All things Becky15 Higgins/beggy Higgins

julie5 My heart is truly breaking for you. Reading your story was like reading mine. I want you to know that you are not alone. I know it really feels that way. I am not just saying polite words. I really know the debilitating and darkness that it really feels that way.

Mother's Day- You are a fucking whore that deserved to be raped! Yes, on Mother's Day. I can't even with Mother's Day. I never was a whore. I was a straight A student, virgin. What is the rule of sexual assault survivors we are all whores and guilty until proven innocent? I tried to forgive that family member but I just can't. I finally let it go. I don't have to forgive. I have learned you don't have to forgive cruelty.

Over thirty years of debilitating anxiety and pushed, pushed, pushed by a crafting star Mother. When I almost died from my rape she told me to be a good girl and not tell anyone because she didn't want anybody to know she was not the perfect Becky Higgins Mom because it would ruin her reputation. I had court cases and news coverage at the time. Sorry Mom I ruined your life. Whatever!

My rapist did get convicted and then he got out of prison. He then got convicted again for another rape, then went to prison, got out raped two little boys, went to prison, got out then just went to prison for life because he got caught with a lot of child ponography and was stalking all his past victims, including me. I was going through this last year. The judge was like "How the hell was he being let out so much!" That conviction just recently happened. I can't even tell you the emotions I am going through now that I don't have to hide anymore or protect myself. I honestly don't know how to live. I am so excited I can have an Instagram account but I am scared to go public with it. We are talking Instagram here where I want to post pics of my dog. You can imagine how I am handling the bigger things. I can tell you it's not good.

Every day I wake up and try to be so strong, and not be victimized. You know the rule if you are raped or sexually assaulted you are playing the victim. No we are not playing a victim. We are victims. If you get robbed you are a victim of a crime. Rape and sexual assaults are crimes! Yes we are victims we do not play victims.

Sweetie, I really do get it. It is hard to trust. My girlfriends left me because I was raped. I have a few tell me they were scared that they could get raped that it could be catching. Flu is contagious, not rape.

julie5 & my 2Peas Sisters I am not sharing all this for attention or to be felt sorry for. I don't want that all. Trust me I really, really don't want that. Less attention the better. Julie I don't want you to feel alone. You are not. Your family should be ashamed of themselves. I wish you could get away. I know you think it every day. You already been abused in the worst possible way you don't need any more. Go outside with all their scrapbooks and make a bonfire and burn them. Say Bye, Bye Bitches. You know I did get rid of scrapbooks of my family. I had a family member ask me if I had any pictures recently. I was like the audacity. I told them no I threw them away. I really did. They were so shocked. Why would I keep something so toxic in my home from somebody who decided to be abusive?

I am blessed I have a wonderful DH. It's about the only family I have that is wonderful. DH has been severely abused too. I do have friends that have been abused and we have our own little quiet network of coping. I have watched a lot of my "network" commit suicide over the years because the pain and anxiety has been too great.

Trust me, Becky promoting anxiety to make herself richer and her house bigger really angers me. There are so many of us who need help, want help and too afraid to get help because of the Becky's of the world. You know therapy is only for "CULTivating" women to promote a business. They can have sleepovers and photo ops. They can invite spa resort owners to their home and give out coupon codes to cure your anxiety in one day Spa.

I am so ragey about Becky's anxiety resort I can't see straight. Nobody, I mean nobody, with anxiety and panic disorders wants to go to a resort, Walmart, crop, doctor's office, out to the car, out the door to check mail, etc... That horrid Jim Jones woman is effing dangerous with her social media and I swear if she thought suicide would get her some Instagram likes she would be "CULTivating" it. I do mean that seriously. I say that to her face. I use to be so understanding of her until she showed her cards on her oversharing IG. She has no morals.

I wrote the rage book, lol. I really don't want anyone to be influenced by Becky's dangerous ideas. Panic disorder and anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of and it is definitely not something to make a profit. That is exactly what Becky is doing.

Nope same as any other 12x12 album.

All I can say is 'people suck'. Individuals come in a wide range of good to bad, but people, in general, are simply awful. In the end you have to do what's best for you, because nobody else is going to be your advocate 24/7. A lot of things make me anxious, but I don't have clinical anxiety; that's a debilitating level of constant intrusiveness no 'one day spa' is going to resolve. The mere thought is preposterous.


Better to endure all the stares in the world than to have your kid dart out into traffic and be hurt, or worse. Honestly I wish MORE people leashed their mini-humans, because a lot of them don't have the proper skills to be loose in public yet and probably don't have nearly as good a reason why they haven't picked up proper social behaviour. I may not care for children much - they hurt my ears - but I certainly don't want to harm them, even accidentally, and it makes me nervous when they're darting around loose and using the store as a playground, screeching at random.

hop2 in the app it's just a toggle switch to switch any kit from rounded corners to squared ones.  But I think joblackford is right about the digital cards from the shop, I haven't bought them before but I imagine you have to do it manually in photoshop.

Thank you both for the information

Nobody deserves to be assaulted against their wishes, period.
Doesn't matter how old, your history, where you're from, nor whatever flavour of human you are.

@amayalylac I meant it as a general reminder, no worries. Sometimes, we just need to hear a message clearly spelled out. Emotional ties from toxic beliefs that were forced upon us during our formative years can blur things even long after. That's all I meant. 

Your family story is a frightening reminder that organised religion can pose great danger as it becomes just another hierarchical structure in which the powerful are protected at all costs. I've heard tale of horrors of Mormon Elders (shan't even bring up the Catholic Church) remaining in power despite terrible claims of sexual abuse. I'm sorry you lost your brothers to this and became a first-hand victim yourself. 

I also agree that the anxiety defense and woe-is-me tale is the new trend on social media, scrapbooking included. It's a little jarring to watch as Generation Z grew up with the web and used it to be more open about their struggles with anxiety, depression and suicide in more niche communities like Tumblr at first, then taking it more widestream with Instagram only to see their parents' generation recuperate the umbrella term to drum up sympathy likes and a pot pourri of easy excuses for any questionable online behaviour on their behalf. It's unfair to those who genuinely suffer from this condition and it must sting extra for Gen Z to see the struggles they brought up in the open to help people - especially their parents - understand their malaise be watered down and emptied of its true meaning and extent. 

I think it’s a leap to claim Gen Z is groundbreaking for speaking out about anxiety and depression online but claim Gen X is just using it for attention. Before social media, Gen X and Boomers were online talking about these things in listservs and message boards and blogs. No generation has the moral high ground on using social media for their own aggrandizement or conversely the betterment of society

i don’t claim to know every member of GenZ on social media, but I seriously doubt they are all online for the betterment of society, while all GenX are all trying to make money off the mental health issue du jour. sweeping generalizations are just that.

I don't claim to know them all either.  Just what %s I see from each respective generation.

Just from poking around in the general scrapbooking part of the forum. I'm a relatively new pea, I joined a few years ago but admittedly forgot about it until somewhat recently! Now you're all stuck with me