Post by luvnlifelady on Dec 17, 2018 14:50:02 GMT
Good morning ladies. It has been a bit since I have been on. A lot as happened in my life recently and over the last year. Last year, on December 18, I was hospitalized for three weeks. One of that was on the medical floor as they suspected I had meningitis. They treated that for a week and after about a 10 minute conversation with a psychiatrist I had never met before, they determined that my issue was psychological.
That landed me in the psych ward for two weeks which meant I was there over Christmas and New Year’s also. To say that sucked is a major understatement. Even while in the hospital I was under 24 hour watch although I wasn’t necessarily suicidal. I was transferred to the psych ward on Christmas night as I was opening gifts from my two adult children. I asked them if they could wait until morning but they said no although nothing was done for me Christmas night. That was the ultimate lowest moment of my life.
The place was horrible. So much so that it is now closed. They simply push meds but offered little other help. Most people only got three days there and were then sent back to the situation that got them there in the first place. I can see why there is a mental health crisis in our country. There really isn’t much help out there.
While I was in the psych ward, I had a hearing. Because I had no street clothes with me at the time, I had to appear in a hospital gown in front of probably about six or seven hospital professionals. It was there that it was determined that I was gravely disabled. That’s almost laughable now.
It is also interesting that the man I am now dating and living with had his wife leave him on that same day. He had come home from vacation to his bank account empty and half his house emptied.
Anyway, backing up a bit, after the hospital, I did go to live in an independent living situation. While in the hospital, it was deemed that I really shouldn’t be living alone. Not sure how they came up with that though. Anyway, this new living situation sucked because I was paying $850 a month to share a room. We both paid that same amount. It was highway robbery.
I found out that the landlord there was under investigation for having killed his wife who died at home. Then there was another roommate who had recently spent time in prison for attempted murder with her car. She didn’t like me and one morning as she stood behind me at the kitchen sink, she put me in a chokehold. Although the landlord saw what happened, the authorities would not take his witness testimony because they thought we were involved romantically. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I stayed there for seven months and then moved in with an acquaintance. I was helping with her elderly mother and it seemed to be going somewhat OK although she was a major control freak. She basically wanted rental income but not the noise or distractions of renters. Just one instance was when I was talking to my daughter in my room on the phone a little after midnight. I heard a tap on the wall and then got a text that my roommate could hear me talking. She basically wanted me to hang up at that point. I sometimes tried to go in the backyard for any late night discussions but I also felt like I should be able to talk on the phone in my own room.
That situation escalated quickly one night when I had my son over to watch TV while he recovered from wisdom teeth surgery. Earlier in the day, her daughter had told her that she wouldn’t be coming home for Thanksgiving. I think it all boilled down to her not wanting me to have my child around if she couldn’t have her’s. Just the day before, I had picked her up from the airport and we had been planning a Thanksgiving meal and also making some Christmas plans. It was like a light switched. She became crazy.
She locked me out of the only bathroom access in the house, locked me out of the Wi-Fi, took the toilet paper, took the lightbulbs out of the overhead lights, and eventually even took my laptop and phone charger out of my room.
I had met the previously mentioned gentleman on Facebook a few years ago in a sports fan page. We had never been inappropriate but had talked off and on with in the page itself. Around July or so, we started to message each other about an issue I was having and we really seemed to hit it off. I was surprised to learn that he was also going through a divorce.
He did invite me out to his city to see a ball game as we share a love of the town sports teams. I accepted his invitation but I did tell him that I was not looking for a long-distance relationship. He now says he was crushed when I said that and he got very quiet on messenger. I would message him off and on just to check in with him and see how it was going. He would either ignore me or just send a very short reply. However, one morning he sent me a message asking how we could make a relationship work.
I flew out to his town in September for four days and we had a great time together. We then made plans for me to fly here on Thanksgiving to meet his family. We then planned for me to maybe move here in May. I had never really felt at home in CA despite being there for 40 plus years. This area feels more like home to me because of all my visits. My room situation took a drastic turn for the worse and I just decided to make the move earlier.
He did end up selling his house and as previously mentioned, at first I was a bit disappointed about the way it all went down but in hindsight, I think it is the best for us at this time. We can rent for a year and then reassess as we may eventually relocate to a new city altogether. I did meet his family on Thanksgiving and it went pretty well. He has a son who is married and he and his wife seemed very accepting of me. I also met his mother and younger granddaughter. His own daughter (also married) seemed a little standoffish to me at this time but I can understand that I am new and it will take a bit of time to get to know me.
My kids (18 and 21) along with a cousin will be making their first ever trip to the area on Wednesday. I am nervous and excited. I had visited this area many times as my parents and grandparents grew up here. I am excited to show my kids the town. My daughter seemed very upset that I left but I have been trying to tell her that those were my plans. I had posted over the years of problems with both children and while we are somewhat close, some of the problems continued even recently.
I know this is lightning fast to move in with a man and I have never lived with a man outside marriage. This is all new to me but yet somehow it feels right. The man has a lot of qualities that my dad had. He is kind, compassionate, patient and loving. Of course we all bring baggage to new relationships so we are just trying to get to know each other.
I am sure some of you will think I am crazy for taking this huge step so quickly. If my own daughter does this, I will be shocked but yet will ultimately support her in her decisions. I miss my kids terribly but maybe this is ultimately the best thing for our relationship moving forward. They live with their dad but I think once they find out how expensive their area is, they may be looking to move here also.
I think that is a good summary. Hopefully I haven’t left out too many details.
I do have a lineup for a job in this area and I will be looking into that after the new year. I do have to go back home in late January for a divorce hearing but hopefully my divorce will final pretty soon as well as my new guy’s. I know some think you shouldn’t date until you’re final but I am not one of those.
I didn’t date for 18 months after the separation so I felt like I was ready by then. I did the dating apps for about six months but that just seems like an epic waste of time to me. I did want to find someone to share common interests with me and this new gentleman and I have tons in common. I am looking forward to the new year and all the adventure that this new situation brings me.
I will be flying home for Christmas with my children on the 23rd. I will then be back here by the 29th or 30th because we have New Year’s plans.
One funny thing about the new guy is that he has six cats. I did leave my two with my mother and she seems very attached. Not sure if I will bring them out or not or at least not until my mother moves. She is trying to stay in her own home but my brother wants her out for some reason. That’s a whole Nother situation. Hope all of you have a great holiday.
That landed me in the psych ward for two weeks which meant I was there over Christmas and New Year’s also. To say that sucked is a major understatement. Even while in the hospital I was under 24 hour watch although I wasn’t necessarily suicidal. I was transferred to the psych ward on Christmas night as I was opening gifts from my two adult children. I asked them if they could wait until morning but they said no although nothing was done for me Christmas night. That was the ultimate lowest moment of my life.
The place was horrible. So much so that it is now closed. They simply push meds but offered little other help. Most people only got three days there and were then sent back to the situation that got them there in the first place. I can see why there is a mental health crisis in our country. There really isn’t much help out there.
While I was in the psych ward, I had a hearing. Because I had no street clothes with me at the time, I had to appear in a hospital gown in front of probably about six or seven hospital professionals. It was there that it was determined that I was gravely disabled. That’s almost laughable now.
It is also interesting that the man I am now dating and living with had his wife leave him on that same day. He had come home from vacation to his bank account empty and half his house emptied.
Anyway, backing up a bit, after the hospital, I did go to live in an independent living situation. While in the hospital, it was deemed that I really shouldn’t be living alone. Not sure how they came up with that though. Anyway, this new living situation sucked because I was paying $850 a month to share a room. We both paid that same amount. It was highway robbery.
I found out that the landlord there was under investigation for having killed his wife who died at home. Then there was another roommate who had recently spent time in prison for attempted murder with her car. She didn’t like me and one morning as she stood behind me at the kitchen sink, she put me in a chokehold. Although the landlord saw what happened, the authorities would not take his witness testimony because they thought we were involved romantically. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I stayed there for seven months and then moved in with an acquaintance. I was helping with her elderly mother and it seemed to be going somewhat OK although she was a major control freak. She basically wanted rental income but not the noise or distractions of renters. Just one instance was when I was talking to my daughter in my room on the phone a little after midnight. I heard a tap on the wall and then got a text that my roommate could hear me talking. She basically wanted me to hang up at that point. I sometimes tried to go in the backyard for any late night discussions but I also felt like I should be able to talk on the phone in my own room.
That situation escalated quickly one night when I had my son over to watch TV while he recovered from wisdom teeth surgery. Earlier in the day, her daughter had told her that she wouldn’t be coming home for Thanksgiving. I think it all boilled down to her not wanting me to have my child around if she couldn’t have her’s. Just the day before, I had picked her up from the airport and we had been planning a Thanksgiving meal and also making some Christmas plans. It was like a light switched. She became crazy.
She locked me out of the only bathroom access in the house, locked me out of the Wi-Fi, took the toilet paper, took the lightbulbs out of the overhead lights, and eventually even took my laptop and phone charger out of my room.
I had met the previously mentioned gentleman on Facebook a few years ago in a sports fan page. We had never been inappropriate but had talked off and on with in the page itself. Around July or so, we started to message each other about an issue I was having and we really seemed to hit it off. I was surprised to learn that he was also going through a divorce.
He did invite me out to his city to see a ball game as we share a love of the town sports teams. I accepted his invitation but I did tell him that I was not looking for a long-distance relationship. He now says he was crushed when I said that and he got very quiet on messenger. I would message him off and on just to check in with him and see how it was going. He would either ignore me or just send a very short reply. However, one morning he sent me a message asking how we could make a relationship work.
I flew out to his town in September for four days and we had a great time together. We then made plans for me to fly here on Thanksgiving to meet his family. We then planned for me to maybe move here in May. I had never really felt at home in CA despite being there for 40 plus years. This area feels more like home to me because of all my visits. My room situation took a drastic turn for the worse and I just decided to make the move earlier.
He did end up selling his house and as previously mentioned, at first I was a bit disappointed about the way it all went down but in hindsight, I think it is the best for us at this time. We can rent for a year and then reassess as we may eventually relocate to a new city altogether. I did meet his family on Thanksgiving and it went pretty well. He has a son who is married and he and his wife seemed very accepting of me. I also met his mother and younger granddaughter. His own daughter (also married) seemed a little standoffish to me at this time but I can understand that I am new and it will take a bit of time to get to know me.
My kids (18 and 21) along with a cousin will be making their first ever trip to the area on Wednesday. I am nervous and excited. I had visited this area many times as my parents and grandparents grew up here. I am excited to show my kids the town. My daughter seemed very upset that I left but I have been trying to tell her that those were my plans. I had posted over the years of problems with both children and while we are somewhat close, some of the problems continued even recently.
I know this is lightning fast to move in with a man and I have never lived with a man outside marriage. This is all new to me but yet somehow it feels right. The man has a lot of qualities that my dad had. He is kind, compassionate, patient and loving. Of course we all bring baggage to new relationships so we are just trying to get to know each other.
I am sure some of you will think I am crazy for taking this huge step so quickly. If my own daughter does this, I will be shocked but yet will ultimately support her in her decisions. I miss my kids terribly but maybe this is ultimately the best thing for our relationship moving forward. They live with their dad but I think once they find out how expensive their area is, they may be looking to move here also.
I think that is a good summary. Hopefully I haven’t left out too many details.
I do have a lineup for a job in this area and I will be looking into that after the new year. I do have to go back home in late January for a divorce hearing but hopefully my divorce will final pretty soon as well as my new guy’s. I know some think you shouldn’t date until you’re final but I am not one of those.
I didn’t date for 18 months after the separation so I felt like I was ready by then. I did the dating apps for about six months but that just seems like an epic waste of time to me. I did want to find someone to share common interests with me and this new gentleman and I have tons in common. I am looking forward to the new year and all the adventure that this new situation brings me.
I will be flying home for Christmas with my children on the 23rd. I will then be back here by the 29th or 30th because we have New Year’s plans.
One funny thing about the new guy is that he has six cats. I did leave my two with my mother and she seems very attached. Not sure if I will bring them out or not or at least not until my mother moves. She is trying to stay in her own home but my brother wants her out for some reason. That’s a whole Nother situation. Hope all of you have a great holiday.
