|
|
Post by jamh on Sept 30, 2014 13:53:35 GMT
I understand that many people are just not into crafting of any kind. I think they look at it as a frivolous pastime, and really have no idea of the time and love that goes nto something handmade. But I also think that common courtesy and good manners are fast becoming a thing of the past. OP, I would like to think that the comment made about your nephew's album was just a thoughtless remark, and not intended to hurt. But I would think twice about scrapping for her again. Don't let that stop you from enjoying your craft, it is so satisfying to have a creative outlet! Who/what you scrap is no one's business but your own! Now the dog bed quilt situation is unbelievably rude! Holy cow! Talk about unappreciative! But maybe the dog loves it? And the Mother's Day card coaster, and the complaining calendar recipient - oy! Ladies, scrap for those who love you and your creations, but most of all, scrap/create for yourself! I would just let the hurtful comments go and keep your focus on your nephew. He will really appreciate those albums someday and so will his future wife. |
|
tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538 
|
Post by tiffanytwisted on Oct 1, 2014 12:56:44 GMT
I understand that many people are just not into crafting of any kind. I think they look at it as a frivolous pastime, and really have no idea of the time and love that goes nto something handmade. But I also think that common courtesy and good manners are fast becoming a thing of the past. OP, I would like to think that the comment made about your nephew's album was just a thoughtless remark, and not intended to hurt. But I would think twice about scrapping for her again. Don't let that stop you from enjoying your craft, it is so satisfying to have a creative outlet! Who/what you scrap is no one's business but your own! Now the dog bed quilt situation is unbelievably rude! Holy cow! Talk about unappreciative! But maybe the dog loves it? And the Mother's Day card coaster, and the complaining calendar recipient - oy! Ladies, scrap for those who love you and your creations, but most of all, scrap/create for yourself! Very well put and my sentiments, exactly. People can really be insensitive. Over the years, I've had many people 'lament' how they 'wish' they had time for that (meaning scrapbooking). Sometimes I say something snarky, but mostly I just smile blankly at them. My husband didn't really appreciate our hobby until I started doing PL. I think all the patterned paper & embellishments are lost on him. Simply putting photos & journaling into an album? Now that's something he can get into. He actually really gets into taking photos while he travels, uploading them to Snapfish & then writing on the backs of them so I can put them in the album. Go figure!  Handmade, not to mention requested quilt used in the dog bed? Come on. Shaking my head . . . Last year I made a card for my father for Valentine's day and forgot to sign it. While I would never expect a thank you for a card, I certainly didn't expect a phone call pointing out the fact that I didn't sign it. Really? That's all that stuck out to you? I guess he thought he was being funny, because he sent it back to me. Really? So not funny. So very hurtful. So not EVER making him another card. Like the rest of you lovely ladies, I remind myself that I'm preserving memories for future generations (I would love to know how my grandmother spent her days, so I'm hoping my great-grandkids will feel that way about my boys) and crafting for me. It's a legitimate hobby like any other and I love doing it. So there. |
|
tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
|
Post by tduby1 on Oct 1, 2014 13:59:41 GMT
When I first started scrapbooking I went to a crop party and the women at the table were all scrapbooking pictures of their children and one of them asked me why I scrapbooked since I don't have kids. I was embarrassed plus it hurt a bit since we had been trying and at the time nothing was happening. What on Earth is wrong with people? I actually know someone who would (and has) voiced a similar sentiment, about a girl we scrapped with before she had her own kids. I was like, "what? Seriously?". I have kids. I love my kids but I do not think one is unable to function without kids, whether by choice or circumstances.
I remember my sister making a scrapbook about her dogs before she had kids. That was cute. Now that she has kids she no longer scrapbooks.
|
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Oct 1, 2014 15:04:53 GMT
I'm so sorry, I am sure that was very painful. I am always stunned at how thoughtless people can be. She probably has no idea how she sounded.
Mallie - I would say I can't believe they'd use your quilt for the dog, but my not so lovely SIL did something similar. DD made my FIL a blanket to use in the hospital because he was always cold. Everyone at the hospital and family knew it was special. SIL used it for her dog when we brought FIL home for hospice. She is always horrible to my DD.
|
|
tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
|
Post by tiffanytwisted on Oct 1, 2014 16:18:43 GMT
Something his granddaughter made? What comes after 'complete bitch' on the scale of horrible people?
|
|
|
|
Post by love2scrap on Oct 2, 2014 3:11:47 GMT
I'm sorry you're feel hurt. People who have kids don't realize the hurt they inflict to those who have lost them. I don't have kids either (by loss) and sometimes it seems scrappy stuff is geared toward only scrapping kids events. I know it's not, but sometimes it seems that way. I will tell you that YES ITS GEARED FOR CHILDREN. Not as much as it use to but it's still there. To the op, I understand I had 1miscarriage and 3 failed IVF. It's very hard. I have been asked for over 10 years why I scrap since I have no kids and I've learned to answer because my life matters with or without kids. i can see by your picture that you're fairly younger than me and I just want to tell you that God is in control and everything's in His timing. Don't give up the scrapping. Document your life. You have one advantage that many who jump into scrapping after they have kids don't.. You can show those future kids that their parents did wonderful and fun things before they were born. You can show them your love for each other and things you have in common with your spouse. You can document your schooling, your likes and dislikes. Your interests, how you grew up. I've seen through out the years that many with kids don't do this and it's a shame. After all you were more than mom at one time and I'm sure your kids would love to see it documented! |
|
|
|
Post by Florida Cindy on Oct 2, 2014 12:31:31 GMT
I'm so sorry you feel bad  I can understand. She probably thought she was being kind, suggesting that she knew you were giving of your precious time to do this for your nephew when you could be scrapping for yourself. She obviously doesn't understand your situation fully. ITA. |
|
gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
|
Post by gloryjoy on Oct 2, 2014 13:16:08 GMT
I'm sorry she hurt your feelings, she may not have meant it the way she said it.
I had my feelings hurt a little once, by my mother-in-law. I gave her a set of Christmas cards I had made one year and she asked me "what do I do with these?". That day I learnt to never give her anything homemade again. She is just not into it. Almost everyone in my life appreciates what I make/give them but it just isn't her thing so I tried not to take it personally.
Not the same situation as yours, but I get the "hurt feelings".
|
|
|
|
Post by rainangel on Oct 2, 2014 15:19:13 GMT
OP I'm sorry about that insensitive remark, but I agree with the others here saying that your SIL might have meant it in a 'you really want to spend all that time on my son' kinda way  I have had my feeling hurt when I made a lettersize album for my grandmother on her 80th birthday. I spent weeks on that album, including many old b/w photos of her as a child, and also including pages with all her children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren. When we celebrated her birthday, me and my sister went over to her, and she was talking to her own sister. I gave her the album, wished her a happy birthday and she more or less grabbed the album out of my hands and said 'oh, look at this' to her sister and started looking at the pages. She never said thank you and didn't even look at me when I gave it to her. Just took it and started showing it around without acknowledging me at all. Me and my sister were baffled! My grandmother usually fawns over the cards I make for her, she has all of the matchboxes, decorated candles and chocolateboxes I have made for her on display in the livingroom, so I know she truly appreciates the cards and the gifts. But she still hasn't said thank you for that album. They did put it out on display when my grandmother and grandfather celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary last year. It was on display on the gift-table, a lot of the pages in the album were of my grandparents as newly engaged and as a young family with babies. But she could have said a simple thank you for it  Especially since she almost threatened to stop giving me gifts for my birthday because she never got a thank you back. This when I was living on a different side of the world with completely different time zones making it hard to call her with the time difference. I haven't stopped making her things though, because her living room is more or less a museum of my handmade cards  |
|
|
|
Post by TracieClaiborne on Oct 2, 2014 19:11:54 GMT
I've have read this thread with my mouth gaping open for most of it. I am astounded by people and their rudeness. Wow. I really don't think the OP's relative meant much by her comment - people just say dumb things without thinking but I can see how that would hurt. I would have to tell her that I wish I had kids of my own but I love hers so much I love to scrap about him. Maybe she really doesn't know that.
The quilt and the dog bed, oh my - no words.
Probably the most hurtful thing that's happened to me scrap-related is when I showed my Mom my first few albums I made, she would ALWAYS say, "I've seen these pictures before." Everything else around the pictures meant nothing and neither did the journaling. It was bizarre.
I gave my boss a set of beautiful handmade cards for her to give out to people and I've always wondered if she used them. I think they are probably sitting in a drawer somewhere but that's okay. I know they were nicer than a store-bought card and some of my best work but I am very hesitant to give anything crafty away to anyone who isn't crafty. Learned the hard way like everyone else on here.
|
|
|
|
Post by tuva42 on Oct 2, 2014 20:52:59 GMT
I'm so sorry. That would hurt my feelings, too. I wonder, though, if what she was really saying was that she didn't think her 5-year-old would appreciate a scrapbook.
|
|
|
|
Post by mommaho on Oct 3, 2014 15:30:04 GMT
I understand completely and I'm sorry you felt hurt. Some people get it, some don't. Don't dwell on those who aren't open enough to appreciate what you do, but please complete your album because I know your nephew will love it!
My sister doesn't get my scrapping. She thinks the Design Team I was on and projects I've done are just a hobby . . . not real creative work. She made her living designing and making drapery - she called it her profession so I guess her work is more professional than mine in her mind.
Our mother is turning 85 this year and I suggested that we gather pictures and letters from all the grands and great grands and I would make an album for her. Next thing I know I get an email from her that she had been to Costco and discovered we could make a leather bound more professional looking book by scanning in our pictures and letters at a very reasonable cost and that she would take it from here to make sure it got accomplished. She even assigned each family member a specific number of pages (called it equal footage) asking if I was sure I wanted DDs Fiancé included since anything could happened over the next year before their scheduled marriage. Really!? They've been dating for 5 years and got engaged last Christmas Eve!
So anyway I am letting it go - just like I do everything else. She has no clue that she is being a jerk, she thinks she is being helpful. She is retired and has a lot of time on her hands.
This hobby of ours shouldn't be stressful - enjoy each moment creating!
|
|
|
|
Post by missysauter on Oct 3, 2014 17:42:38 GMT
My MIL doesn't "get" scrapbooking at all. She is an avid photo taker, but still puts all of her photos in those darned magnetic albums. I have talked to her until I'm blue in the face about the damage that is being done to the photos. She has 40+ albums that I will get to deal with once she passes.
18 years ago I made an anniversary album for MIL and FIL. I had contacted over 100 of their friends and family all over the world and asked that they write a note and send any photos they would like to share. It took me a year to put it together and I was so pleased with how it came out.
My MIL sat down with it the day after the party. Did a cursory look through and said - oh, that was nice. NICE? I poured my heart and soul into it. NICE? Hmmm.
But, there is a little bit of good news. Just this past summer (18 years after I gave it to her) she pulled out the album and actually got a bit emotional while looking at it. No additional thanks, but at least it showed some emotion.
|
|
|
|
Post by vintageblossom on Oct 6, 2014 18:48:08 GMT
Whether she knows if it hurt you or not I think you would feel better to talk about it. She may say just what you need to hear to help you get your mojo back. A lot of time is wasted especially if the other person had no intention of hurting you. I hope it all works out and I have been there so I wish you the best.
|
|
|
|
Post by Leone on Oct 6, 2014 21:27:52 GMT
Oh, my sister calls scrapbooking the trailer trash hobby. She no longer receives any of my efforts.
|
|
scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
|
Post by scrapaddie on Oct 6, 2014 23:01:48 GMT
I think your pain has more o do with your situation than scrapping and I totally understand. I have spent years of my life trying to conceive and I have heard all the thoughtless comments.....
Scrap on and enjoy. ( I so wanted to sayv'stay calm'!)
|
|
tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
|
Post by tiffanytwisted on Oct 7, 2014 11:58:25 GMT
 Rude!
|
|
|
|
Post by titancia on Oct 7, 2014 15:55:01 GMT
Oh my gosh! These are painful to read, for so many different reasons.
I'm a pretty sporadic scrapbooker, but one thing I realized I can do is put together a digital scrapbook on Shutterfly. Which still takes HOURS. I put one together of my cousin's kid for his 1st birthday and my cousin teared up and got emotional, which was really all the thanks I needed since I've never seen him like that. My aunt's response was, "Oh, I was going to do that." No, no you weren't, otherwise you would have done it. Plus, it wasn't for you, it was for my cousin, but thanks for making me feel like I wasted my time.
I also have a manager at work, whom I love dearly most of the time. She appreciates handmade things because she's a crafter, too, but it always KILLS ME when she says, "You have too much time on your hands! I have kids...I can't do that!" She said that so often, whether it was for a craft or for baking cupcakes for people's birthday, I quit doing anything because I couldn't stand the criticism. I'm unmarried, single and would love nothing more than to be married with a kid on the way (which I rarely admit to anyone because I don't want them to feel sorry for me because, unfortunately, it doesn't look that's in the cards for me), but it just makes me feel crummy every time she makes that comment and just hits a sore spot.
People don't realize how barb like their simple comments can be, and I think it hurts worse when you know they really know you as a person. It digs it in deeper.
|
|
loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
|
Post by loco coco on Oct 7, 2014 16:18:13 GMT
you peas are the best! I love the scrappers here and thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I read each reply and they all gave good insight and the hugs were VERY appreciated  However, Im in SHOCK over some things you all have experiences from family or friends! Most of it is just down right rude and I would be so hurt. Im glad Im not alone though LOL ((HUGS)) Oh, my sister calls scrapbooking the trailer trash hobby. She no longer receives any of my efforts. Obviously she is clueless, does she know how expensive it is to scrap?! |
|
loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
|
Post by loco coco on Oct 7, 2014 16:19:39 GMT
I'm sorry you're feel hurt. People who have kids don't realize the hurt they inflict to those who have lost them. I don't have kids either (by loss) and sometimes it seems scrappy stuff is geared toward only scrapping kids events. I know it's not, but sometimes it seems that way. I will tell you that YES ITS GEARED FOR CHILDREN. Not as much as it use to but it's still there. To the op, I understand I had 1miscarriage and 3 failed IVF. It's very hard. I have been asked for over 10 years why I scrap since I have no kids and I've learned to answer because my life matters with or without kids. i can see by your picture that you're fairly younger than me and I just want to tell you that God is in control and everything's in His timing. Don't give up the scrapping. Document your life. You have one advantage that many who jump into scrapping after they have kids don't.. You can show those future kids that their parents did wonderful and fun things before they were born. You can show them your love for each other and things you have in common with your spouse. You can document your schooling, your likes and dislikes. Your interests, how you grew up. I've seen through out the years that many with kids don't do this and it's a shame. After all you were more than mom at one time and I'm sure your kids would love to see it documented! this was so sweet and I really took it to heart, thank you so much |
|
loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
|
Post by loco coco on Oct 7, 2014 16:21:51 GMT
Made MIL a Mother's Day card and she took it ..looked at it...said nothing and put her cup on it to use as a coaster. Card was ruined from the wetness from the glass. I refuse to make cards for people who aren't scrappers or people who I know 100% won't appreciate them. Also the comment "why do you scrapbook? You don't have kids" pisses me off to no end. Sorry but my DH and I are important enough to scrapbook as well! omg! that would make me so mad, you should get her coasters this year for christmas. When she looks at you confused you can just giggle inside  |
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Oct 7, 2014 16:26:41 GMT
Oh, my sister calls scrapbooking the trailer trash hobby. She no longer receives any of my efforts. What the heck?  Did you want to bitch slap her? |
|
|
|
Post by woodysbetty on Oct 7, 2014 16:36:17 GMT
I keep reading this thread and moving from emotion to emotion, mad, sad, horrified, then smiling, laughing........it reminds me how wonderful the Peas are.....hugs to all for offering love and understanding.....awesome!!!! |
|
|
|
Post by kristenf on Oct 7, 2014 17:22:29 GMT
Oh, my sister calls scrapbooking the trailer trash hobby. She no longer receives any of my efforts. THAT... is hysterical! Raise your hand if your stash would NOT FIT in a trailer!!! lol I don't have anything so outwardly hurtful, more of a "where did it go?" kind of thing... when FIL retired I made him a Rolodex. A bunch of us got together and got him quite a few gift cards for things he would be doing in retirement-home depot, movie theaters, restaurants, etc... and the other cards had pics of the grandsons and quotes about grandparenting, or quotes about retirement. I made 65 cards, because it was his 65th birthday. I Adore my FIL, and he's always very appreciative-he loved it and was very grateful. But... I sort of thought it would end up on his desk, since its full of pics of his grandsons. Not so much... I never set eyes on it again, it just disappeared-it was either stashed somewhere, or *gulp* tossed. I don't want to ask about it, because omg, how needy is that! And on the Importance-O-Meter, it's barely registering a blip. But, I'm a little sad! We have to remember when people have mean comments about having the time, wasting the time, etc... that the act of creating produces beneficial chemicals in the brain. It makes us happier, better able to focus, to sleep, ultimately healthier. Whether it's scrapping or any other creative outlet, there are actual physical and mental health benefits to creating. So, sistahs, don't let anyone shame you!!! |
|
|
|
Post by love2scrap on Oct 14, 2014 17:24:05 GMT
Oh, my sister calls scrapbooking the trailer trash hobby. She no longer receives any of my efforts. THAT... is hysterical! Raise your hand if your stash would NOT FIT in a trailer!!! lol Even if they were to make a quadruple wide trailer my stash wouldn't fit....... |
|
oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,167
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
|
Post by oaksong on Oct 15, 2014 2:53:03 GMT
Oh my gosh! These are painful to read, for so many different reasons. I'm a pretty sporadic scrapbooker, but one thing I realized I can do is put together a digital scrapbook on Shutterfly. Which still takes HOURS. I put one together of my cousin's kid for his 1st birthday and my cousin teared up and got emotional, which was really all the thanks I needed since I've never seen him like that. My aunt's response was, "Oh, I was going to do that." No, no you weren't, otherwise you would have done it. Plus, it wasn't for you, it was for my cousin, but thanks for making me feel like I wasted my time. I also have a manager at work, whom I love dearly most of the time. She appreciates handmade things because she's a crafter, too, but it always KILLS ME when she says, "You have too much time on your hands! I have kids...I can't do that!" She said that so often, whether it was for a craft or for baking cupcakes for people's birthday, I quit doing anything because I couldn't stand the criticism. I'm unmarried, single and would love nothing more than to be married with a kid on the way (which I rarely admit to anyone because I don't want them to feel sorry for me because, unfortunately, it doesn't look that's in the cards for me), but it just makes me feel crummy every time she makes that comment and just hits a sore spot. People don't realize how barb like their simple comments can be, and I think it hurts worse when you know they really know you as a person. It digs it in deeper. People just suck sometimes! You sound like a very caring person, and it's too bad some of the people in your life can't appreciate that. Their attitude says far more about them than it does about you, so just keep on being your generous, creative self. |
|
|
|
Post by Aheartfeltcard on Oct 15, 2014 14:28:32 GMT
I tried to reply to the post a while ago but it didn't go through. Op, I would just continue to do what you do. If you want to make a scrapbook for your nephew then just do it. A gift to him is not for her..
I can't even read the rest of the replies on this thread. HOnestly, I have never had anyone knock me for this hobby. Most people I know have either began scrapbooking after seeing my pages or are just in awe. It's sad to hear that people could say anything nasty about something so worthwhile, loving , creative and heartfelt. F*** them.
|
|
I can understand. She probably thought she was being kind, suggesting that she knew you were giving of your precious time to do this for your nephew when you could be scrapping for yourself. She obviously doesn't understand your situation fully. 
Especially since she almost threatened to stop giving me gifts for my birthday because she never got a thank you back. This when I was living on a different side of the world with completely different time zones making it hard to call her with the time difference. 
Rude!
Did you want to bitch slap her?
[/URL]