Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2018 23:43:34 GMT
**UPDATE: We had our fundraiser and it was a smashing success. We raised almost twice as much as the previous year. The place was full, tons of bake sale items and lots of quality silent auction items. It was such a Relief after all the negativity.
I figured I would update if anyone was curious. 😊
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I’m administrative secretary at our church plus I volunteer some of my time like everyone else in the church. I think I must have an invisible tattoo on my forehead that says “come tell me everything that’s not being done right” or “free therapist”
I can’t get over how negative people have become in general. It doesn’t matter what we do, someone has to complain. We’re busy planning our annual dinner fundraiser with silent auction and bake sale. It also happens to be the same weekend that our town is hosting a big sporting event, we had no way of knowing about this when we scheduled our fundraiser. So far I’ve had nothing but people telling me what we’re doing wrong, that we picked the wrong weekend, that we shouldn’t do it on Saturday’s, and that we shouldn’t do it at all. I’ve had people tell me that they tithe so why should they support the fundraiser (even though they’re more than willing to grab takeout for dinner but gosh it’s a horrible thing if the church should get your takeout money)
We have our church people going for coffee with their friends and spending a ridiculous amount of time complaining about how it’s going to be a failure because we chose a summer date, that no one sticks around for the summer. So instead of encouraging people to attend, they’ve actually encouraged them not to come because who wants to come to something that everyone says will fail.
My MIL stopped at the church today because she thought the fundraiser was today. She was there to see what had been donated for the bake sale. She normally does quite a bit of baking for our bake sale but she’s been quite vocal about not baking because they’re busy this weekend. My SIL went on and on today about how this fundraiser has been overwhelming for her, even though she’s had absolutely nothing to do with it. She complained that she was going to help her mom bake but we... picked a terrible weekend. I finally snapped and said if your mom had really wanted to bake she could have baked the week before and put it all in the freezer like she does every Christmas and Easter. But no. Instead she takes every opportunity to tell me and the rest of our team how we picked... a bad weekend. My other SIL complained to our foods committee that we picked a bad weekend...and I was happy to learn that this dear woman snapped at my sil and told her that where she’s concerned we would never be able to pick a weekend that was a good weekend. (I could write a novel about this SIL’s antics)
I’m over it. Just reading the above is draining. And this complaining has been going on for a few years now with our church people. It’s always something.
Short of leaving the church and becoming a recluse, how does a person handle all the negativity?
ETA: thanks for letting me vent, I can’t do it anywhere else.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,836 
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Jul 6, 2018 23:49:12 GMT
You have my sympathy. I am quite honestly considering quitting my job for much the same reason. I have always LOVED my job. Recently one of the owners has become incredibly negative and critical. He's constantly irritated about something. And not just at me....everybody he comes across. Then we hired a new person to do inside sales and oh.em.gee. I told the second owner when he got back from vacation this week that I've come to the realization that she does nothing but complain and I was letting it affect me so please remind me to be positive. It is SO draining.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 6, 2018 23:51:36 GMT
This was my ex-husband. He sucked the life right out of me.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Jul 6, 2018 23:53:25 GMT
Sounds like some people want to take the lead on the fundraiser in the future. When they complain ask if they want to be in charge next year.
When I lead youth group we had a few people telling us what they thought our group should be doing. Once I started saying “That sounds great, let me know if you need anything while you are planning it.”
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Post by scrapqueen01 on Jul 6, 2018 23:56:20 GMT
I have a co-worker who complains a lot. Another co-worker who talks without taking a breath. Both of them at the same time during lunch makes me want to stick toothpicks in my ears.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:02:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2018 0:00:44 GMT
You have my sympathy. I am quite honestly considering quitting my job for much the same reason. I have always LOVED my job. Recently one of the owners has become incredibly negative and critical. He's constantly irritated about something. And not just at me....everybody he comes across. Then we hired a new person to do inside sales and oh.em.gee. I told the second owner when he got back from vacation this week that I've come to the realization that she does nothing but complain and I was letting it affect me so please remind me to be positive. It is SO draining. Sounds like my FIL. There is nothing that comes out of his mouth that isn’t grumbling. Nothing. Whatever event the church hosts he makes sure to tell those in charge how we should do things. At last years fundraiser he debated whether he wanted to donate some of his ice cream (he owns a little shop) because it would make him made if he donated it and it went for less than it was worth. He then proceeded to tell how how we should have done it. Then He goes to the kitchen to tell the kitchen committee what they’re doing wrong. He’s an usher and constantly telling the other ushers what they should be wearing, how they should greet people. And then he complains that this one teen sits in the back which is reserved for parents with kids, we finally had to tell him to mind his business because this teen has severe anxiety and needs her space. It goes on and on. I normally enjoy good visits with people but I’m to the point where I refuse to spend time with the inlaws unless I have to. I can be in the best mood enjoying my work with my team and all it takes is for a negative person like my FIL to come in and ruin that mood. I seriously debate sometimes whether we should go to a church without family. But I’d lose my job and I love my job. Plus we’re In a small town so we’d have to drive 45 minutes one way to our next church. |
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Post by auntkelly on Jul 7, 2018 0:05:20 GMT
I’m sorry that people are being so negative. Unfortunately, I think it is human nature.
I hope the event turns out to be a success!
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,185
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Post by rickmer on Jul 7, 2018 0:07:14 GMT
i just kinda take a step back and tell myself "wow, it must suck to be them...". i figure "i am rubber and you are glue, your negativity bounces off me and stick to you". okay, not the most mature approach! lol!
i assume people with that attitude will never change and become positive people. they do get some feeling of superiority from it, i suppose.
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Post by LilyRose on Jul 7, 2018 0:44:59 GMT
But it’s rare to see the complainers actually volunteer for these events. You’d think they’d be willing to share their “expertise” with everyone. (Don’t we have an eye roll smiley? I need one here)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2018 1:18:32 GMT
My DD (12) has a friend who is so negative when she's over. I mentioned it to DD the last time. Of course, she came to the girl's defense, but it was making ME nuts!
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 7, 2018 1:19:28 GMT
Wouldn't it be nice to have a clipboard with a sign-up for volunteering for the next year's fundraiser right on your desk. Then slip it under their nose when they complain. While you know they wouldn't sign up, you still could have made your point and they might think twice about complaining to you.
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Post by PolarGreen12 on Jul 7, 2018 1:21:22 GMT
I have a family member that is like that. She is so negative it just sucks the life force out of me to be around her for more than a couple hours.
I’ve worked with people like this as well. One was a cubicle mate at an old job. I had to asked to be moved. It was bad. I felt I needed to watch an hour of Disney every day when I got home to get in a better mood.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:02:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2018 21:13:16 GMT
Update in op. 😊
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 8, 2018 21:17:37 GMT
Awwww, love a good update. Did you get any takers for organizing next year's fund raiser?
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:02:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2018 21:30:06 GMT
Sounds like you proved your way was a good way!
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Post by idahopea on Jul 8, 2018 21:37:30 GMT
Yeah! So glad to hear all your hard work paid off, but since you all did such a great job everyone will expect you to do it again next year. 😁 Now is the time to tell everyone you cannot be in charge for the next one (unless you really want to).
I wish I had learned much earlier in my life that if I stepped down from something that there's always someone who will fill my place and do what I did (sometimes even better than I did), but no one will step up to do that until I give them the opportunity by stepping aside.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2018 22:07:48 GMT
I’ll be having a good chat with our chairman to discuss next year. One of our board members wife (my SIL) was pretty adamant that we should just ask people for donations instead of going to all this work. I’m a firm believer that people will give more if we offer them something for their money.
And it brings people together, we worked together, connected and had a blast. All she saw was the work. (That she had nothing to do with)
But I’m sick of hearing it so I’m going to pass the info to the right person and tell them I’d like clarity before we run our next Fundraiser. We’re at my inlaws for bbq tonight, if anything comes up I’ll be polite but share my point of view. The negativity from my inlaws has gotten extreme.
But say what you want, everyone else loved it and thought it went great. 😊
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 8, 2018 22:40:31 GMT
I’m glad it went so well !
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2018 22:54:07 GMT
Awesome! Our church is holding a "fun day" for the community and found out the weekend it was originally planned in September that two other big events are taking place in our community that particular weekend. So they looked into the following weekend, and again, something BIG is happening in our small city, so they changed it to the third choice of weekends. So far, nothing has come up, but you just wait!! It's not a fundraiser, but takes a lot of time in the planning, and making sure all their bases are covered. It's more a "come and see" type of thing for the community. We rent a big jump house for the kids, and water slide, and "invite the neighbors." It was a lot of fun last year, so I hope it is a blessing to our community. The best part? Two wonderful families "found" our church and have been a wonderful blessing to US!
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ddly
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Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 8, 2018 23:38:22 GMT
Excellent update! I’m sure those that attended will have positive things to say about it!
Lisa G.
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Post by jemali on Jul 9, 2018 0:16:09 GMT
I’m glad your fundraiser was such a success! Bet you want to say “I told you so” to your in- laws!
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ellen
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,128
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Post by ellen on Jul 9, 2018 0:44:06 GMT
Great update! I think it would be sad if we get to the point where all we do is ask for donations for things. We try to support the fundraiser dinners as much as possible because we know they are high profit projects, but it's good to get out and socialize with people in your community over a shared interest.
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Post by SabrinaM on Jul 9, 2018 1:43:36 GMT
This was my ex-husband. He sucked the life right out of me. Yes. I,too, understand completely.  |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2018 2:00:14 GMT
Great update! It's so nice to get positive results when you work so hard on something.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:02:37 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 4:33:03 GMT
I’m glad your fundraiser was such a success! Bet you want to say “I told you so” to your in- laws! I bit my tongue like you wouldn’t believe. 😄 But for all the complaining they did they didn’t say much about it. They asked how much it had raised and after I told them they didn’t have a whole lot to say. My SIL figured that had been a good amount for the little people that were there, she was quickly told that we had bigger attendance compared to other years. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 14:02:08 GMT
Some people just can't give up their pre-conceived ideas. Glad it all worked out well!!
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