KITTEN FOR ANXIETY

Don't bring a cat into a home with someone who has allergies unless he's willing to medicate himself for them every day and even then, please don't. Shelters are full of of pets whose families "found out they were allergic".

Cats aren't necessarily a balm for anxiety, they're wild and sharp and bitey when they're young and while many are super affectionate, some are just going to be aloof and not interested in emotional support. Which is part of their charm, to me

Would your DD be open to a less traditional pet? My son just got a bearded dragon and he really loves this little critter. Plus you can heap affection on it and it won't struggle, scratch, or try to get away.

As someone who is allergic to cats, I have not found one that does not trigger some type of an allergic reaction with me .  I would not be able to stand living with cat. Please make sure that your DH will be able to tolerate it.  I wish you the best with your quest.

I have no anxiety issues.
I have owned 5 cats in my lifetime.
Only one of those I got as a kitten...that kitten was the most stressful cat I've owned. Kitten may look cute and fluffy but they are climb the curtains/in your face crazy.
You also can't dictate who a cat bonds to, it might be your daughter's cat...but it may decide that your husband is it's favourite person and it can be hard to redirect that. Cats often like the person who is least interested in engaging them.

If a dog is too much work, then a kitten will be as well, they are not "set and forget" pets. They need just as much feeding, they also require play as well as cleaning up after them with litter scooping/change etc.

I also agree with everyone else, do not bring a cat into a household where there are existing allergies, that's a disaster waiting to happen for both your husband and the cat.
What's going to happen if your daughter does bond with the cat and then over time your husband becomes a watery eyed, sneezing mess? That's going to be way more stressful to get rid of the cat vs never having had one at all.

Why not an small mature dog (not a puppy), but a small rescue who will be mainly inside and just needs to run in the backyard every few hours?
Dogs are much more likely to interact in the way you want and if you get one that doesn't need a lot of exercise then they won't be any more work than a cat would be.

pjaye is so right.

There is no guarantee who the animal is going to bond with. Most likely it will be your husband. Getting a kitten is like having a dangerous toddler. For 3 years!
I would not get an older dog for a teenager. They both turn cranky on a dime.

She is 16, unless you have younger children in the house, you are going to stuck with a pet you really didn't want when she goes off to college.

There's a huge difference between a mature dog and an old dog.
I said mature - as in not a puppy.
A 3yo dog is not old and cranky, but is out of that puppy stage where it needs constant attention.

Please try to read what is written and not what you assume.

My daughter was about 14 when she got her first pair of kittens.  She has bipolar and they truly helped her a great deal, so I think that this is a great idea.  It's a distraction.  It also teaches some responsibility, and gives her unconditional love.  Good luck!!

I agree kittens can be hard work but absolutely adorable.

The last kittens I had were such scratchers that my arms looked like I had been self harming. The door frames were all marked where they climbed them, they pulled down three sets of curtains and scratched the heck out of my leather suite which had lasted unmarked with other cats. They were still adorable but such hard work.

What will happen to Kitty when your daughter leaves home? They can live to about 20 in many cases.

IMHO an older rescue cat may be the way to go if your husband really is willing to not worry about his allergies. We have always had cats and dogs and they’ve not affected our sons while they lived at home but after one left, he had become allergic to the cats when returning on holiday. Antihistamine tablets worked for him and he now has two cats of his own.

A friend of mines daughter has her cat with her at college for stress reduction. I have since found that many students being pets with them to handle anxiety.
I am allergic to cats, however DS who has anxiety always wanted a cat. One day a cat shows up at our hose skinny as everything. I felt sorry for it so I gave him some dog food. That was it he hung around constantly. DS started sneaking him into the house. My allergies were not too bad so I did some reading. Turns out some cats secret a protein that causes the allergies more than others. The protein gets transferred to their fur when they like themselves. My cat is probably a low producer. He gets wpied down with baby wipes twice and I take my allergy pills daily (which I did anyway). We co exist well and DS is happy. Does this mean I am not allergic to cats? No. I walk into my BFF's house I start sneezing and my eyes swell shut.

I too was going to suggest a rabbit. Our friend has one. He’s very friendly and loves to cuddle. Hers is a beast though, I’d guess he’s twice as big as my toy poodle! If I was going to get one I would choose one of the dwarf varieties so it wouldn’t get so big.

:Pugs are TONS of work!  They get sick easily, need their nose wrinkles cleaned, tend to have hip issues, allergies, and anxiety!  My SIL has 2 and my outlaws had one.  All three have been nothing but vet bills.  Their other dogs haven't been so much.  They are cute tho!

A pet - any living creature - is going to be work and a financial investment.

The higher the “work” investment pets will also be the ones that give back the most psychologically. If the pet is to be a psychological support pet - different from simply a pet - it needs to be one that will meet psychological soothing needs like touch, positive emotional response/interaction, etc. That is not to say that pets like a lizard don’t give something to their owners, but isn’t an ideal psychological support pet. You probably want to aim for something she can cuddle with on a regular basis and can sleep with. There is a reason why dogs are the most common psychological support animal: evolution has led to a type animal who is meant to interact with humans in a deeply symbiotic relationship. They are, down to their DNA, pack animals, and bond strongly with the members of their pack. If you want your daughter to consistently feel loved/included/important, most dogs will do that better than most other animals, simply due to evolution, with cats being a close second.

I think that you and your husband need to realistically have a discussion as to what you two are willing to do to help your daughter with her psychological issues. You two, without the kids. It would be cruel to dangle the hope of getting a pet in front of your daughter at this point, get her hopes up, and then withdraw it.

Questions for you and your husband to ask yourselves include: what are you willing to do?

Related to a cat: Are you two willing to do all that is required to house a pet that he is allergic to? Is he willing to go to a doctor/allergist and take the medication necessary, including the possibility of weekly shots? Are you two willing to vacuum and dust daily? Are you willing to spend more on better air filters for your ac/furnace? Are you willing to buy a vacuum with a HEPA filter? Will you be willing to purchase and buy allergy covers for your husband’s pillow and your mattress? Who is going to regularly change the litter box if your daughter doesn’t do it like she is supposed to?

Related to a dog: If you get a puppy, who will potty train it? Who will groom it? If you get a shedding breed (there are many non-shedders now), who will vacuum more often? Who will make sure it gets regular physical activity, either through walking, or playing in the backyard? Who will be responsible for letting the dog in and out during the day so that it can use the bathroom?

The bottom line, IMO, is that a pet that will be an effective psychological support to your daughter will be a work commitment, whether it is a cat or a dog. Given that your dh is allergic to cats, it will not be less work to successfully have a kitten/cat in your house than to have a dog. Both animals will be a work commitment, and you and your dh may decide that your daughter’s psychological issues are worth the commitment, or you may decide that you two don’t want to/can’t make that commitment. I would suggest that you make these decisions without your daughter and then talk with her after you have decided as a team.

I guess I'm the odd one out. I think kittens are great anxiety relievers. I guess I lucked out, while they are rambunctious, they usually love to cuddle. I feel as long as your DH is on board with it, I'm not sure why it wouldn't work. My husband is allergic and we don't let the cats in our bedroom so there is not a lot of hair on the bed. We have a cat tree and a few beds around and that tends to keep them off the furniture. They sleep with our boys at night and get lots of love from them. We've had cats for years and it's been working out good. The cats don't really bother DH's allergies anymore and he's quite smitten with out large orange tabby.

If DH is allergic...not only will it be miserable for him. there is a chance your DD may develop an allergy. I would get a small toy dog. They really are not that much work once you get used to having them around.

I'd check to see if your DH is allergic to them, as well. I don't know if there is a correlation, except DD is allergic to rats and mice, along with cats.