son hates parties. We did a big 2 week vacation to London and Paris instead. I think it should be up to the kid if they want one or not.
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Post by maryland on Jan 27, 2018 16:54:01 GMT
No, we didn't do the fancy, expensive senior pictures or graduation parties for our daughters that have graduated in the past 2 yrs. They both wanted to go to big expensive universities, so we put money towards college instead.
Some kids seem to have them, some don't in our area. I think it's more common if the kids have a lot of family in the area.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 3:44:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2018 16:54:38 GMT
We did not have parties since we have a very small social circle here and most of our friends have little kids or no kids. Our boys wouldn't have wanted the parties anyway. We did celebrate at fabulous restaurants and have a great time. We also gifted them with upgraded laptops. I say parties are perfect if your kids want it and you're up for it though!
Congratulations to your DS on his upcoming graduation!
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Post by maryland on Jan 27, 2018 16:55:45 GMT
It's a huge deal around here. Almost every kid has a big party. Friends seem to coordinate the times and people will spend their weekend party hopping. My son hates parties. We did a big 2 week vacation to London and Paris instead. I think it should be up to the kid if they want one or not. That sounds like a lot more fun than a party! |
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Post by Tamhugh on Jan 27, 2018 18:18:27 GMT
My parents had a party for me in 1983 when I graduated. It was family and friends in our backyard.
When my kids graduated, we also had parties in our backyard. We spent most weekends in the summer of their graduation years party hopping.
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Post by huskermom98 on Jan 27, 2018 18:52:16 GMT
They seemed to be a big thing when my sibling and I were graduating high school. We haven't had a lot of people we know with older kids, but it seems most of the people at our church still have open house parties. The first of my nieces & nephews graduated last year and my sister had a big party--we all get this year off, but starting next year we'll have at least 1, up to 3 or 4 graduates for the next 15 years or so...that could be a lot of parties!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 3:44:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2018 18:59:30 GMT
When I graduated big community types of parties were not a thing. Just a family only type of party which would be big/small depending on the size of the family.
When my kids graduated parties were a huge thing. You basically invited everyone who had ever known your child. My kids weren't interested in having a big party that focused on them (they attended their friends parties and were partied out) so we didn't have a party for them. Go with what your kid wants.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 27, 2018 19:09:00 GMT
They happen here. Family would be perplexed if we didn't have one.
Plus the graduate gets more gifts if they have a party
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Post by maryland on Jan 27, 2018 19:30:59 GMT
My parents had a party for me in 1983 when I graduated. It was family and friends in our backyard. When my kids graduated, we also had parties in our backyard. We spent most weekends in the summer of their graduation years party hopping. That must have been expensive!  We just went to a few parties for very close friends, we couldn't afford to go to all of them. It would have been fun though, the food always looks so good! |
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Post by chlerbie on Jan 27, 2018 19:58:10 GMT
Where I grew up in Ohio, they were definitely the norm and they were called "Open House", and you'd pretty much invite everyone you know and they even had a page of the newspaper devoted to dates, etc. . I chose not to have one and had just a gathering with my immediate family. Here in MA, they are NOT the normal and my stepdaughter looked at me like I had two heads when I asked her if she was planning an Open House.
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Post by refugeepea on Jan 27, 2018 20:00:20 GMT
They are not a thing here and I am a very happy nay.  |
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Post by mom on Jan 27, 2018 20:28:44 GMT
They are huge deals in my area. People easily spend over $1K on them.
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Post by Linda on Jan 27, 2018 20:39:16 GMT
I have introverted kids with small friend circles - irc my oldest went to ONE graduation party. We did a small open house gathering - friends, family - for him...nothing big. We'll do the same for DD when she graduates in June.
Some people here go all out. Some people do group parties. Some do small family gatherings. it's all good
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Post by kristi on Jan 27, 2018 20:50:14 GMT
My daughters is graduating this year and does not want one.
Some people have them/some don’t.
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Post by Really Red on Jan 27, 2018 20:57:32 GMT
When my girls graduated, they didn't want one but I reminded them that the party was for me, not them. I got them through HS and into college without the help of their dad and I wanted a party. My brother and sisters were coming and my mom had just passed and I was very sad. We ended up putting the party on a different day than their graduation and we were all happy.
My son is graduating this year and I don't know that we'll have a party for him. It is the thing around here, but he goes to a small private school, so I'm not quite sure what we'll do. My brother and sisters will all come from out of town and stay with us, so I do like to have a party, but he is a lot quieter than two girls were, so not sure what we'll do.
One thing I am thankful for is that I had to get a LOT of HS grad gifts for my girls' many close friends. Not the same for my son. I guess that is good and sad, too.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 3:44:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2018 21:56:20 GMT
There are graduation open houses/parties all over my city in June and July. With 5 high schools in the city, there's a lot! What I've noticed is that the ones that have parties usually are more popular, bigger houses or yards, bonus if you have a pool, etc. All three of my kids' cousins had parties. So far my oldest, a junior, has said no party. We have split custody. Ex's gf seems to have an issue to a point where we haven't done a single joint celebration in 8 years. We were going to have one for ds2's 8th birthday and it was all planned. Then I started dating DH and asked him to come at the last minute. Ex found out and told his side that I cancelled it. No one in his family has shown up for anything I've hosted since. Despite being with the same woman for 8 years, I just don't see us being able to host a joint celebration. I think DS1 knows it and is saying no party to avoid having to choose.
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Post by littlemama on Jan 27, 2018 21:57:32 GMT
I did not have one.
We did have one for ds. Where we live, they are quite common, but not everyone has one.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jan 27, 2018 22:10:33 GMT
I did not have a party as it wasn't the norm where I lived at the time. When DD graduated high school, some kids had parties but definitely not the majority. She opted not to have a party (hates being the center of attention), but we took her and several friends to a local hotel/resort for an overnight and footed the bill for all of them. We were in one wing of the hotel and they were in another. Best way to travel with multiple teenagers!   |
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We just went to a few parties for very close friends, we couldn't afford to go to all of them. It would have been fun though, the food always looks so good!
