S/O of Vent - Glorification of busy

I sometimes add things that I've done on almost done on a to do list so I can prove to myself I've been working, but a done list is out there for me.

And personally, I like not being so busy

List or no list, I know when I am productive and when I am being lazy. However, for my brain, I need to "see" what I need to get done. Crossing stuff off the list inspires me to keep going, or determine what I can move to another day.

If making a list of getting out of bed, showering, making breakfast works for some people, I guess I really don't care. It does not affect me, but it does seem pointless. Including a DONE list.

Some people who live with depression, anxiety, other mental health issues can be overwhelmed by a to do list. A list showing what was done can be more motivating. Plus, sometimes other people think those who live with these issues are just lazy.

I see this a lot in the planner community. There’s nothing wrong with needing and using a planner but I see people using them as a way to “plan” their shower, wake up, brush hair. Which makes me think that a) they’re trying to convince themselves they’re doing something and b) they just want to buy stuff to use.

Because when you are depressed, you sometimes need to see the list; that you actually accomplished something.

I'm a bullet journaler, and I see this a lot, too. I don't understand adding things to habit trackers that you do every day without consulting a list (brushing your teeth, for example). For me, if i'm putting something on a list or a tracker, it's b/c I'm likely to forget it if I don't check the list and/or I'm trying to ingrain it into my routine as a habit. BUT I figure different strokes, right? And I absolutely think some just want to make pretty lists/trackers or buy cute stickers, lol! 

But I also do think that a done list can be helpful for those with depression; I don't judge that at all. 

I can be scatterbrained, esp. if I am overwhelmed with a lot of activity or tasks on one day, and sometimes find that a detailed list keeps me from missing anything. Once it's down on paper, I'm not thinking to myself, "don't forget to bring..." whatever, or "don't forget to ask...." whatever. It frees up my brain b/c I know I won't forget, as long as I remember to check my bullet journal! 

I’m not a list maker and only learned late-ish in life (I’m 62) that if I have a large amount of things to do I need a list I can check off to quell my anxiety. I don’t feel the need to show them to anyone, though, and don’t get that part. Obviously, this is also a nod to what scrapqueen01 and pierkiss said.

Yes. Sometimes when pain/depression/energy is an issue getting up, showering and getting dressed is an accomplishment. Some days I am sure of myself, strong, and know I did my best and that’s enough. Other days, those voices that make snide comments are in my head and a visual reminder can help me feel better. 

But I am not one for being busy for the sake of being busy. I am perfectly happy knowing that I spent my afternoon reading and not accomplishing a darn thing. For me doing what makes me happy is more important than being busy. And I know I’m lucky to have the time to relax and do the things that make me happy.

I'm a SAHM with mostly grown kids - I have an abundance of free time. Sometimes I use it productively, sometimes I use it to do something I want to do, and sometimes I waste too much time here...

I'm a list maker - my lists have sub-lists, lol. I use Habitica.com for my lists - mostly because it's a format that works for me and less because of the gaming aspect. I do like ticking things off though.

Done lists? Only in the sense of typing an email to DH to share what I accomplished all day...which generally happens if a) I was much more productive than usual and want to brag or b) I ignored the housework and did other less visible things (scrapbook, sew, genealogy, paperwork) instead and I want to warn him that the house is a tip but not look like I was lazy and didn't do anything all day.

I'm fine with not being busy all the time, I think it's important to have downtime and I make sure my kids get some. Fortunately DH is also fine with me not being busy all the time.

As for habit trackers - I use them for stuff I ought to be doing but for whatever reason, it's NOT yet a habit or it's one I've gotten out of the routine with. So no, I don't need a tick box for brushing my teeth but I do have one for taking my fasting blood sugar...because I'm not as consistent with that as I should be. But once I'm consistent, I'll switch that out for something else.

But everyone is different and what works for me isn't what is going to work for someone else...and if someone else finds done lists or a tick box for showering helpful, then I'm glad they've found useful tools for them.

I am busy because I have a lot of responsibilities between work and home. I don't think that makes me any better or worse than anyone else, it's just the life I've chosen for myself. 

I live and die by my digital task manager/calendar because I find it far more stressful to NOT have a list of things that need to be done and when they need to be done. If I document something that needs to be done as soon as I'm aware of it, I remove that mental overhead of trying to remember everything. It makes my brain feel "freer." 

Every evening, I spend some time with my task manager planning what needs to be done the next day. The MUSTS and the plan-on-these-if-something-doesn't-blow-up-and-require-my-attention. It makes my days flow smoothly and things don't sneak up on me or risk being forgotten. 

Marking things off in my task manager is an important means of tracking for me. I have reports I need to do each week and I can look back through what I completed (and things I delegated that were completed) and pull together my reporting very quickly. And it's important I can document that because we're charging our clients a lot of money for our services and I'd better be able to breakdown exactly what we're doing for them because they don't usually understand all the incremental steps that go into building software. 

I love my job, but it's demanding (which is a big thing I like about it). I also have home and family responsibilities, and friend and family relationships, and hobbies and personal improvement. All of those things require time and attention and action. I spend my time in ways that matter to me and I don't care if anyone thinks I'm too busy. I'm happy with my life. I don't think my life is for everyone, but it doesn't matter. If it makes me and the people important to me happy, that's what counts. 

We'd all be better off IMO if we focused on doing what's right for us individually and those close to us rather than judging strangers for being too busy or not busy enough. 

This makes sense - you have a busy life - scheduling and lists are important. 

The blogger the op is referring to seems to take doing nothing and turn it in to a huge done list and glorifying it. It’s almost as if these done lists are her validation for not accomplishing anything. 


Most likely, you accomplish more in a half hour than she does in a day. She’s creating a sense of busy when there is none.

I actually feel quite bad for this woman. 

Work keeps me busier than I want to be, and I have to have a “to do” list to stay organized. I admit that it’s very satisfying to cross things off. But I only make that list-and update it daily-to stay on top of things. Once I retire, Google calendar will work just fine.

Say that again louder, sister, for the women in the back.

If lists help people great. But it's the posting of these lists on social media forums that make me raise my eyebrows. I mean we all have to clean the bathroom (check) fold the towels (check). If you need that written down to get it accomplished, or remind yourself that you were productive wonderful. If you need to post that list on FB for other people's validation of your busyness then why? If you need an accountability partner find one and keep it between the 2 of you. That same friend i mentioned on the other thread posted a list of what I consider every day chores with a few unique for the day things. She added "I don't know how I can get this done" or some other passive aggressive "please tell me how busy I am and how great I am" comment. Instead I took her literally. I took each of her task and showed her how they could be managed in under 3 hours start to finish. She's a grown woman with a couple of fully grown adult children still living at home but manages to have an excuse for every suggestion people give her online about why they can't shovel the driveway, or fold the towels, or drive themselves somewhere etc. Why she has to go pick up their case of beer for the weekend. There is a lot of good in lists and a lot of martyrdom in lists. Now with that I have to get up of this sofa and clean the house. Do you want a list? It's glamorous and involves everything from laundry to litter boxes