Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:03:25 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2018 20:42:40 GMT
Pretty sure that would be a HIPAA violation, she is not the pt. They probably cant tell her anything. Not sure though. Good luck OP. Get tested. How would it be a HIPAA violation to call an office and ask what their standard testing is? I was not indicating she should ask what the standard testing for her husband is. Just a general “if I use your practice and have ‘yearly bloodwork’ what would be included?” Sorry, I misunderstood. 
|
|
|
Post by busy on Dec 5, 2018 20:42:46 GMT
I have experienced it as routine with yearly bloodwork. I've had a family member die from AIDS so I don't shy away from the testing. I can see where this would give you pause considering your relationship however. Why don't you call that doctor's office and ask if it's standard for them before asking your DH? Pretty sure that would be a HIPAA violation, she is not the pt. They probably cant tell her anything. Not sure though. Good luck OP. Get tested. I’m pretty sure she means asking if it is included in the office’s general routine bloodwork, not anything specifically about her DH. The latter would fall under HIPAA, the former would not because it’s not tied to a patient. ETA: I see this was addressed while I was posting 
|
|
|
Post by not2peased on Dec 5, 2018 21:42:08 GMT
my husband's routine physical had that and a hep c test-I didn't think anything of it to be honest.
I know hep c is a big issue in older populations-he's not elderly, but he is 55. hiv kind of goes hand in hand. Lots of people were reckless in their pasts, whether it was sex without protection, or past drug use
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Dec 5, 2018 22:11:49 GMT
A HIV test was included in my pregnancy blood work. I didn't know that test was ordered until I got my results back. mine too at least for my youngest (she's 12). I know it wasn't for my oldest back in 1991
|
|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Dec 5, 2018 22:13:43 GMT
I'm trying not to panic. I was just going through some old medical papers looking for an old bill and found a doctors slip from dh from a year ago which shows that among other typical blood tests he had an hiv test. We've been together almost 30 years. these blood tests were part of a physical that he had. he has had a problem with porn addiction and has lied many times about that but has sworn up and down that he has never done anything physical with anyone other than me since we've been together. I'm probably going to confront him but I'm guessing what excuses he's going to try. I'm thinking he might say that his doctor has everyone take the test. I will call bs on that but I first want to make sure I'm right about that. would a doctor order an hiv test without specifically asking if the patient might have a need for that? also dh might try to convince me that he didn't know the doctor tested for that along with cholesterol etc. so again I'm asking would a doctor just slip in a test for hiv without specifically asking the patient? is there anything I'm not thinking of as far as why a person might get an hiv test other than the obvious reason? 1. Don't panic just yet. 2. GET TESTED. 3. DON'T and I mean don't take his word on it (just yet) That all said, my sister was married for over 20 years to a man who was addicted to porn. He SWORE up and down that was all he did, just computer stuff. YEARS of therapy didn't help because he would blame it all on my sister's over active imagination. To the point the doctor's were telling her SHE needed to change and so forth. She finally couldn't take it anymore cause she KNEW he was still into it. A year after their divorce, it all came out. It was SO much more than porn, it was to the point where they relocated to another state because (unknown to her) there was some pimp threatening the family. Her DH moved, left her the kids behind because he "HAD" to start his new 'promotion' at work. Even got a new phone with a new phone number.. NO NO NO.. it was because some pimp dude was out to find him. So pardon my language because there is no other word for it, but he f*cked just about anyone with two legs and there is (now) proof. this is probably an extreme example, but 20 years of buying his bullshit and she now has files and files of stuff that she found. If you suspect something, turn every stone over and don't second guess yourself, if it doesn't seem right, it probably isn't. She can't do anything about it now either. If she turned him into his work (cause that is where a lot of the shenanigan's took place) if he got fired she would lose her alimony/child support. She doesn't bad mouth him to her kids. She doesn't bad mouth him to his family (as far as she knows, they have no idea about this) so she is to blame for the divorce. So for now, she is stuck with all of this info and keeping it to herself.. at least for now. He knows that she knows everything now. She explained it all in a letter to him basically the only arrangement between them is a business arrangement and that is the kids. She will communicate to him and only in regards to the kids or once in awhile updates on his work/traveling. Sorry that was LONG and drawn out.. but just make sure you don't turn the other way if something is off. My sister did that for way too long. Things were off, but not bad, little did she know...
|
|
|
Post by teach4u on Dec 5, 2018 22:31:30 GMT
Porn addiction and "excuse making" leads me to think he cheated. I say that based on what you have shared.
I will say at my last appointment, my gp asked if I wanted an HIV test. There's no reason I need one and I declined. They are recommending people take then in certain circumstances.
My dh has the same gp. He didn't take the test.
If your dh did in fact take the test, my guess is it crossed his mind he could have contracted HIV
|
|
|
Post by teach4u on Dec 5, 2018 22:32:59 GMT
My doctor said you have to give consent for HIV test. They don't just do it. You'd know they were doing a blood draw and you'd most likely be told why they were doing it. I rarely have labs drawn.
|
|
|
Post by birukitty on Dec 5, 2018 22:34:26 GMT
I'm sorry you are going through this. My advice, were it me, would be to get tested for HIV and all other sexually transmitted diseases ASAP! Given your DH's past history with his addiction to porn at this point I wouldn't say a thing to him. I would focus immediately on getting tested first. Let that be your sole focus right now so you can concentrate on that. Your health is of vital importance right now!
After you get the results back, depending on what they say, you have some thinking to do. If the results come back all clear does that mean your DH hasn't been cheating on you, or does it mean he was very careful to use a condom each time? If the results come back that you have a sexually transmitted disease you know you haven't been sleeping with anyone but your DH so you'll know that he cheated on you. That's why I suggest not saying anything at all to your DH yet. Wait until you have all of the knowledge in your hands first before you confront him. That's my suggestion and what I would do.
I'm going by your tone and what your post is telling me. It sounds to me that if you confront your DH now with the news that you found the paperwork for his test for HIV you wouldn't believe anything he said anyway. I think having more knowledge gives you a stronger position before you talk to him.
Obviously I hope all of your tests come back clear! But please take care of yourself first medically. It's very important. I wish for you peace as you go forward and am sending you big hugs! I know this is so hard for you right now. We are here for you so please come back anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or anything you want to discuss. We are here. A lot of us have been where you are. It will get better, I promise.
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Dec 6, 2018 0:02:10 GMT
They don't just throw an HIV test onto your routine labwork without discussion, other than during pregnancy or in the case of an exposure such as needlestick. His reason for wanting one may be completely innocent, but in light of what else you've said, I highly doubt it. Never yet heard of a man with a porn addiction who's been completely monogamous for 25+ years who just decided he wanted an HIV test for shits and giggles.
|
|
|
Post by jemmls4 on Dec 6, 2018 0:34:40 GMT
HIV is a standard test in most prenatal profiles. I have had several HIV tests because I was in the medical technology track so we were tested before our hospital internship, and if you ever had a needle stick or exposure to a patient’s blood. That happened twice to me.
I also had a blood transfusion during surgery about 8 years ago and I asked for an HIV test during my annual physical for 2 or 3 years afterwards as a precautionary measure. I also had one for an insurance policy as others have mentioned.
|
|
kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,448
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
|
Post by kelly8875 on Dec 6, 2018 2:13:36 GMT
Get tested yourself. I wouldn’t trust him. I’ve not had a “routine” HIV test. I did get tested when I was pregnant, the doctor did ask for a test and I agreed. I had to sign a special form for that.
|
|
Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,710
Jun 28, 2014 17:36:35 GMT
|
Post by Dani-Mani on Dec 6, 2018 2:30:09 GMT
I’m very surprised at the people who think HIV testing isn’t “routine.”
ALL STD testing, which includes HIV, has been routine at every doctor I’ve ever been to. You don’t have to consent anymore than you have to consent to any other routine testing you’ve done, but it’s offered at every annual and physical I’ve ever had.
|
|
|
Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 6, 2018 2:54:19 GMT
Any Canadians been offered it here? I told my GP I needed HepC screening because I got bad blood products but that’s it.
|
|
ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,571
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
|
Post by ashley on Dec 6, 2018 4:20:32 GMT
If there was a concern over STIs due to multiple partners / unprotected sex, would there be oher tests ordered as well?
|
|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Dec 6, 2018 4:31:13 GMT
I’m very surprised at the people who think HIV testing isn’t “routine.” ALL STD testing, which includes HIV, has been routine at every doctor I’ve ever been to. You don’t have to consent anymore than you have to consent to any other routine testing you’ve done, but it’s offered at every annual and physical I’ve ever had. As far as I know I have never been tested for STDs including HIV... never been discussed either at my doctor for 20 years or my new doctor in the last year. Never been asked once.
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Dec 6, 2018 5:36:15 GMT
I’m very surprised at the people who think HIV testing isn’t “routine.” ALL STD testing, which includes HIV, has been routine at every doctor I’ve ever been to. You don’t have to consent anymore than you have to consent to any other routine testing you’ve done, but it’s offered at every annual and physical I’ve ever had. It's not routine to test for that without consent (as you said, it's offered commonly; it's not just performed on every patient in the practice without discussing it). And if you had been monogamous for 25+ years and never shared a needle you probably wouldn't need it or request it, unless he suspects his wife I guess. It's still pretty suspicious in light of the other information.
|
|
|
Post by manda on Dec 6, 2018 8:01:40 GMT
Mine doesn't. I can die of any cause. That’s not what she’s saying. She’s talking about the required physical prior to issuance of a policy. I guess I wouldn’t jump to the worst conclusion. If he were having affairs and was tested because he was worried about risk, I wouldn’t think he’d file that detailed receipt with the rest of the family medical records. I would assume he’d go somewhere other than his primary doctor specifically for that test and not involve insurance or retain documentation. Corporate sponsored life insurance plans don’t require any tests.
|
|
|
Post by manda on Dec 6, 2018 8:07:08 GMT
I’m very surprised at the people who think HIV testing isn’t “routine.” ALL STD testing, which includes HIV, has been routine at every doctor I’ve ever been to. You don’t have to consent anymore than you have to consent to any other routine testing you’ve done, but it’s offered at every annual and physical I’ve ever had. It's not routine to test for that without consent (as you said, it's offered commonly; it's not just performed on every patient in the practice without discussing it). And if you had been monogamous for 25+ years and never shared a needle you probably wouldn't need it or request it, unless he suspects his wife I guess. It's still pretty suspicious in light of the other information. And this. You generally have to request HIV testing specifically. Even here in California which generally goes above and beyond. It is not automatic. If I found out my partner was having HIV testing, I would be gravely concerned.
|
|
|
Post by Really Red on Dec 6, 2018 12:53:07 GMT
I was going to say exactly what workingclassdog said. For those of you who say it's a routine question? It may be in some places, but I have never been asked. And I cannot imagine someone in a committed relationship of OP's duration - 20 years - would even ask for one unless 1) they had multiple partners or 2) were planning on showing their next partner they were negative. OP - it's not good. Please get your affairs in order first. Then talk.
|
|
|
Post by pelirroja on Dec 6, 2018 13:16:24 GMT
Have you considered getting tested (full STD screen) and keeping this info to yourself? You don't know the reasoning behind his test but it sounds like you have legit reasons to doubt him. I wouldn't confront him (yet) but I would secretly get tested. Get some answers first and then you'll be better prepared on how to handle these issues. ((hugs))
|
|
|
Post by busy on Dec 6, 2018 13:33:42 GMT
That’s not what she’s saying. She’s talking about the required physical prior to issuance of a policy. I guess I wouldn’t jump to the worst conclusion. If he were having affairs and was tested because he was worried about risk, I wouldn’t think he’d file that detailed receipt with the rest of the family medical records. I would assume he’d go somewhere other than his primary doctor specifically for that test and not involve insurance or retain documentation. Corporate sponsored life insurance plans don’t require any tests. Not if you’re only getting what your employer provides, but in my experience, if you want to increase your coverage through that insurer, you do have to have a physical just like any other life insurance underwriting.
|
|
|
Post by lancermom on Dec 6, 2018 15:42:20 GMT
Coincidence?  I had a physical this morning. I have been with DH for 25 years. I was asked if I wanted the test. She said it has become standard that if someone doesn’t have one on file, they ask. So maybe innocent???
|
|
milocat
Drama Llama

Posts: 5,899
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
|
Post by milocat on Dec 6, 2018 16:01:19 GMT
Any Canadians been offered it here? I told my GP I needed HepC screening because I got bad blood products but that’s it. Just with my pregnancies, that was standard. Haven't been offered or suggested since.
|
|
GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
 
Posts: 8,704
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
|
Post by GiantsFan on Dec 6, 2018 16:13:36 GMT
That’s not what she’s saying. She’s talking about the required physical prior to issuance of a policy. I guess I wouldn’t jump to the worst conclusion. If he were having affairs and was tested because he was worried about risk, I wouldn’t think he’d file that detailed receipt with the rest of the family medical records. I would assume he’d go somewhere other than his primary doctor specifically for that test and not involve insurance or retain documentation. Corporate sponsored life insurance plans don’t require any tests. If I were to enroll in my corporate plan on my hire date, then there would be no physical or tests. If I enroll at a later date or increase my value from the standard amount then a physical and tests are required.
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on Dec 6, 2018 18:47:57 GMT
I know it's a long shot but has he had blood transfusions, plasma products or similar. Or has he worked in a lab with human tissue or fluids? As I said it's a long shot! Either it was some sort of standard thing done just as a safeguard, or the above would be my first thoughts. There are other behaviors and circumstances that could expose a person to the HIV virus than just sex.
|
|
melissa
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,912
Jun 25, 2014 20:45:00 GMT
|
Post by melissa on Dec 6, 2018 18:49:46 GMT
And I'm in a 23 year long monogamous relationship with the only person I have ever so much as kissed. Other than one tattoo, I have zero risk factors whatsoever (and the tattoo was done in a professional setting, not by some dude with a needle in prison) Perhaps you missed the news a few years ago of a dental office that was not properly sanitizing equipment and spread some blood born diseases. That case was a dental office somewhere in the midwest (maybe Oklahoma) where thousands of patients may have been exposed to HIV, hepatitis,etc even at routine cleanings. Granted that is unusual, but because cases like that pop up from time to time (there's another one on a smaller scale that I read about recently), low risk does not equate no risk.
|
|
used2scrap
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,147
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
|
Post by used2scrap on Dec 6, 2018 18:50:46 GMT
Coincidence?  I had a physical this morning. I have been with DH for 25 years. I was asked if I wanted the test. She said it has become standard that if someone doesn’t have one on file, they ask. So maybe innocent??? You’ve been with DH for 25 years, so when asked, did you opt for the test?
|
|
|
Post by mcscrapper on Dec 6, 2018 18:51:25 GMT
I work in healthcare. I've seen many inpatient docs order the HIV / hep panels and they do not have to get any specific consent. A pt is providing "implied consent" just by being in the ER and agreeing to admission or any other test. Any test, however, can be refused by the patient. I have no experience in the clinic setting, however, so that test may be a standard test for some MDs. In my facility, if an employee has an exposure (ie needle stick, bodily fluids, etc) we do have to get consent from the patient to test his/her blood.
If I were you, I would call the clinic and ask what their standard yearly physical labs and exam includes. Ask for the specific labs because they may likely tell you "Just the basics" which would not include any HIV / hepatitis panels. You can ask specifically about HIV testing if that is not included. If the office tells you that these are standard, then maybe you don't have that to worry about. If it isn't, you will have your answer to your next step. Get yourself tested if you feel it necessary.
I think I would get all of my ducks in a tight row before confronting him. If he is still addicted to porn, that is another issue y'all will need to address.
Sorry this is happening. I'm sure you feel gut-punched right now. Hugs!!!!
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on Dec 6, 2018 18:54:44 GMT
hat case was a dental office somewhere in the midwest (maybe Oklahoma) where thousands of patients may have been exposed to HIV, hepatitis,etc even at routine cleanings. Granted that is unusual, but because cases like that pop up from time to time (there's another one on a smaller scale that I read about recently), low risk does not equate no risk. this story is similar to one I heard about people who were at risk for contracting diseases because the doctors were either cleaning and reusing equipment they shouldn't have- or cleaning it incorrectly- for colonoscopies... I seem to remember hearing something about that a while ago in the news. Contracting the HIV virus is NOT solely a risk due to risky sexual behaviors.
|
|
Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,950
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
|
Post by Rhondito on Dec 6, 2018 19:04:04 GMT
doctors were either cleaning and reusing equipment they shouldn't have- or cleaning it incorrectly- for colonoscopies... 
|
|