Does anyone answer/return phone calls?

I had a similar experience with a friend. I stopped calling. I had a full time job and two small kids, which she didn’t so I figured the busy excuse didn’t cut it. Now with your DD it’s a different situation but very frustrating, I understand.

I often can't find my phone before the voice mail kicks in.
I don't like to talk on the phone for extended periods of time.
I prefer text. I'll probably reply right away if you text me if I can find my phone or I haven't accidently left the sound off.
Cell phones are great but they are very easy to ignore. Not like the days when we had no answering machine or caller ID.

My 3 dd and I seldom talk on the phone. We group or individualy text through messenger several times a day. Sometimes someone replies, sometimes not. We dont care.

I'm an introvert. I think they might be,too.

That would bug the heck out of me.

I would stop calling BFF.

I would have a talk with DD and I'd tell her she is hurting my feelings and come up with a compromise.

I don’t talk on the phone. I just don’t. I hate it more than cleaning the toilet.

I will text. I will FB message. I will email. I will snail mail. I will talk to you in person.

I won’t talk on the phone.

I keep my phone on Do Not Disturb about 99% of the time and I don’t even have voicemail set up, so no one can leave a message.


Have you tried texting instead of calling? Will they answer you that way?

societal expectations about the phone sure have changed

it's shifted to - the phone is there for my convenience- fuck whoever is on the other end

no one is that busy

you just aren't a priority

tell your BFF that it feels like shit that she doesn't prioritize you

if her behavior doesn't change- well there's your answer

i'm at the point where i'm not begging anyone to talk to me on the phone

if i get a call that i can't answer - i try to send a quick text immediately saying so -

that's just me

making sure my friends/family don't feel neglected is important to me

gina

I’m thinking your daughter is a newlywed. And if she travels a lot for work, she is wanting to spend all of her time with her new hubby. 😉. I think that’s totally normal. She should send a quick text or short call, but honestly I’d cut her some slack.

Your best friend doesn’t sound like a best friend to me. My best friend and I rarely get to chat on the phone. I have 4 young kids, she has two young boys who keep her on her toes. We live 1200 miles apart, so we rarely see each other. There’s no time for long phone calls anymore. But we text all the time. She’ll send me a note, and I’ll reply almost instantly, and vice versa. It works for us. But if your best friend can’t even do that, I’d want to sit and have a heart to heart with her.

i use speaker phone all the time

i talk to my daughter while i sew or crochet all the time

i don't understand - 'i hate to talk on the phone'

maybe you just don't like who you talk to?

i dunno - i like to hear the voices of my kids/friends/family

different strokes i get

introvert v. extrovert maybe

i might call annabella and discuss this over an actual phone call

gina

I try to...I can't have my cell with me at work, so anything left for me during the day I return at night if possible, but most people know this.  

Now my DS who lives in Germany will go months without returning anything to us.. Not even a 'go to hell' response.. lol... I finally told him the other day "your dad is worried sick can you just tell him you are alive"... it doesn't have to be a 20 minute call.. just be courteous..He responded with "I'm fine."
I noticed when I visited him last month he was pretty dang rude to everyone.. I was NOT happy. 

Anyways.... that's my story.

I do love talking to my BFF.. usually our commute on the way home is at the same time, so that is basically when we talk.  I talk to my mom almost every day, or every other day, on the commute as well.  It's the best time.  I'm not interrupted. I don't have a million things to do except drive.  Makes my drive enjoyable.  That 35 minutes is all mine... 

This is me.  I can happily ignore my phone for three days.  I am getting better, but I just don't even thing about it.

OP -- for your friend, I would simply stop calling her. See if she ever calls YOU. The result will tell you what kind of relationship you two really have. In my experience, people make time for what is important to them. If keeping a relationship alive is important to her, she will find a way to call you.

In other news...
I am so tired of the "I hate talking on the phone" excuse. What it really means most of the time is, "I hate making time to keep relationships alive except on my own terms."

Personally, I hate texting or messaging because there is no tone, inflection, emphasis. Way too many times has drama ensued because of those forms of communication. As an example, someone once got very angry with me because I didn't use ENOUGH exclamation points to convey excitement about good news she had. Because apparently there is a certain protocol to the number of exclamation points that indicates what type of feeling you have. I told her, "I don't see why I have to find a way to communicate via text such that you will clearly understand my emotions when a 90 second phone call would have done it far more easily. If you had called me, you could have told how excited I was for you. Since you won't call, it's on you to interpret my tone from my texting. You chose to interpret it negatively. That's on you. ."

I would never turn my phone on silent for 3 days. I have a fear that my husband or kids could be in an accident and no one can reach me if I am at home where we do not have a landline. No cell phone on, no way to contact me. My dh is guilty of doing that and I was in an accident at work and no one could reach him. I had to go to the hospital alone and take a taxi home. To say I was not happy is an understatement.

this - is exactly how i feel about it

you 'no phone' people might not agree

but i guarantee there is someone in your life that does

gina

I would NOT “have a talk” with your friend about her phone habits. She’s an adult and she’s made her choice. I would try switching to texting her instead of calling, and if that doesn’t help, I would move on to “sometimes friendships change” in your own head, and let it go. She’s not your BFF anymore.

About your DD, she needs to stay in better touch with her mom, but she’s an adult, too, and I guess you can’t force it. Honestly, I don’t actually talk to my DD all that often, either. We text a lot. I think we’re both phone-averse.

Also, search your soul. Be sure you aren’t driving people away with too-frequent or too-long or too-one-sided phone calls.

In general, I agree with you. People need to return calls, if not with a call, then at least with a text.

Question about the girlfriend: do you stay on the phone for a long long time, gabbing with her? I had to quit answering one of my friend's calls for that reason. She talked WAY too much. It was too much for me.

You don't understand it because you must not have the anxiety/phobia that some people do. I dread phone calls. I don't hear well, I can't read body language. It's just all around uncomfortable for me. So I avoid it. Texting is a godsend.

Those of you who don't get this, probably don't have these issues. Please try to see our side.