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Post by auntkelly on Jun 19, 2018 17:13:11 GMT
Etiquette rules are not to be snooty. They are like traffic signs, so that people know which direction to go and how fast. Without traffic signs, everyone is going every which way, running over each other, and running off the road. A little Emily Post makes life run more smoothly for everyone. My husband and I went to a fundraiser for 800 people last week. He was watching as the servers were clearing the dinner plates. When people placed their silverware in the proper position to indicate they were finished, the servers were able to quickly do their job and take away the plate. When guests appeared to be finished, but didn't put their silverware in the finished position, the server had to stop, wait for a pause in conversation and then say, "excuse me, are you done w/ your plate?" slowing down the whole process and making the server's job a lot harder. My husband worked his way through college waiting tables and he just couldn't understand why people wouldn't help the servers out by putting their silverware in the proper position to indicate they were finished. These days, people just really don't have an excuse for not knowing the basic rules of etiquette. Everything is so easily found on the internet.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,183
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jun 19, 2018 17:52:53 GMT
These days, people just really don't have an excuse for not knowing the basic rules of etiquette. Everything is so easily found on the internet. That assumes that people KNOW there's some etiquette to look up, or that they don't know what to do in a specific situation. If it's not been on your radar, I think people don't even realize that there are things like placement of silverware indicating you are done eating. If you aren't taught the basics at home - and I think some people are not - then you have to be observant enough to pick up on the idea that there are 'rules' you don't know about. I think some people aren't that observant or aware and some don't care about those rules.
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Montannie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,486
Location: Big Sky Country
Jun 25, 2014 20:32:35 GMT
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Post by Montannie on Jun 19, 2018 18:05:11 GMT
Etiquette rules are not to be snooty. They are like traffic signs, so that people know which direction to go and how fast. Without traffic signs, everyone is going every which way, running over each other, and running off the road. A little Emily Post makes life run more smoothly for everyone. My husband and I went to a fundraiser for 800 people last week. He was watching as the servers were clearing the dinner plates. When people placed their silverware in the proper position to indicate they were finished, the servers were able to quickly do their job and take away the plate. When guests appeared to be finished, but didn't put their silverware in the finished position, the server had to stop, wait for a pause in conversation and then say, "excuse me, are you done w/ your plate?" slowing down the whole process and making the server's job a lot harder. My husband worked his way through college waiting tables and he just couldn't understand why people wouldn't help the servers out by putting their silverware in the proper position to indicate they were finished. These days, people just really don't have an excuse for not knowing the basic rules of etiquette. Everything is so easily found on the internet. I am THAT aunt. I sent etiquette books to my nieces and nephew. I don't know if any of them even read it; it certainly did not increase the thank you note totals for gifts mailed to them. But I tried.
Now that they're older, they've become pleasant and appropriate adults, who regularly acknowledge gifts!
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Post by auntkelly on Jun 19, 2018 19:56:23 GMT
These days, people just really don't have an excuse for not knowing the basic rules of etiquette. Everything is so easily found on the internet. That assumes that people KNOW there's some etiquette to look up, or that they don't know what to do in a specific situation. If it's not been on your radar, I think people don't even realize that there are things like placement of silverware indicating you are done eating. If you aren't taught the basics at home - and I think some people are not - then you have to be observant enough to pick up on the idea that there are 'rules' you don't know about. I think some people aren't that observant or aware and some don't care about those rules. I agree w/ you that a lot of adults just don't care about the rules of etiquette. I think the vast majority of adults know, however, that there are etiquette rules about dining and weddings and other things, even if they didn't learn those rules at home. It's pretty easy to look up those rules on the internet. My point was that in general following basic rules of etiquette generally make life easier for everyone. For example, it's much easier and faster for a server to clear the table if people put their silverware in the finished position when they are done.
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Post by utmr on Jun 19, 2018 20:16:01 GMT
Or people who don't know how to tell which water glass and bread plate is theirs. It's not hard, but I have been to too many dinners where grown adults take their neighbor's water glass, resulting in either the entire table being forced to ascede to their idiocy, or the neighbor not having a drink. It's rude, it's uncalled for, and they generally don't have the manners to act embarrassed.
This isn't Royal protocol, it's simple day to day stuff that people refuse to do. They can look it up, they can ask questions, they can look around and follow the example of others, they just don't want to.
It's part of that "pride of ignorance" that is so common now. Our society has become a bunch of brain dead simpletons that can't be bothered to make any effort to better themselves.
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Post by lucyg on Jun 19, 2018 20:23:51 GMT
Or to think of the needs of others, not just themselves.
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