Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 5:28:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2019 19:42:49 GMT
We had son( the mid wife told that he may have started with a twin)?, then 2 that didn’t stick, daughter( she had 2 others with her but they didn’t stick) , 1 horrible crime scene miscarriage.
At that point my husband was done, we bought had old parents and we didn’t want to be old parents.
Truthfully, I would love to have 4 more. I wanted 6. I guess that wasn’t to be.
Neither child wants children of their own, so by the time they doi probably won’t be around to see them.
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Post by Sorrel on Feb 19, 2019 19:56:55 GMT
I have two girls 2 years apart. I never wanted more than that. I love my girls dearly and wouldn’t change anything, but if I had never had kids I would have been ok with that too.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Feb 19, 2019 20:04:12 GMT
My daughter was a gift to me, from herself. She turned 7 right before my son was born. Now they are 17 and 25, and honestly, the 7 year age difference couldn't have been better.
They have always been so very close. She is a gift to me, and a treasure to my son.
Around the time my son was 7-10 I thought I'd like to have another, but while my life was stable and happy and good, I didn't have another person in my life that I was willing to commit to and raise a child with. I'm not the type of person that would have had a kid outside of a (hopefully lifelong) relationship intentionally.
Now that my son is 17 and a senior in high school, I have no desire to enter child rearing again!
So, my 2, one bio and one a gift, are perfect.
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Post by Patter on Feb 19, 2019 20:04:59 GMT
We only wanted one kiddo, and that was after being married for 4 years. We were having too much fun just being "us." But my mommy clock started ticking at age 29 so we decided we would try for "a" baby. Little did we know that God had other plans. I got pregnant right away, and my husband kept saying "We are not having twins. We are not having twins." He said that because we have SO many in the family. Well, God heard that, and He gave us triplets. God does have a sense of humor. We love our girls immensly! While we never, ever thought we would have more than one baby, having triplets is PERFECT for us. I would do it all over again if I wasn't so old. I also love that we didn't have 3 singletons. I know now that I could not handle the 3 different ages at once. Having them the same age was AWESOME! We can't imagine life without any of them. They are such a huge blessing to us, and I LOVE being their Mommy/Mama/Mom. Yes, all 3 call me a different name.  |
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 5:28:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2019 20:10:19 GMT
I have two, who are almost exactly two years apart, which really is perfect. I would have liked a third child, but I had (undiagnosed) PPD and realized that more children wouldn't have been good for my mental health at that time. By the time I came out of the PPD, my two were old enough that there would have been a large age gap between #2 and #3. I felt like #3 would need another sibling closer to his/her own age, but I really didn't want 4 children! So we stopped at two.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,717 
Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Feb 19, 2019 20:12:19 GMT
My girls are 8 1/2 years apart. I wish they had been closer together, but circumstances were not in our favor. In many ways, it's like having two only children.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Feb 19, 2019 20:15:48 GMT
I've never really thought about how many kids I wanted, I just had what I had I like their ages even though they are so far apart - 37, 29, 19 I know it's odd and not what most people would plan, I sure didn't, but it works for us and I can't imagine any other configuration of my kids |
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Feb 19, 2019 20:21:33 GMT
I always wanted 2, but that's not what was in the plan for me.
However, my son is now almost 23 and my SO has a daughter who is 13. I have been in her life since she was 5, so in a round about way, I do have 2.
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
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Post by Mystie on Feb 19, 2019 20:33:11 GMT
I have zero kids and that is the absolute perfect amount for me. I'm grateful every day that I had a choice.
I know my sister would have loved to have a couple more--she has a son and a daughter 3 1/2 years apart--but they simply couldn't afford it. I don't know how people afford more than two kids, honestly.
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Post by tenacious on Feb 19, 2019 20:34:09 GMT
I have 2 boys 25 months apart, then a girl anther 27 months later. If I could have, I would have had another girl right after DD. But, I started late, and at 36 with an almost 5, 3, and 1 year old, and a DH that traveled constantly, I just couldn’t do it. Now at 48 I wish I could have! But, I think I was wise to know my limits. My DS1 is non-Neuro typical, and he requires A LOT of extra time and attention.
When the kids were small, the spacing was hard, but, now I absolutely love it!! They are each other’s best friends (and, sometimes enemies, too). ;-)
Erin
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Post by lbp on Feb 19, 2019 20:47:17 GMT
I always wanted 3 children. However DH and i never discussed children before we got married! (we were very young) I was pretty shocked when I wanted to start a family that he said he didn't want any kids! We had many, many discussions about this before he said ok to one! It took us almost 5 years to get pregnant with our son. After the emotional roller coaster of trying to get pregnant I was done too. However in retrospect, I wish we would have had a least one more. I worry about him being lonely later on with no other family.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,308
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
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Post by lesley on Feb 19, 2019 20:50:17 GMT
I would have loved a third child (there are 30 months between DD, now 23, and DS, 21). However I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when DS was 13 months old, and I spent the next five years in a haze of constant terrible pain. I could hardly attend to the two I had, never mind consider a third.  |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Feb 19, 2019 20:50:58 GMT
I very much wanted two more children... I have four girls that sort of happened to come in “sets” about ten years apart, so they are now 17, nearly 15, 7, and 5. I had really hoped I’d meet someone and be able to have two more but I think I’m at the point where I’ve run out of time... I’m entering my last year in my 30s in a few weeks and hopefully starting a new career in the next year, so I think I might need to end that baby part of my life  My friend just had her first at 43. Just saying! True! I do know lots of moms who don’t have start having children until they are almost the age I am now.. I just had a mental deadline. |
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Post by mustlovecats on Feb 19, 2019 20:54:38 GMT
I wanted one or two more but was not healthy enough.
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Post by Really Red on Feb 19, 2019 20:58:54 GMT
 Oh my! I love all your stories. I liked them all, but some of the likes are sympathy hugs. Children are something else, aren't they? One of my sisters and I are 18 mos apart and that was fabulous growing up. But my brother is 6 years older and we got along (and still do) great. My youngest sister and I, 5 years apart, are probably the most distant, but that is maybe more of the fact that she is a Witness and we get to see her when she's available only. It was fun having twins once they were old enough to play together (around 8 mos), but very hard until then. Patter I cannot imagine 3 infants without help. I did mine nearly on my own (XH was available only on weekends, for the most part) and I was worn out! Still, I often feel like one is missing. Everyone always said once the girls were out of the house that my son would be lost. Instead, he blossomed and our relationship thrived. The girls have a LOT of friends and a LOT of life in them. My son and I have our own ballet which we love. I do wish mine were a little closer in age. My son is 3.5 years younger and that's a big difference for now even though I see it changing bit by bit. |
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Post by miominmio on Feb 19, 2019 20:59:09 GMT
I wish I had one more. I was supposed to have one more (DD was a twin, but the other one disappeared within a few weeks. It happens, but sometimes I think about the child that was never born).
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,907
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Feb 19, 2019 21:12:24 GMT
We have no children; wanted them, couldn't. But this week is half term. That means it's MUCH busier at work, as well as lots of staff taking the week off. Today I worked an extra early shift taking calls from short-tempered customers, then rewarded myself by going to the Mall afterwards. Mistake! I almost got hit by flying balls of yarn from teenaged boys throwing them at each other then leaving them where they fell before dumping empty baskets on the floor and running races up and down the aisles. No parents anywhere around. Today I was only too happy to be able to come home and escape all the toe-rags. I voted that I have exactly the right number.  |
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Post by librarylady on Feb 19, 2019 21:20:36 GMT
You forgot the choice:
Pt.2 I would have liked more kids but physical conditions prohibited that.
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Post by withapea on Feb 19, 2019 21:21:45 GMT
DH and I thought we only wanted one but decided to have another. We have two that are five years apart and it's perfect for us. Initially I was a little concerned about the age difference but they have always been close and now that they're older, they're literally best friends.
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Post by bc2ca on Feb 19, 2019 21:25:36 GMT
I have 2 spaced 19 months apart and I think that is perfect. I like that they were always at the same stage of life with school, sports, movie, game & tv ratings, bedtimes, etc.
There was a point we thought we'd have an only. FIL died when DD was an infant and the idea of her being alone one day really shook DH. We decided not to use birth control after that and DS showed up a little over a year later.
DH and I were older when we married and started our family, and happily surrounded by niblings and friends' kids, so would have been ok if it didn't happen for us. There's a very good chance we would have ended up as foster parents.
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 5:28:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2019 21:36:05 GMT
My DS and my DD are 4.5 years apart. I really wanted to have another after DD was born.... I was 30 at the time. But we were busy buying a company and financial constraints limited us as we wanted me to be a stay home mom. So, instead of going to work, I started keeping other people's babies. And being a daycare provider worked for 15 years. When our DD was 5, DH said, ok, if we are going to have another now's the time. I was 35 and DS was 9 and DD was 5 and we were involved with Scouting and had a boat at the lake and had a pool at the house....so I told DH let's just take the kids to Disney World. Best decision ever! Our DS went into business with DH and DD achieved 2 college degrees with no debt.
I would have loved to have a housefull of my own babies...but financially...that didn't make sense. Now, I'm retired and able to help with my 3 grandbabies....
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,087
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Post by AllieC on Feb 19, 2019 21:41:10 GMT
I have one child - I really wanted more but it wasn't to be for me.
I do get annoyed (still, even though she is 21) at people who talk about perfect spacing of their kids and how people who have them closer/further apart are not doing the right thing, are selfish etc. Those people obviously have no idea of what some people go through to have children and the least of their worries is how far apart the kids are. Sorry, it's a hot button for me!
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Post by alsomsknit on Feb 19, 2019 21:42:45 GMT
I have an only and regret we couldn’t have more.
The only reason we had our son was that I had no interest in children and he did. So, I promised him one. I would have been perfectly fine with no children had I not had my son. The mommy bug hit quite hard. I was completely and totally over the moon over my little guy. We were never successful in attaining another pregnancy. Unfortunately, we discovered our insurance would have covered infertility treatments too late. There was a time period that the infertility was documented by the OB/Gyn. Mine knew we wanted more children. Despite that, he treated my endometriosis in such a flippant way. He sucked and I stupidly trusted him. It took 2 years for me to have “a spot of endometriosis” to an ovary that was twice its normal size and ending up with emergency surgery to remove it. It wasn’t cancerous, thankfully.
When another biological child was obviously not happening, I wanted to look into adoption. DH was adamant that there would be no more children. If I am truthful, I still resent him for it. Although my family is complete, it isn’t really.
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Post by brenda89 on Feb 19, 2019 21:48:50 GMT
I have 1. She's 15. I would have liked a 2nd, but XH and I agreed when she was younger that she was going to be the only. I'd changed my mind after seeing how having her didn't help XH grow up any, he wasn't much help with her at all. We just divorced at the end of last year, and I'm now glad we didn't have more. DD is pretty much a perfect kid.
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Post by maryland on Feb 19, 2019 21:54:25 GMT
I have 3 and always wanted 4. My husband only wanted 2, but I was able to talk him into 3! We have 3 girls, so if we had a boy and girl, I don't think he would have agreed to a 3rd as easily. Now that they are 21, 19 and 15, I know it would have been very expensive with more than 3. They all dance, and that's expensive, and so is college. But it would have been wonderful to have 4 also!
I think the infant/toddler years were much easier than the teen years! And my teens are great! No moodiness, and no troubles with them at all. They are easy teens. But the business, expense, etc. is what makes it harder. And my girls are very messy! haha!
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Feb 19, 2019 21:54:37 GMT
I have a girl and boy 8 years apart.
We took our time deciding to have another. Daycare is so expensive here and I went back so school so time just grew between them.
I would have had more if I didn't have to work. I would have liked them closer in age but we would not be financially/career wise as well off if we did that. It was the right decision for us at the time.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,923
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Feb 19, 2019 22:07:58 GMT
I'm an only child with an only child, so it's normal to me. I've never wanted siblings or more/less children.
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 5:28:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2019 22:12:39 GMT
I would have liked 3 kids. But due to a high risk pregnancy with ds, his in utero and post birth medical needs, my CHD, and subsequently dds needs, we all thought best to not have any more kids naturally. Adoption is still on the table.
Dd and ds are 3 years and 18 days apart. I was hoping for 3 years between and that is what I got.
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 5:28:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2019 22:14:10 GMT
Oh and before ds I had a MC. He was conceived a month later.
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Post by Zee on Feb 19, 2019 22:20:59 GMT
Interesting poll! I answered that I would have liked more, though I am quite content with just the two. I would have liked four or six to be honest, and might have if I had easier pregnancies. I chose to get my tubes tied the day I had my youngest because pregnancy was really rough on me. Mostly I've been just fine with that choice other than a brief longing for another when I was in my 30s.
They're 3.5 years apart, and best friends, so that worked out well.
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