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Post by psoccer on Sept 29, 2014 4:48:38 GMT
Several weeks ago my husband and youngest son (13) went to visit my husband's daughter and her husband. When they came back my son was telling me how her husband took him on a ride on his quad down the residential street. He said they were going close to 60. I'm not sure on my son's accuracy on the speed, but I take it that it was fairly fast. I asked my son if he had on a helmet, and he said no, that SIL said he didn't need one. I am not thrilled. My husband was inside watching football and didn't know what happened. We are going to be seeing them soon and I would like to say something about the quad ride, that I would like my son to wear a helmet. My husband doesn't want me to say a word to him, he is so afraid of offending them, but this is my child, and I feel I have a right to say something. I just want to say something like, thanks for the quad ride, he really enjoyed it, but if you take him next time, please make sure he wears a helmet. What say the peas? I did tell my 13 year old not to ride without a helmet, but I am sure if he is told by an adult it's fine not to, he would.
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Post by lovestocreate on Sept 29, 2014 5:11:11 GMT
If it involves my child's safety, I don't care who I offend. I think you should definitely say something.
The way you phrased is sounds perfectly polite and I don't think anyone should take offense to that.
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Post by lovestocreate on Sept 29, 2014 5:12:44 GMT
Also, not sure where you live but in my state it is illegal to ride a quad on the street.
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Post by psoccer on Sept 29, 2014 5:58:35 GMT
We are in California. No, they are not legal on the street. My son said the neighbors were used to him riding it up and down, so it was ok because the neighbors wouldn't be calling the police. Thank you.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by luvnlifelady on Sept 29, 2014 6:32:29 GMT
I know how you feel. My 14 yo DS went to a friend's property up north for a week (in CA). While there, he was allowed to ride a quad without a helmet. Ugh. If he goes again, I'll have him take his own helmet.
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 29, 2014 6:53:53 GMT
I'd be furious! I have a friend whose nephew died in a quad bike accident and he WAS wearing a helmet! They are dangerous.
I think what you wrote is fine to say. I doubt they would take offence to that.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:52:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 7:29:43 GMT
I LOVE to ride ATVs. So this isn't an ATV hater perspective. I would be livid.
ATVs are far more unsafe on roads than they are on the off-road conditions for which they and their tires are made. They don't get good traction with pavement and can easily slip and roll or flip.
They're made multiple times more unsafe by having two passengers, especially two adult or near-adult passengers because it changes the balance.
The risk is multiplied exponentially again by unsafe speeds.
This sort of recklessness kills people. You MUST say something.
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anniebeth24
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Post by anniebeth24 on Sept 29, 2014 12:52:15 GMT
I'd definitely say something and the way you're proposing sounds perfect. "Thanks, but next time. . ." I had to do the same thing when a friend crammed too many kids in her car and my son was left without a seat belt. Not going to let that happen again, even if it's awkward. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Sept 29, 2014 15:30:09 GMT
Tell your husband to man up, scared of offending him. He is supposed to be the adult. I'll be honest. If my husband was watching football while my child was riding an ATV illegally on the street without a helmet, there would be some serious issues the least of which would be concern about offending the SIL. He should have handled it immediately, or certainly that day. I'd be incredibly pissed. And yes my outrage is enhanced as I've attended two funerals where helmet use was a contributing factor. It's not a small issue you need to debate and decide whether someone will be offended if you mention it. Helmets are non-negotiable period.
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GiantsFan
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Sept 29, 2014 15:37:19 GMT
Helmets are non-negotiable period. This^^^^^ |
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Post by elaine on Sept 29, 2014 15:44:57 GMT
I'd let him know that I preferred they didn't take the ATV out on the street, but if they did to have your son wear a helmet. An ATV on the street at high speeds is a bad idea, even with a helmet.
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Post by auntkelly on Sept 29, 2014 16:42:41 GMT
I always start those conversations by saying something like "My son thinks I'm a fun hater, but my rule is my son has to wear a helmet when he rides on a quad." That way, I am not accusing anyone else of being unsafe or unreasonable, I'm just laying down the law with regard to my family. When people argue with me about how what they are doing is really not unsafe, I just continue to shake my head and say "you may be right, I may be wrong, but I'm not going to let him get on a quad with anyone unless he has a helmet on. If I find out he has broken my rule, he knows there will be hell to pay."
I just don't give anyone any room to argue with me about whether or not something is safe and I could care less if they think I'm being overcautious.
If I were you, I wouldn't want my son riding on a quad w/ this guy at all. I think it is very dangerous to drive 60mph down the street on a quad. If the driver swerved to miss hitting a dog and ran into a tree, your son could end up with a very serious neck or back injury, regardless of whether he was wearing a helmet.
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tracylynn
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Post by tracylynn on Sept 29, 2014 16:56:10 GMT
For one, they should not be going that fast, period. That's dangerous (speaking from ownership myself). And a helmet should ALWAYS be worn. Stupid dangerous not to.
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Post by leannec on Sept 29, 2014 17:31:59 GMT
We have an ATV and dh would never allow anyone on it without a helmet ... ever. The only time he rides it on the road is to circle the block to get to our back fence to store it in the winter ... certainly not to give people rides  |
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LisaDorothy
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Jun 30, 2014 15:47:18 GMT
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Post by LisaDorothy on Sept 29, 2014 17:40:13 GMT
Oh can I relate. My 13 year old suffered a concussion this spring from an ATV ride without a helmet. It affected her life greatly for weeks, but could have killed her. She didn't have my permission to even be on it - I think they are too dangerous. And every single nurse who came into contact with my daughter during her care (3 of them) had a horror story about them and told her she should stay off them. One nurse's husband is permanently brain-damaged.
Offend someone or save a life? Save the life. Never be on an ATV without a helmet.
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Post by heckofagal on Sept 29, 2014 23:28:17 GMT
I've known too many people who have died or became critically injured from those things, so I don't let my kids ride them. Youngest was invited on a camping trip and I did not let her go as I know that is the main form of entertainment for the family.
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Post by doesitmatter on Sept 30, 2014 0:20:55 GMT
We have dirt bikes, street bikes, quads, sand rail etc and our rule is Helmet even if you are going 5mph.
I am not fearful of extreme or motorized sports but we do always use helmets and safety gear. Accidents do happen.
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Post by Rachel on Sept 30, 2014 0:32:23 GMT
Your sil sounds like the neighborhood nightmare. ATV's have no business on streets (and yes, we have them and always wear helmets - never on road) Offending him would be the least of my concerns, actually, it wouldn't be a concern at all.
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Post by lavawalker on Sept 30, 2014 0:37:32 GMT
Helmets are non-negotiable period. This^^^^^ Yep..... what they said ^^^^^ |
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Post by mztfied on Sept 30, 2014 22:52:18 GMT
Helmet or no riding. Period.
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scrapngranny
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Post by scrapngranny on Sept 30, 2014 23:18:58 GMT
We have had quads and I doubt seriously he was going 60.....but helmets are a must at any speed. I would not be thrilled that the SIL would encourage your son to ignore the law regarding street riding either. I would nix all quad riding in the future, SIL doesn't appear to be responsible enough to make this a good idea.
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SabrinaP
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Post by SabrinaP on Oct 1, 2014 1:06:40 GMT
Not okay. I would not be happy with DH for not saying something. If he refuses, I would have to.
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Post by lovestocreate on Oct 2, 2014 6:47:28 GMT
You haven't updated, OP, so I hope you were able to have this conversation with the involved family. I came off kind-of abrupt with my response, but I would like to take a moment to mention relatives who were killed in an ATV accident almost one year ago. They were both under 10 years old. Please. Please, say something.
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Post by cropduster on Oct 2, 2014 10:59:55 GMT
As an owner of an ATV who takes great pleasure in riding it, all I can say is...are they nuts?!!!! Please do your DH and DS a favor and pull up the ATV rules for your state and show it to them. Your in-laws are in for some heavy fines if they are caught doing what they are doing with your DS, not to mention having their ATV taken away.
You've already gotten great advice on how to confront them with this matter. I wish you luck.
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