Beating up on yourself

hey - we're all human

most of us have done something financially stupid

some will admit to it

i've really jacked shit up before - and it ended up working itself out - even if it took awhile and caused arguements/fights

stop worrying and figure out a workable plan

gina

Whatever the cost of the mistake is file it under training. We all have to learn and mistakes are one way of learning. You will only truly fail if you keep making the same mistake time and time again and expecting a different outcome.

Going forward, consider being proactive, take a personal finance class, talk to experts and maybe review your finances more regularly.

In the meantime, make a cuppa and breathe. No one has been hurt.

At times like that, I always try to think about that saying, "It's a bad day; not a bad life." Meaning that it IS a big deal at the moment, but in the full span of time, it doesn't matter so much.

Take a minute to rant to yourself about it and then, stop. Use that energy instead to solve the problem. And then use the time follwoing the event to reflect on ways that you can safeguard yourself from it happening again.

And to make you smile -- bonus points for using the word, "flagellating."

Doing that this month myself. DD's therapist calls it forecasting. This happened (which is minor) which must mean I'm a horrible adult who can't manage her money and we're going to wind up in the gutter. Sigh. Take a breath, it's not serious, pick yourself up and do better the next time. in my case, refocus on the goal ( a big trip) and reorient toward the goal. Beating yourself up doesn't get you there any faster just more tired once you do reach it.

Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence. ~Colin Powell~

This is just a stepping stone, you can recover from this and you will!  Beating yourself up wastes energy.  Do something nice for yourself instead-read a book, take a nap, journal, etc.

Great wisdom so far! Try to remember tough times in the past you have made through just as you will this. I can't remember who said it but a quote that has stuck with me when I financially screwed up was write it off as "tuition to the school of life".

Oh dear, flagellation seems a bit extreme. So here's the thing... it was a mistake. You didn't do it on purpose. You've done it correctly for a long time and made a miscalculation. So you ask yourself will this bother me in a month? a year? Figure out way to fix it as quickly as possible and MOVE on. Save your despair for when you really need it.

I’m 53 years old and I’m a lazy procrastinator. At this point in my life I’ve decided to accept this about myself. Yes, it has consequences at times. But there are proactive ambitious people that also run into problems due to their personalities. I try to keep myself from breaking the law, getting fired, running off my DH. Could I do better? I believe everyone can say that. But I’m good with how I am.

It's an awful feeling, been there too many times to count. After each time, I promise I'll be better. The only thing that stops me from beating myself up is to run the numbers. Again and again until I have a solid plan of action. Good luck!

It's terrible, isn't it?  I sit back and think, I am the least likely person to beat up someone else.  But man, can I beat up myself.  Hugs.  

DH and I have been there, done that multiple times and took our lumps in the form of what we call “idiot fees” (i.e. used to be late fees, now that DH has set auto payments for everything it’s interest if we don’t make the full payment in time) ugh. It happens. All you can do is to try to come up with better systems for the future so things don’t get missed.

We all have those types of incidents.  It sucks, I always remember them, and I do beat myself up to a certain extent...but I tell myself that it is done and my only option is to move on.  Sorry I have no great advice for you but wanted to let you know you are not alone.  

One of my last idiotic moves (that still stings) is that I forfeited 1000.00 in my HSA because of stupidity and procrastination.  I think of all that I could have done with that thousand bucks and  .

This year I beat the deadline by 1 day.  Obviously I still need to work on that procrastination issue but at least I wasn’t out any money. Hahaha.

Sorry you are dealing with this and I hope everything turns out okay.

Ugh. Yeah. BTDT. This week. Mine is nowhere near as hurtful as yours, but I was really disappointed in my reaction to what (didn’t actually happen) happened.

Dd’s Graduation party is this weekend. I was late getting invitations mailed, but I texted family about the date. My mother called. “I’m so sorry, we have two grad parties that day. Maybe we can stop at your house on the way to the other one.”

#1 - I didn’t even want to invite my mother. I invited her out of obligation. I should be thrilled she can’t make it. Instead, I got mad. Because

#2 - every opportunity she chooses to put her own kids last. The other party is for her cousin’s grandson. And

#3 - the other party is a few hours away. She wants to stop by my house before my party while I’m trying to get ready n have no time to entertain?

I called SIL fuming. And I'm mostly fuming at myself. Why do I have such a strong reaction?

As we’re talking I check my texts. It dawns on me...

#4 - we talked plenty of times about the graduation date but I never did talk to her about the party date. Of course she already RSVP’d to the other party. And

#5 - she was probably talking about party hopping, which we’ve been doing plenty of if there are multiple parties on the same day. She wasn’t trying to come pre-party.

Yeah. I called her and #4 and #5 were correct. Oops. I had to apologize. But for me, the bigger issue is not that she would do 2 or 3, but why let it affect me so much? I think I’m disappointed in my expectations.

You beat yourself up for spending. I beat myself up for being too emotionally invested. I meant to talk to my coach about it during our session this morning but I forgot.

First thing is to show yourself grace. Next, can you return, exchange or back out of whatever and get your money back?

Lastly, how do you want to deal with it next time? Not the money, but the thing that made you respond by spending? Would it be as “simple” as blocking their number from your phone? If they’re toxic, you don’t need to keep them in your life. Would it be hearing them out but processing it with a friend, to diffuse the “thought bombs” they lit?

Big big hugs

It seems like you are very self aware, that is a huge step towards future progress! Don’t let a slip up “detour” derail all your hard efforts! It’s ok to note the lesson learned and then move on.