Do kids send thank you notes for their gifts?

My 12 yr old dd did handwritten thank you notes for her bat mitzvah gifts.

When my girls were younger they did hand written birthday party Thank yous. Like preschool to grade 3ish. This year we my 9 yr old texted each mom and addressed the note to mom/kid. She also had me take a photo of her holding the card / gift and included her smiley pic in the text.

Might be tacky but she was happy and felt like she acknowledged everyone. She watched older dd write Thank yous for the Bat Mitzvah gifts so she knows that etiquette too.

I would say most of her friends do nothing. The mom tends to send out an email or evite update thanking everyone for all of the gifts. I don’t like it done that way as much because it doesn’t feel personal but I get that it’s easier. I like when it comes from the child.

Yes they should. Everyone loves receiving mail that isn’t a bill or an advertisement.

I would say the norm is not to write them for kid parties. I used to make DS write them for every gift but have softened that to every that isn’t opened with the gift giver. So, if grandparents or others mail gifts, handwritten thank you notes. Or if friends can’t come to his party but give a gift, they get a note. But I no longer make him send thank yous to friends who are at his party and are thanked when the gift is opened. No one else does it in that situation and a few of my friends let me know (politely) that it makes them feel guilty when we do it. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m clear to DS that it’s always better to write them than not IMO.

I think we had Ds write them for his first couple friend parties. I would say  the norm is to write them for  bigger occasions, but  not bday/Christmas unless the giver was not present for the recipient to thank. It's all well and good to say that a thank you should be written for every gift, but it isn't reality.

Proper etiquette still says write a thank you card.

IME, it is not common practice to write thank you cards. A real life thank you at the time the gift is given seems to be most common, with a phone call to anyone who wasn't at the party when gifts were opened.

Yes, we send thank you notes. It encourages an attitude of gratitude, IMO, even for kid parties, etc. It’s just something we’ve always done. Does DD like doing it? Usually not, but she really loves receiving them from her friends when they send them to her after their parties and I remind her of that. We make the cards we send out too and she also really enjoys the process of making something to send to someone. Usually once I get started with doing it, she comes around wondering what I’m doing and she can be convinced to help.

In our experience, I can’t think of any friend party DD has attended in almost four years where she didn’t receive a hand written thank you note afterward for a gift she has given to one of her friends. Sometimes they’re a little slow in coming but they always show up. FWIW, I also think it gives kids good practice with composing and writing coherent thoughts that don’t involve abbreviated text-speak.

My kids were made to write thank you notes until they were 18. My dd22 is still good about it. Ds29 and ds25, not so much.

DD wrote them for all her parties. We would also include a photo of the child and DD with it (olden days when film cameras were all there was!) I feel it is good practice for later in life. And yes, at 30 she still writes thank you notes for both personal and business things.

I learned long ago that I am not responsible for someone else's guilt.  That's on them to do deal with.  I do not let their issues be the deciding factor in anything that I do.  At 61, I have officially become a grumpy old lady and wear the badge proudly!

I always had my kids write thank you notes to everyone that was at their birthday parties. We didn't send cards for family that a gift was opened in front of like Christmas though.
My kids are now 22 and 18 and will write thank you notes for special gifts like a trip that they went on with another friend's family or a gift of an experience but not to friends for gifts. They don't have parties anymore so I don't feel it's necessary. They will send a thank you text to out of town aunts that send birthday gifts (usually an egift card sent through FB or other means so no physical gift sent).

I think it's very important to acknowledge any gift that is given with a thank you and gratitude. It's rude not to say thank you in some way, shape or fashion.

As they got older, gifts within and among their friends, no party involved etc- that's up to them. When they were younger,yes. Especially for gifts received from someone you didn't or wouldn't see anytime soon. Often mailed gifts where in the form of $ (checks). Before the check was cashed and it was theirs, a card would be sent.

Now they are just turned 18 and 20. DS is still home/in high school, I might remind him, otherwise they are on their own in that department.

I always made my kids write thank you notes up through their high school graduations. Oldest DS thought it was ridiculous but went along with it. One of his college courses taught them that you should always send a thank you note in business for interviews, etc and suddenly mom wasn't so ridiculous anymore. He is 28 and still sends thank you cards to his grandmothers/aunts when they send him something. Younger DS always emails or calls to thank them when he receives something. When he student taught last year, he wrote nice thank you letters to his cooperating teacher, the teachers on that team who he did collaborative ed with, and the support subject teachers.

And @peano I love "real" mail. I think it is why I enjoy Christmas so much with all of the cards.

Dh always took a photo of our kid and the person who gave the gift (if we opened them at the party) and we would send the picture with a thank you note. If the gift was opened without the giver present, then we would mail a thank you note. Mine are 17 and 22 now, so it's been a long time since we've had a kiddie birthday party.

Although, Dh and I just went to a friend's 50th birthday weekend event (traveled out of state) and received a nice handwritten thank you note from our friend.