huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,044
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Mar 9, 2019 15:41:51 GMT
My sil’s father died. She is married to my brother. I went to school with her from 2nd grade through graduation. Very small school. We were always on again off again friends. She has a history of getting mad at people for unknown reasons. As my sil of 27 years, we have had a dicey relationship. We have never been close. I also knew her parents. Small town, same church. Visitation/prayer service is tomorrow. I am going. Do I guve a sympathy card to sil and her mother or just the mother or one card to her mother addressed to the whole family?
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 9, 2019 15:47:19 GMT
I’d give one card and not really address it to anyone in particular. There is usually a drop box for cards, so it’s not in question where the card belongs.
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 9, 2019 16:27:39 GMT
Because you have known them all so long, I'd send her one and her mother a separate one.
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Post by librarylady on Mar 9, 2019 16:55:15 GMT
1 card to SIL and 1 card to her mother.
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kate
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,562
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Mar 9, 2019 17:01:16 GMT
I would send two separate cards. I'd mail them - if SIL gets mad randomly, she might expect a card at the funeral home to contain a donation of some kind (not saying it's a REASONABLE expectation, mind you!)
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Post by malibou on Mar 9, 2019 17:01:30 GMT
I would do one to each.
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Post by ILoveToScrapPea on Mar 9, 2019 17:03:38 GMT
I’m in agreement with other peas. One card to SIL and one card to her mom. She may get upset otherwise.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 5, 2024 4:28:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2019 17:23:18 GMT
I'd do one to each being that you know both, they live in separate households and he was also your brother's FIL so he has suffered a loss as well. If you are including a donation, then I might just do one card.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,513
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Mar 9, 2019 17:37:13 GMT
I only send sympathy cards if I'm unable to make it to the funeral home. The purpose of sending a card is to let the family know that I care and I'm sorry for their loss, but if I'm there in person I've already done that.
As far as donations, I always send them directly to whatever charity is mentioned in the obituary. The organization notifies the family of all the donations.
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Post by mom on Mar 9, 2019 17:49:03 GMT
I would send two separate cards. Because your SIL is part of your family, if you only do one card, I would send it to her.
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Post by bc2ca on Mar 9, 2019 19:25:15 GMT
In this scenario, I send a card to each of them.
The only time I have sent one card is when the widow lived with her son and family. I addressed the card to the family that time.
I always mail the cards.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
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Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Mar 9, 2019 19:30:17 GMT
One to each. Covers all the bases and isn't that expensive to head off any hurt feelings.
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Post by nlwilkins on Mar 10, 2019 2:37:47 GMT
Actually, one card to each household addressed to the family at that address. That way your brother is included and so on. A quick handwritten note inside would also be nice to personalize it.
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Post by disneypal on Mar 10, 2019 8:58:10 GMT
Because you have known them all so long, I'd send her one and her mother a separate one. I agree
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,378
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Mar 10, 2019 9:07:58 GMT
I agree - one to each household. And include your brother in the one to sil. He's lost someone, too.
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