pancakes
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,002 
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Post by pancakes on Jan 23, 2019 0:58:33 GMT
I guess I should also mention that I am friends with his mom too....lol. We both host International Students and carpool together. I would keep in touch with his mom and find out news about him from her, if you’re interested. Like others have said, actually continuing a relationship with him beyond being a very passive, non communicating Facebook friend would be a betrayal to your daughter. |
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,793
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Post by Rhondito on Jan 23, 2019 2:03:37 GMT
My favorite aunt and uncle did this with my ex-husband and I cannot describe how much it hurt and how betrayed I felt. They went as far as having him spend weekends at their home. They thought he was the greatest guy - most people did - but he wasn't a great husband.
That's been almost 22 years ago and my relationship with them has never been the same.
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Post by houstonsandy on Jan 23, 2019 2:18:06 GMT
All advice is being noted. The kids spent twelve years together at a small school and I had known his whole family for many, many years before they actually started dating so to be friends with his Mom isn't that unusual under the circumstances.
He actually called me this evening to tell me about his eventful day at work and to let me know that he is still going to come over to help me finish up a project in the back yard we had been working on. DD is fine with us remaining friends. They are remaining on friendly terms so it is just a matter of seeing how it plays out over the next few months. They are giving it until summer to decide what happens as far as getting back together or parting ways. And yes, I intend to stay out of it. What happens, happens.
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Post by jenjie on Jan 23, 2019 3:37:21 GMT
I wouldn't do it and I haven't. I also think it's odd to be friends with the parents of the person your child dating. That seems like you are just setting yourself up for crossing the line with your kid. Unless they were friends first. |
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Post by Tamhugh on Jan 23, 2019 3:52:04 GMT
I wouldn't do it and I haven't. I also think it's odd to be friends with the parents of the person your child dating. That seems like you are just setting yourself up for crossing the line with your kid. DS had a high school girlfriend that I stayed close with after they broke up. But I had met her mom when she was pregnant with this girl. We were friends with the extended family long before they ever dated and everyone agreed that no matter what happened in their relationship, we would remain friends. Luckily they also stayed friends for a long time after the breakup and DS always said he knew I had a separate relationship with her outside of theirs and it had nothing to do with him. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 23, 2019 4:50:01 GMT
This is one of my worst nightmares. My ds has been w/the same girl for 3 years and I love her so much. She is family and if they ever break up I think it'll be hardest on me, because she's the dd that I always wanted. She comes for dinner when he's away at college and we text and talk on occasion, too. She had an accident a couple weeks ago and I was right there to take care of her. However, they're in college and these things don't always last. I tried not to get close to her, but she's just too wonderful.
I can see how hard this is for you and I do hope that your dd will reconcile when she sees that the grass isn't always greener. In the meantime, only keep in touch w/him if your dd is ok w/it. Make sure that you're not giving him false hope, too.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,275
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Post by iowgirl on Jan 23, 2019 15:49:29 GMT
But back to my original question....is it odd to want to keep in contact with him? I'm not ready to just say so long. Its like losing a son! Tread lightly here... I have been in this situation twice. It is hard to stop all communication, especially since communication is so easy now. But keep it sparse, keep it light, and DO NOT talk about the relationship or your daughter ever. A Happy Birthday text or such is ok, but cool your jets. It gets easier as time goes on. But dang.. breakups are hard on everyone! I know how you feel right now  |
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