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Post by grammadee on Jul 10, 2018 15:03:22 GMT
She doesn't happen to work for the agency the bags are labeled for?
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Jul 10, 2018 15:03:50 GMT
is she a local? around here we put stuff out and it's an open invitation for the neighbors or anyine driving by to take what they want and then we donate the rest. I'm not saying it's right if that's not the cultural norm where you are but she if she isn't originally from there she may not know how wrong it is to you. I would mention it to her and let her know you aren't ok with it. In my part of the UK, a charity will come round and give you an empty bag which is covered in their logos, with a note that says they'll be back on a certain day to pick it up. Then everyone in the street can put their bags out at the same time and they just drive round and pick it up. Lots of different charities do this and the bags are always clearly marked up, it's not like leaving something on the pavement for anyone to take. Sadly, I can believe people would stoop so low! But - was it clothes? What are you gonna do if you see her wearing them lainey?!?! |
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 10, 2018 15:04:05 GMT
Yeah, I'd be having a walk over to the neighbor to discuss her keeping the hell away from your property in the future. What a total asshole. yup Me too And this is not to say that I'd go over there in a rage and start cussing people out. But I definitely would say, "Hey, I noticed you took the charity bags off our porch. I really did mean for those to go to charity, but in the future if I have stuff that I'm not donating to charity, I'll offer it to you before giving it away. Please just don't take the things off our porch without talking to us." |
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sueg
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,140
Location: Munich
Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Jul 10, 2018 15:04:58 GMT
is she a local? around here we put stuff out and it's an open invitation for the neighbors or anyine driving by to take what they want and then we donate the rest. I'm not saying it's right if that's not the cultural norm where you are but she if she isn't originally from there she may not know how wrong it is to you. I would mention it to her and let her know you aren't ok with it. I might feel that way if the stuff was out on the kerb, but the OP said the bags were on her doorstep, which means the person came onto her property to take them. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2018 15:08:58 GMT
But - was it clothes? What are you gonna do if you see her wearing them lainey?!?! Yes, one of the bags was clothes. I think I'll stop her and be all 'I love what you're wearing, where did you get it'?  |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2018 15:09:31 GMT
No, definitely not.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2018 15:10:48 GMT
is she a local? around here we put stuff out and it's an open invitation for the neighbors or anyine driving by to take what they want and then we donate the rest. I'm not saying it's right if that's not the cultural norm where you are but she if she isn't originally from there she may not know how wrong it is to you. I would mention it to her and let her know you aren't ok with it. I might feel that way if the stuff was out on the kerb, but the OP said the bags were on her doorstep, which means the person came onto her property to take them. She is local, she's older than me and has always lived in this area.
I do think it's the fact she came and took them off the doorstep, it just feels wrong to me.
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Post by myboysnme on Jul 10, 2018 15:11:18 GMT
I said in the original post that the bags were clearly marked with the charities name. I'm just disgusted that anyone would walk onto someone else's property and take stuff that isn't theirs. Rereading everything I do agree with you. I just would let it go, but you are right. |
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 10, 2018 15:24:59 GMT
But - was it clothes? What are you gonna do if you see her wearing them lainey?!?! Yes, one of the bags was clothes. I think I'll stop her and be all 'I love what you're wearing, where did you get it'? Don't be passive aggressive if you want her to change her behavior. How will you respond if she says, "I took it from the bags you left out?" I think if you don't like people coming on to your property, you need to be clear about that and set your boundaries. You don't need to be unkind about it, but I think you need to be clear if it bothers you. |
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Post by gritzi on Jul 10, 2018 15:25:12 GMT
Charity bags set on the porch for pick up isn't an open invitation for neighbors to sort through and steal what they wish. Stealing is stealing, and I would be pissed at the brazen, entitled attitude.
We're happy to help a neighbor or friend who is in need, no matter if it's an ear to listen, food on the table or a light bill paid. Stealing from me crosses the line! She should have rang the doorbell and asked if it was permissible to look through the bags. Trust me, I understand feeling empathy towards a friend in need, while also feeling bitter about a friend who has stolen thousands from us!
ETA: I wouldn't be passive aggressive about her wearing the clothes. Who knows, she might be stealing from you and then consigning them at a store to make money. I would call her out about stealing off my porch!
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 10, 2018 15:30:54 GMT
is she a local? around here we put stuff out and it's an open invitation for the neighbors or anyine driving by to take what they want and then we donate the rest. I'm not saying it's right if that's not the cultural norm where you are but she if she isn't originally from there she may not know how wrong it is to you. I would mention it to her and let her know you aren't ok with it. We do that as well but it sits at the end of the driveway.. we put all kinds of stuff out there and it is usually gone by the next morning. Donations that are marked up near the house (in our case we have to leave by the front porch or garage) is marked with the donation name. That isn't an invitation for anyone else. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2018 15:33:15 GMT
Yes, one of the bags was clothes. I think I'll stop her and be all 'I love what you're wearing, where did you get it'? Don't be passive aggressive if you want her to change her behavior. How will you respond if she says, "I took it from the bags you left out?" I think if you don't like people coming on to your property, you need to be clear about that and set your boundaries. You don't need to be unkind about it, but I think you need to be clear if it bothers you. It was a joke, that's what the tongue out emoji is for!
I'd actually be really surprised if any of it fits her, she's much smaller in every way than I or my mother is.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2018 15:40:03 GMT
That happened to us too. The people across the street came over and picked all the bags up (several trips) and took them home. This neighbor doesn't even talk to us!  They put their garbage in my garbage can too so they don't have to pay for garbage pick up too. That is against the law, as our city has a law that every household is required to have garbage pick up. I actually don't mind that part. We never fill our cans. What I don't like is when they OVERFILL them, and stuff falls out, and we end up having to pick it up. One time they filled it so full that the garbage collector wouldn't stop and pick it up. We had to save it for the next week, and put some of it in the next few weeks. I think that was a bit overboard!! |
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Post by scrapmaven on Jul 10, 2018 15:56:56 GMT
She has a boatload of Chutzpah. What an icky thing to do.
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Post by mustlovecats on Jul 10, 2018 16:02:11 GMT
Is there any chance it was an error?
Around here people put stuff out and it’s fair game until the garbage truck comes and takes it away. Once in a while someone will put an item out that’s meant for charity but someone misunderstands and takes it for themselves. I did that once myself with an item that I thought was up for grabs and a neighbor was angry with me. It was for the charity truck but the tag had blown off and it was unmarked.
Just curious if there was any room for error.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 10, 2018 16:21:50 GMT
Is there any chance it was an error? Around here people put stuff out and it’s fair game until the garbage truck comes and takes it away. Once in a while someone will put an item out that’s meant for charity but someone misunderstands and takes it for themselves. I did that once myself with an item that I thought was up for grabs and a neighbor was angry with me. It was for the charity truck but the tag had blown off and it was unmarked. Just curious if there was any room for error. but do they leave it on their doorstep? Here you set up a date for charity pick up and you put it on your doorstep Curb is for trash and random stuff that people could take |
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Post by mustlovecats on Jul 10, 2018 16:24:00 GMT
Is there any chance it was an error? Around here people put stuff out and it’s fair game until the garbage truck comes and takes it away. Once in a while someone will put an item out that’s meant for charity but someone misunderstands and takes it for themselves. I did that once myself with an item that I thought was up for grabs and a neighbor was angry with me. It was for the charity truck but the tag had blown off and it was unmarked. Just curious if there was any room for error. but do they leave it on their doorstep? Here you set up a date for charity pick up and you put it on your doorstep Curb is for trash and random stuff that people could take We are in an urban location and our doorstep pretty much is the curb. |
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 10, 2018 16:24:55 GMT
While I'd be annoyed that someone came into my property and took things that did not belong to them I'd get over it quickly. When I'm purging and donating I don't care who takes the items as long as they aren't in my house anymore.
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Post by melanell on Jul 11, 2018 1:13:39 GMT
Is there any chance it was an error? Around here people put stuff out and it’s fair game until the garbage truck comes and takes it away. Once in a while someone will put an item out that’s meant for charity but someone misunderstands and takes it for themselves. I did that once myself with an item that I thought was up for grabs and a neighbor was angry with me. It was for the charity truck but the tag had blown off and it was unmarked. Just curious if there was any room for error. In this case she stated that it was clearly marked with the charity's name. |
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,381 
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jul 11, 2018 2:26:29 GMT
That happened to us too. The people across the street came over and picked all the bags up (several trips) and took them home. This neighbor doesn't even talk to us!  They put their garbage in my garbage can too so they don't have to pay for garbage pick up too. That is against the law, as our city has a law that every household is required to have garbage pick up. I actually don't mind that part. We never fill our cans. What I don't like is when they OVERFILL them, and stuff falls out, and we end up having to pick it up. One time they filled it so full that the garbage collector wouldn't stop and pick it up. We had to save it for the next week, and put some of it in the next few weeks. I think that was a bit overboard!! I would not be okay with this. I'm not sure why you are? They are breaking the law, and taking advantage of you, especially if they are overfilling the cans and then you have to store it until it can be disposed of over time. The longer you let stuff like this go on, the harder it is to say anything about it. |
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Post by Lexica on Jul 11, 2018 2:31:34 GMT
I had the opposite thing happen here - no one took it! We get mailers frequently about charity trucks being in the area on a specific day and to use the attached bag to put your items in so that the truck would know to pick them up.
I went through my clothing and gathered quite a few things that I know I just won't wear anymore. Some had never been worn, having been bought while my brain was apparently unplugged because I don't see myself wearing them anymore. I added my Breville pod coffee maker because I saw one at Costco that I preferred.
I put everything out in white trash bags and taped the charity bag to the front one so that they would know it was for them to pick up. I went out later during the day they were to have come and they were still there. They were still there the following day, but I thought perhaps the truck had issues so I left it out another day. Nothing. I ended up bringing them back into the house.
I know I can just drive them over to one of the local charity shops, I'm just irritated that I spent time finding and bagging up items for donation when I really should have been doing something else that evening.
In your situation, I would really talk to your neighbor about her friend's behavior. Shame on her! That is theft.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,950
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Post by Rhondito on Jul 11, 2018 3:17:13 GMT
My daughter's school had a coat drive for charity some years back. I found out several of the moms were actually using the drive to "trade up" coats for their kids. "I got both of my sons brand new Northface coats- They still had the tags!!"  I have a coworker who does this. Last year my office collected items for colleagues in Louisiana who had lost everything in the floods after Hurricane Harvey. Items like furniture, appliances, etc. Someone brought an almost new really nice refrigerator, he took it and brought his old crappy one to send to LA instead. I was so mad.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:07:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2018 4:19:00 GMT
I’ve had a similar experience. Our school was having a garage sale fundraiser and I dropped off a box full of nice stuff. My friend was there as I dropped it off and she went through it and grabbed a few things. In her mind I was giving it away anyway but she failed to understand that she was stealing profits from the school because now they had less to sell. I was so flabbergasted I didn’t say anything.
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twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,248
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Jul 11, 2018 9:10:39 GMT
Don't be passive aggressive if you want her to change her behavior. How will you respond if she says, "I took it from the bags you left out?" I think if you don't like people coming on to your property, you need to be clear about that and set your boundaries. You don't need to be unkind about it, but I think you need to be clear if it bothers you. It was a joke, that's what the tongue out emoji is for!
I'd actually be really surprised if any of it fits her, she's much smaller in every way than I or my mother is.
I would probably say something to her so it doesn’t happen again. “I heard you on my porch the other day when you took the bag of items I left out for XYZ Charity. I was unable to come to the door and let you know that those items were not up for grabs. I understand you probably thought I wouldn’t mind because I was getting rid of the items anyway, but I had made arrangements for XYZ to come pick them up so they could benefit from them. I was able to call them and save them a wasted trip, but if I hadn’t been home, it would have cost them money and time to come here looking for items that were no longer here.” |
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,157
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Post by scrappington on Jul 11, 2018 9:16:49 GMT
I used to live across from a Sally Ann and people would pull up at night or after hours and steal stuff left. The cars would be Mercedes and BMW's. It was horrible.
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Post by elaine on Jul 11, 2018 11:33:56 GMT
I think that some people don’t understand (or don’t want to understand) the difference between someone not wanting something(s) and looking to just get rid of it, and someone who wants to make a donation to a charity.
If we don’t care who gets our used whatever, we put it at the curb with a sign taped to it that says “Free to take.’
When it comes to donating to AmVets - our charity of choice who does pick-ups - we put it in bags that we label and leave on our porch for them to pick up. Sometimes I include nicer things that I could put up for consignment or sell on eBay, but I want AmVets to get the $ they can from the item.
And when it comes to coat drives, I sometimes pick up coats on clearance at OldNavy in the spring/summer and hold onto them with tags attached to give to coat drives, because I think of how nice it would be for someone who needs a coat that desperately to get something brand new. I don’t give them so that someone whose kids have coats and could afford to purchase new ones can trade their used coats in for new ones.
For those who say that it shouldn’t matter if others rustle through and take what they want, would you feel the same if the OP left a check in an envelope taped to her door and the neighbor’s girlfriend took the check and fraudulently cashed it because the “OP didn’t want that money anyway?” If not, why is it okay to take “stuff” intended for a charity, but not $$$?
“Donating to charity” does not equal “doesn’t want it and doesn’t care who takes it.” For me, at least. It sounds like not for some people and some communities.
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They put their garbage in my garbage can too so they don't have to pay for garbage pick up too. That is against the law, as our city has a law that every household is required to have garbage pick up. I actually don't mind that part. We never fill our cans. What I don't like is when they OVERFILL them, and stuff falls out, and we end up having to pick it up. One time they filled it so full that the garbage collector wouldn't stop and pick it up. We had to save it for the next week, and put some of it in the next few weeks. I think that was a bit overboard!! 
